Breaking the Wheel

[R_Cakes91]

Referring to a post recently added today, a fellow GaG guy brought up an issue on here that many struggle with which is the vicious cycle of making stereotypes of the opposite gender to justify a bad experience. A guy dates a woman who wants his money, and he's been hurt, now suddenly in his mind, all women want money. This might be true to some extent but he doesn't know why she cares about his money. He simply doesn't understand women. A woman dates a man who lies for sex, now they are all pigs. It's an endless cycle of dating people who want entirely different things and not being able to tell the difference. Or as my fellow GaG guy said "fishing for turkeys."

My question though, is why are we all falling for same thing over and over again? Its simple, right? Just don't date people like that. No, its not so simple. When someone hurts you in a relationship, something shuts off like a switch. Suddenly, we end up doing the same thing to someone else, kinda like psychological justice for ourselves. Not everyone does this, of course.

The bitterness on GaG is legendary (or at least in my mind), especially among the male demographic. Partially because the male/ female ratio is unbalanced, otherwise, I'm sure female bitterness would be better represented. I understand and have been bitter/ full of rage towards several men before, but I also understand that letting yourself give into believing those stereotypes gives victory to the person who has hurt you. Why don't we humans just realize this and be better than that? In other words, break the wheel? Are we intelligent enough to do this? Is it a depression issue? Some of us are which I would refer to as "woke."

Then I realize, we ARE human. Full of emotions. We express our emotions differently than those of the opposite sex, or at least, most of the time. We also want different things from each other for different reasons. We simply don't understand each other. There is a reason we learned "men are from mars, women are from Venus" when we were in grade school. Its actually not too far from the truth. I wish I could say that I fully understand men but I never will. That goes to say that the name calling, accusing all men/ women of one thing or another is kind of redundant.

I will conclude with this little tidbit:

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.
- Albert Einstein

[A-man-22]

It falls to each individual of both genders to break the cycle.

You can't command all unfair women to treat men fairly and you can't command all unfaithful men be faithful.

Each individual has to be the change the opposite gender wants see in the world.

If a man wants to break the cycle, he has to be the break from the others perspective.
Women want men to be more faithful then all he can do is be faithful himself.

If a woman wants to break the cycle, she has to be the break from the other perspective.
Men want more fairness between genders then all she can do is change herself to be fairer, even if that means giving up some of her privileges.

Changing others is difficult, sometimes impossible.
You can yell at them all you want but they won't change.
Changing yourself is easy.

[R_Cakes91]

I’ve completely changed myself. I don’t even mix with men who assume I’m a trollop who wants their money. That’s not who I am and I don’t even talk to people who think that way about women. I live on the west coast, easy to avoid

[Syrian_survivor]

Personally I don't it's that hard to understand both genders, I've always been able to know what my exes and my current girlfriend wanted, and I've changed myself for the better in ways they found really attractive while also keeping my normal cringy loving self, it all goes smoothly, amd when a girl snaps then it's obvious she just snapped, I'm the kinda guy who will insist on you to tell him what's wrong because I can easily see through your way of talking that something is wrong, and it doesn't really take much effort, just some general qualities like kindness, respect, self-worth, and the will to improve as a person 🤷

[R_Cakes91]

You’re awesome 😊

[Syrian_survivor]

Oh why thank you hun 😊❤

[CandacePerry]

Not many people do not respect other people's.

[Goodwifie]

I will never understand why people choose to hate the opposite sex due to a few bad experiences, this is coming from a person who has had more than my fair share of horrible things done to me.
Sure I was hurt terribly and it made me more wary but I also learnt from each of those experiences, it made me more resilient instead of hating.

[GD360]

Because it's easier not to deal with it. They hate the person that hurt them by hating the opposite gender

[Goodwifie]

@GD360 I had an ex boyfriend threaten to kill me on the night when I told him that I was leaving him. A few weeks after he sent me text telling me that he was going to get his mates to beat me up. That wasn’t the end of it either so I changed my mobile number and email address to finally put a stop to it but then he started sending me letters.
I don’t hate you or any other man, I only hate him.

[GD360]

Everyone responds differently to pain. That's why hot physiologist to help.

[GD360]

On that note I hope you stay safe

[Goodwifie]

@GD360 he is far far away from me now.
If I did come face to face with him again I’d do my best to beat the shit out of him because I’m no longer afraid.

[CoffeeWC]

To fully understand one gender, you need to lose your understanding of the other.

[PrudentGuy]

It takes courage to break the wheel.

The fundamental of depression or bitterness or stereotyping (whatever you call it) is the inability to let go, or medically (spiritually) cannot forgive.

And in my opinion, it takes a lot of courage to forgive.

For it means letting go of vengeance, choosing a territory of being in the "wrong" although we know very well it is the other who hurt us.

So my personal opinion is, to break the wheel, forgive and let go. After that the process will start and we start all over again.

[AynonOMouse]

I don't hate a whole gender for the actions of many (but not all) of them. But I do point out when some of them have immoral/messed up behavior and think it is fine. I do the same towards my own gender too.
I just can't be accepting of immoral behavior regardless of gender.

[EmperorOfRussia]

I pretty much agree with you, it's really stupid when people decide to blame an entire group of people (gender, in this case) for the ill nature of an individual.

Point is: they do it because they are powerless in life. My advice to people:
Go full vindictive on people who have been hurting you, destroy their reputation, leave them full of debts (works nicely with gold-diggers), be a stalker... It will not make you feel any better in the short-term, but surely will prevent you from being embittered later. By doing this, you will stop feeling powerless, you will not grow embittered, you will not see yourself as a helpless victim because you gave a necessary lesson to these individuals who had hurt you, and maybe - after doing this - the other person could reflect on life and come to the conclusion that there's no point in being toxic and using people as tools to get what they want. This is "breaking the wheel" on a pro level.

[juliaanita]

What an insightful article! I have no answers, as you didn't ask a question-but i am in agreement with your thesis. Ill never understand how the male mind works either, but wouldn't it be nice if all of us- men and women-could learn not to stereotype a whole gender because of a bad experience with one individual?

[Nik1hil]

conclude with this little tidbit:

"Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed."

-Albert Einstein

I do not think Albert really said that.. 🤣🤣🤔

[R_Cakes91]

This quote was ascribed to him a while ago. No one knows for sure but it’s what people say, including Forbes magazine back in the 80s. He probably didn’t say it but he’s the only name that was attached.

[Anonymous]

My stereotype is that 99.9% of people in general are garbage. Self-centered, manipulative, opportunistic, self-destructive sacks of manure who are barely above the classification of animals.

"Stop dating that kind of women". I've heard this one a million times. But I've dated all different kinds of women with different goals and ambitions from different backgrounds who have different careers. I haven't found one yet who isn't "that kind of woman".

[nerms123]

Same. But then I also think I’m the common denominator too so 🤷‍♀️

[ThisAndThat]

Like millions of men I freed myself from the misandry gynocentric system and society only I did it long before most men today. I went MGTOW monk 32 years ago and never looked back I haven't touched anyone nor intend on it. In the age of Me Too with all the false accusations against men more and more men will continue going MGTOW. Feminism aka Marxism and its propaganda against men has ruined the west.

[CandacePerry]

I only dislike like my Cheater ex bfs. Some people just want to blame on men /woman not learn from they're mistake.

[Cuppo_Mode]

How to break a cycle? Well to break the cycle you fast forward another cycle, the cycle of life, get s gun and shoot the bun, and then you're pretty much dun, son.

[Swat_]

On behalf of the slightly more normal guys I'd like to apologise for our genders' behaviour on this website. Maybe the internet isn't the best place for this stuff.

[Shamalien]

I think there are an increasing number of guys that aren't just put off by their past experiences with women, they also just talk to women they aren't dating and see where their heads are at, and become sad.

[nerms123]

Women and men both suck. But we’ve got to make the best of it 🤷‍♀️

[valentine74]

Well written I really like the way you put 2ords to me revaluation that I was thinking about today thanks for that

[TonyMetal_86]

Women aren't from venus, they are from kitchens and men are from the outside world 😄

[Anonymous]

what if there is an undesirable trait that all members of the opposite gender possess? at least all the ones that you know. that wouldn't be generalization anymore

[R_Cakes91]

Can I ask what the trait is you’re referring to?

[Opinion Owner]

like jealousy, pettiness, deceitfulness. i've observed at least these three in all the women that i know

[R_Cakes91]

Where are you meeting these women? Also, I could say just as much about men but I don’t because I know it’s not true.
I assure you, this isn’t true in all women, to say that would be silly. I know some women who are incredible people who don’t play games. I certainly don’t play games. In my experience, the women who do this are usually the ones in relationships because to some degree, the guy enjoyed chasing them but the game didn’t end when they got into a relationship, she kept playing with him.
If you can find a laid back, low key woman then you won’t see those traits.

[clonesclone]

The "negative" opinions about women that you're whining about are all factual and statistically verifiable.

[incelposting]

Being cynical and wary of female behaviour is the only way to survive.

Give them an inch and they will quickly reveal themselves to be the narcissistic, sadistic, emotional, childish and sociopathic beings all of them arel

[R_Cakes91]

It’s human nature to be afraid of what they don’t understand