What's the deal with Asian men?

[ThinkPrettyThoughts]

I go to a university that has a pretty high percentage of Asians, and I've rarely seen an Asian man (east Asian specifically) date outside of his race. I'm attracted to Asian men and wouldn't be opposed to dating one, but I feel as though they're not interested in dating anyone like me (i. e. a non-Asian woman). What's up with that? Is it a cultural thing? Is it me?

I know this may be a touchy subject and I don't mean to offend anyone. I'm genuinely curious.

[meowcow]

I think you have it the other way around. It's not that Asian men don't want to date other races, it is that other races do not want to date Asian men.

Through western culture and stereotypes, Asian men have been given a bad rap.

Asian men are often portrayed very poorly in western media. For example, Han Lee in the TV show Two Broke Girls. Or Ken Jeong in the Hangover. Western women grow up seeing Asian men as sniveling nerdy little rats with pocket calculators in their vest pocket. It has a strong psychological effect on how Asian men are perceived. Alternatively, this image is not given to Asian women. Asian women are often portrayed as exotic and attractive. Many movies and TV shows use Asian women as sex objects - but the same cannot be said about Asian men.

Asian men are also given the stereotype that we all look the same. However, that is a result of not growing up surrounded by Asian men and recognizing facial features. For example, to me, a lot of blond people look identical. African Americans all look the same to me too.

As a Chinese man myself, I would not be opposed to dating a Caucasian or non-Asian woman, but I am also not very likely to ask one out. We are well aware of how we are perceived by non-Asian people. So the likelihood of success is generally low. I would typically wait for some advances or body language hints from the girl before giving it a try. However, I would openly ask an Asian girl out.

[ThinkPrettyThoughts]

That's a great point. Your comment made me think back to a time when I told my friends that I was interested in a Korean man in my lecture hall. They teased me relentlessly until I convinced them I was no longer interested in him. As if something was wrong with me for wanting to get to know him better? Thanks for pointing out that this problem is a two way street!

[jason311]

It is somewhat a cultural thing. When I was in university, I tend to see groups of people from similar back ground say, Asian stick together. Firstly it could be the language, it might be easier for them to communicate their emotion, etc. Secondly, the language barrier, where sticking with people from the same country will be a safe choice. Thirdly, it's just a natural thing to do, either find a group of same ethinicity to hang around with or end up finding themselves together with no exact reason. From my understanding, Asians tend to date Asians, maybe because of their "taste" in relationship. However, I know many Asians who does not limit themselves to dating a specific ethnicity however do not have the courage to go outside of their "bubbles". I myself is Asian, I have dated Asian girls and girls from other race, however I was brought up in an international environment so it was not too difficult for me to get out of my "comfort zone".

[kaylaS91]

My boyfriend's Asian. From what he tells me, many Asian men are attracted to girls from different races and just don't act on it due to low self-confidence. Which of course isn't exclusive to Asian men but applies to many males so since you're into them, try taking the first step and chatting them up! I'm sure once you break the ice and give the green-light, you'll see that for the most-part they're not in any way opposed to interracial dating.

[523206720]

It's because Asian woman are extremely hot to Asian men and they aren't as attracted to girls outside of their race. I'm Asian and I think Asian girls are one of the hottest girls ever. Also because they are smaller. My friend wears a size 4 in Canada and she told me that in Tai wan She is considered an extra large. Also most stereotypical Asian girls act delicate and vulnerable and child like and Asian guys love that.

[Armada]

On the contrary. As a proud Vietnamese man, I rank Asian girls as the lowest in terms of attractiveness.

[nicolemay2001]

I just wanted to share that as I was looking through the comments there was an advert saying about Asian hook ups. Just made me laugh. :O

[Armada]

You have to take initiative in this scenario. Most Asian guys have really poor self-image. Being told that you don't "measure up" to other races while you're growing up can do a number on your confidence. Just let them know they're in the game (flirt) if you like or find them attractive. That will be more than enough to get a good read on whether they're interested or not.

[meowcow]

I think you're quite mistaken. Most Asian guys do not have self-image problems. You simply don't understand the differences in cultural upbringing. Most Asian cultures emphasize politeness and respect to a level that puts Westerners to shame. If you're an America, and have gone over to countries like Singapore, Japan, Malaysia, South Korea, or China, you likely offended a lot of the locals there by acting like an American.

While all men don't like to be rejected, your average Caucasian college male will ask every woman in the bar and get rejected 99% of the time in hopes the 100th time will score a girl. They really have no shame and don't care much if the girl rejects him.

However, in many Asian cultures, the rejection brings upon a level of shame and losing face. Something that western culture does not fully understand about Asian cultures. The embarrassment to oneself goes beyond simple rejection and is a major factor in not being aggressive when pursuing women.

[Armada]

I am not mistaken. In fact, I'm speaking from personal experience. It took me a long time to stop giving a **** how we're portrayed by the media and our "peers". Keep in mind that I'm American-Vietnamese, born and bred. I am DAMN proud of my Vietnamese culture but I am also a proud American.

The statement you made about "Caucasian" males is unfair and unbased. My ride or die niggas consist of a lot of white boys that I've known since elementary school. They got game and are good lookin dudes but they respect women. They don't just spray and pray like you described at all. Well, not all of them anyways.

There is no shame in a woman rejecting you. That's just how the game works. Either she feelin you or she ain't. There in lies the problem with most guys I've noticed on this site. That and they want to play into this whole "shy guy" bullshit when in reality they're just too pussy to try and chat the lady up and see where it goes.

[Aizou]

In simple terms, it's very common to find
foreign girls intimidating.

For one, you're probably taller than the girls
we're used to see here, and probably have
a different way to present yourself as well.

So yea, it's probably a cultural thing.

But in the end.. boys will be boys
if you keep trying, one or more are bound
to take the bait, although they may not be
the one you seek.. ^.~

[kangy]

yes
filllllll

[Insights]

Are you talking about Asians that are born and raised in Asia, but study abroad? Of course it is a stereotype but I would say that traditional East Asian men have clear preference for certain kind of woman and it is simply easier to find them among their own cultural peer group. I am Korean, but grew up and lived most of my lifetime in Europe, therefore it is probably different...

[jackstk]

If a guy wants you, he will go after you and will not let anything stand in the way. If a guy doesn't want you, he will be stuck in all the complications that get in the way. Race is just an excuse. If you want an Asian guy, go talk to him and be his friend. Do a study group with him or tutor him. Maybe because they are Asian they are so pressured to do good in school from their families and they don't have time to make friends due to lack of finances and work.

[ThinkPrettyThoughts]

Erm, I think you meant "or get tutored by him." Get it? Because Asians are supposed to be smart... Lame joke :( Great response though. Thanks!

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

I believe their out there if you just look
I know my cousin dated 2 really nice Asian guys
we are from the White race but they were both
Chinese very nice men but they remain friends
for now cause they went back to China

[life101x]

race doesn't matter! there's no cultural thing. if you're attractive im sure theyre more than willing to date you. they prob dont even know if you're interested.

[HowToBeWeird]

Some people have a mind set you should stick with someone because a sipid sin color. Not all Asian guys are that way so don't give up.

[skeptic007]

i honestly believe it is a cultural thing if you stick to what you know there's less issues