Why Are We Indian Guys Creepy?

Disclaimer – First things first, we’re not saying this applies to “every” man in the country. There’s no statement that applies to all of us, never can be. I assume (and hope) you carry that sensibility on your own while reading this piece.

I (Sanjay), proudly accept that I can come across as creepy in the western culture. However, after staying in the West and travelling around, I have come to realize some of the reasons why we Indian guys come across as creepy to the Western world. I would like to give you some of the background of where this is coming from. My hope is that in doing this, I might help you understand the local culture more and better interact with it so you can have a better experience while in India.

India is a very conservative society. Males and females are segregated from each other starting from school and there is very little social interaction between them. We are used to a world where men and women don’t talk to each other unless they need to or they are interested in each other, even then smiling doesn’t occur. When a Western women in this society chats up a local guy and smiles while admiring the local culture, the local sometimes takes it as a sign of interest. This gives him the dream of a beautiful white wife and life in a foreign rich country where he can fulfill his dreams and make his family rich. The feeling of love comes to his head and he is ready to do anything to achieve this dream.

Because of the limited social interactions with women, we are not used to flirting much and we flirt the way an inexperienced thirteen-year-old boy might do the Western culture. Also the social barriers change the way we flirt. During my high school years, I never had the courage to go straight up to a girl and talk her for fear of getting beaten up by her father or brothers. Instead, I would follow the girl back home (stalk) in a way that she notices for 8-10 days. Then I would dissapear for 3-4 days and follow her again. If she smiles upon seeing me, that would be an invitation to talk and then I would talk to her at a place where no one sees us or drop her a Letter:P. By Western standards, this is no doubt creepy and can(most probably) lead to a restraining order.

Locals think Western women are easy. Indian society is very conservative when it comes to sex before marriage. I can say this with certainty based on my own experiences with Indian girlfriends with the first relationship of 4 years without much sex (I had to try really really hard). By compairson, Indians, who get most of their knowlege about the West from Hollywood or from hearing stories of their friends living in the West, come to view Western society as being much more open inregards to sex. Without knowing the social dynamics of the West, many Indian men come to believe that Western societies do not vlaue it much or give it much meaning, which all goes towards making Indian men believe it is much more common and regular occurance. This belief that sex is easily had when combined with the average Indian man’s lack of knowledge about how to flirt or even talk to women can easily cause us to come across as quite weird when we try :).

All that said, a lot of us are really good/helping human beings in this country and Its good to be nice to locals and smile/mix with them to learn local culture. Calling an indian Brother/Bhaiya/Paaji would send him the right signal that you are not interested in him and would help keep the people with wrong intentions away.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • When 99% of encounters online with Indians are unsolicited sexual advances or stalker-ish behavior it's difficult to think otherwise. This is coming from someone who doesn't like stereotyping races, but the reality is that maybe 1 out of 20 Indians I encounter online DON'T display that inappropriate behavior.
    I literally had an old Indian guy delude himself into thinking we're in a long distance relationship. He used my pic as his cover pic, would spam me with poetic/romantic language, fight with me, make up with me...
    ... all while I didn't reply his messages once.
    That's definitely not saying all of them are like that. For the most part the ones I've briefly met irl have a solid sense of humor which I appreciate. But online... Yeah.

    Also, the way you guys pronounce "boobs" lmao

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    • That's just weird on so many levels I don't even know where to start. :P

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    • I didn't read most of his comments, didn't realise he was a bully

    • @nosweat2012 basically we were discussing the topic and anyone who had anything negative to say about their experiences with Indians online he would tell them they're not attractive and that they whore around and such. Disagreeing with an opinion is perfectly fine but when you resort to personal insults and bullying as your argument that's taking it too far.

Most Helpful Guy

  • TLDR; must be something in the water!

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Join the discussion

What Girls Said 30

  • Tbh I've come across lots of Indian guys in real life, and most have been perfectly fine. I think this website just attracts more creepy pervy ones for some reason.

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  • Not all Indian guys are bad, in fact I made some amazing Indian friends here they're really sweet! :) But some creepy Indians still exist and initially I keep a safe distance from them and watch out until I am convinced this guy isn't bad. Being alert doesn't mean that I find all creepy. In case anyone turns out to be, I'll be careful. You can't deny that creepy guys don't exist, and that a disappointing proportion of them comes from my neighboring country.

    Also, whenever an Indian knows I'm Bengali and they are all like "OMG you're Bengali? I love rasgulla!" "Bengali girls are so pretty I remember from the ODI series the girls in stadium" LOL those matches were epic and so was the craze about the girls lmao. Not to forget the Bengali memes and jokes I get, and speaking Hindi around me or attempting to speak half-Bengali, lol.

    Bengali girls get more attention than White girls. :v

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  • I don't see Indian guys as creepy, but what you're explaining about the cultural differences in opposite sex interactions makes a lot of sense. If a guy is from a culture without a lot of open flirting, I get how his reaction to something innocent like a smile could creep some girls out. But I think, at least on this site, what's influencing that opinion is the amount of Indian guys who message girls and ask for pictures or other personal information. It's obviously unfair to make a judgment on all men of a certain nationality based on limited experiences, but that happens sometimes.

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    • It is the one of the reason for writing this. 😊 Thanks for sharing your view on my take.

  • Because you were, for the most part, raised in a religion/culture that drills the idea of women being second-class citizens who are there for no reason other than to fuck, have children, and put food on the table.

    You can claim what you want about yourself but you've summed up why I steer clear from brown guys online as well as in rl pretty well with a few points you've written above:
    -Locals think Western women are easy. Indian society is very conservative when it comes to sex before marriage.(umm... conservative? You've got to be fucking kidding me. I've lost track the number of times I've had a brown guy come up to me in person and ask me to come home with him for a massage. continuing to insist even after I told him I have a boyfriend and am not interested.)
    -Indians, who get most of their knowledge about the West from Hollywood or from hearing stories of their friends living in the West, come to view Western society as being much more open in regards to sex. (if you're as good/helpful as you claim to be, then perhaps you should get a basic education and come to learn that just because we're not forced to cover every inch of our bodies and act like servants to our husbands doesn't make us pieces of meat available to fuck you who lack any ounce of self-respect.)
    -there are no signals to send to a brown guy to get him to leave you alone. Out of the many who have approached me like mindless pigs, even telling them 'no', 'fuck off', or straight up ignoring them didn't do anything to get them to behave like a civilized human being.

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    • Why would I go for you when I can get girls like this imgur. com/a/eRDeL

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    • @cinderelli Maybe in Islamic culture because of religion but outside of religion they come in all sizes

    • @Tlnet I am not saying everyone is like that.. like I mentioned earlier.. her opinion is very generalized but saying that there are no such problems would be just as generalized

  • Creepy? i don't think so

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  • Sometimes, it's difficult to understand people from different cultures you know little about. It seems odd to me that so many indian men want to marry a rich white woman. I heard that India is a poor country, is it true? Also, are people still divided in castes? Can a person go up a caste if he gets a good education or a good job? Or is the only solution to go abroad to work, study and marry, if one is poor?

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    • No they don't want to marry white women. I'm an Indian family in 🇬🇧, I have a 10mill trust fund. Born and raised here. I don't want to marry a white girl, Indian women look so much better here. Castes in India was made illegal I think. And it's wrong to believe Indians are just poor. I know a lot of Indian families in India who are richer then my family. There is so much money corruption in India and wealthy families keep million in cash in their home. That's why the president banned the biggest note.
      This is a girl I like: I personally don't think a white girl can compare imgur. com/a/eRDeL

    • Indians are doing a lot better then white prople. Indian men/women are the ones becoming doctors and we have set up so many small businesses boosting the UK economy. Another reason why I wouldn't marry a white girl is because I don't find them trust worthy. And they whore around - Indian girls are more stable.

  • 99% of the Indian guys I have met in real life are not creepy but 99% of the one I have met online are.

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  • I really enjoyed this!

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  • Lol I'm disappointed that you would write a take like this. There are super creepy guys of all races and backgrounds, it's not just Indian men. In fact Indian men don't harass me at all. Sure, there are some really gross despicable Indian men, but it's not like every Indian man is creepy. The Indian men I know are all kind, sweet, educated, we'll mannered and faithful to their wives and I also intend to marry an Indian.

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  • Thanks for clarifying it I really appreciate it

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    • Thanks for your appreciation. 😊

  • Actually Indian guys as a whole are not creepy. Indian guys who did not grow up in western culture are creepy. I know an Indian guy who grew up in Miami and he's not creepy at all, however, he also has no skills with women. He's not afraid to talk women but that's the extent of it. I've also met a couple other Indian guys who were not creepy but one had terrible BO and the other was a body builder but seemed pretty shy around women

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  • The reason Indian men are seen as "creepy" is because a few guys go online and ask creepy questions and so now everyone else see thinks of that stereotype when thinking about Indian men.

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  • I agree with this but also there are many Indian guys who are downright creepy because they just are and not because of cultural misunderstanding. For example I've had old Indian men message me on Facebook for nude pics and videos and when I don't reply they'd harass me for an answer. That is considered creepy in every culture. And this is coming from an Indian girl born and raised in the US. So I have an understanding of both cultures

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    • But Indian guys who are raised in America or even those who are raised in India but come from a more affluent background are normal. I find it's usually just those Indian guys who were raised in India in a very old fashioned way who think they are entitled to a woman just bc she dresses a certain way or acts in a certain manner

  • I've dated a few Westernized Indian men. Highly educated and very successful. Not creepy at all. In fact, very chivalrous and sophisticated.
    BUT they have MAJOR issues with women. Not blatantly but its in there. They cheat, can't commit, lie, suck in bed, can be emotionally abusive and very very selfish.
    That's every single Indian guy I've dated. Maybe its my picker but my Indian girlfriends tell me indian guys are no good.
    I'm done with them and would never go out with another.

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    • I'm wondering if its from culture. What they saw growing up. My guy friend has tons of Indian friends. He said they all cheat on their Indian wives. So I'm thinking its a woman thing not a white vs Indian vs Asian vs whatever thing

  • No Indian guys in real life are awesome and confidence I work with mostly Indian men and They are smart and helpful I depend on them as an accountant

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  • Yes they message me all the time and over and over again

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  • Indian guys are pretty attractive. 😘

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  • Sure are, like 99.9 percent of you are, like perverted pedophiles working at gas stations (which is a legit thing where I live).

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  • https://m.popkey.co/3cf47f/46dOx.gif I don't know bud... you tell us...

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  • Thanks for sharing this! It kind of explains why Indian men behave that way. I think that the main reason why some Indian guys seem creepy is due to their way of approaching women, especially online. They send messages that in such a way give us an idea that they are "women hungry" (sorry for the lack of better term). They are affectionate and they express their "love" to women who are strangers. But I understand given the environment. I just hope that it would be better if men, in general, would stop seeing women as sexual objects. :)

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    • Well said. 😊

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What Guys Said 32

  • It's sad how many people generalize all males of a certain ethnicity. Not everyone dislikes Indian guys, I don't. I actually have some friends that are of Indian ancestry and they are the polite and smart. I think people might have stumbled upon some "bad apples" which makes them assume all are the same.

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  • That cultural attitude might be what's causing the problem. Indian guys seem to have this attitude that they're superior to women, and kind of own them, which can turn a non-Indian woman off. I knew a white woman who married an Indian guy, and his attitude was pretty much: I have a job. I bring the money home. YOU handle everything else!

    And that's what he did. He did the job, but he expected his wife to take care of the kids, shuffle them around for doctor appointments, school activities, clean the house, wash the car, mow the grass, cook, take out the trash, give him sex whenever HE wanted, EVERYTHING! After a couple of years, she finally had enough, and left him.

    My wife had a job where she worked with several other women on an assembly line, and they had an Indian guy who was supposed to keep them supplied with the parts they needed. When one of them would yell, "Hey! I need some more (whatever part)!" he would actually get offended that a woman was telling him what to do. It was just part of the job!

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    • Well but that's not really specifically indian, is it? It's the same in the middle east, north africa, sub Saharan africa, Indonesia...
      And it's not like we don't have enough guys in the west who are exactly that way (those self proclaimed alpha male, aka primitive assholes).

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    • @Schrodingerscat true! What do you expect from the horny guys on the Internet? xD they can do anything.

    • @YourFutureEx yup... And these parts of internet always attract social outcasts, people who don't participate much IRL (mostly) from ALL societies... No wonder how most socially awkward Indian guys with no female company end up here. The likes of you and few others are pretty rare lol.

  • Wowww. Pretty great honest Take. I'm black American and I meet a lot of Indians here in the Washington D. C. area and some of what you say about the creepiness is true but a lot of the time I notice that Indian guys - especially the young ones - try to act in a certain reserved way because they know how we Americans perceive them.

    The thing that annoys me about Indians is not a creepiness factor but trying to bargain with store associates and get a deal lol. That kind of thing doesn't work in America and a lot of Indians still have to learn that.

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  • pshh everyone's fucking creepy. bitches gotta stop complaining lmao. be thankful they're not creepier than I.

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  • India needs to get liberal and modern. Stop being a conservative society. It's 2017

    How about learn to talk to girls and stop being pussies?

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    • Our parents will beat the crap out of us and society will slut shame.

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    • Impossible considering the presence of government policies like "anti-Romeo squad". As long as the rulers are prude, we cannot do anything. I would rather sit in an AC room with my right hand than jail.

    • We are modern. We are living in 2017. We know how to behave with women. Just few people are not able to accept the the reality. I personally don't consider such idiots as real man who don't know how to behave with girls.

      No doubt our parents and society is going to oppose us. There are people who are going to support us though rulers are prude. We can bring change by sitting in AC rooms by using Internet.

  • From what I have observed, it is a combination of Indian culture and that way that Indian men have been socialised to interact with women, although it may be more accurate to say that (in general) Indian men have not been taught how to interact with women.

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  • I don't know you guys in person. I've only met one of you in person and he wasn't creepy. But you Indian guys on this website have a very bad reputation of being creepy. You tell me why?

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  • Lets really try to understand what creepy even means to girls

    For the most part - Creepy is code for 'he thinks about me sexually but i don't find him attractive'

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  • I feel this is due to the culture of India being more conservative, and the men having higher odds of being more sexually suppressed.

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  • I was gonna say "you forgot perverted" but a bunch of girls beat me to it.

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  • Informative take 😊

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  • That was interesting mytake and explained a lot, guys are so limited there and get the wrong idea about women here it seems all because of cultural differences

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  • Anonymous take but I am agree with you.

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  • indian guys are not hot, only hot men are not creeps as simple as that

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    • Well said smart dude. 🙃

    • hot indian men are not creeps while we're at it

  • I wouldn't say they're creepy but unfortunately I know they have it harder than non Indian guys.

    I even dated an Indian girl once and she said she wouldn't date me if I was Indian.

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  • Yeah

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  • Interesting.

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  • I've never met a creepy Indian guy, everyone that I've met has been pretty chill. I'd suggest finding male American friends and learning how to assimilate better.

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  • Trust me creepyness does not have a relationship with our culture. This is about a male mind set for females and founds in every culture

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  • Interesting

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