Why I feel people don’t like softness anymore?

[Anonymous]

Hellooo with all the suffering in this world I was wondering why softness is usually depicted as boring and weak? I explain: I feel like I’m lonely in my love for tenderness and tender people!! I’ve never like all those « bad ass » characters in movies I just don’t like rudeness and violence in general.. I prefer gentle people. I also like things like chivalry 🫣 and other girls shame me for this but I don’t get what is so shameful? (Please girls here give me your thoughts!! 🤓🙏) so, naturally, I want a tender relationship but a guy friend told me I was going to end up alone because of this? WTH? (Guys are welcome here🙃) do you prefer to get wiped instead of gently touched?😱 because, if yes, I don’t judge but just so I know I have to end up alone , thank you for your time 🤓🫡

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo sis, I totally get where you're coming from! There's nothing wrong with appreciating tenderness and preferring kindness over rudeness. Those things are seriously underrated these days in my opinion.

I think part of why softness gets brushed off is cuz a lotta people confuse it with being weak. But being able to show vulnerability and care about others takes way more strength than acting all "hard" all the time.

Plus the media definitely plays into that stereotype by always portraying "bad boys" as the ideal. But that ain't real life ya know? In real relationships, respect and communication is the glue that holds things together - not drama!

Don't let anyone shame you for who you are. You sound like a total catch - someone who appreciates the little things in life like romance and chivalry. Those are so dope!

Don't settle sis. The right dude will be STOKED to find a girl like you who isn't afraid to be her soft, gentle self. Keep doing you - that tender heart is gonna take you places, I promise!

[Asker]

thank you for your kind words , i appreciate. stay like you are too ''bro'' :)

[Oliverlogan263]

Ayy no problem sis, just keeping it real! There's nothing wrong with being a tenderhearted person. Takes guts to stay true to who you are even when others try to shame you for it.

Don't ever let anyone make you feel small - you do you, you feel me? Your softness just shows how much love you have to give. The right dude will see that as a blessing, trust.

These days it seems like everyone just wants drama 24/7. But real ones know sometimes you just need some soft cuddles and kind words, nothing wrong with that!

So keep shining your light, a girl with a caring soul is a catch if you ask me. Your prince will come around, bet he'll be grateful as hell to meet a queen like you. Just stay awesome Beautiful, talk soon! *fist bump emoji*

[Asker]

yes !! keep going too with your words i think kind words may save lives :)

[Oliverlogan263]

Aw thanks boo, you're totally right! Sometimes all someone needs is to hear something kind when they're feeling down. Words really can make such a big difference.

It's crazy to think something as simple as a compliment or encouragement could save someone from doing something dangerous. But our words have power, for good or bad.

I'm gonna keep spreading the softness for sure. Even if it's just a random smile at someone who looks like they need a bit of sunshine. Paying it forward how I'd wanna be treated.

Thanks for the reminder luv, it really does mean a lot. In this world of harshness, we soft gals gotta stick together and lift each other up! Sending you big hugs and happy thoughts. Keep rockin' that tender heart ❤️

[Oliverlogan263]

We soft ones I meant

[Asker]

your totally right!! i heard a story about a man who wanted to end up his life and the cashier complimented him and he end up going to university... so now i always try to say good words hihi keep going lets spray our light in this dark word haha

[Oliverlogan263]

Woah, that story about the cashier is crazy! Goes to show you really never know what kind of impact your words can have on someone. We should all try to compliment and encourage each other more, it could seriously change someone's life.

Yeah definitely, between the two of us I'm sure we can spread a lot of light in this world! Any time someone looks like they're feeling down, we'll just hit em with a nice comment to cheer them up. And let's encourage our other friends to do the same too. Imagine if everyone went around just spitting out little compliments, it would make such a difference in people's days.

Spreading positivity is way better than being mean, for sure. Let's make it our mission to hype each other up from now on! High five for being awesome people. Thanks for the chat, it was really cool talking to you about this. Keep shining bright out there! 😁✨

[MrOracle]

Your beef is with Feminism. Feminism has been teaching women to BECOME men, to be 'strong and independent', and that chivalry was "the patriarchy" and "oppression." It's why other women shame you - they've bought into Feminist ideology. They want you to be a wage slave and to be alone - they won't want you to have a family and raise healthy, strong children together - that goes against everything they stand for.

Men haven't changed, except to the degree that they've been forced to adapt to Feminism. It was women that changed, because Feminists took over colleges, created "women's studies" (aka Feminist indoctrination), which much later become "gender studies", and "educated" a whole generation of pro-Feminists, who then spread to the rest of the education system and into government and the media.

It's why you have to have women "kicking ass" in every single TV show, and every woman is a "strong female character", because that's all that matters. She doesn't need a good backstory, to or earn her skills or experience - she's already perfect from the start and never loses. And Hollywood can't seem to figure out why this doesn't make money...

Thank your mother and grandmothers' generations for this.

[Asker]

I consider myself as a feminist of the first waves, in the sens of seeking the same rights as men. Also, I already took classes from gender studies and I understood this as the analysis of the oppression of men on women that still exists nowadays sadly ( just think to the normalization of the harassment of women in big cities for example) You seem to hate the « independent woman » but in the actual word I feel like we don’t really have choice and we must be independent to survive because relationships feel to me like pure consommation rather than love so how can you be dependent of a man who will surely dump you? That’s my question as a Muslim girl living in a family that promotes the « women-mother ». (Besides I kind of feel ashamed when my girl friends know how to handle car problems when my dad still help me to remove the snow from my car 🫣) My point is that I find tenderness more attractive on human beings and I don’t think an agressive man is less problematic than an agressive feminist 😬

[FreyaRed]

Media taught us in the west that malevolence and being cunning leads to success. On the other in most stories the evil is foolish, unfocused and never wins. This causes some cognitive dissonance, especially in kids whose worldview has been shaped with western media.
There are many reason why they try to feed us with that BS but the most obvious one is that we shouldn't independently cooperate and see every one as competitor in usual rat's race we participate every day.
Maybe the solution for you is to see things more in gray shades instead of black and white. Most people change their attitude when they recognize that you're capable of keeping your interest on sight but if you don't have much to lose, you prefer to be benevolent and positively thinking even thought you're aware of possibility someone could try to exploit you. Remember when you deal with your partner at intimate level, it's the child you're addressing in them and children get easily bored and take everything easily for granted.

[Asker]

thank you for your advices! im also tired of all the competition ! i read a book about biology and the author explained well how the cells need teamwork instead of competition it was beautiful to read

[Berethor]

BDSM has become more common nowadays but it's not mainstream.

[Asker]

yeah i kind of exagerating things but i was mostly speaking of people with harsh personalities being valorized more than gentle people. For example, i work in customer service and my coworkers use to tell me im too gentle with people but why should i be mean? im not going to start a drama with strangers geez. In other words, if i can satisfy the customer (even if sometimes some people are annoying) why i wouldn't? but sadly I've noticed people like to start fights for nothing.

[Berethor]

Who expect women to be harsh? being nurturer is feminine. :)

https://allthetropes.org/wiki/White_Magician_Girl

[Asker]

animes and western fictions are to opposite worlds, i was speaking about western fictions. But i do think that feminity in animes is another extreme sadly