How do we together, reconcile the more traditional views regarding men and relationships with modern feminism?

Question

The dichotomy between traditional more conservative views about relationships, the roles and expectations of men, and modern feminist theory is something we're getting nowhere fast trying to 'discuss'.

Both men and women like to throw around 'facts' with such certainty. Can we admit that alone we can't fully know, with all our neuroses and biases; but that together we stand a chance to?

If we are to move forward together and evolve, surely we must understand that we all have different needs and ideas about what constitutes good dating, sexual and relationship practices. As well as ideas and ideals about what Men or Women should be like. Sometimes those needs and ideas are contradictory. That is a part of being human. Being able to hold multiple and conflicting viewpoints doesn't make us confused or wrong. But not being able to reconcile these conflicts is confusing, and leads to wrongs being committed.

This cognitive dissonance often prevents the conversations from moving forward and leads to polarisation and factionalism. Not ideal, and given the amount of noise surrounding these topics; we do desperately seem to want to figure it out.

Let's not keep recycling the same old ideas and think of new ones.
Together.
X

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

All the time people speak about and try to encourage others to have a sensible, civil conversation, in the hope that we can all unite and reach some kind of compromise.

That’s just not how the world works. It’s never going to happen. There will and always have been people with radically different and opposing views. These people will always be in conflict with each other.

My views are very traditional. I might agree with feminists on a few things, but we will always disagree on most things. I’m able to speak in a respectful civil manner, but very often they will turn hostile at some point no matter how polite I am, therefore I don’t tend to speak with them at all anymore.

We’ll never agree to much anyway as I just explained. It seems like a complete waste of time. That’s just how it goes.

What tends to happen however over time is that “progress” is cyclical, or as some people put it the pendulum swings one way and then later the other way. Nothing lasts forever. Feminism is unsustainable and most people will eventually return to more traditional gender roles. In fact I think that we’re at the point where the pendulum is just beginning to swing the other way.

What most people don’t understand, because we’ve all been taught that we’re born as blank slates and that our thoughts, behaviours and ideas are socially conditioned - is that much of this is genetic. We don’t only inherit the physical characteristics of our parents, but also many of their personality/character traits. Of course not 100% of them, but still, many of them.

What that means is that the beliefs of the people who have the most children are the most likely to dominate in future generations. The most traditional people have the most children. Feminists have very few.

When I said that nothing let’s forever, I also mean that good times of plenty don’t last forever. Feminists only exist in good times. When things get harder for any reason, people will naturally revert back to traditional gender roles.

WindAtMyBack · Accepted Answer

It's simple. Just ignore feminism. It amazes me how many people simultaneously complain about feminism, yet try to adhere to it. People can disagree with feminism all they want. But why change your own behavior because of feminism?

Probably the biggest problem with modern feminism is that they have no idea what they're fighting against. They have no idea what a traditional family is all about. They create phantoms, then fight against it. They have a very strange stereotype of traditional relationships that is not even close to reality.

Cherry picking doesn't count. Feminists tend to cherry pick. They point out something that reinforces their wrong views and and say "Look, see what traditional relationships are like?". But in reality it's not even close to representative.

I grew up and entered my adult life during so-called second wave feminism. Even then it wasn't needed. The VAST majority of girls/women back then thought feminism was a total joke. People today might think that hippie girls in the 60s and 70s were feminists. They weren't. Not even close. They simply ignored it.

Admittedly feminism had it's place at one time. It still has it's place in many parts of the world. But in the modern west, it's time was in the distant past.

If someone wants a traditional relationship, fine. Where I live that's still the majority of relationships. If someone doesn't want it, that's fine too. But NO NOT try to force it on everyone else, which is exactly what the feminists want to do. What they are trying to do is exactly the same as what they are supposedly fighting against. They don't want people to decide for themselves. They want to dictate how it will be for everyone.

So just ignore feminists. Don't let them change your views. Don't let them change your lifestyle.

EmyyWolf · Accepted Answer

Traditional Views?
Most men want this whole situation to be traditional. Woman stays at home caring for the kids, and man goes to work to support his family.

I’m not part of modern feminists, cause those are all INSANE KARENS. And are privileged af.

But any time I’ve seen a woman live under a man’s control and she has no MONEY of her own, no SUPPORT… the man takes full advantage and … does what he F*king Wants, he cheats, he lies, he does what ever.
He can even mistreat her and hit her and dom-abuse and so forth!

So, no… in this era we’re equals or WE’RE NOT!

I haven’t seen it on heterosexual relationships either. I seen it in Lesbian Relationships too. The Narcissist Controller is the money maker and has ABSOLUTE CONTROL of the broke partner.
You Know Why? Cause the Broke partner can't GET OUT CAUSE THEY BROKE!!
(Just Look at The Relationship Between Amberlynn Reid and Becky)

How do we together, reconcile the more traditional views regarding men and relationships with modern feminism?

Also this video explains perfectly why as a woman you should be the broke housewife and NEEEED to have some kind of backup plan or backup money.
I was watching it just YESTERDAY

https://www.youtube.com/embed/Q4v7NUJCbnk

LilyoftheLake · Accepted Answer

I... agree with the sentiment here.

I would like to add that the old ways have lasted for thousands of years for a REASON. We should be very careful to dismiss what worked through millennia, and ultimately what allowed for us to enjoy a degree of prosperity that we can begin to question some of those views.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

1. Why do we need to reconcile traditionalism and feminism? How would that help me? Wold you suggest that Christians and atheists "reconcile" their beliefs? 2. What is wrong with being polarized?

lightbulb27 · Answer

I think nature sorts this out... ultimately. Be flexible and open minded in seeking a mate, but hold to what you view as good values and life.

I see this in my environment. All of my wife's family is successful, made offspring, secure middle class. Contrst this to the "garbage" I'm hearing my step daughter report from high schools of what kids are getting caught up in. The next generation is going to be possibly, crushed... in many ways... romantically, sexually, reproductive, financially. I don't blame all that on feminism, but related. There is no dobut two are better than one... as long as they are working together in the same direction... and that's where the values come in as essential for consistent emotional support going in the same direction, building something that is passed on.

That in essence, was the purpose of traditional values... e. g. time proven values that work in humanity.

Anonymous · Answer

Modern feminism is sexism which is unacceptable.

There is no requirement for any kind of reconciliation between traditional views and progressive views so long as no one is forcing a consequence on someone else.

We already have and have implemented the solution, it is called equality and freedom of choice.

Everyone is equal and they are where I come from and then you make your personal choices based on your preferences, if you want to live in a 1950s household you can do that, with a consenting adult and if you want to take your genitals your own way you can do that too.

So aside from the pandering to feminazism there isn't a problem here.

Anonymous · Answer

There's no reconciliation possible between them. To say that I can treat you as no less than an equal, but also that I must treat you as more important than myself (by rejecting being treated as a true equal), is to say that you are unequivocally superior to me.

But if I refuse to treat you as superior, and you refuse to be treated equally, then we truly are both equal... equally single, equally self-sustained, and therefore equally planning, doing, and paying for our own stuff. I'm 100% ok with this arrangement

Kaamraj · Answer

You cannot reconcile two diametric opposing ideologies. Only the test of time and circumstances will tell who emerges victorious and who raises the white flag and requests to come at the negotiating table. Given the economy, ongoing pandemic, declining rates of marriage and fertility, I would say men should focus on themselves and trying to be as strong as possible to survive.

Sixgunsound · Answer

You can’t negotiate with terrorists. Just like Israel can’t negotiate with its neighbors who want them dead, traditional minded masculine men cannot negotiate with angry Marxists who want to destroy everything they are and stand for. And before you give me crap about feminists aren’t terrorists educate yourself about early Irish feminism and the invention of the letter bomb.

HopefulGuy94 · Answer

As well as ideologies such as feminism , masculism , equalism or any kind of blah blah -isms are derived as the time passes and spread like viruses no supporter of those could reach a compromise never and ever are supposed to become so. I think these are differentiate men and women making them walking in the same path together rather then making them enemies by strategically destroying each other so treaty cannot be achieved >:(

LazerBean · Answer

Modern feminism is a shame to humanity, and is incompatible with traditional values.

JustiReno · Answer

Tbh I learned to respect women from my mom, she’s an attorney, and from my grandmother, a high school English teacher. Don’t complain about other people. Guys bitch about feminism, they just mad nothing wanna fuck them all there is to it. I live in freaking Seattle home of the gays n I never met a feminist who wasn’t an abused bitter lesbian. Take care of you S. O. Your parents, your kids, all you can do

Dargil · Answer

Feminism is a cultural cancer. It should be quarantined and not passed to the next generation. Don't have sex with them, marry them, have babies with them or let them mentor children.

TrueConfection · Answer

We don't all need to have the same point of view to get along in this world. Live and let live.

JamesRandiDebates · Answer

With the upcoming great depression 2.0 on the horizon, women are going to abandon all pretenses of feminism and claim that they never supported feminism in the first place. Hopefully men have wised up enough to recognize the chameleon nature of females. Personally, I welcome the upcoming days when women will be reduced to selling their snatch on street corners in exchange for a can of beans.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't think this is hard at all. To me it's simple. I have zero problem treating women as equals. It's pretty clear to me women haven't really decided though whether they want equality or not. They'll probably struggle with this for a few more generations. Right now I think their head tells them one thing while their biology tells them another. As a result most are just confused and miserable as they try to get the best of both worlds.

Anonymous · Answer

I think a better question is "who cares?" A relationship is between ONE man and ONE woman--not between "men" in the abstract and "women" in the abstract. We're not all averaging our preferences and all having the same relationship. Individual couples need to work this out on their own and there'll be as many answers as there are couples.

genericname85 · Answer

we don't. it's like if you want a traditional conservative lifestyle, you don't date a feminist/sjw. easy as that. it's opposing world views and lifestyles. everyone has a choice. no need for reconciliation.

RingusUrDingus · Answer

The old ideas are old for a reason. They've been tried and tested for thousands of years of human history.

We dont need "new" ideas. We need to stop disregarding ideas that work simply because they're "old".

Agape93 · Answer

Feminism is about equality. So, if you want a traditional relationship where you both want her staying home and raising the kids, go for it.

RobEurope · Answer

By removing economic ideologies from social views. Modern feminidm is capitalist and socialist based. These ideologies are economic tools. We must focus on health and happy life.

Adronicus · Answer

Strong civilizations lead by reason will endure, weak ones will be replaced / die out. Saying that not a single matriarchy (lead by women) has stood the test of time.

This_Is_My_Opinion8 · Answer

Easy!
We let people chose what they want.
Do you a conservative relationship? Have it!
Do you want a more liberal relationship? Have it!
Do you want something in between? Have it!

And no one has anything to do with it!

How do we together, reconcile the more traditional views regarding men and relationships with modern feminism?

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