Why do Americans say “can I have” instead of “please may I have” and rarely say thank you?

[Babyseal23]

I've been America 4 times and travelled mainly places such as new york , florida Orlando, Boston, north conway, cape cod, bar harbor.

One thing I've found really strange is when you guys order food you'll say "can I have?" not "please may I have?" I sometimes hear a "thank you" at the end of a order but commonly not and if the waiter says something like "would you like ice in your drink?" Its something along the lines of "yeah sounds good" not "yes please"

This is not be criticising American i just find it strange but then you guys are large tippers and have a big tipping culture so I guess your saying thank you through your wallets 😅 but I just can't bring myself to not say thank you and please and whenever im in America I get complimented on my manners.

I remember being in a bar once and after I finished my drink i bought my glass it back to the bar and tidied my table. The waitress looked at me like I was crazy and asked what I was doing and said I didn't need to do that. In the uk its very common to be this way even if its dying out now with the younger generations now but its the way I was raised.

I remember being on a bus once too and a little old lady got on and didn't have a seat so I gave her mine she said thank you and another lady told me how sweet that was of me to do that but in the uk thats literally common courtesy.

Im not saying Americans are rude people by all means. Most I've experienced in person are really lovely people and super kind but its always something that I found odd.

I remember being in the cheesecake factory and some women was teaching her son to order from the counter. Me and my husband thought to ourselves "well done her teaching her son to be independent" but then he didn't say thank you or please once and myself and husband kinda looked at each other like wtf. If we didn't do that especially as children we'd had got an arse whooping

[strateguy632]

Americans say “can I have” because it is brief. shorter than “please may I have". the second even feels weak begging.

asking 'can" makes it polite by asking permission. not assuming he can.

sure we had idiot teachers who complained.

student: can i go to the bathroom now?

teacher: i don't know can you?

me: he can if you let him!

dumb teacher: you have detention for speaking out of turn and disrespect".

[strateguy632]

in restaurants where we PAY, therefore say 'thank you' is socially wrong. we thank for gifts. not when we pay. similarly to beg please is socially wrong when we pay.

[Iron_Man]

I’m always saying thank you I just don’t use the word may. sometimes I say, would it be possible for me to get etc etc. and I always say thank you

[Babyseal23]

But do you say please? That's the one i dont hear very rarely. I think its probably annoying in other countries when us brits do it because we can tend to over do it just out of pure awkwardness and wanting not to look rude its also the same as when we constantly say sorry when there's nothing to he sorry about 🤣.

I remember being in Turkey and if you know Turkey you know the service industry is crazy over there. Like you go into a kebab shop and the staff are pulling your chair out for you 🤣 id constantly say thank you every 5 seconds and it was super awkward and I think the waiter was ready to tell me to shut up

[Iron_Man]

I seem to have a problem saying please, but I don’t have a problem saying thank you it’s like it’s a sign of weakness saying please. It’s like I’m begging I don’t know.

[strateguy632]

for good reason. here in america please is begging. only kids beg parents.
@Iron_Man
@Babyseal23

[Iron_Man]

@strateguy632 that’s what I just said that’s why I don’t say it. But I will say thank you a lot.

[Anonymous]

😆😆😆 going to some of the rudest cities in the Americas and expecting politness is about as futile as going to the middleeast and expecting religious tolerance.

[Babyseal23]

I have noticed it more in the cities for sure but even i places like cape cod and North conway I picked up on it too and some of their towns are tiny

[Opinion Owner]

Not all of America is that way. Some places like the midwest are slower and more laid back. But keep in mind the United States is a capitalistic society. People are used to getting what they want and not wanting to wait for it. It breeds a bit of an entitled attitude.

[Paige2006]

I don't like either one

[Mike_Hum]

Yeah. I one cares.