Weather you like it or not, the friend zone does exist. Guys that you talk about who call women bitches for friendzoning them, are obviously entitled assholes, but even with that said, it still objectively exists. I've been friendzoned once, it obviously wasn't great and the girl was deceiving, but I take full responsibility for getting in that position, and I cut contact with the girl in question. Guys that blame the girl for being friendzoned are stupid, you can check out my take on it if you want.
i completely agree about guys who have ulterior motives behind wanting to befriend a girl being scumbags because that is manipulitive. but for some (like me) i need to befriend a girl to get to know her and get comfortable around her before i show any sexual or romantic interest. i'm too shy like that. i don't get mad if the girl doesn't feel the same, it's not like she could read my mind so i can't tell her how i feel and expect her to feel the same that's just unfair. and if the girl doesn't like me back, then i can continue being friends with her, it's not her fault i developed feelings for her, she signed up for a friendship. but guys who become best friends with a girl and expect sex in return are scumbags, and there is actually a name for these kinds of people: meninists.
Lol i've heard of these meninists. But I know what you mean and I didn't mean what you mentioned because that's just how relationships start. The only problem is when the feelings develop in one person and he flips out when things don't go his way
Considering males are generally expected to be the ones making approaches to females would it not be reasonable to think men are copping the brunt of most rejections in the dating game. Would it then not be reasonable to think that men would then harbor the most angst in the dating game and this is why it seem men are the only ones that complain? Everyone has to let off steam in their life and guess what, males need to let off their rejection steam. If you don't like that then please get the feminist movement to make equality in the dating game with regards to who is 'expected' to make the first move.
Very true. I always say I rather hear people complain about it than let it get out of hand and start committing act (s) of violence. But sometimes men bring the friend zone on themselves.
This post is mostly garbage you're just too immature to realize it yet. If the most important thing to you in a relationship is attraction you're probably gonna get burned or you may have already.
Now, while you're partly correct that many fenales share that mentality (mostly young and inexperienced ones). It is not a wise one to maintain. Your priority should be on the quality of a person's character not their physical attributes.
Fortunately the whole "you don't owe him anything" mentality has been contained to women in their low twenties and below. I haven't quite figured out how to debunk that nonsense yet but I'm working on it.
Lastly, no. It is VERY possible that a person could be more academically or professionally qualified than they are given credit for and their instructor or employer didn't recognize it. It happens all the time. For instance, Yahoo had the chance to buy Google's search algorithm and passed on the chance. Now Google is WAY bigger than Yahoo. There is a strong chance that guy could have been good for her but she was too much of a moron to see it or she didn't deserve him.
attraction IS the primary focus of a relationship wtf are you on about? if there's no physical/mental attraction what the fuck are you in it for? and why did you bring up so many irrelevant things?
@sandyyy_ First off, no. The goal of a relationship is an opinion and FOR SURE not everyone agrees with that nonsense. People get into marriages often times for companionship and that's why they have wedding vows that include things like loyalty and honesty. I didn't say there should be no attraction. You should learn to read better. I said it should not be the primary focus because it shouldn't. So I say again, learn. to. read.
P. S. it's all relevant to this idiocy, "So next time you get "friendzoned" think long and hard about it. Did you get friendzoned or is it just the typical rejection that occurs in the lives of every human? I don't say I've been grade-zoned when my teacher denies me a good grade. You don't say job-zoned when your manager denies you a promotion. So why would your ego be so fragile and weak that you coin a term for being rejected in order to demonize a girl?"
I agree completely. Guys sound SO whiny obsessing over this friendzone BS. The friendzone is a choice: these guys are choosing to sit around, wallow, and feel sorry for themselves because a girl they want does not want them back in that way. If you don’t like the friendzone then suck it up and get over it instead of obsessing over a female who is not attracted to you in that way.
I agree that the friendzone thing is overdone, but there are guys who are led on to believe that a girl likes them because of ambiguous answers she gives. Most guys want a definitive "yes" or "no." If he continues to stick around, thinking that he'll be enough of a friend that she'll become attracted to him, then the problem is his.
The friendzone is just that position of uncertainty. I actually hear it usually used on the internet in a derogatory way toward men, although I can believe it's used to demonize women sometimes. I hear girls use the term, too, when a guy makes like he is attracted to her, but never asks her out. That isn't something I approve of either.
If she doesn't give you an answer then just realize that she's playing games and leave. In the end, he's the fool for giving her all the attention when he knows she's probably not intending to be in a relationship with him. And it's funny you say it's used in a derogatory way toward men when I usually see guys complaining about it. And I do agree that girls do it too but image search friendzone on google and tell me which sex you think mentions it more.
It takes time to figure out that a girl really, truly isn't interested if she isn't giving clear answers or is using words or behaviors that suggest she likes him. It can takes weeks, especially if the two people have busy schedules and can't talk often.
Those however-many weeks are the friend zone. Between him feeling terribly unsure for a week or two about her, and her saying either "Yes, I like you," or "No, you're not my type (etc.)," which do you honestly think is easier?
And it may be used mostly by men toward women, but it isn't something inherently victimizing women, in theory or in practice. Women can be friend zoned, and I don't hate them for feeling bummed out that a guy never made any clear answer. I understand, tell them there are plenty of guys out there.
This is perfect. I understand they want to do everything for a girl when they like them but the girl never asks for it and it's the guy who's given up a lot for them, so they shouldn't feel entitled to get a date or a relationship! Of course a girl will want to hang out with someone so nice but if the attraction's not there, then it's not her fault and it shouldn't be made out that way. It definitely shouldn't make the guy bitter, assuming girls only use guys for their money etc. Maybe they shouldn't give things up so freely!
"If you become friends with a girl in the hopes of getting a reward in the future, you really aren't a good friend at all." Great point.
yes but the girl is abusing the guys weakness (usually guys who feel friendzoned are really inscure) by making him think that he has a chance by not saying she isn't interested despite knowing that he is
Frankly, I think the fact that you went so far as to assume that all guys who complain about the friendzone have Male Entitlement, completely invalidates your entire article.
Do you want to know why guys complain about the friendzone? 1. They want a hot girlfriend and haven't managed to get one yet, 2. They got rejected. 3. It happens regularly.
Now wouldn't you be pissed? Never mind the fact that you've also just decided to say that all men who complain about the friendzone just want sex? More than a little ignorant?
I didn't say all guys, I don't know where you get that from. And those three reasons you listed apply to girls too and they don't bring up being "friendzoned" nearly as much as guys. And I never even mentioned sex, I said reward, which could be anything. The quote I added happened to use sex as an example but it would still apply if you replaced the word sex with a relationship.
How would I know? And so what, is rejection such a bad thing? You get rejected in all aspects of your life. And if you try to gell me men get rejected more, it's probably because girls don't whine about being in the friendzone so you don't hear about them getting rejected.
A man can knock up 5 women in a day, a women can only get knocked up once in 9 months, so you only need a small amount of men to knock up all the women, this makes men more sexually driven and women more selective. With this men are attracted to a large amount of women while women are attracted to a small amount of men. Our drive to fuck you is far bigger than our want of friendship, in fact 90% of the time a guy even tries to be friends with you he wants to fuck you. You aren't special besides your parts biologically speaking, men hardly care about friendship from a women. Like Chris Rock said "any time a man has ever been nice to you all he is doing is offering you some dick... that's all he is doing".
-_- yea friend zone sucks. But its not all the guy's fault though. Lots of times girls send mixed signals. They're better then guys at hiding who they like, and still acting normal around that person. And technically what gets the guy mad at times isn't that he's in the friend zone, but the girl he's best friends with is dating a guy, who is clearly a complete prick -__-, or a guy she's always fighting with. And then she says "i wish i could find a guy just like you." -_- yea im a guy that's just like me. See that statement right there doesn't help anybody... it just complicates things for guys, who then get confused.
Okay since a lot of guys have this "problem" im gonna explain it to you. If a girl wants a guy like you but she doesn't want you, she wants something that you have to offer, not you. I've said that to a guy before and it's because he was creative, but other than that he was an asshole so I didn't want him specifically. And your definition of a good guy isn't her definition of a good guy. So it's not your job to show her what a good guy is; she'll break up with the "bad" guy on her own if she realizes he's bad. And with the mixed signals thing, everyone does that. It's up to you to ask her for a straight up answer about how she feels about you. It's not that hard.
Mixed signals isn't up to anyone. Most people that are being flirted with just let the situation ride out (to see where it goes). It isn't fair to send mixed signals. And you can't be calling everyone out that might be a "little too friendly" at times, -_- because that is just really awkward. No guy wants to be in a situation (or girl for that matter) where they are in love with a girl and she doesn't feel the same way. -_- and yea it is hard. Your put in a situation where for some reason admitting feelings means "we can't be friends" or my favorite "ill hang out with you less." Its like wait what? Its easier for girls than it is for guys. Women will do the whole avoiding thing.
Let the situation ride out for like 3 years and get mad that she doesn't know your intentions? There's letting things ride out and then there's not telling her anything and expecting her to know. And everyone sends mixed signals, so that point is weak. And if someone stops being your friend because they found out you have a crush on them, move on cause that wasn't a strong friendship. Or maybe they need space, knowing you have feelings for them and they don't know how to act. Either way, if you don't make it seem awkward and you're not crossing any borders after confessing your feelings, there should be no problems.
Look there is a difference between the guy in the friendzone that wants to hit it, and the guy in the friendzone that, not necessarily wants to hit it, but wants the girl to love him like he loves her. And yea sometimes you have to let it ride out, and no not for 3 years lol, thats just stupid.
The problem is that your only seeing Lisa from one side. What if Lisa in some other story was leading the guy, sending him mixed signals and flirting with him daily. What if Lisa was doing all that and in the end says to the guy "oh its just my personality" -_- which many women do.
And that's why I said to ask for a clear answer. Your replies are so specific, I'm not replying anymore cause this sounds like a personal issue of yours
well that's fair enough. ^^ and not its not a personal issue. What it is, is a situation that so many guys and even girls go through. And its much more complicated
"You were nice to her, you bought her things, you treat her better than other guys. But the most important aspect of a relationship is attraction, be it physical or emotional. If Lisa is not attracted to you, she's just not attracted to you. She may be attracted to you as a friend but if she doesn't want to be with you romantically, she's not the devil. She did nothing wrong."
I agree, the guys are the idiots trying to suck up to the girls with no real interest in them. They should have been frank from the beginning, if rejected then stop wasting resources in a no go girl and spend it on those girls worth the attention.
Of course if she is worth being friend with, then just be friends and enjoy the friendship instead of complaining about the lack of romance.
I agree with most of what you're getting at. However, these kinds of anti-friend-zone posts frequently ignore the difference between 1) a guy who actually believes women are a vending machine (put in niceness, get out sex); and 2) a guy who is friends with a woman, develops a strong attraction to her, tells her about it, gets rejected, and then is in too much emotional pain to spend more time with the woman. Unfortunately in either case, too often the woman assumes that the man is just "entitled," and that all he wanted was sex, without considering that maybe he actually wanted a relationship but now is in too much emotional pain for it to be healthy to continuing being friends at least for the time being.
I agree. I've done what you explained up there, being there for her, tell her she's beautiful... and I've gotten girls to like me and others to not like me. It's life, she's not obliged to like you emotionally. She may think you're a great friend, but not what she's looking for in a partner. But, I think the term friendzone comes from the reason the girls put. Some girls just tell you "oh, I don't wanna lose you as a friend" or "you're too nice". She never says she just don't like you as a boyfriend, an that's why guys use this term, because it is never said that she doesn't like you as a possible partner, and that she never wants to lose you as a friend. But yeah, I agree that many guys just act like a good guy in order to get something in return, which is not exactly how a good guy should act.
Girls are attracted to jerks and players who break their hearts and reject the guys who are willing to do anything to keep the smile on their faces
For girls: When your boyfriend is ignoring you, another guy is giving you attention While your boyfriend is gicing you problems, another guy is listening While your boyfriend is too busy for you, another guy is making time for you While your boyfriend is making you cry, another guy is trying to make you smile When your boyfriend is not sure he still wants you, another guy has alreadu figured it out
I think guys that guilt-trip the girl that friend-zoned are immature and entitled jerks. However, I don't think there scumbags. It's normal to feel heartbreak and sad. Some people express their emotions differently. I think the problem is they lack emotional maturity. They should understand that it's just a friendship and find someone else that likes them, instead of trying to force her or blame her. They should accept responsibility of their decision to remain friends and still having emotions. If they can't handle being friends with her, then he should stop being friends because it's too painful for him. If it isn't a problem for him and he can move on, then he should remain friends. It's not that hard. I actually find guys that get friend-zoned lucky because someone actually desires their friendship.
I never have been friend zoned and its pretty awesome. This is mostly because I dont really get along with the majority of women. And I never really got why men dont get it, I want them to imagine a scenario where a girl they are unattracted to is really good to them and the feelings arnt reciprocated. It is 100% attraction in dating. Another thing i have noticed that adds to this point is that if a girl likes u u can really do no wrong. Like I can show up late to things, do dumb stuff, and she still likes me.
Yeah all true. But, having female friends might help find you someone who might end up liking you. You know being the Trojan Horse lol. Plus friends are friends, can't have enough of them. But, yes you can do wrong if a girl really likes you. One, would be if a girl misunderstands your intentions (which happens a lot) and doesn't think you like her back or thinks your rejecting her when your not. They don't want to get hurt so get scared and forget that they ever liked you. I really don't know why people can't just talk and communicate if there is a misunderstanding.
Second, if her "attraction" for you is based on you not liking her back or being vague or mysterious about how you feel back. Many girls want "what they can't have". And don't want what they can. So, the moment you reciprocate or make her realize you feel the same back, attraction dies and you stop hearing from her less. I've never understood this. So being late and doing dumb stuff is keeping her attraction in this case
"Lets just be friends" ==> this is why it is called the friend zone. I don't get why so many girls get worked up on this issue. Sometime, a friend might be not initially attracted to you, and you might be not his type. However, as time goes buy, this friends starts having raging emotions and sudden attraction. Reasons behind that could vary from intense familiarity to wrong attribution of the reasons behind a physiological reaction.
What annoys me is that when some girls break up with guys or when they have been flirting with a guy or when you are at the end of a date they say "I really need a friend right now." I mean, are they stupid? It's fine to break up with a guy, its fine to say you're not interested at the end of a date, its fine to say I don't want this to go any further after flirting, most of us can take rejection. But I mean seriously you try to become friends with someone who is attracted to you? That is a terrible idea. It's torturous and cruel to guys. Why would you want to put a guy through that.
The friendzone you're talking about is after different circumstances. The guy develops feeling for a friend girl. In that situation you're right, its the guys problem not yours. But the friendzone I described is one of cruelty. And that is why we demonize girls who do that
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So you are explaining what the friend zone is but then get annoyed and says it doesn't exist? It's a word and its a definition of what you just said. I don't see why girls are getting so worked up when a guy says, "I've been friend zoned!" You don't know how the poor guy feels. Yes it is inriciprocates feelings but the name friend zone is just a definition of more than into privates feelings. It's also a disappointment because the guy was so completely sure *or so he thought* that there was a feeling. And when a guy expresses it in here and you girls act all bratty on the Internet writing memes thinking you are all intelligent like, "Friend zone doesn't exist. It's just inriciprocates feelings which means.. GET OVER IT!!" It just means you're childish or just as childish if one guy actually is getting bent out of shape bout it
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*unreciprocated feelings not "More into private feelings" Damn you AUTO CORRECT!
I have never been in a situation she describes up there, but I know the feeling of being rejected, so trust me i know how hard it's. But it doesn't give you the right to "force" her being with you. Yes, there is a girl you like and you have been friends for a long time, but she reject you when you try to make love with her. But that doesn't mean she is a bad girl or anything like that. She isn't into you and you have to accept it! I truly know it's can be very hard, but that's the truth and you have to move forward. I wouldn't be pissed of any girl just because they doesn't like me the way I like them. That's just ridiculous. ^^
Dude many girls know what the poor guy feels like cause we've been there as well. If you think it's only guys who go through situations like that then yeah.. you're gonna have a bad time. But yet you don't hear me as a female moaning about how a guy "friend zoned" me when I have gotten rejected. In fact, I've gotten rejected many times now, including by a good guy friend of mine a few years back. However I realized that no one has to like me or is under any obligation to like me. Did it make the pain less? Absolutely not. But instead of acting like I was "too nice" for them or moaning about how they placed me in some kind of friend zone, I took it as something else which is called rejection. Not any of this "zone" bullshit.
Getting out of the friend zone isn't about forcing. It is about giving the person you friended space. If one person meant to be romantic with the other but played it wrong and it wasn't what they intended then why would they stick around pretending to be a friend when that isn't what they intended to begin with? And if they did stick around when they have romantic feelings then it would just hurt them especially when they have to see someone they love fall in love with someone else. I'm not saying that you shouldn't be friends with the opposite sex if you both are absolutely clear and know that there will never be anything romantic between you two but if you wait and do something that isn't genuine then you are lying and you aren't their friend. Also giving someone space can also let you heal, they can realize maybe there is something there that they didn't see or maybe it was really just a big crush. Friend zone shouldn't be offensive to people.
If people hate the name for it so much then change the name for it and make it stick. Then also make it clear exactly what the new name is instead of making millions of topics about how it isn't real when all it is is everyone misinterpreting it as something sexist
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Weather you like it or not, the friend zone does exist. Guys that you talk about who call women bitches for friendzoning them, are obviously entitled assholes, but even with that said, it still objectively exists. I've been friendzoned once, it obviously wasn't great and the girl was deceiving, but I take full responsibility for getting in that position, and I cut contact with the girl in question. Guys that blame the girl for being friendzoned are stupid, you can check out my take on it if you want.
I don't agree with your take but okay
i completely agree about guys who have ulterior motives behind wanting to befriend a girl being scumbags because that is manipulitive. but for some (like me) i need to befriend a girl to get to know her and get comfortable around her before i show any sexual or romantic interest. i'm too shy like that. i don't get mad if the girl doesn't feel the same, it's not like she could read my mind so i can't tell her how i feel and expect her to feel the same that's just unfair. and if the girl doesn't like me back, then i can continue being friends with her, it's not her fault i developed feelings for her, she signed up for a friendship. but guys who become best friends with a girl and expect sex in return are scumbags, and there is actually a name for these kinds of people: meninists.
Lol i've heard of these meninists. But I know what you mean and I didn't mean what you mentioned because that's just how relationships start. The only problem is when the feelings develop in one person and he flips out when things don't go his way
Considering males are generally expected to be the ones making approaches to females would it not be reasonable to think men are copping the brunt of most rejections in the dating game. Would it then not be reasonable to think that men would then harbor the most angst in the dating game and this is why it seem men are the only ones that complain? Everyone has to let off steam in their life and guess what, males need to let off their rejection steam. If you don't like that then please get the feminist movement to make equality in the dating game with regards to who is 'expected' to make the first move.
Very true. I always say I rather hear people complain about it than let it get out of hand and start committing act (s) of violence. But sometimes men bring the friend zone on themselves.
This post is mostly garbage you're just too immature to realize it yet. If the most important thing to you in a relationship is attraction you're probably gonna get burned or you may have already.
Now, while you're partly correct that many fenales share that mentality (mostly young and inexperienced ones). It is not a wise one to maintain. Your priority should be on the quality of a person's character not their physical attributes.
Fortunately the whole "you don't owe him anything" mentality has been contained to women in their low twenties and below. I haven't quite figured out how to debunk that nonsense yet but I'm working on it.
Lastly, no. It is VERY possible that a person could be more academically or professionally qualified than they are given credit for and their instructor or employer didn't recognize it. It happens all the time. For instance, Yahoo had the chance to buy Google's search algorithm and passed on the chance. Now Google is WAY bigger than Yahoo. There is a strong chance that guy could have been good for her but she was too much of a moron to see it or she didn't deserve him.
If you're not attracted, ¿what is the point of the relationship?
To be friends.
Attraction is an aspect of romantic relationships but it should probably not be the primary focus.
attraction IS the primary focus of a relationship wtf are you on about? if there's no physical/mental attraction what the fuck are you in it for? and why did you bring up so many irrelevant things?
@sandyyy_ First off, no. The goal of a relationship is an opinion and FOR SURE not everyone agrees with that nonsense. People get into marriages often times for companionship and that's why they have wedding vows that include things like loyalty and honesty. I didn't say there should be no attraction. You should learn to read better. I said it should not be the primary focus because it shouldn't. So I say again, learn. to. read.
P. S. it's all relevant to this idiocy, "So next time you get "friendzoned" think long and hard about it. Did you get friendzoned or is it just the typical rejection that occurs in the lives of every human? I don't say I've been grade-zoned when my teacher denies me a good grade. You don't say job-zoned when your manager denies you a promotion. So why would your ego be so fragile and weak that you coin a term for being rejected in order to demonize a girl?"
" I said it should not be the primary focus because it shouldn't. "
Do you even have a long relationship right now?
@ras144 no. I don't and that changes nothing I've said.
I agree completely. Guys sound SO whiny obsessing over this friendzone BS. The friendzone is a choice: these guys are choosing to sit around, wallow, and feel sorry for themselves because a girl they want does not want them back in that way. If you don’t like the friendzone then suck it up and get over it instead of obsessing over a female who is not attracted to you in that way.
Exactly! 7 billion people in the world and they choose to sit and wallow over one girl as if she should think of them as god's gift to earth
I agree that the friendzone thing is overdone, but there are guys who are led on to believe that a girl likes them because of ambiguous answers she gives. Most guys want a definitive "yes" or "no." If he continues to stick around, thinking that he'll be enough of a friend that she'll become attracted to him, then the problem is his.
The friendzone is just that position of uncertainty. I actually hear it usually used on the internet in a derogatory way toward men, although I can believe it's used to demonize women sometimes. I hear girls use the term, too, when a guy makes like he is attracted to her, but never asks her out. That isn't something I approve of either.
If she doesn't give you an answer then just realize that she's playing games and leave. In the end, he's the fool for giving her all the attention when he knows she's probably not intending to be in a relationship with him. And it's funny you say it's used in a derogatory way toward men when I usually see guys complaining about it. And I do agree that girls do it too but image search friendzone on google and tell me which sex you think mentions it more.
It takes time to figure out that a girl really, truly isn't interested if she isn't giving clear answers or is using words or behaviors that suggest she likes him. It can takes weeks, especially if the two people have busy schedules and can't talk often.
Those however-many weeks are the friend zone. Between him feeling terribly unsure for a week or two about her, and her saying either "Yes, I like you," or "No, you're not my type (etc.)," which do you honestly think is easier?
And it may be used mostly by men toward women, but it isn't something inherently victimizing women, in theory or in practice. Women can be friend zoned, and I don't hate them for feeling bummed out that a guy never made any clear answer. I understand, tell them there are plenty of guys out there.
This is perfect. I understand they want to do everything for a girl when they like them but the girl never asks for it and it's the guy who's given up a lot for them, so they shouldn't feel entitled to get a date or a relationship! Of course a girl will want to hang out with someone so nice but if the attraction's not there, then it's not her fault and it shouldn't be made out that way. It definitely shouldn't make the guy bitter, assuming girls only use guys for their money etc. Maybe they shouldn't give things up so freely!
"If you become friends with a girl in the hopes of getting a reward in the future, you really aren't a good friend at all." Great point.
I loved this!
I agree 100% with what you said about the money thing lol. Thanks!
yes but the girl is abusing the guys weakness (usually guys who feel friendzoned are really inscure) by making him think that he has a chance by not saying she isn't interested despite knowing that he is
Frankly, I think the fact that you went so far as to assume that all guys who complain about the friendzone have Male Entitlement, completely invalidates your entire article.
Do you want to know why guys complain about the friendzone?
1. They want a hot girlfriend and haven't managed to get one yet,
2. They got rejected.
3. It happens regularly.
Now wouldn't you be pissed? Never mind the fact that you've also just decided to say that all men who complain about the friendzone just want sex? More than a little ignorant?
I didn't say all guys, I don't know where you get that from. And those three reasons you listed apply to girls too and they don't bring up being "friendzoned" nearly as much as guys. And I never even mentioned sex, I said reward, which could be anything. The quote I added happened to use sex as an example but it would still apply if you replaced the word sex with a relationship.
Okay, so disregard that part then.
Yeah, fine, okay it applies to both sexes, now, lets have a guess at who gets rejected more often?
How would I know? And so what, is rejection such a bad thing? You get rejected in all aspects of your life. And if you try to gell me men get rejected more, it's probably because girls don't whine about being in the friendzone so you don't hear about them getting rejected.
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a7737-the-friendzone-does-not-exist-the-way-you-think-it-does
I think your take covered points I failed to in my own. Overall I liked it a lot and couldn't agree more.
Lol you went about it differently and I love it
Thanks. Lots of guys hated it.
I take their hate as a compliment. It just helps to further prove the point
The bright side 😂
A man can knock up 5 women in a day, a women can only get knocked up once in 9 months, so you only need a small amount of men to knock up all the women, this makes men more sexually driven and women more selective. With this men are attracted to a large amount of women while women are attracted to a small amount of men. Our drive to fuck you is far bigger than our want of friendship, in fact 90% of the time a guy even tries to be friends with you he wants to fuck you. You aren't special besides your parts biologically speaking, men hardly care about friendship from a women. Like Chris Rock said "any time a man has ever been nice to you all he is doing is offering you some dick... that's all he is doing".
Brilliantly put... sperm is cheap, eggs are expensive.
-_- yea friend zone sucks. But its not all the guy's fault though. Lots of times girls send mixed signals. They're better then guys at hiding who they like, and still acting normal around that person. And technically what gets the guy mad at times isn't that he's in the friend zone, but the girl he's best friends with is dating a guy, who is clearly a complete prick -__-, or a guy she's always fighting with. And then she says "i wish i could find a guy just like you." -_- yea im a guy that's just like me. See that statement right there doesn't help anybody... it just complicates things for guys, who then get confused.
Okay since a lot of guys have this "problem" im gonna explain it to you. If a girl wants a guy like you but she doesn't want you, she wants something that you have to offer, not you. I've said that to a guy before and it's because he was creative, but other than that he was an asshole so I didn't want him specifically. And your definition of a good guy isn't her definition of a good guy. So it's not your job to show her what a good guy is; she'll break up with the "bad" guy on her own if she realizes he's bad. And with the mixed signals thing, everyone does that. It's up to you to ask her for a straight up answer about how she feels about you. It's not that hard.
Mixed signals isn't up to anyone. Most people that are being flirted with just let the situation ride out (to see where it goes). It isn't fair to send mixed signals. And you can't be calling everyone out that might be a "little too friendly" at times, -_- because that is just really awkward. No guy wants to be in a situation (or girl for that matter) where they are in love with a girl and she doesn't feel the same way. -_- and yea it is hard. Your put in a situation where for some reason admitting feelings means "we can't be friends" or my favorite "ill hang out with you less." Its like wait what? Its easier for girls than it is for guys. Women will do the whole avoiding thing.
Let the situation ride out for like 3 years and get mad that she doesn't know your intentions? There's letting things ride out and then there's not telling her anything and expecting her to know. And everyone sends mixed signals, so that point is weak. And if someone stops being your friend because they found out you have a crush on them, move on cause that wasn't a strong friendship. Or maybe they need space, knowing you have feelings for them and they don't know how to act. Either way, if you don't make it seem awkward and you're not crossing any borders after confessing your feelings, there should be no problems.
Look there is a difference between the guy in the friendzone that wants to hit it, and the guy in the friendzone that, not necessarily wants to hit it, but wants the girl to love him like he loves her. And yea sometimes you have to let it ride out, and no not for 3 years lol, thats just stupid.
The problem is that your only seeing Lisa from one side. What if Lisa in some other story was leading the guy, sending him mixed signals and flirting with him daily. What if Lisa was doing all that and in the end says to the guy "oh its just my personality" -_- which many women do.
Yea -_- then that would be her fault.
And that's why I said to ask for a clear answer. Your replies are so specific, I'm not replying anymore cause this sounds like a personal issue of yours
well that's fair enough. ^^ and not its not a personal issue. What it is, is a situation that so many guys and even girls go through. And its much more complicated
"You were nice to her, you bought her things, you treat her better than other guys. But the most important aspect of a relationship is attraction, be it physical or emotional. If Lisa is not attracted to you, she's just not attracted to you. She may be attracted to you as a friend but if she doesn't want to be with you romantically, she's not the devil. She did nothing wrong."
I agree, the guys are the idiots trying to suck up to the girls with no real interest in them. They should have been frank from the beginning, if rejected then stop wasting resources in a no go girl and spend it on those girls worth the attention.
Of course if she is worth being friend with, then just be friends and enjoy the friendship instead of complaining about the lack of romance.
I agree with most of what you're getting at. However, these kinds of anti-friend-zone posts frequently ignore the difference between 1) a guy who actually believes women are a vending machine (put in niceness, get out sex); and 2) a guy who is friends with a woman, develops a strong attraction to her, tells her about it, gets rejected, and then is in too much emotional pain to spend more time with the woman. Unfortunately in either case, too often the woman assumes that the man is just "entitled," and that all he wanted was sex, without considering that maybe he actually wanted a relationship but now is in too much emotional pain for it to be healthy to continuing being friends at least for the time being.
Right on the money...
I agree. I've done what you explained up there, being there for her, tell her she's beautiful... and I've gotten girls to like me and others to not like me. It's life, she's not obliged to like you emotionally. She may think you're a great friend, but not what she's looking for in a partner.
But, I think the term friendzone comes from the reason the girls put. Some girls just tell you "oh, I don't wanna lose you as a friend" or "you're too nice". She never says she just don't like you as a boyfriend, an that's why guys use this term, because it is never said that she doesn't like you as a possible partner, and that she never wants to lose you as a friend.
But yeah, I agree that many guys just act like a good guy in order to get something in return, which is not exactly how a good guy should act.
Girls are attracted to jerks and players who break their hearts and reject the guys who are willing to do anything to keep the smile on their faces
For girls:
When your boyfriend is ignoring you, another guy is giving you attention
While your boyfriend is gicing you problems, another guy is listening
While your boyfriend is too busy for you, another guy is making time for you
While your boyfriend is making you cry, another guy is trying to make you smile
When your boyfriend is not sure he still wants you, another guy has alreadu figured it out
And that guy is... FRIENDZONED !!!
cdn.gagbay.com/.../...vel_of_friendzone-365779.jpg
Haters gonna hate!!!
Getting this much downvotes means that I am right and you can't accept the truth
Woe! You really nailed it! Many women are just not capable of seeing both sides objectively!
I think guys that guilt-trip the girl that friend-zoned are immature and entitled jerks. However, I don't think there scumbags. It's normal to feel heartbreak and sad. Some people express their emotions differently. I think the problem is they lack emotional maturity. They should understand that it's just a friendship and find someone else that likes them, instead of trying to force her or blame her. They should accept responsibility of their decision to remain friends and still having emotions. If they can't handle being friends with her, then he should stop being friends because it's too painful for him. If it isn't a problem for him and he can move on, then he should remain friends. It's not that hard. I actually find guys that get friend-zoned lucky because someone actually desires their friendship.
I never have been friend zoned and its pretty awesome. This is mostly because I dont really get along with the majority of women. And I never really got why men dont get it, I want them to imagine a scenario where a girl they are unattracted to is really good to them and the feelings arnt reciprocated. It is 100% attraction in dating. Another thing i have noticed that adds to this point is that if a girl likes u u can really do no wrong. Like I can show up late to things, do dumb stuff, and she still likes me.
Yeah all true. But, having female friends might help find you someone who might end up liking you. You know being the Trojan Horse lol. Plus friends are friends, can't have enough of them. But, yes you can do wrong if a girl really likes you. One, would be if a girl misunderstands your intentions (which happens a lot) and doesn't think you like her back or thinks your rejecting her when your not. They don't want to get hurt so get scared and forget that they ever liked you. I really don't know why people can't just talk and communicate if there is a misunderstanding.
Second, if her "attraction" for you is based on you not liking her back or being vague or mysterious about how you feel back. Many girls want "what they can't have". And don't want what they can. So, the moment you reciprocate or make her realize you feel the same back, attraction dies and you stop hearing from her less. I've never understood this. So being late and doing dumb stuff is keeping her attraction in this case
"Lets just be friends" ==> this is why it is called the friend zone.
I don't get why so many girls get worked up on this issue.
Sometime, a friend might be not initially attracted to you, and you might be not his type. However, as time goes buy, this friends starts having raging emotions and sudden attraction. Reasons behind that could vary from intense familiarity to wrong attribution of the reasons behind a physiological reaction.
What annoys me is that when some girls break up with guys or when they have been flirting with a guy or when you are at the end of a date they say "I really need a friend right now." I mean, are they stupid? It's fine to break up with a guy, its fine to say you're not interested at the end of a date, its fine to say I don't want this to go any further after flirting, most of us can take rejection. But I mean seriously you try to become friends with someone who is attracted to you? That is a terrible idea. It's torturous and cruel to guys. Why would you want to put a guy through that.
The friendzone you're talking about is after different circumstances. The guy develops feeling for a friend girl. In that situation you're right, its the guys problem not yours. But the friendzone I described is one of cruelty. And that is why we demonize girls who do that
So you are explaining what the friend zone is but then get annoyed and says it doesn't exist?
It's a word and its a definition of what you just said.
I don't see why girls are getting so worked up when a guy says, "I've been friend zoned!"
You don't know how the poor guy feels. Yes it is inriciprocates feelings but the name friend zone is just a definition of more than into privates feelings. It's also a disappointment because the guy was so completely sure *or so he thought* that there was a feeling. And when a guy expresses it in here and you girls act all bratty on the Internet writing memes thinking you are all intelligent like, "Friend zone doesn't exist. It's just inriciprocates feelings which means.. GET OVER IT!!"
It just means you're childish or just as childish if one guy actually is getting bent out of shape bout it
*unreciprocated feelings not "More into private feelings"
Damn you AUTO CORRECT!
I have never been in a situation she describes up there, but I know the feeling of being rejected, so trust me i know how hard it's. But it doesn't give you the right to "force" her being with you. Yes, there is a girl you like and you have been friends for a long time, but she reject you when you try to make love with her. But that doesn't mean she is a bad girl or anything like that. She isn't into you and you have to accept it! I truly know it's can be very hard, but that's the truth and you have to move forward. I wouldn't be pissed of any girl just because they doesn't like me the way I like them. That's just ridiculous. ^^
Dude many girls know what the poor guy feels like cause we've been there as well. If you think it's only guys who go through situations like that then yeah.. you're gonna have a bad time. But yet you don't hear me as a female moaning about how a guy "friend zoned" me when I have gotten rejected. In fact, I've gotten rejected many times now, including by a good guy friend of mine a few years back. However I realized that no one has to like me or is under any obligation to like me. Did it make the pain less? Absolutely not. But instead of acting like I was "too nice" for them or moaning about how they placed me in some kind of friend zone, I took it as something else which is called rejection. Not any of this "zone" bullshit.
Getting out of the friend zone isn't about forcing. It is about giving the person you friended space.
If one person meant to be romantic with the other but played it wrong and it wasn't what they intended then why would they stick around pretending to be a friend when that isn't what they intended to begin with? And if they did stick around when they have romantic feelings then it would just hurt them especially when they have to see someone they love fall in love with someone else.
I'm not saying that you shouldn't be friends with the opposite sex if you both are absolutely clear and know that there will never be anything romantic between you two but if you wait and do something that isn't genuine then you are lying and you aren't their friend.
Also giving someone space can also let you heal, they can realize maybe there is something there that they didn't see or maybe it was really just a big crush.
Friend zone shouldn't be offensive to people.
If people hate the name for it so much then change the name for it and make it stick. Then also make it clear exactly what the new name is instead of making millions of topics about how it isn't real when all it is is everyone misinterpreting it as something sexist
I'm not moaning either so don't put words in my mouth.