Do you think it’s true that women hit the wall at age 30, and men hit the wall at age 40?

Question

What does hitting the wall even mean at this point? If they can get a partner still, why do men care so much about women “hitting the wall”?

Metallsturm · Accepted Answer

I see some retarded answers on the matter in this topic from people who either don't comprehend the concept, or come up with their own moronic definitions that are incorrect.

The definition of "hitting the wall" means losing qualities that are sexually and romantically attractive to the opposite gender for long-term relations. Additionally, it implies that you're satisfied with your partner, instead of getting a partner just to avoid howling out of loneliness and then bragging "yeah, I can still get a man, and I'm 45! I'd never even looked at him when I was a hot 25, but let's leave that part out, as it contradicts my narrative".

Therefore, women indeed start hitting the wall at the age of 30-35, as their looks start to decline, their fertility goes down significantly etc. Some women can push back the clock a bit if they work out and eat well, true, but that's beside the point. Some erroneously think that hitting the wall implies a woman is somehow undesirable at all (some guys, especially younger ones, go for cougars because it's believed cougars are more desperate and/or want to feel young again, but guys do NOT settle with them), which is why I put "for long-term relations".

Some women erroneously think that men's attraction triggers are symmetrical to women's -- this is mainly due to modern women significantly lacking in empathy (not to be confused with sympathy), thus they tend to think men somehow care about women's career and similar stuff as much as women care about men's. This is due to lacking in empathy, and thus projecting her own preferences unto what men may prefer.

If someone is dumb enough to disagree, there are entire channels on youtube that make compilations of thousands of videos of crying older women (35+) from tiktok that are either annoyed they're still getting called on dates and whatnot, but it never goes further than getting pumped and dumped, or they can't get a date at all.

With men, it's a bit different: men don't hit the wall, men *start* at the wall, as everything the opposite sex sees as attractive in us for long-term relations is something that must be earned instead of given naturally. What do I mean by that?

Men overwhelmingly like youthful, good-looking, not a ran-through, not a nagging bitch women. Well, surprise, everyone's born youthful. Good looks can be acquired with a bit of proper use of makeup, plus most girls are attractive. Nobody is born ran through, and it's not hard to avoid becoming a nagging bitch. Some other positive qualities are nice to have, but they aren't as fundamental. So women in terms of having what men want are akin to trust fund babies by the time they turn 18, most of it is given to them upfront by nature.

Women, however, prefer things in the opposite gender that must be earned, and it takes time and hardships to get it -- and even then it's not guaranteed: money, life experience, leadership qualities, intelligence, knowledge, physical prowess (yes, muscles don't grow themselves, while a girl can stay fit without even going to a gym much, if she doesn't drink and doesn't eat junk food), charisma, good sense of humor, etc. All these qualities are developed. Thus, men in terms of having what women want to have must earn it, thus it's safe to say men must become self-made and can't be trust fund babies like women. Some qualities can't be earned at all (such as height), which means a guy must compensate even harder with other things to acquire a woman.

So men have only 2 choices: to either stay at the wall they were born at (which nowadays implies being average Joe), or work and move away from the wall. If he builds himself well, he still will have tons of attention from all sorts of young women for long-term relations, and she'll behave well, because she'll be afraid to lose him if she starts any bullshit with him. But if we flip genders? Barely, if ever.

Does this answers your question fully?

Lliam · Accepted Answer

Not even. I don't know what the wall is. I guess for some guys it means beyond optimum child bearing age. I never cared about having kids, so that issue was never important to me.

I did read that, although women are sexually active during adolescence, they reach their peak orgasmic frequency in their 30s, and have a constant level of sexual capacity up to the age of 55 with little evidence that aging affects it in later life.

One study showed that women between 27 and 45 had more frequent and more intense sexual fantasies than younger or older women. They also had more sex and were more likely to have it sooner in a relationship.

Although some guys think women are at their most flawlessly beautiful between their teens and mid-20s, the fact is that many women age very well. They may even reach their optimum in their 30s. To get an idea, look up female celebrities in their 40s and 50s. Some of them look magnificent without surgery. If a woman takes care of herself and is blessed with good genetics, she can look amazing into her 50s.

Besides that, as men age, they can appreciate women their own age. So women will always be appreciated. It's mostly young men who think women hit a wall.

Of all my girlfriends, the sexiest one was 30 when I was 36. She was gorgeous; my idea of the feminine ideal.

I met my future wife when I was 40. She is 2.5 years younger. At 37, she was beautiful. Now that we've been married for going on 27 years, I still think she's beautiful even though we have both aged.

wolfcat87 · Accepted Answer

People who are obsessed with women hitting walls are always jealous incels. 🙄 It's an attempt to make women feel insecure so those men can feel better about their own insecurities.

What does hitting the wall mean? It usually means the point where there's no improvement after, and it's all downhill from there. In incel speak, it means the point when women become undesirable.

The problem with that is women never become undesirable. There are elderly hookers, there's elderly porn, cougars, milfs, sugar mamas, old folks homes with high std rates because they are having so much sex, etc. As multiple men have told me, a woman can be disabled, missing her arms and legs, ugly, and elderly. Some men will still be trying to date that woman. While a perfectly healthy young man will still often struggle to find one woman who wants them. It's incomparable. 😆 In that sense, most women never "hit the wall" in terms of being wanted and desirable.

People also mistake the fact that women lean towards older men as meaning we think they look better older. Completely unrelated. Older men tend to be calmer and have more money, but they certainly don't usually look better or have bodies that work better than men in their teens and 20's to most women. With exceptions of course. They fall apart faster than women, and their sperm count drops drastically at the same time female fertility begins to drop. But, this explains where the false idea that men peak later comes from. 🙄

When people peak or hit a wall really just depends on lifestyle and genetics. Some won't hit a wall until 70, some never really do. Some peak in their teens and go downhill drastically by 20. Putting it in general terms is dumb, because people are so different. But, if we had to average it outI would say both men and women gradually decline after 50 maybe (in in my 30's and most of us are doing pretty well at this age) and most don't really hit any wall.

I'll post pics of women in my family, because they age so slowly that people can't even guess their ages.

Do you think it’s true that women hit the wall at age 30, and men hit the wall at age 40?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

personally would say if all goes well (like you dont gain weight and let your fashion/grooming go because of kids and stuff) for women it's maybe around 41-42. for the luckiest ones, maybe 45. for guys i think also if you dont let yourself go would be around 45-47, and if you exeptionally take care of yourself like gym and are lucky maybe 53. beyond that you're done

though i think more commonly though for women it's whenever they have kids (a lot of them gain weight and dont loose it, plus stretch marks and all that fun stuff, also because they need to take care of infants and toddlers they can't be as cute fashion wise and beauty wise as before for a lot of women) so late 20s - early 30s. if they dont have kids or they bounce back from pregnancy/keep up their grooming then its what i said above, early 40s

for dudes its whenever they start to have more than slight receeding hairline, a dad bod and dress like shit. so sometime in their 30s, probbaly more mid-late. if they dont have that then its mid-late forties

though disclaimer, maybe i think this way because i'm young so dont get mad lol. there's biology and stuff but its also subjective. like i remember when i was 13 i though boys hit the wall at 18/19, when i was 15 it was 22, and at 18 it was 25. and yea obviously as you know that ain't true especially for the 18/19 & 22

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Some people allow themselves to transform into old people, and some people continue living the same life they have always lived. Eventually, age catches up with everyone, but for many people, age is a self-imposed state of mind long before arthritis and all that other nonsense sets in.

MzAsh · Answer

No. The wall is a   narrative.

nightdrot · Answer

Nope. Refer you to Lady Margaret Thatcher - who became Prime Minister at age 54, and Ronald Reagan - age 69 - when elected.

Two of the most successful national leaders in my lifetime. (I was born at the end of the Kennedy Administration.)

If that is "hitting the wall," we need more wall hitting.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

People choose when to let themselves go for the most part. Like women at 30 for instance (talking about your option for that)... but let's take a step back from that and then just look at women that get married at 18... what are we going to see?

Everyone knows the meme about a woman getting fat after marriage.

I'm saying this as a 41-year-old man who still can't buy my alcohol without getting questioned about my age (it's why I prefer buying from places I'm known). But I lift weights or at least punch the shit out of Punch Bob 7 days a week. When it comes to a woman that just works maybe, goes home, and sits... yeah there is a range where age is a good guestimation... but ask any gym rat out there about that 50-year-old gym rat that even the minor dudes there agree that they'd 'hell-a-fuck' that shit.

What I'm trying to say... going sedentary speeds up the process. We play as kids and a lot of us slip into this bullshit 'sit on our asses lifestyle' unless a job or ourselves take us out of that pattern. Those that just follow the pattern... yes... you can really time when they're going to become a major reject in the sexual department.

At the same time... yeah time is going to be a predictor eventually. That's why someone like me is going to be having fun until maybe around 90 when other men that are not like me end up acting old around their 40's.

I'm getting my buzz on right now so don't take my rant seriously as if I'm all about this... I'm just saying some drunk shit and I'm gonna bang this Asian chick as soon as she gets back from Wallmart. Living my best life. 😂

BullShark · Answer

Seeing as how you may be young (and there's nothing wrong with that), "hitting the wall" basically refers to that point in a person's life when they've basically crossed their peak and stop becoming desirable to the opposite sex.

For women, it's commonly believed by most men, usually the ones who are redpillers and consider themselves part of the "manosphere" that it's when she crosses 35 and starts showing signs of aging; i. e she starts getting crow's feet around her eyes, signs of slight wrinkles around her forehead and cheeks, and her boobs begin to sag. Although, this is not true for everyone and there are plenty of men who are into aging women. There's a reason why milfs are well sought after by younger guys who like older women.

For men, it's unclear whether or not they ever hit the wall, allegedly, and it mostly all comes down to the ladies' preferences, again, just like in a woman's case. Some women are into older men. Some aren't.

So yeah, I'd go with the fifth option if there was one; "It's all bs".

Claire2002 · Answer

If I can summarize it pretty quickly, it goes like this:

- A lot of incels believe that if they put pressure on women and tell them thst their ovaries are drying out, they will fold down on a second choice and stay with an ugly incel

- A lot of women misunderstand this, are in plain denial because it's easier to pretend that we peak in our 40s, so they don't see that there is a half truth behind this. The half truth is that of course we decline, but not as fast as the incel says, out sex appeal never fades completely and that's not a reason to marry the ugly incel

But this doesn't make biology false. It's true that we all - males and femals - start declining from age 25. You see it athletes. Performance-wise they start declining at 25 and maybe they stay on too because they compensate with technique and experience.

Men and women decline from age 25, but the difference is that we women are liked for our beauty, and men are liked not only for their beauty but also for their personality and charisma and money. So don't misunderstand: it's true that men decline physically but they compensate with other qualities that are appreciated by women.

In terms of dating women hit the wall around 30-35, men around 40-45.

If there are cougar women they are they exception and this doesn't prove that they didn't lose attractiveness.

WindAtMyBack · Answer

There is no such thing as hitting the wall.

To read and answer this question, I obviously need to understand what people mean by it. Yes, people will eventually lose their looks as they age. But it varies so much, and is so subjective, that hitting the wall has no meaning.

Changes occur very slowly. They happen at very different rates. Some people get better looking with age, even into their 40s and 50s. A person's disposition, lifestyle and how well they take care of themselves have a major affect. Then of course there are genes.

There are plenty of women in their 50s and 60s who are better looking than a lot of women in their 20s. So where is the wall? There isn't one. There are only people.

The 57 year old woman I've been dating is very good looking. I didn't say good looking "for her age". I said she is good looking. She has a pretty face. She has some of the most beautiful eyes I've seen in my life. She is trim and keeps herself up. She's sexy. She's graceful. I think someone forgot to tell her about the so-called wall.

Some people sit on their butts all day eating snacks and watching TV or playing video games. They are not going to age well unless they have super good genes.

Anonymous · Answer

As a 42 year old I can tell you that it’s a mixed bag.

There is a reality to aging for sure. But there is a real reality is how people react appropriately to aging.

Some people completely give up, let their bodies go to shit, never want their picture taken, don’t take any new risks or adventures, etc. They also immediately count themselves out romantically. They won’t approach anybody who is semi attractive especially if they are younger.

Then on the flip side there are some people who are very immature and delusional. You can say they maybe “never grew up” or something. I think they are overly defying aging.

Anyway I well past the point of approaching college girls. Heck no. I am not going to hit on a random 19 year old. I know that’s creepy af. But I might (politely) say hello to a 28 year old.

Also I am not going to sell everything I own and go sleep on a beach tomorrow. But I am still working lots of side hustles and I got lots of ideas.

Also being a former pro fighter I will train 5 days a week if I CAN. But my professional career comes first now. I am not going to blow off work, risk my job just to train or go on random adventures.

Also I might occasionally put up a FB post of me doing a recreational activity. I actually have a VERY athletic body for my age but I haven’t put up shirtless pics in a very long time.

Anonymous · Answer

It is true of women and this should be obvious.

1. Fertility

The whole point of dating and marriage is reproduction. Whether you make an evolutionary or religious point of view is irrelevant. It's true in both cases.

Female fertility nosedives at age 30, making reproduction less likely. It makes sense that women of this age are, on average, less attractive to men.

This doesn't apply to men because men can still father a child even when older, though greater age of father is linked with a modestly greater chance of some genetic defects.

2. Already set in ways.

The longer you live, the more you develop opinions, habits, and values that you aren't willing to change. At an older age, women will stick to their guns on opinions and be unwilling to respect a husband who wasn't a part of shaping those opinions.

Couples who get married in their 20s will mature, discuss, and develop opinions *together*. The later people wait to marry, the more their marriage will be two people convinced they're each right trying to force the other into agreeing.

This one doesn't apply much to men either, because the general trend is for women to choose somewhat older "set" guys (4 ish years older).
Of these two points, fertility is the most relevant.

Anonymous · Answer

It's different for every individual. Hitting the wall basically means your dating options are declining rather than rising over time. On average, women DO see their options decline sooner than men do. If you focus only on "high value" women and "high value" men, then this is even more true, since a HUGE part of what tends to make a woman "high value" is physical attractiveness, which tends to peak in the early 20s and decline slowly and then more rapidly as a woman ages deeper into her 30s. And a HUGE part of what tends to make a man "high value" is career success and economic resources, which for most high value men tends to increase (sometimes VERY rapidly) into his 30s.

So yeah--on average, the statement is true, but OBVIOUSLY there are exceptions for individual cases. A great example on the "high value" man front would be the high-school star athlete. He's got the best dating options WHILE IN HIGH SCHOOL, often getting with the highest value girls in his school (think the star quarterback and the hottest cheerleader). But then everyone graduates, and he goes off to doing construction work and suddenly he's no longer the awesome catch to high value women in their 20s that he was to the high value teens he used to date. That guy hit the wall at 18.

Anonymous · Answer

There is no "wall", per se. But on average, men and women do hit their peak desireability at different ages. Studies show that women are at their peak at age 18, and begin to decline from that point forward. That decline begins to accelerate faster around age 30. Whereas men only begin to hit their stride at 30 and continue to increase in desireability until about 50.

From the largest study ever done on the subject...

"For women, the data suggests a steady decline in desirability as age advances. The average woman’s desirability, as perceived by men, appears to drop consistently from the age of 18 until she reaches 60. In contrast, men experience a different journey, with their desirability peaking around the age of 50 before gradually declining."

https://medium.com/@henderjosh/when-are-you-most-attractive-unveiling-the-truth-about-peak-sexual-marketplace-value-51e7838427e5#:~:text=The%20average%20woman's%20desirability%2C%20as,of%2050%20before%20gradually%20declining.

AmyHew1tt · Answer

Not from what I've seen. If you take care of yourself, you can look great throughout your life, man or woman. My mom is almost fifty, and she's gorgeous. More so than in her 20s if you ask me.

Not to generalize, but these days I'm seeing men hit the wall at 30 more often than women. Balding, dad bods, bad hygiene, and haircuts. So much of it seems like just not caring for themselves. Genetics play into things, of course, but even average people can drastically improve their looks by a little more attentive care to themselves, in all manners.

Regardless, I think 'the wall' itself is stupid. We enter new ages of attractiveness. Sure, when you're 60 you might not have the youthful beauty of a 24-year-old. But you can enhance natural elegant beauty, which is a lot more timeless as well. None of us should be afraid of aging. Instead of trying to stop the process, we should be learning how to maximize our different stages in life.

Apple1996 · Answer

Most men are born at the wall and never even get a chance to be attractive/desired tbh

Women are desired basically their whole life's. We don't even need to attractive.

The men talking about the wall tend to be the ones that are jealous of women for getting attention their whole life's while they ain't getting any attention.

JacobJordan · Answer

Wall is not actually a thing. Have seen women in their 60s that look better than women in their 20s. All of it comes down to choices. Make good decisions and you maintain that youth far longer than making bad choices. I am 39 and still get carded if I go to order alcohol because I have made good choice and I look like I am maybe 20. If I shave I look like a 14 year old. My wife also gets carded and she is a couple years older than me but because she also made good choices and takes care of herself she looks like she is early 20s

molonski2 · Answer

Women " hit the wall " condition dependent around 50 , menopause is the big black elephant , that just destroys many , but it's possible to go beyond for sure if you are very diet and exercise focused , and understand the killer that processed foods are.
Now , men can go vastly linger , but all the same stuff applies , they need to be highly sexual , diet and exercise processed , ready for action.
You need to compare yourself with these best and not be some slob sitting in a bar.
But to say women " Hit the wall " at 30 , that's not true , there best and most sensible years can be between 30 - 50 .
But the two real " wild cards " for women , and every woman is different are child birth , menopause, and weight control , these are the key to living well in later life.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I hit the wall years ago but I reversed it with knowledge. I had liver problems and took 50 different types of supplements and now I’m healthier than I was at 18. I also look younger cause I find vitamin B works better than lotion or retinol at clearing and smoothing out the skin. I have not reached my ideal body yet but I believe reaching it will be easy and effortless cause I’ve lost 6 pounds in 2 days before without exercise or hunger. I just have to wait it out month by month til I get there.

Anonymous · Answer

No it’s very true……. I know plenty of old women. That grew bitter. Over the years.

what makes women attractive is fertility, youth, beauty , Health.
And things that favor the young. once a woman crosses 30 , They have a lot more competition I personally don’t date or sleep with anyone over 28. And that’s not going to change Girls hate it…….. hey they have preferences So do I 🤷‍♂️ Il take a night in bed with a attractive 23 year old Vs Some half expired 33 year old……….

as for men, It’s only certain men. If you’re attractive. You get sweeter with age. Younger girls love salt and pepper. Especially if you’re in shape. And live a good life……. Good job, handsome, No kids……. You become prime relestate. In the dating world

I’ve seen it. And experience it. Even now. Younger girls are drawn to me like hot cakes. And the older ones put me off, No thanks

Avicenna · Answer

I think the issue for some men is her fertility. Many women can have kids in their early 40s.

RingOfFire · Answer

To be brutally frank, one of the key differences between men and women is that only women can bear offspring. So yes, 30 is a very significant age for a woman because it is when her fertility begins to decline. It is at its peak from her late teens to age 30 and then starts to decline making it less likely that she can bear children. So if "hitting the wall" refers to attractiveness to opposite sex I would say yes, most men find women under 35 to be in the most attractive age range. And that is not just arbitrary. Nature clearly designed men to seek out and be attracted to fertile women because that's the only reason we are able to be here today to discuss this.

FreyaRed · Answer

Youthful beauty disappears at age of 25, however lot of women transform in another type of attractiveness. I would call it classy beauty and this lasts a while. Some women look even beyond 40 attractive. However this is very individual and being tall and slender seems to bring some benefits. Fit body is always an advantage.
Men don't attract mainly with appearance, so that's why "wall" question is for them less relevant.

Do you think it’s true that women hit the wall at age 30, and men hit the wall at age 40?

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