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I don’t know. Just push forward with life I guess… focus energy elsewhere
It would destroy me completely tbh
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I been wanting to ask the same question. I know I will be hated on by the many women bashing trolls. I'm falling apart & emotionally hurting. I'm torn between staying going or kicking him out. For 7years we had our ups and down. He has a gambling problem. Over $90,000 lost and in counting. Every time he brought us to debt I've dug us out. I would cut back on everything. I will sale things that were mostly mine. I would go without. I need shoes? Nope Sanitary products (sewn my own) clothes, a coat, my fav foods? Nope I need meds? Nope. I need health insurance? Nope. In fact my health insurance was always the 1st thing to go. My kids had theirs & so did my husband for me. It was a luxury We couldn't afford It cost over $400 a month. I cut everything down. I gave up my car so we would only have to register 1 car and have 1 car insurance policy. Sacrificed until we were out of debt. Then things would be ok. When things were good of course I was happy. But then He would do it again & again I'd fix it we'd be happy & again we'd crash. This last round last year worst the worst. He used the kids money & we were in debt on the house taxes & were going to lose it. I became depress & because I couldn't snap out of it & paint a smile on my face like I use he became abusive emotionally. One night I was yelled at by him because he didn't need me being upset making him feel worst for what he did. He didn't need me moping reminding him he f! cked up. I had to get over it. he yelled for 1hr 1/2 hours. I sat silently tears pouring. He got up said now let's go to bed. it snapped me. I said no he left to bed. I contemplated suicide. I actually was about to do it. Had the preparations set when my phone goes "bling" random message a G@G friend "how are you?" I dropped what I had. I called the person I had the number but never used it. They knew instantly something was wrong. They calmed me told me to leave cuz I wasn't safe. They were right. I seeked a therapist. Then a separation battle & filing for divorce. But 2 kids no where to go. We'd fight. He'd kicked me out. I slept in the car. Covid meant no shelters. He'd say I could come back home. sex was the trade. I put up with it forced a smile on for my kids. Things got nasty. Finally he hit me. I left with the kids. Bounced around until I had no where to go but back. He refused to get out. I threaten to call the cops but he counter threatened saying he tell them I hit him. Which would lead to both arrested so I put up with it. Kept pushing a lawyer to get the divorce. My man made it clear he wouldn't give me & the kids the house. He mocked me saying it would put my kids in a bad town. Then finally a breakthrough of sorts. He suffered a stroke he was ill. It is progressive. He had one more out burst but because of his diagnosis I had the upper hand. I was given shelter & he was evaluated. That was about 8 mo's ago. He's on meds now. He's calm down. Mostly sweet But occasionally he'll have a mild outburst. a few times has called me a whore or a bitch but we then adjust the meds. Now he is trying to make amends. He acts kind like he use to before this year. But I'm struggling to forget this years pain he caused. I'm not in love any more. But he's crazy about me. I tell myself to get over it. The kids need a home. I should be happy. I have food a roof over my head. I fixed the debt. The cars are paid for. He brings in a good pension. I should be thankful. I say remember my vows. He's sick he needs care. But I feel so burnt. We flooded 3mos in a roll. Lost so much. I think we could have fixed the issue if he hadn't gambled $90,000. Each flood I cleaned it up. He can't he's too ill. Then this week a letter from the gov. They want to know wheres the kids money. It was Thousands he gambled it he broke the law but I'm his wife this can hurt me too. I have to explain where the money went to. I'm stressed.
I've not really run into that. She is pretty supportive and we are of the same mind on most important things so we kind of agree on the big stuff. Therefore we are supportive of one another. If we had a major disagreement on a big issue to where on of us was not supportive of the other I guess it would be new territory for us.
I would depend on what the issue was and if it was necessary or just a whim/want from one of us. WHO was initiating a change in our life situation? Was one of us trying to initiate a major change in our lives that the other did not want? If so the one trying to push this change that would affect our marriage may be the one to have to back off.
I don't know. It has never been an issue.
Give me some examples? What has he not been supportive of or what have you not bee supportive of towards her?
If it were a big enough issue and it crossed my boundary in a major way me being "not supportive" could be "If you do this and cross this line... the marriage is over".
How big are the issues are we talking about?
I know girls who say they make sure to always have at least one close female friend to go to for emotional support if the guy does not offer enough of ur or is absent in certain types of important dialogues in their life. A lot of my cousin’s friends are close to her because they are unmarried and want a listening ear when they are in between relationships.
If she's not supporting me that means she already doesn't love me anymore. That's how I take it and I would have to make some hefty decisions. I would try to see if we can fix it. Not married yet but hope to be one day. I cannot imagine going to and from work and not having the person I care about most in life not being able to lift me and rejuvenate my spirit.
They’re your number one fan they think you hung the moon and then boom it all falls out from under you the one person that is always supposed to be there through thick and thin of course it’s going to rock you the ONE PERSON NOT ALLOWED TO DO THIS TO YOU it’s devastating how can you trust them or anyone ever again when you know they did it once why wouldn’t they do it again some things can’t ever be fixed
Does not bug me. Love her to death, but she's her own person. I loved her before she supported or had my back.
I just love living life with her.
It makes me think about her thoughts and feelings on the matter. If it puzzles me i talk to her privately after the fact. In public i do not show any signs of noticing it at all. I don't want to undermine her sense of autonomy.
WTF, it's a spouse, not your partner in business and crime. They should be your worst critic and you theirs.
Have boundaries of course, but they got your back and you got their as you are both looking for those chinks in each other before others do. If you are doing something stupid then of course they should not support you. They will sink right after you.
Hence it's more a question of how you can improve yourself, and get some respect, so that your partner supports you better.
Emotionally or logistically?
Emotionally, you can choose to take back your mojo and foster it within yourself. You can still love them, you're just not dependent on them for you self esteem.
Logistically, is more dependent on your circumstances.
Depends what you’re asking for support on. Sometimes i think its a learning lesson for the partner to not support you. Either they want you to grow strong by putting in your effort Or it just goes to show that the partner is a let down. But overall, he better have my back the majority of the time, especially when it counts
This is first time, you are complaining the attitude of your husband in the forum, before you have been declaring :wonderful and most successful married life:but now you are not happy with his present attitude, which is O. K for his and your boss, so I feel there is some problem with your attitude, I suggest you to look and revise your attitude
With time you become wiser to the point you accept and understand that even the god himself is not loved by all human so we are just human. I had to accept that fact there's no way to make everybody likes and Love me no matter what I do to them.
I did the best I could to her but nothing did work so I had to leave months later I met her accidentally I did talk her later she said through message I saw you you didn't talk me she wants back because she discovered the grass wasn't greener in the otter side
I’m not married, so if a guy I’m dating doesn’t support me, it’s just time to move on! One of the benefits of still being 18 and not being married. 😇
I never got married but I am the one who likes to sit down and talk things over rather than to break up or divorce I think it takes two to make things work If there are problems with me and the girl I want to know what is wrong, I want sit down and talk to her about what is going wrong so we can make things right
I have not really experienced this in any meaningful or major way. I imagine that it would be soul crushing.
A marriage is supposed to be a partnership. Each has strengths and weaknesses and through synergy they achieve more than they could if they were alone. Without supporting each other this never happens.
If it were me I'd dump and move on personally but that is strictly just me talking myself and not to anyone's else's situations.
I guess no wonder I'm not a guy who wants marriage. Thank god I have a personality where I like to just have my own company and interests and maybe a dog for a friend at home down the future.
If you think you are not asking support on anything wrong/harmful - and SO is not supporting you - you leave. There's no point staying on someone who holds you back.
Well I would try to understand why they won't support me and if I myself have done something wrong like not have supported them in some other situation and probably reevaluate everything and see if we are still compatible
Supports me in what?
If i'm married, all i need from her is lots of love, kisses, hugs, exciting sex 😄, delicious meals, clean and tidy house, a smile on her face, have fun with each other and she can be the financial manager to everything related about food and house needs...
Also i need her care, warmth and clean clothes...
She won't be only a housewife, but a princess in the house 😊
Thank God I read the update 😂 Does make me angry how long it takes to get over depends on what it was about and what his reasons were
Not supportive how? I always try to understand why and their thinking before come to a conclusion
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