I was raised in a very old school household. And I prefer a gentleman. They are almost extinct. I have met one, it didn't work out because he was in the military and he was moving soon. I didn't want to do long distance so I didn't do it. But he was so polite and even when I ended things he was so mature about it and very nice. I think about him sometimes, I hope he's happy.
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Anonymous
(18-24)
+1 y
Because their mothers are no longer educating their dear sons. 😒
Promiscuity on the rise in both sides… less ladies and more animal. The man hating. False allegations on the rise as well. The general loss of feminine traits in favor of masculine traits… these days holding the door could get a thank you or a fuck you…
@Anonymous PFF so you ignored everything he said and only focused on the part where he compared women with animals. You clearly missed the part that he was talking from a behavioral point of view rather than being patronizing a whole sex because of their sex. Oh and FYI, humans are also animals from a biological perspective.
Yeah feminists have babies and 3 years later theyre in daycare all day long. Thats if the poor kid was lucky enough to not be aborted. Feminists are braindead.
Its not where have all the good men gone... rather its where have all the good women gone. How women today percieve themselfs as prefferable to most men is just blantantly a blind date with expectation rather than with any reality.
And how much is on women whom take the kids to be petty? What value is commitment? To men committing to women is a great risk. We suffer the financial burden of things don’t work.
Commitment used to be important for the family and stability but it seems women are tired of men these days. If you choose to have a kid with a man that tells you he don’t want kids and you choose to give it up without commitment you can’t just blame men.
@VanillaSalt if a man chooses to have sex with a woman, he's aware she may become pregnant. He needs to be committed to being a man and not a sleezy coward. And if men would step up, at least half those numbers would go down so your point about women taking kids is irrelevant, though I agree it's wrong for them to.
@Ninaface in a perfect world I agree but men get no say outside conception. Women can abort even if he wants the kid so for the sake of equality he should be able to opt out right?
Women want to be what they want to be and there’s nothing wrong with that. But they also don’t wanna be what men want and while there’s nothing wrong with that you have to understand the reluctance to commit.
Women have all the power in relationships. They drive spending to the point means shaving commercials target women. They have all the power in abortion, family court, divorce court, and most of the power in society. If you have an example to argue against this I’m good yo hear it but the fact is the one thing men have control of is commitment. The power balance is so of scale broken men don’t have to be gentlemen anymore. Many of us can live in our homes making minimum wage playing video games all day and be happy. Compared to that why risk and why work to be better for women that don’t wanna be what we want?
She chose to take the risk as well knowing her risk was greater. So now a hard decision has to be made. Abortion or accept the child is your responsibility solely. I real man wouldn’t abandon her but then again a real woman wouldn’t take risks either.
Many things. But let’s consider what makes a gentleman. Let me just say I’m single and I’ve been a gentleman. Helping elderly at the feed store, holding doors, kind and considerate… why am I not taken? I’m not here to brag just say I feel I’m pretty damn amazing but I don’t meet the basic standards for dating partners. So what is a gentleman?
But moving on.
Women expectations and standards have changed. You can’t demand equality and in the same breath demand privilege. Either your equal or your special you can’t be both.
You know… I’ve personally experienced the woman that yells at you for holding the door. It’s damn embarrassing being yelled at in a major store when all you did was hold the door and say excuse me. There women that don’t appreciate attention and privilege anymore unless it’s from someone they are attracted to.
Metoo happened. Dear god to walk up and hug a woman these days is almost as dangerous as petting a stray dog. 50/50 you’ll get bit. In the UK for instance there’s new laws stating looking at a woman a few seconds too long is sexual harassment.
Women’s purpose to men is limited. Sex, kids, family, companionship, homemaker… women give sex free now so we don’t have to man up to get sex. Half the women don’t want kids anymore and with the state of family courts your a fool to have a kid. Family exists outside the home as does companionship. I visit my family every 2 weeks. It’s not quite the same and as a family man it bothers me but I’m not risking my life to marriage or a bad woman. And being a homemakers just not acceptable these days. Somehow makes them less human apparently. You serve no purpose at least not a big enough purpose to behave for.
We’re moving away from dating. These days sex is sex dating is just baggage. Women and men are filled to the brim and have no interest in mingling. Well no that’s wrong. They wanna mingle but women want a step higher then men are prepared to meet and women refuse to meet base standards of men…
I’m sure I’ll get tons of hate for this but I wanna be clear. I’ve stared down a man with a gun for family concerned if he missed me he’d hit my family… I've done various things to help others. I’ve been the one cheated on while being faithful for years.
So when you ask “where have all the men gone”? I respond the same place ladies went. Because your not ladies anymore your just women females in heat with attitude bringing trouble with them. We can’t trust you and with the state of divorce and family courts it’s foolish to risk for what you offer.
My First Response wants to say what are you talkin about but I know exactly what you're talkin about I was going to blessed in many ways my parents got a divorce when I was one years old when I was 2 years old my mom got remarried she married the guy until I was 10 this guy used to beat me with a belt if I did anything wrong from 10 years old to 12 years old I had a little bit of freedom at 12 years old she remarried this guy tried to put his hands on me one time when I was 16 and I told my mom I had to leave the house I was not going to live there anymore so With all the above since I was 5 years old I always wanted to know who I was I would look into people's eyes wonder if that was my dad I wonder if that guy was related to me even though I do wrong from right I took the hard way every single time so I basically had to raise myself I wanted to know what love was I learned about it I wanted to know something I learned about it my mom gave me a good foundation until I was 16 years old and I took that foundation and I built from it not knowing that I was building on top of it I can do anything in this world I am so blessed I can build a car I can build a house I can fix anything I can do just about anything and I do it very well because I've had to learn it on my own I've experienced so many things in life and love are not having love is one of them I'm very very deep person within 1 to 2 minutes I can tell you exactly who you are and what's I look into your eyes I can feel energy I can feel emotion that's me Other guys have got to watch their parents growing up and that's all they do is how they treated each other so that's what they think in their mind is the right thing the right way when you are a parent you make it all about your kids you don't discipline them you don't take away from them you don't restrict them you give them more responsibility parents nowadays are so caught up in themselves their offspring is the same way except for 10 times worse guys have no more manners they make it all about themselves they think they're right with everything they say and do so I understand where you're coming from and it really really sucks I think I was five years old when I said to myself women are going to take over the world they're ten times smarter they they mature faster they are just ten times Smarter with me for that way in so many different ways but I feel bad because I know what girls go through the pain that they have to suffer with their everyday life just by being a woman but that's what makes them strong and independent and Beautiful on the inside I truly hope that you find the one that you looking for just didn't really pay attention and who they are don't look at them on the outside and take that to the are you have to look deep on the inside look into their eyes listen to every word because with every word I'll tell you something about them if they lie to you it'll tell you the truth in the same sentence you just have to pay attention that's the whole key don't waste your time I put it up with a man's bullshit are his con are his game because they all have it it's hard to find anybody honest anymore nowadays don't think you can change somebody because you're not going to be able to make it cut and dry you know who you are on the inside if you're going to be honest with yourself
That's though he if you want to find that person that you what in your life you have to be 100% honest with yourself first
Because being a gentleman in today's western society is an almost guaranteed way to get rejected from left to right. Nowadays, women see it as something as weak as they interpret it as the man is desperate to seek their approval.
Men have adapted to today's standards of women. And it seems that there have to be some mind games as well as some form of toxicity involved in order to be able to score women. Of course this isn't always the case, but from both observation, research AND experience of many different women (with various backgrounds, interests and lifestyles) it is a majority.
Hence why you see the assholes and bad boys always able to get the women. I personally have experienced that as soon as I started to care more about myself and adapt the 'bad boy' traits in my own life and personality (whom feminists would nowadays call "tOxIc mAsCuLiNiTy", I was having tremendous success with women. And no, they aren't just 1 type of bad woman. All of the girls I've been with are incredibly different from one another. Even today having a very feminine, conservative, caring and loving girlfriend, she wouldn't feel attracted to me if I was playing nice guy gentleman and not having my dominant personality. If women generally truly do like gentleman behavior (aka chivalry), then we would see A LOT MORE men practise it. Just like the old days. But sadly, this here is the very answer to your question:
Also, like many others have mentioned here: Women stopped being ladies themselves. I am a strong believer that this is due to feminism frowning upon ladies who are teamplayers rather than selfish idiots with misandrist tendencies.
When it comes to my personal relationship: I do act like a gentleman for my girl only. Or an elderly lady who actually knows how to appreciate it. In order to want a gentleman, you have to be a classy lady yourself. In a society where crop tops, cleavage and wearing yoga pants are the norm, my girl tends to turn heads and receive many compliments for just wearing professional/classy vintage dresses. She also appreciates me taking care of her as a man in being the protector, provider and leader. It's common for me to do small things like opening the door for her or let me walk on the side of the road. So if something happes, it is most likely me who gets hurt and not her.
I once held the door open for a girl who needed to go through as I went first, only to get a condescending laugh and look. While I only held the door open out of politeness (something I do for everyone). Yeah, women wonder why men stopped being gentlemen.
@KlinkyCoder Absolutely. In places like corporate or military, being the nice guy will have people try and use and walk all over you. It's brutal out there.
I see the main problems as that: 1. Parents have problems teaching their children manners 2. Guys don't feel there are no ladys anymore. Looking at dating profiles most female dating profiles look the same. It's hard nowadays to find a woman's profile that seems special in online dating. 3. Society has changed. Nowadays people are more self conscious and focused on their own benefits. People care foremost for their own pleasure. 4. Guys start dating unprepared (Many don't know what they want and how to get there) 5. Open sexual culture has messed up guys minds and dating (many boys have watched porn before having a girl friend). Why put in effort and work hard for it when you can have a friend with benefits or a sexual open relationship? 6. Women change so do guys. Women want more rights and guys don't want to be seen in role of a provider solely. We don't want to be seen as the person that has to do all the effort while you girls don't raise a thumb. 7. Guys fear the etiquette of being called a "nice guy" and as everybody knows the saying "nice guys finish last". Many guys don't want to end in the "friendzone" because they are too nice. 8. The imagine of relationships has changed. Marriage isn't the norm anymore there are so many ways to be in a relationship or to connect with someone. While a hundred years ago it was the norm to marry guys nowadays have other options to focus our life on. We now longer depend on a relationship because nowadays a man not being single at the age of 25 isn't special while 50 or 60 years ago that would cause him to have defend himself. 8. Concepts like Romeo and Juliet are ideals. Don't expect to much because most of us guys are also shy we are insecure as well and we aren't born as fighters. We need to have a reason to become one
Don´t get me wrong I agree with feminism at its core that men and women should have the same rights and chances, but the society in its a whole is and has been changing over the years. There has always been some kind of progress and that´s also happening now. Women are changing and so do men.
I believe that there are numerous reasons for this in society.
Not understanding the rules of engagement: There was a time when Western culture as a whole accepted chivalry. The last sixty years have seen the sexual revolution subsequently iterations of feminism. Transitions from hold the door to I can get my own door and anything you can do, I can do better have worn down traditional (non-chauvinist) men. Additionally, younger men aren’t old enough to remember how to behave when a lady is present.
#MeToo: Yes, I agree that consent is crucial and thank the Lord that I maintained proper judgment in life. There are generally three types of men out here in the world - the stupid, cautions, and the uninformed (yes, the exist).
Value Proposition: Is it with the risk? Most say no. The only good thing about the pando is that I can now have recorded virtual meetings with my direct reports (regardless of gender) without fear of being canceled or losing my career. It’s unfortunate for all.
What’s the fix: Hopefully it’s not that episode of Black Mirror where we all record ever interaction via a video drive embedded in our heads but it seems going that we’re moving in that direction.
Seriously, what’s the fix: We all need to put some work in on the matter. Ladies who want gentlemen, learn about choosing signals - drop a handkerchief for a guy to pick up or place your self in a man’s orbit in a helpful or playful way, and ask him with grace and dignity to extend those courtesies.
Men who want to be gentlemen, listen and understand consent, know how to read choosing signals. Think with your rational head.
All parties - project who and what you want in a partner. Be sincere and respectful in the search while steering clear of the people not fit to meet your grandparents.
The ones that are most successful in the dating pool are those that know exactly what they want and are courageous enough to tell you.
Can't tell you how many folks (girls and guys) go on a first date and waffle at the question: what are you looking for?
If you give a shallow answer, you'll get a shallow situationship. If you give an honest answer, you might get some honest feedback or well You might have a funny story to tell your friends later.
People that know what they want don't waste their time with directionless answers and socially acceptable platitudes. Men should stop lying to become eligible if they secretly feel they can do better, and women need to cut off a guy as soon as she entertains interest in a newer suitor.
I think women can be better about calling out a guy mid- date (like if he keeps flip flopping his opinion to seem more moderate or likeable). A guy that gives you bs on a first date, will give you bs on later on.
I think both genders can be better about requesting process exclusivity (dating one at a time while assessing fit) if that's what they want and expect from a partner they'd take seriously.
I don't get why people don't just blurt out what they want. It already takes way too long to find a match. Why would anyone waste time trying to change themselves or trying to con a non starter?
Feminism killed us all off. If you ever wonder why I'm such an asshole, you can thank shitty women all over the Western world for that. I'm not going to be nice and gentlemanly for a bunch of angry cunts with an attitude.
And as others pointed out, there's less ladies out there, then there are gentlemen. Find me a woman who thinks OnlyFans is disgusting and nasty (because it is) and doesn't think spreading her legs is somehow "empowering" and she just MIGHT be an actual lady. I'll wait.
But yeah, we live in a culture of simps, feminists, porn addicts, and OnlyFans. There's no point in being a Gentleman anymore and I wouldn't blame women if they felt there's no point in being a Lady anymore. Both are now seen as "negatives" by society.
EXACTLY! If I have a son in the future, I would tell him to be good, but not a gentleman. Because as you already can see, it will only backfire at him. I tell him to adapt to the world accordingly to get what he wants. Survival of the fittest. And being a 'gentleman' in today's (western) society is an almost guarantee of not surviving.
@KlinkyCoder Getting a girl flowers, singing her a song, opening doors to impress her other than just being polite, sliding her seat forward when she sits, showering her with compliments. So the usual cliché things.
@KlinkyCoder Going out of your way to show a woman you care. Women wanted equality? Now they've got it. I treat a woman the same way I treat any man and have been doing so for at least five years now. If a woman says something stupid, I tell her to sit down and shut the F up. I'm willing to clown her into embarrassment, if need be. Not rudeness, but blunt honesty. The same exact treatment as I would a man. And MANY women don't like it, thus I get "incel" and "misogynist" comments for treating them equally. Of course, I wipe my ass with those. The only exception to the rule is a actual Lady, who would actually appreciate me being "extra nice" to her. But aside from a few women on this site, I know of no such ladies out there. But I gotta say: It's a hell out a lot more liberating to treat everyone as equals than it is to "simp" to women who grew up with daddy issues. I only got my Masters degree three years ago, so I was in university with these kinds of angry cunts who hate men, but love simps worshipping them.
1. Women stopped acting like ladies which took away a huge motivation for many guys to act like gentlemen. When I was a kid, the vast majority of women had more class in 1 finger than most women today have in their entire body. Now we celebrate mediocrity, attention whoring, being irresponsible in the name of "freedom". 2. Too many boys got raised to act think like women. Surprise, surprise, if everybody does that it's suddenly hard for a heterosexual to find an ideal partner. 3. Too much sexual freedom leads to people being more selfish and doing things like having kids with someone who is a horrible role model/parent.
Now the people who claim the traditional ways were all wrong, are just guessing. They can't show us a society/civilization that became great without the traditional ways. We can see many in decline when they abandon traditions tho.
I remember very clearly that I once (not too long ago) held a door open for a girl who needed to pass as I was going through the door first. It was all out of politeness as any normal person would do this for anyone. She stopped looked at me very condescending and started laughing while going through it. No thank you or what not. Another guy witnessed it and was obviously as shocked as I am when we both looked at each other like "did she really just do that?".
Yeah and women wonder why men stop acting like gentlemen.
@TruthBringer And women ask why guys don't act traditional -- thinking that they can be non-traditional but demand the guy stay traditional because it helps her. Guys are waking up.
1. feminism - woman vocally demanded not to be treated as special. Being a gentleman gets you nothing good anymore. In fact it leads to you getting fucked hard in 2021. 2. male children aren't scared of their single mother. Without the heavy hand of daddy it's hard to teach junior any manners. these boys are adults now. 3. This is the first generation of young adults where many of them were raised by people who never had a father. Their parents of today's young adults never even learned the life lessons they need to be teaching their children.
Pleeeaaase, Let's be real here. Women don't want no gentleman, they want a bad boy type of guy who they think they can fix and turn them into a good obedient to them only type of man. Women want a challenge, they want a broken king or a prince type of men, a lone hardcore warrior that is unable to settle down with one woman only. Women want a puzzle that they can solve or be part of. Gentlemen's are none of those things, There are plenty of gentlemen's out there, but most of them are single and undesirable by most women, because they are way too respectful to women (nice guys) and they are worshiping women like Goddesses, again something that most women hate.
I would hazard a guess that it’s roots are in the deep seated insecurities that exist in our society. My sense of people is that everyone, in broad terms, is fearful of having their better nature taken advantage of. Once bitten twice shy as the saying goes. If a man made sincere overtures of kindness and affection and was rejected for it, whether fairly or not, it will alter his behavior in future relationships. I have experienced this myself to some degree where it can feel like casting pearls before swine in a sense. That’s not to say I understand why rudeness is so prevalent. If I were to act on my worst instincts in a moment of resentment I would be filled with self loathing whenever I thought of that interaction. Ultimately if you’re treating people differently on the basis of extracting something from someone rather than looking to share in an experience it will cause problems. It’s not a problem of chivalry it’s a problem of authenticity.
After many troubling conversations with a lot of guys here. I began to notice a pattern. So I wanted to create a thread to address a few things.
Apparently, many men at GaG cannot figure out how to define their masculinity independent of women. This creates a huge problem when it comes to understanding women's issues.
Because guys think, they are men only because of their relation to where women are in their lives and/or the amount of power they think women wield, etc. They can't even articulate what they think a man is supposed to stand for. They cannot voice an opinion on what traits and qualities go into being masculine.
I think you’ve hit the nail on the head here. I’m 30 and am really still not sure what masculinity is “supposed” to look like but I generally see healthier versions of it in people who are less concerned with acquiring status through manipulation of what should be well earned fruits of a life well lived. For me its striving to be generous in my interaction with others without the expectation of reward and magnanimous in rejection or failure. No one owes me anything for simply existing.
Young guys act out online because they can. They don't try and control their hormones and accost females to try and get any sense of sexual gratification, as if their desire justifies any behaviour.
But manners, politeness, etiquette... it's slowly going away. It's not just guys, it's many girls too. Society has become very casual. You still see these efforts in some people. Classy people will stand out. But they're quiet, they don't make noise, so it takes a subtle person to notice them.
I see a lot of justification. People see others acting a certain way, and they think there's no point being much different, any better. Then the whole thing just compiles, compacts, exacerbates. What people should do is really not change their behaviour regardless of what happens around them. Pull people up, don't be dragged down. Or focus on yourself and don't let anyone degrade who you are.
It's simple. There are more college-educated women looking for college-educated men than there are college-educated men to date, and the ratio gets worse in older age groups. Also college men are more willing to marry a non-college woman than vice versa. So for college men it's a buyer's market.
However, there is a surplus of professional men on the west coast, particularly in Seattle and northern California. They are in high tech, but most are nice, have outside interests, are very smart and well paid.
Political chaos leading to life instability, leading to having to start life over. Many then have to take shitty jobs, just to have one. They make dirt wages, and women avoid those men. Then, more political BS happens. The government gets in bed with a foreign government to engineer plagues. If the first few waves are ineffectual, they simply use propaganda to get a huge portion of the population to poison itself. As they're shedding, they create mutant strains, until finally one exists that Mr. Already Downtrodden isn't able to have natural immunity to. They bring the pain, break your legs, then dictate the wheelchair you must use.
Under these circumstances, the man's too busy trying to get his life back to even think about how to impress a woman.
You DON'T get to have it BOTH ways... you DON'T get to have the refined 'gentleman' AND the rebel love 'em / leave 'em 'Bad Boy'.
As that song lyric goes: "Oh shut up, silly woman" the snake said with a grin. "You KNEW DAMNED WELL... I was a snake, BEFORE you took me in."
Every girl wants a 'bad boy' who'll only be 'good' for her and every boy wants the sweet & innocent schoolgirl who'll awaken, surrender and manifest her inner shameless nascent 'slutty' side for only him.
Saw a telling internet meme recently "Your orgasm face is GORGEOUS". The unselfconscious intuitive "in-the-moment" facial expression of impassioned 'sweet pain' is irresistible on EITHER males OR females and IS addictive! Its the ADULT version of a merciless sadistic 'tickle fight'. To intimately KNOW... that YOU... hold THAT ability to MAKE your companion LOSE THEIR 'SHIT' like an crazed animal in heat and BE totally -in-the moment! ~
Maybe because some women and also men who mock men who are gentlemen, or call them simps, or white knights, etc.. Maybe because the way some women behave themselves these days, they don't deserve a gentleman... 🤷🏼♀️
Simps/white knights are a suitable insult. They are not gentlemen, you conflate them. True, both are deferential and servile in a sense, but a simp lacks self-respect and dignity. A simp is not a prize to be won, they are bottom-feeding yes-men.
I've known guys who were gentlemen and they got pushed aside for those who weren't.
These guys then either remained gentlemen, but stopped trying or become non-gentlemen themselves. I wouldn't advocate giving up on relationships or forcefully turning yourself into a bad person. But it does happen depending on how an individual, in this case a guy, has been treated by his internal and external environments in crucial years of development (0-18)
I think men you are referring to don't date too much. They date until they find one girl they are compatible with and they love each other forever. Some guys like this don't really date at all actively for whatever reason.
These guys are not really "out there" dating all the time, or in parties, maybe they are not even on dating apps, etc.., but you'll see plenty of players/fucbois who are just there for ONS and stuff. And gentlemen don't look like the actors in movies obviously, so it's pointless to look for that only. You might as well try to date the actor himself..
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