Is working with your significant other at the same company a good or bad idea?

[Thermia]

Hi, I've recently reached a bit of a dilemma. I received two job offers after I graduated last week, and one of the job offers is the same company where my boyfriend works.

It pays more, has more benefits, and is closer to where I live compared to the other job offer, but I'm worried about what would happen to my relationship if I started working with my boyfriend. Does anyone have any experience or advice on what the risks are when working with a significant other? OR should I play it safe and take the lesser paying job for the sake of my relationship?

[MrOracle]

I wouldn't recommend a position where you work with him DIRECTLY, and especially not one where one of you reports to the other or are in each others' chain of command. That's a conflict of interest that will bite you eventually.

Other than that, you can do it, especially if you won't be interacting much. I just warn people who want to date at work or work with their S.O.: imagine you have a horrible breakup, but even though you hate him and he hates you, you still have to go to work every day and potentially work with him there. Could you handle that? Because that's what actually happens a LOT of the time.

Another consideration is this: if the company takes a dive, you could BOTH be out jobs at the same time, whereas that's less likely if you work at different companies. And depending on the company and what your individual jobs are, it might be difficult or impossible to get time off at the same time, which would suck if you can't go on vacation together.

Weigh those issues against the better pay, benefits, and commute, and make your decision.

[TheUglyOne]

All depends. Will you be working together or different departments? If the other place of work is big enough, it is entirely possible you guys won't even see each other on the job - particularly if you are in different fields. I'd look into that first, before deciding. If you are going to be together all day, then I could understand your concerns, but if the job also offers better potential for advancement, that's asking a lot for you to sacrifice for his sake. What if you guys do end up breaking up six months down the road, say?

That said, I've heard where BFs/GFs even husbands/wives working together creates a whole new level of tension which has cause relationships to end. So it also depends on how close you are to your current BF.

[Thermia]

It's a very small new company so my office would only be a few feet away from his. I'd be seeing him a lot over the course of a week.

[musicbrain5]

My parents have been working together at the same hospital for 15 years now, and they currently work in the same area (this wasn't always the case though). If you choose to work at the same company your boyfriend works for, then you need to ask him how he feels about you working there. If he's cool with it, then set guidelines on how you should behave around each other at work. Office romances are tricky, and sometimes companies themselves are funny about employees dating each other (though I think that is fairly rare).

Just know where you both stand on this issue regarding how to act around the other person, how you feel about working together, and what should happen if you break up (yes, that's a negative thought and it may not ever happen, but you need to be prepared.) My parents outlined this for themselves and it's worked for many years now (although they are married so the feeling might be different).

[Anonymous]

its the worse thing you can do! you women don't know how to leave your problems at home. You'll bring it to the work place and get both of you'll fired. Especially if you live together there is no time apart from one another. Which will cost you guys to get tired of seeing each other and want to just get away from them. No its a bad Idea!

[kataloso]

All things being equal it's probably not as ideal to work at the same company...but it shouldn't be a deal breaker.

I'm at a similar age & career position as you and my advice would be to focus primarily on the best career opportunity. The rest should take care of itself. And for example, if it's really a huge problem working at the same company as your guy, perhaps being married/living with this person wouldn't work out so well either.

Of course I'm not suggesting it will turn out bad like that, but just keep things in perspective and don't let the relationship have too much influence on your other personal decisions. Part of a good relationship is when each individual has freedom to live their life in a way that is best for them, but also in a way that works with their partner. Good luck.

[Prof_Don]

Don't let the relationship stop you from making the better career choice. If the job where your boyfriend works is a better choice...i say do it.

Discuss with him your feelings, to make sure there are no misunderstandings about what each of you require (such as no PDA at work, eat lunch together or separately, etc.)

[M_A_X]

It's really not the best idea. Even animals are smart enough to not sh*t where they eat.

[papercut2]

Don't hold yourself back just for the sake of your relationship