Do you think suicide makes a person strong or weak?

[Simslover92]

Updates

12 d

Let me rephrase the question: Is it taking the easy way out killing yourself or does it show you have a lot of courage for doing something that not many could do to themselves?

[Still-alive]

Alright so i have been contemplating this question for awhile now and as someone who was once very suicidal im gonna say a few things

first it really really isn't anyone's place to call someone 'strong' or 'weak' for feeling how they feel. i mean you can think how you want but if there's someone in your life you know of going through this, leave these judgements in your mind and don't tell them to the person please. you have no idea what they are going though to get to that place where suicide seems like a 'reasonable' way out of whatever pain they are feeling.

And to further drive home that point the thing we want more than anything is to make the pain to stop. they will have very likely tried many many things to get it to go away (therapy, medication, hanging out with people, reading things, what have you) but nothing has worked and thus suicide starts seeming like the only way to get it to go away. I can also assure you that they are very much 'thinking of those they would leave behind' which is why a lot of times suicides fail is thanks to that. but those who succeed i can assure you it was a hard difficult fight for them and at the end of the day they just want peace, relief from the pain.

I also gotta disagree with your 'taking the easy way out' stance. i can assure you it is not 'easy' in any stretch of the imagination. just imagine yourself staring over a 50 foot or more drop staring into the abyss. its scary and anyone who manages to be successful... well it was likely very very difficult for them to actually do it.

So all in all i have to disagree with the majority of the people here saying its 'selfish' or 'weak' just spare them your judgement please. be more empathetic to what they are feeling. and if you do know someone personally like this the best you can do is be their for them. try to discourage them from going through with it while also understanding why they are in that place.

Anyways i dont mean to be too hard on you or anything, just as a suicide survivor myself i know what its truly like and wanted to clear the air about it.

[Simslover92]

I apologize. It was insensitive for me to word it that way. I also would like to say I'm sorry that you were once suicidal. I should not have posed the question in such a way. Again, I apologize.

[Still-alive]

hey don't worry. i understand where you're coming from. you want to help them out but it seems lots of people have this idea on suicidal people, i just wanted to speak up about it more. i think you have good intentions overall. so the best thing you can do to help someone like this is to just be there for them. just showing that you care can be enough in some circumstances.

[Simslover92]

Indeed I do. And I certainly will.

[Caroline91]

I hope you will never be on the precipice again. You're so right about how important it is to just be there for the person. Being there may be the only thing that makes a difference. In my experience, for the at-risk person, there can come a point in the whole ideation where it becomes a compulsion, at which point, it is very hard to back away from. Because someone cared enough to just be there may be the only thing that tips the balance back in the other direction and saves a life. Thank you so much for your post! Wishing you peace and happiness.

[Still-alive]

@Caroline91 yes im at a very peaceful time in my life now thankfully. Sometimes i think back to remember the lessons again. Thank ya!

[Caroline91]

Peace = balance, which is a very good thing, I think :)

[Still-alive]

Thanks 😊

[Caroline91]

@Simslover92 The way you respond to people is wonderful. I love that you are so kind.

[Simslover92]

@Caroline91 well I try to be because that's how I would want people to respond to me. I believe in the golden rule... treat people the way you want to be treated. And thank you! 😊

[LiamS95]

I think it's the saddest thing a human being can consider, being Christian, I believe my life's breath is in God's hands and it's his right to decide when my service on earth is completed, I have no right to kill my self.

[FatNeville]

I would say suicide is an indication that the person was strong. It shows that the person is willing to forgo any further joy that he or she may experience in his or her earthly life in order to reduce his or her burden on others. Though I'm sure that the option has arisen as a possible course of action in most people's lives at some point, not that many people are able to go through with the actual act when the time comes. I've been suicidal in varying degrees for most of my life, but there have only been a handful of times when I actually had the courage to make serious attempts to carry out such a thing. The instinct for self-preservation is very strong, and it takes considerable dedication and willpower to overcome it.

Slow and painful methods are rarely successful if insufficient steps are taken to restrict one's ability to back out prematurely should the person change his or her mind before the point of no return. In the film The Happening, the idea is explored of what might happen should something occur to negate this self-preservation instinct, though I doubt the actual result would be as overwhelming as the movie would suggest. At the same time, undertaking this action, which comes with intense, permanent consequences, may simply be a chosen course of behavior for someone when every other way of dealing with it that he or she can come up with is beyond their ability to withstand, and this may be seen as a lack of willingness to go through with unpleasantness, which could be perceived as the antithesis of strength.

In the novel The Moving Finger by Agatha Christie, there is a discussion about a woman who apparently was driven to suicide after receiving an anonymous letter. While some characters felt sympathy for the woman, another character believed that such a death was a fate that the woman would have experienced eventually anyway because of the kind of person she is:
"If suicide is your idea of escape from trouble then it doesn't very much matter what the trouble is. Whenever some very unpleasant shock had to be faced, she'd have done the
same thing."

Another school of thought holds that suicide is not actually a choice at all. Suicide, proponents hold, is what results when the pain and stress a person is experiencing reaches a severity that is beyond the capacity of what can be managed using the coping skills and methods available to the person in question. The probability of experiencing such a fate, therefore, can be reduced by reducing the distress in a person's life, by, e. g., addressing the stressors in a positive manner, and also by improving the person's ability to survive stress through learning new skills and strategies for dealing with stress in a positive, constructive manner.

Just so that there is no confusion, let me state that I in no way have any intention of glamorizing, promoting, or condoning self-destructive behavior. If you have a loved one whom you suspect of having suicidal thoughts, I encourage you to try to communicate with the person to figure out his or her frame of mind and remind him or her that other options exist and that hope remains. If you are feeling suicidal yourself, know that you aren't the only one who has experienced thoughts of this kind, and that in the vast majority of cases it is possible to survive through the troubles you are now experiencing. Don't do something that you would regret if you were to have the ability to regret things. There is still hope. Talk to someone whom you trust, or make use of a suicide hotline or web chat service to assist people in your situation.

May you all be aware of the love that even strangers may feel toward you, and never forget about the potential for joy in your future.

[PeachyPie93]

I don't think it is strong or weak to kill yourself.

I have been there many times myself, having that feeling and playing out the ways I will do it in my head. But I always feel bad about the person who will find me and my family. To self delete is not cowardly and it isn't something strong, though I must admit it takes a lot of courage to actually do it. The thing that stops me from doing it the most is 'What if you don't die?' You are gonna be more fucked then you already were😂

Sometimes you are just sick of life and want everything to stop, other times you are just bored and don't see a point to going on. Other times you just can't handle things in life, stress, love, mental issues and you need out so badly that you are just desperate for peace. I had a full mental breakdown and lost my shit 2 years ago, I was constantly on edge, constantly wanting to off myself, I was getting in to drugs and trying to find something that would stop my brain from running, but nothing helped, until I went to the doctors. When someone wants to d*e it usually is to stop their suffering or pain, but sometimes it is just you feel lost and bored with things since you have no purpose. So really it isn't something you should judge people on since we all struggle.

[FatNeville]

The "What if I don't die?" question is the big thing for me, too. While I know of people who have lost loved ones and been very deeply pained by it, and some of these people (claim to) love me, so I try to do whatever I can to spare them having to experience similar trauma. However, when all I can think about is the pain I'm experiencing, the question of what will happen to me is a big one. At the very least, a failed attempt could send me back into a mental hospital that will simply make me experience more of the fear that is so painful to me and, at the same time, usually cut me off from some of my go-to coping strategies. A bigger concern for me is that I will experience a lot of pain that may arise from attempting to inflict a deadly injury upon myself and that that injury won't even result in my death right away. It could just give me more pain over a longer duration, and make things more difficult if, e. g., I were to chop off one of my legs. Then I have to try to do things with one leg. Perhaps people who want me to remain alive are fortunate that I haven't come across a quick, painless, foolproof, guaranteed way to put myself out of my misery.

[FatNeville]

I'm sorry that you have been in the same kind of place mentally and emotionally. No one deserves to have to experience that. People who have never been to the point where they feel like that is the only one way to find peace have no business judging others for being desperate for unbearable pain to end, or whatever it is that they need so badly to resort to such an extreme measure. I've been told that it's "a permanent solution to a temporary problem" like that's a bad thing. For me, it's generally a solution to just about all of my problems, and it will make it so I don't have to deal with any more problems in the future, which I would probably just mess up anyway.

[FatNeville]

You say, "... nothing helped, until I went to the doctors." I can only hope that that means that you were able to get the help that you needed. While I'm sure the opinion of some weirdo on a website means very little, I can only say that I'm glad you were able to find a way through your circumstances, and you have nothing but the greatest wishes from me that you won't need to consider self-harm ever again. (Sorry about the multiple replies. I chopped my thoughts up by paragraph because the whole thing was too long for a single reply.) May your life be full of peace and joy.

[Caroline91]

There is so much to unpack in what you just said. It is just beyond me. I think you put your finger on a good one, though -- purpose. People need to feel there is a purpose to life -- their own life, in particular. That's sure what got me there the two times I was walking on the edge. And I think one other big thing is connection. If we feel connected to other people, to life. You make me just want to hug you!

[FatNeville]

@Caroline91 After reading what you wrote in your opinion, I wanted to hug you, too. I think it's important for each person to feel validated, loved, and, like you said, connected. Sometimes people invest too much of their self-esteem or even their self-worth into their achievements and accomplishments. But there is a need for interaction with other people as well. I wish I could describe what I mean better, but perhaps I'll think of something later.

[Caroline91]

@FatNeville I think you expressed yourself very well. This is such a difficult subject.

[FatNeville]

@Caroline91 I appreciate that.

[PeachyPie93]

@FatNeville Yeah the surviving an attempt is scary for sure because you don't know what the damage would be and the consequences of what happened will cause. I am also sorry to hear you have seemed to gone through so much. I can only hope things are getting better for you, since life can be rough. But yeah I got some pills that numb my brain to feelings so I can chill out a bit, I defo still need counselling but I am not ready for that right now. And thank you for the well wishes I hope nothing but the best for you in your life, and that you can keep your chin up! (sorry I took so long to reply, I was kind of not sure how to lol)

[FatNeville]

@PeachyPie93
Thank you. I think things are improving for me. And with the nature of my replies, I don't blame you for being a little unsure!

[SomothErgai]

Well, it's kind of both really.

And neither.

It really depends on the situation. If you imagine someone who is terminally I'll or just, for whatever reason, has a life filled with unending pain and suffering. And that pain is never going to stop. Then I can see suicide as a logical and preferable option.

And being that we live in a country that does not permit assisted suicide your only choice is to have someone do it for you, and condemn them to being guilty of murder. Which can really fuck some people up.

Or you can do it yourself. Which, even though it's what you want, can be extremely scary. Your options for doing it painlessly and without making a mess are extremely limited. And then you have to consider the people who will find your body and what they will have to deal with after that

Yeah, that's a hard, tough decision that not a lot of people would be able to make. So in that sense it would take a lot of strength to go through with it.

On the other hand people who have lives that could very well improve with the right steps just giving up and jumping off something high or putting a gun in their mouth or however they choose to do it. Doesn't seem all that strong to me. And I honestly have very little sympathy for these type of suicides.

Everyone has trauma. Some worse than others. Though it isn't a competition. You just deal with it and push through until you reach the end of that dark tunnel. And there is an end. All one needs is the strength to keep walking.

[Caroline91]

Sometimes a person can't just keep walking. It's a good mind set if it gets you through, but sometimes a person really can't see any light at the end of the tunnel. I'm not saying there is no light there, but the person can't see it. Yes, we all have trauma but who's to judge whose trauma is worse than another's? I think just living in today's world is traumatizing for all of us. And I think what makes the difference is that we all have different capacities to tolerate trauma.

[SomothErgai]

@Caroline91 well as I said it isn't a competition to see who can get the most sympathy. But since you asked, I think it's pretty easy to judge who has it worse when you look at the details.

Just take a case where someone is emotionally abused. It is objectively worse if they were to also be physically abused. But they are both equally deserving of empathy and protection.

That said I disagree that some people can't keep walking. Of course they can. And they do until they make the final decision to take their own life. Which they COULD not have done.

In that way it IS taking the easy way out. By definition. It's harder to keep going. To endure through the pain until they do reach that light. Unseen as it may be from a distance.

[Caroline91]

I get what you're saying... but would you agree that we all have our breaking point? That point is different for everyone. Why is it that veterinarians are between two to four times more likely to die by suicide than the general population? Also, there is a strong correlation between numerous mental illnesses and the act of suicide or attempted suicide, so it is impossible to put all suicidal people in the same box. I just think it is a complex subject and very difficult to make generalizations about. You might be able to keep on walking while the next person may not. But, you know what? I can have my own ideas about it, but I can't really agree or disagree with anyone else's because as much research as has been done and as much as people have different ideas about the act of suicide, when push comes to shove, there's just too much we haven't figured out about it or there wouldn't still be so many suicides and attempted suicides. So, what I do think is it's a really good thing that it's no longer such a hush-hush subject and we are at least all talking about it. And to anyone who is or has ever been suicidal... my heart is with you.

[legman528]

Suicide makes you dead. But seriously, I don't necessarily believe choosing to attempt suicide makes a person strong or weak, but it is short-sighted. You have no way of knowing what lies ahead in life. I thought about suicide over 40 years ago. I'm so grateful I didn't commit it because I ended up having a wonderful life. The reasons are almost always temporary and do not call for a drastic, permanent solution. I do believe it takes a strong person to deal with those temporary situations and move on to better things though.

[ProbablyClueless]

I've known and heard of people commiting suicide for a variety of reasons. It seems like the act itself is less relevant to this question than why the person did it.

Is a person a coward for killing themselves instead of suffering through Lou Gehrig's disease? What if, instead of a mortal diagnosis, they're simply in chronic pain?

I think we can all agree that someone is a coward if they kill themselves to avoid aging or in response to a rough breakup, but there are other reasons that I think make a lot of sense.

[Still-alive]

thanks for showing some empathy here. appreciate it

[IslaTheWitch]

depends...

corpses are weak by definition...

if in the process the person somehow survived and changed their mind it will make them stronger.

If they survived totally against their will and now are scared to try again... they are weakened...

if they survived and are ready to try again... not much changed...

[Shgshshdg]

Weak. It’s much braver to try and face life struggles. When people commit suicide they are not facing their problems and struggles. They are running from it

[Shgshshdg]

I also thinks it’s selfish. I work with a woman and she is a very nice woman. I have known her for years. I once heard her say her daughter committed suicide and it made me feel very sad hearing that.
Knowing your child hated their themselves and their life so much they rather be dead must be dreadful for a parent to know.

[Simslover92]

Yes that is very sad and I do think it's very selfish.

[Shgshshdg]

I don’t have any children but I personally can’t think of a worse way to lose a child. Knowing your child hated the life you gave them so much they rather be dead must make you feel like a failure. Also knowing your child cared much more about their feelings than your feelings. Her daughter basically took away her own pain by killing herself but left her parents with a very painful life experience.

My uncle so my grandmothers son and my dads father died from cancer which obviously upset my grandmother and father but at least they both know he didn’t hate his life so much he rather be dead.

[Kingofkings1992]

@Simslover92 suicide is not selfish. Selfishness is doing something for your personal gain at the expense of others. A person gains nothing from ending their own life. it is a final act, and goes against every natural instinct a person has. By definition of selfishness, it cannot be selfish.

[Simslover92]

To the family they leave behind it is selfish especially if the family is not able to pay for the funeral. That's what I mean by it being selfish.

[avery58]

I think a bit of both. Suicide is someone running away from their problems, which is weak but it also takes some courage to kill yourself not knowing what lies beyond, if there's an afterlife and the what it's like

[SixFootSexy]

Giving up is weak, and if you keep going you can eventually find something to live for. Hopefully that something is transcendent and can't be taken away from you.

[goebenbreslau]

if you're religious, suicide is what strong people will do. because it's a big sin, which means you'll burn in hell for this. but if you're atheist, suicide is what weak people do to run away from their problems they cannot solve.
love the life, there is no problem a human being cannot solve.

[NotTacocaT6969]

Neither.


It makes them desperate to escape.

[JacobJordan]

Cowards be cowardly. If people want to off themselves just shut up and do it already you already too spineless for life stop trying to share what you are doing because you hope someone will step in and stop you.

[lightbulb27]

I'd say, it makes them dead.

It means they lacked the resources to overcome some emotional difficulty or physical reality. It could be either.

[andreasderjuengere]

It makes a person... obsolete :)

I see it as a pointless ending of a most likely pointless life.

I can do better.

...

Others apparently can not :D

[TonyMetal___86]

It's weakness because you couldn't fight your problems and chose the easy way to get rid of them!

Killing yourseld is a sin!

God gave you a life so you live it and use it till the end!

[Fireguy17]

Weak.
They don't take in account those they leave behind.

[Anonymous]

It makes them dead, and dead people are neither strong nor weak.

[RedInnocent69]

Well, if it makes them dead, it kind of invalidates the rest.

[Bklynbadboy12]

That's the easy way out living is hard suicide is weak asf

[Kingofkings1992]

Neither. it makes them a person who has a mental illness