Double Standards: Men Get More in Trouble for Sexual Harassment Than Women Do

[xPurpleRosesx]

To me it is kind of obvious that men get more in trouble for sexual harassment than women do. It is like something in our mind is saying that women don't harass men. But some women do!

This week I have seen an interview with one of my favorite bands on an Italian radio station and for me it went too far! Let me explain what happened:

It started off normal, asking the four boys how they have been and how they are doing and later she started talking about their third album which will be released this year. Date unknown. So she asked if they could tell her when the album will be released. Ofcourse they didn't want to tell it yet and her response to their answer was:

Come on look at me. I am young and blond you can tell me!

The four boys just laughed nervously to brush it off, but you could tell they weren't amused by her reaction at all!

Later throughout the interview she suddenly asked one of the boys to undo the buttons of her shirt. One of them declined ofcourse, but the second just did it to not make the interview way more awkward than it already was. You could tell he really was hesitating, but at the end he just did to be polite. When the button was undone she took off her shirt and stood in front of the guys with only her bra on! The boys were extremely uncomfortable and I bet they felt a little bit harassed as well, because she was pushing them to also take their shirt off and even tried to take off one of the boys' shirt.

If a man took off his trousers and stood in front of a group of girls he would have gotten in trouble and would even get fired! This woman never got in trouble for it nor did she get fired.

Men and women are equal also about this subject. Yes women experience more harassment than men do, but that doesn't mean that women don't harass men and in our eyes what this interviewer did was "fun".

Our mindset needs to change as soon as possible, because this is not okay!

This was my point of view and I would like to read all of your point of views!

Thank you for reading my MyTake :)

[letmeknow101]

I feel like this has to do more with how society makes males and females think and like you said yourself males harass females more than females harass males. I think about it in this way... if a group of men was forced to look at a good looking naked lady there wouldn't be much complaining the same goes for a group of ladies looking at a good looking naked man. Now let's say the naked lady tries to have sex with each male... Would you complain? I think some would and some wouldn't if the roles were switched the probability that more females would complain and feel uncomfortable would be higher. That is how society makes us think, but in both cases, the same amount of uncomfortableness is likely depending on each person.

[BOUNTYGUY9]

GOVERMENTS WANT TO BRING IN NEW LAWS REGARDING GIRLS AND GUYS AS THEY WANT TO CONTROL US GOVERMENTS HAVE JUMPED ON THIS BAND WAGON BY SAYING FEMALES ARE NOT BEEN TREATED NICE BY MALES SO THEY WANT TO KEEP US APART THEY ARE GOING TO CONTROL WHAT WE CAN AND can't DO THIS IS ALL PART OF THE NEW WORLD ORDER EVERY ONE OF YOU WILL HAVE TO WATCH FOR WHAT IS GOING TO BE COMING NEXT? YOU WANT TO ASK ME GO ON ASK AND I WILL TELL YOU?

[Anonymous]

I think you are right on for the most part. My only exception is I don't believe women get harassed more then men. I think it is more even really with a lot of men dealing with harassment from other men as well. It just isn't talked about as much. What this woman did was wrong and uncalled for. She should lose her job. I'm tired of how unfair this is. I don't think it will ever change though. Especially with women having more power now. I honestly feel like what is considered harassment by men with get more strict while what is harassment by women will get more relaxed. At least that seems to be the trend in the past few years.

[xPurpleRosesx]

Agreed 100%

[ManOnFire]

This will seem controversial but I actually think women would be harder on other women sex offenders if more women were in positions of authority. Male judges, cops, politicians, etc. get aroused by women doing dirty things and that's why they're less harsh on them.

[BOUNTYGUY9]

@ManOnFire YOU ARE SO FUCKING RIGHT ITS NOT LIKE ME TO SWEAR BUT I KNOW FULL WELL WHAT YOU ARE SAYING LOVE IT THEY ARE ALL PERVERTS?

[ManOnFire]

@BOUNTYGUY9 Lol thanks. Well, I think a lot of men in these positions of power have less sexual self-control than the average guy, yeah.

[BOUNTYGUY9]

@ManOnFire I THINK THATS WHY THEY GO IN FOR THOSE KIND OF JOBS BUNCH OF FILTHY LOW LIFES LOOK AT DONALD TRUMP NO RIGHT WOMAN WOULD GO WITH HIM THEY GO WITH HIM FOR MONEY HE HAS TO PAY FOR SEX LOL

[ManOnFire]

@BOUNTYGUY9 Amen!

[MlleCake]

You're right. And that is wrong. Male victims need to be taken seriously. Female perpetrators need to be taken seriously.

Maybe it does happen less than the other way around, but that doesn't matter, because it's still a problem when it happens, and it still deserves a swift and just response.

When one person is harmed, we all lose.

[JimRSmith]

This is under-reported for sure.

Having said that, men are better equipped to shut it down than women are.

Good Take.

[CoffeeWC]

I know right? This is so unfair on so many levels. And who in their right mind does that during an interview?

[xPurpleRosesx]

This happened all during the interview

[Anonymous]

Thank you SO MUCH for talking about this. Like with so many situations, I feel like "yes, it tends to affect women more, but men deal with it too" and I hate when people disregard it or say to just deal with it and don't be a "pussy." Like, I have a girlfriend (1.5 years now), who I am very loyal to and madly in love with, and whenever I have any interaction with anyone else, this other girl will always yell out "YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!" and will sometimes come up and grab my butt and has twerked on me multiple times, despite my very repeated requests to stop and actions to make her back off, (neither of us has any feelings for each otehr, she jsut thinks it is funny, even though it really bothers me), and many of the people aware of it say nothing about it or ask me why I let her do that, and it makes me so mad. I hate how girls think that they can say or do whatever they want to a guy, but if we say or do anything that they could use to take advantage of a situation or bothers them at all, they think it is fine to hold it against us and make a huge deal out of it because they are women. Several times, I have been accused of staring at girls' cleavage, and I am not at all, and sometimes they make huge deals out of it, but I did nothing. On the other hand, if I grabbed a girl's butt, sexually harassed her, said anything about her chest or butt or legs or took advantage of something they said or got mad about something they said, everyone else would rush to her aid.

These double standards honestly make me want to not even have opinions. Like that image we have all seen about the couple who was drunk and had sex and the guy got charged for rape, but they ignore the fact that the guy and girl were BOTH drunk and could not make a good judgment. I think this is honestly ridiculous that people believe that "because some men wrong lots of girls, men are evil if they do anything and wimps if they get their feelings hurt, but women can do whatever they want without consequence. Like, we are not all the same.

[MadManInBlueBox]

To your last point, I spent 9 years in the U. S. Army. Sexual assault was getting so bad that it was impossible to tell who was really at fault, especially when alchahol was involved. By the time I left, we were already two years into a policy in which it is absolutely against army regulations for a soldier to have sex while under the influence of anything. So, if two people are having sex and they get tested for some reason, they both will be charged with sexual assault. of course, that does nothing as reality is, and I had many sergeants say this, it's all about "who reports it first" now. So, in other words, if someone cries rape in the military, whether it's true or not, it's fact in the eyes of military legalities.

[Opinion Owner]

@MadManInBlueBox Yeah, it really upsets me. Like with all the women calling sexual assult against the big tv guys for incidents 10 or 20 years ago. Sure there is benefit of the doubt, but even if it never happened, he never had a chance.

[RolandCuthbert]

Oh, not good looking men. Not many sexual harassment cases are brought up against good looking guys. How many women have said Zac Efron harassed them?

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But when this is coming for ya. . . well. . .

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[Onlythisone]

They don't, around half of the guys at work have had claims put against them... One has had 3, in every case the girl got fired for causing problems (except one they just transferred) all the guys flirt constantly. 90% of their work day is making rounds between girls. 2 of the guys at this job we're fired from their last "by women" but if you see how they interact with women you would know it isn't flirting that got them in trouble... It's that they are assholes. But I work in an all male field that has a very "frat boy" culture so it could vary but everything I've witnessed is the opposite. Last time people got fired at my building it was both because they were caught having sex on the loading dock.

[ManOnFire]

I know some of what you're talking about, yeah. I'm a guy and it's one of the reasons I don't like working with more men than women. It's that frat boy thing, like you said. Let a female come into the room and they're all ready to chat her up. I've experienced their jock behavior and it's very irritating. And if you're not "cool" or jive like them then they exclude you as a guy.

[Onlythisone]

@ManOnFire I like working with men because it's easy to rise to the top of male dominance hierarchies. They are based on work, you produce more you get more respect.

Work is a competition, you are in the "cool" category if you can handle your shit... At least in skilled labor jobs, I imagine office jobs are very different.

I'm immune because of that, if any of the warehouse workers tried to flirt with me my guys would jump down their throats, I'm basically their mommy, likewise any girl in the building has a problem with one of my guys they know now to talk to me and I'll get it straightened out.

But being at the bottom of the totem in male workplaces is a lot more difficult... Especially if you try to claim authority that isn't earned, the two guys most hated are opportunities personality wise but both tried to claim they were the "leader" without the blood and sweat to prove it.

[ManOnFire]

@Onlythisone I notice that it's easier for females to feel this way because men treat women differently in male-dominated fields as opposed to how they treat other men. Basically, aside from maybe sexual harassment, it's a cake walk for women.

The cool factor among men has less to do with how well you do your job alongside them and more to do with if your mindset is like theirs with the jock circle. I know because I've worked 2 different jobs in warehouses before and was very good at both those jobs but the guys didn't like me because I wasn't frat boy enough and didn't care about sports. I'm the kind of guy who is comfortable in my own shoes. I'm not interested in jock groups and all that stuff. I'm more of a thinker, those guys aren't.

My Take is just about done. All in one day. Now that I know we see things differently I'll let you know so you can read it and see where I'm coming from.

[Onlythisone]

@ManOnFire sorry but that is completely bullshit. Respect has nothing to do with whether you like sports, if the majority didn't like you it meant they couldn't rely on you.

[ManOnFire]

@Onlythisone Ahahaha! Even my supervisors told me I was great! But when you deal with a bunch of guys who want to be hotshots and chat women up all day and they see how you are, you're gonna be disliked, yeah.

[ManOnFire]

Wow, that is bizarre. It's true, men face much more persecution for ANY sexual activity than women who would do the same thing. But this is because men still run the justice system and these male authorities are aroused by women's sexual offenses, especially by female teachers, so they will be light on them.

But although I do think a world run by women would be just as troubled, if it's one thing I can say it's that I do think women would be harder on female sex offenders because I do notice women get pretty angry about it.

[CubsterShura]

Lol yeah true. Girls judge other girls really badly. I love this opinion.

[ManOnFire]

@CubsterShura Lol. Yeah, I actually do like that women find other women's sexual crimes to be unfair. It means that maybe they're more conscientious about that than men. It's a lot easier for a woman to prosecute another woman who might deepthroat a 13 year-old boy in her own home and video tape it, while male authorities wouldn't be able to get over their arousal from it and might even try to get her to deepthroat them in private too.

[CubsterShura]

Hmm yeah. Especially the news of female teachers sending inappropriate pics and vids to students, and boys asking 'where was this teacher when I was in school?' lol yeah I totally get you.

[shephardjhon]

"male authorities are aroused by women's sexual offenses"
"women would be harder on female sex offenders"
The only thing I agree with modern feminism on.

[MadManInBlueBox]

I had a coworker, a very attractive one at that literally groped my crotch at work. I reported it. Head of HR (a male) said: "did you like it?" I was a bit flabbergasted. I then took it up the chain (female) and she said she'd look into it, but she "heard that [I] got kind of hard." I reminded her I was taken, so even if that was true, this was still wrong. I never heard anything about it after that. However, two guys were fired for telling a secretary she looked "nice" in a dress.

Not making that up. Real-world scenario.

[Balinka]

This world is fucked up. I mean, i hate this double standards, racial, gender... like why? We are supposed to be the same uh?

[CubsterShura]

Dafuq it's disgusting! I'm so sorry for you! No one should ever behave like that. If I was in the employer's place I would have surely fired her.

I want to tell you one thing. Guys getting hard to these kind of conduct is something that is beyond a man's control, and it doesn't matter whether or not it was wanted. Even if you got really hard you don't have ANY blame.

[BOUNTYGUY9]

@Balinka you are so very true

[MadManInBlueBox]

@CubsterShura Trees. It's like the argument that a woman for wary during rape, therefore she wanted it (I've heard these arguments before). At least did women, that's a self defence. Stl, we're not in anymore control of our own responses. Except that we know how to say no.

[MadManInBlueBox]

@CubsterShura Yes. It's like the argument when woman gets wet during rape, and it's claimed that she, therefor, wanted it (I've heard these arguments before). At least for women, that's a self defence. Still, we're not in anymore control of our own responses. Except that we know how to say no.

[CubsterShura]

But it is natural that the body would respond with arousal if the private parts are touched. And yeah this is a ridiculous excuse to blame the victim.

[BOUNTYGUY9]

@Balinka VERY TRUE WE ARE IN A FUCKED UP WORLD I BLAME THE GOVERMENTS OF THE WORLD FOR THIS THEY WANT TO CONTROL US THINK OUT OF THE BOX? THEY WANT TO PART MALE AND FEMALE ITS ALL PART OF THE NEW WORLD ORDER?

[MadManInBlueBox]

@BOUNTYGUY9 Not to get off-topic, but what in the world did I just read?

[BOUNTYGUY9]

read it again lol

[andreasderjuengere]

I guess, the number of incidents that qualify for harassment is similar on either side. It is more the way how both genders handle it?
Men can 'shake it off' easier. We often don't make an incorrect behaviour a big thing, where women (in general, and in a majority) tend to more drama.
Presently there is a media trend and a feminist exploit campaign going that makes the issue more public than it has been in previous times. Not saying that this is over-done, but a good portion of 'cases' is just overreaction and displaced.
I agree with you that we need to change our mind set. But a slightly different way.
Individuals must come down to earth again, and each of us should exercise more self-censorship/self-control.
Seen from a woman's view I somewhat understand your point. But unless MALES decide to do something, please abstain from a call like this on matters that are not YOURS.
Anyhow: thank you for caring, and giving it a thought.

[MelaninDoll]

Hmm you're giving me a lot to think about.

[JSmith925]

I agree with this. Just because men are generally stronger physically, this does not mean a woman cannot misuse power or social pressure to take advantage of a man. You are also correct that they are less often called to account for doing so.
Despite this, men are more often the sexual aggressors and perpetrate far more harassment than women.
You can probably tell from my writing that I would not be easily victimized by a man or a women. In the situation you describe, I might have been inclined to tell her to please put on her shirt.
~JSmith

[herefishyfishyfishy]

both men and woman get harassed equally the difference is men don't take it as harassment and instead flip it as a compliment.

For example I work part time as a taxi driver... and I occasionally get groped or hit on by woman while driving... I just simply tell them i'm taken sometimes they still continue to flirt or be touchy but it's harmless and when they leave the car, i'm not thinking I've just been sexually harassed I just think " I still got it "...

flip that around to a female driver and a male passenger... that guy would have the police at his door the next morning being charged of sexual assault...

Truth is even when i'm not interested in them for whatever reason I know they are just showing signs of affection and aren't doing it to hurt me and it is also nice to be thought of in that way...

[JonDoe1985]

I would even argue that men and women experiance it equally. It's just men are less likely to report it for fear of ridicule among their peers. Actually, any sexual violation towards men is more likely to be met with lauging and disdain. That reminds me of a social experiment video on the internet a few years ago. A guy was pretending to be an abusive significant other. He was yelling, pushing and all that. People watching were appaled. many even attempted to interviene, both verbally and physically.

Then they reversed the rolls. Nobody--Not one person helped the poor sap. The woman was doing everything the guy did to her, and no one did anything to try and help; in fact, many of them just laughed at it.

[DeeDeeDeVour]

Not fair game. I know and I've seen women do the same but "play innocent" numerous times. Lucky for the men, I'm not one who'll simply put up and shut up. I don't give a hoot about gender equality in the workplace. When there's a crime committed, the truly innocent's got my support.

[Wass_PL]

I'm assuming you mean the Band 5SOS, standing for 5 Seconds of Summer and this:

www.popbuzz.com/.../

Men have done similar things without getting in trouble. Here is an example. All videos are recorded and checked, so they know about it.

www.themuse.com/.../my-story-i-was-sexually-harassed-at-an-informational-interview

It's simple: man or woman will be fired and charged if reported.

These boys didn't seem to think they were harassed. Why would they laugh about it?

[xPurpleRosesx]

Sorry but if something like this happened to me I would laugh out of nervousity or feeling uncomfortable! Even one of them didn't look at her when she took her shirt off. They just were trying to be polite and laugh it off!

[Wass_PL]

Yes but men do that too. If those boys report such actions by her, she will have action taken against her.

I'm sure you would take action if harassed too.

[hellionthesagereborn]

I don't think it is more common for women to be harassed at all, I think is about the same the problem is as you have noted women get away with it so men don't report it (I've heard women telling guys they have a nice ass among other things). Otherwise yes, their is a double standard.

[FatherJack]

" If a man took off his trousers and stood in front of a group of girls he would have gotten in trouble and would even get fired! " ... Add to that immediately arrested / charged and likely jail time too. The #MeToo movement was originally for awareness of various sex crimes , which is needed , but has been hijacked by the man hating feminist mafia , and turned into an anti-male " ALL MALES ARE RAPISTS " movement.

[BOUNTYGUY9]

goverments rape the earth

[Kiran04]

Because we, as a society, like to pretend that women, especially pretty women, can do no wrong. Never mind certain women throughout history have brought down entire nations with a few stupid decisions. Guess we didn't learn from all those ancient tales.

[Sidewinder203]

Sexual harassment by women against men is way more prevalent than most people believe. The thing is though that guys can’t just tell their boss or HR that they were harassed because society looks down on them and the women wouod get off with a warning at best. This needs to change!!!

[Losalt]

Thanks, it's disheartening to see how many male issues out there keeps getting ignored all the time...
So a post like his is quite refreshing.

[Anonymous]

I agree that some females can also be very straightforward and nasty. At some points, I think it's linked to the myth that any man would welcome such invitations (perpetuated by many males themselves), so those females must think they're being very open and just having fun.

Anyway, I think in that situation it was more show business than sexual harassment per se, though that could be debatable.