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Men Need to Do Self Care More Often (Page 2)
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That is a very female oriented list. Most guys would not get much enjoyment or value from most of the things you listed. Men deal with shit in different but equally effective (for us) ways. We take care of ourselves in ways you probably wouldn't understand. I could give you a list, but I suspect you would not get any more value out of my list than I would from yours.
I know your intentions are good, just a little misguided.
I've done about 2/3 of those, only maybe half of that helps. Some of them is like shooting myself in the foot.
I feel it's more so about being positive and confident, and so many men get shut down these days so they just give up on life. Granted they were never given the help in the first place so they're trekking through life lost as hell, I can see that on these forums. Not to mention throw society standards in the mix and a large chunk of the male population isn't gonna go outside now.
I agree, men need to start looking out for ourselves and focus on ourselves and our own happiness and not what the liberal media and society tells us to do.
What about the conservative media?
The conservative media is not going around trashing men daily. They encourage men to be men and to be confident. I appreciate that in a time when the mainstream media calls men toxic everyday and shames men like me for simply being a man. I see it everyday on my campus.
All in my opinion of course, but I do agree with your original statement and a few of your suggestions
I don't have time for any self care aside from shit, shower, shave, teeth, nails and hair cuts. You want me to look and feel better? Get a second job, pay more of the bills, and I'll go to the gym and get a back rub. Otherwise stop complaining about my looks when I'm trying to make ends meet.
I work 12 hour shifts and still do yoga for a half hour everyday. People make time for the things that are a priority.
Exactly my point. It's not a priority. I also work 12 hour shifts, 6 days a week. I have to sleep 8 hours, plus it takes me about 2 hours to and from work one way. So what time do you think I have? Like I said. Get a second job. Take over more of the bills and I'll be happy to hit the gym and get a back rub.
No one is bitching about your looks.
People weren't born to pay bills and die. If you were to die, I guarantee your boss wouldn't attend your funeral but would be looking for a person to fill you.
Exactly. I know they wouldn't. You're still missing the point. All you have to do is some simple addition. I work 12 hours, I sleep 8 hours, I take the bus to and from work, riding the bus one way is about 2 hours. 12+8+2+2=24 how many hours are in a day? I literally don't have time! Like I said. If you want me to have more time for myself, someone needs to take over more of the bills so I can work less. I would love to hit the gym and get a back rub. I am long over due. I can't because I don't have time.
Like I said before, people make time for what matters to them. My dad works 16 hour shifts. He still has to do yoga and spend time with my mom.
Yeah but how many days a week? Unless he has insomnia, there's no way that he can function working 16 hours a day 5 or 6 days a week. I'm also assuming that he drives, and doesn't have to spend 2 hours one way on public transportation.
Look at the facts, look at the medical statistics, do the math. I love how you stated that your dad works 16 hours but didn't bother to mention if it was 16 hour a week, day, month, and if it is a day how many days a week. I literally gave you my entire schedule. I put it in number so that way you can understand. I even did the math for you. And you're still going to come back and tell me that it's because I don't feel like it... You have to deplorable deductive reasoning skills.
5-6 days a week. No he doesn't because he has a car. Public transportation isn't good here anyways.
I didn't think I needed. Apologies. I overestimated your intelligence.
Underestimated is more like it. You still didn't provide travel time to and from work. Plus you still fail to understand that there are only 24 hours in a day. Maybe I should be apologizing to you.
I didn't ask for your work schedule because I don't give a shit. I don't give you updates on mine and everyone in my life. If you want to work yourself to death, fine.
If you don't care then why do you keep replying? Once again you miss the point. It's not that I want to, it's that I have to. I'm the only one with a job, I have to provide, and I have to pay bills. I'm not going to choose to become homeless so I can meditate.
Free entertainment is why I reply.
Aw so your trolling. That makes more sense.
It would probably be a good idea, but so many of things men do come down to whether or not we think that it will improve our chances with women. Since so many women don't seem to care about whether or not we do anything beyond basic hygiene and health maintenance; it's tough to justify spending more of our paycheck on pampering.
Self care is definitely important for both genders, and looking at the other comments I don't think they see the SELF in the word, what you consider self care is entirely up to you, it can be the suggestions she've made or it can be a cold one with the bois! (insert other manly things here)
What you do to make yourself feel better is self care, so its subjective.
"Honestly in my experience, when a man is doing anything considered feminine it's another man that makes him feel bad."
I don't share your experience. Many women out there will either rag on a guy, deride a guy or simply not give a guy the time of day if he is not sufficiently masculine. Men with "girly" tendencies are outside consideration for dating by many women.
Absolutely correct. Most women HATE when a man shows any kind of weakness or vulnerability.
@KrakenAttackin Exactly. Anyone who says patriarchal roles are being perpetuated exclusively by men should not be taken seriously at all.
Exactly, the hand the rocks the cradle rules the world.
well all those things might help a bit but have you ever thought about that live for men just sucks more and that's why they're more likely to be suicidal? social pressure on men is huge. you don't get rid of it by doing some recreational stuff. even therapy can only help you so far.
There's a tremendous amount of things that go into male suicide
yeah i just feel like a bit of recreational stuff isn't enough to fix that xD
And we will discuss... none of them.
So who are you, and what are your qualifications and degrees to decide that men need this? Why should I listen or give a sht what you think? I can't come up with a good reason, and one of the things that many guys hate, is women that decide they need to 'fix' men who don't need fixing!
I think it is offensive and presumptuous on your part just to talk about some misinterpreted suicide statistics and then present this as if you are doing a favor to men, trying to manipulate and change them into something that maybe you prefer. Not to mention the assumption that men are in some way like women, and 'reaching out and talking to people' works for them, like women. Men are very different, and most of us are just fine in our own relationships with our male friends, and don't need a woman telling us to be more like a woman to be something we are not, nor want to be.
Another typical don't tell me what to do response
What were you expecting?
"trying to manipulate and change them" Yes how awful, being to go for a hike, make a nice meal for yourself and take a deep breath.
"telling us to be more like a woman " Most of these are not gender specific even if you think men shouldn't do beauty treatments. She just wanted be like hey men think the whole idea of doing self care is just for women when it's clearly not, you already might do some of these things and yes they count as self care
*being told to
@Remaining See this? She's a little over three decades younger and she got the idea of the my take.
@1truekhaleesi So, being Khaleesi, simple responses from like minds are what you prefer? A TRUE Khaleesi, a LEADER, would listen to all opinions, and never openly mock, any!
At your age, how much do you really know? How much life experience? I never bring this in to conversations, but since you proposed the 'AGE' thing, do you really think you know, and understand as much about life, and living, as someone twice your age, with all those years of experience?
I accept it, and smile, knowing, having been there, but NEVER so arrogant as to call myself Khaleesi when posting this nonsense.
Why do people resort to this as an argument? I never pointed out your age, but you pointed out mine
@JackSmy Maybe she was expecting you to not be so defensive, listen to her point of view, and try to be reasonable and if you didn't like what she had to say then just don't respond and go do something else, but that's just me. Oh and that probably comes off as me telling you what to do and not reasonable advice, my sincere apologies.
@mattl338 Give it a couple decades, dude, and let's talk about how your perspective has changed. . .
@Remaining He does bring up some larger points about women preach to men, essentially telling them to be "more like women" (which women absolutely despise in a man).
Also, the biggest stressor in a man's life is usually a woman.
@KrakenAttackin Thanks for understanding what I meant, even if I said it badly!
My age has nothing to do with this. I'm giving you genuine advice that helps me so that it doesn't create both indirect and direct issues. You're choice if you'd rather pay attention to my age than my advice. My advice is simply not jumping the gun and actually listening rather than shooting someone down and not asking why they think the way they do, I've done it before and it offers more room for calm discussion.
by the way I meant Your* when I said "You're choice...", my phone autocorrects, my apologies. XD
You might as well tell men to wear their favorite dress too. Nowhere in your list does it state any manly activities and no I'm not being sarcastic.
1. Go to the range
2. Go driving
3. Go out for a beer/drink
4. Guys night out
5. Go lift weights
Etc..
Feel free to do yoga and all the rest, but be real now. Go shopping? Are you trying to doll up men? Lol
You don't go shopping for clothes you like? Does your mom still do that?
A female telling men to go shopping for clothes lol
You might as well tell men to buy makeup as well.
You act like men never go shopping for clothes, or make coffee, or read.
All your list is doing is making men more feminine. We have our own activities for "self-care". Try going to the range. It's much better than doing yoga or going "shopping!" lol
My dad does yoga. If you want to wear makeup feel free. A lot of women agree that men need to be more open about their feelings. People are just defensive about showing how manly they are I guess
Completely agree with this
Amazon is for clothes.
"A lot of women agree that men need to be more open about their feelings"
BS. Women absolutely hate men who show any kind of weakness. Be serious for a minute, how would you deal with a boyfriend who talked about being afraid of confronting something or someone? You would be disgusted.
@KrakenAttackin don't put words in my word. I always mean exactly what I say.
Self-care is an idiotic concept that has only sprung up because the modern world is obsessively individualistic.
If people actually interacted with each other (offline), they might care for each other instead of inventing stupid concepts like "self-care" and blogging about how they're giving themselves a back rub.
We've survived as a society for centuries without obnoxious amounts of self indulgence like this. I think we can continue to survive without it. Men need exercise, friends, and mental stimulation, but that's it. Self advancement is much more useful than self care. Make yourself stronger, smarter, more knowledgeable, and richer, not spoiled.
Hey just wanted to say that I'm glad you posted this it's a very important topic to be aware of so thank you :)
i agree that men need to do self care but the things you listed only work on women and are not suitable for men. if a man does all those things the only result would be him not even feeling like a man anymore
Yessss, this is so so soooo important. I'm so happy you wrote it.
I hear girls say
"Guys need to be more sensitive and open."
Then I hear girls say
"What happened to men, none of them are manly anymore."
Damned if we do, damned if we dont
You can't please everybody. A lot of the other woman who shared opinions agreed though
Just gotta be yourself man. Either way you’ll get haters.
We do do some of those things. Though I think that people may be wrong to say that alcohol is never the answer to a person's problems.
Thank you. I do know males that do some of the things on the list. My dad does yoga. I have several guy friends who verbalize their feelings, workout for stress relief, and aren't afraid to ask for help. I get that some people deal with things differently and those things may not be on the list at all. Suicide for males has many, many contributing factors. I know a lot of people that need to put themselves first more often.
I agree with what you're saying about alcohol. I'm clinically depressed and I drank alcohol when I was having issues. I do like to hang out with my friends for stress relief but they don't pressure me to drink.
Great take, it's nice to hear some compassion towards men in this world full of hate. Seeing a woman caring about us instead of blaming us for every problem in this world is nice and refreshing. Agains, thank you for all of this!
Very, very well said. Male suicide is epidemic and yet very little attention is paid to this. Many men literally work themselves to death to support their families, which is expected.
As someone who just got divorced (a blessing) I have just started to be more interested in "self-care", including finally working to manage my crazy blood pressure and mental health, both of which will allow me to be a better father and live a happier life.
Fitness, healthy human being always remain happy and away from the hospitals.
It is advisable to have little workout daily at least 15min a day.
- walking or swimming or cycling, etc...