Have I Hurt Him, Is This Why He Is Ignoring Me?

Question

My ex-boyfriend split up with me over a month and a half ago now. I met someone else and starting dating them literally a week after are split of being together for over a year. I thought this would be ok seeing as he broke up with me. We were still in contact, and he finally said to me he wanted to try things over again, and I stupidly told him I'm seeing someone else, but I will end it with them just to give us another chance! He now won't talk to me, I don't know whether this is because I have hurt him telling him I was with someone else, and now he hates me. I have given him 2 weeks not contacting him. but I still regret how things have turned out and want to talk to him. but I don't think he wants to no any more. but if he really wanted to start things over again why would he now ignore me?

C_aleb · Accepted Answer

okay let me tell you from a guys perspective who is going thru the exact same thing at this very moment, I broke up with my girlfriend she cheated on me but not like sex it was just dancing with some guy at a club I thought if she can do this while I am here what will she do when I am not here. okay so the breakup between us is justified we dated for 9 months till that we were very in love first lovers in fact, after 3 weeks I wanted her back I said I love you I'm sorry that wasn't that big of a deal, she says nope I moved on there is nothing to bring back, turns out she has been in another relationship for 3 weeks, I was crushed that hurts more than her saying no because how can someone who loves me who I put my needs before hers just throw it all away in 3 weeks? he obviously wants you back but he doesn't know how he could take you back because the fall was so hard he can't even pick himself up again, it really crushes a mans confidence if someone they loved could just toss it out like garbage for another, I'm not being rude or anyting but youve been pretty selfish you thought about your needs you rebounded, you can always fix a broken heart only if your the one the heart has been givin to, if you time will heal a broken heart, so don't make the mistake in waiting too long, maybe it has been too long, but if he really wanted this and you put the most effort in and show him that you really need him he will like that.

Dubfire · Accepted Answer

Forgive me but I don't feel sorry for the situation that you are in, as I'll be pretty upset if I was in him. No contact might not be a good idea in your case since you're the one who messed up. I'm not too sure how long you've been dating before the break up but if its any longer than six month then it's way too quick, whether it was him that broke it off or not.

I would try to get in touch with him and explain the situation, tell him that you've messed up and would like to give things another try and then give him time and space to respond. But I wouldn't over do it, like calling him 15 times or leaving 30 txt msgs or 50 emails, anyway you get the point.

unsure2009 · Accepted Answer

you played him out by dating someone new a WEEK after you guys broke up

trust me, he's hurt.

and then you told him you'd end it with the new guy to get back with him. well that just makes it seem like you can drop someone as soon as something better comes along. I'm not saying you are like this, but that is the impression I get here.

if you want to talk to him and iron out things, try contacting him again, but don't be surprised if he wants nothing to do with you at the moment.

no matter how much he feels for you, he's hurt, you played him out and pride takes over. nobody wants to have their heart crushed over and over. take it from someone who just went through something very similar.

click11 · Accepted Answer

yeh you cut down his pride your not supposed o rebound that fast.  so yeh he's probably mad and kinda almsot feels cheated specially if he didn't consider you guys all the way broken nup.  anyway if you wan't to get back together with him, call him break up w/whoever ur with now if ur gonna do that.  but if you don't want to break up w/who ur with now then leave him alone,  because he won't be happy if ur callin 4 sumthin diff.

enlightenment · Accepted Answer

b/c he doesn't know what he wants and is trying to bring you down too.  Do what you want hunny, he dumped you don't let him get into your head just because you were trying to move on.  That's what people do!  Screw him, he wants  the best of everything.  Tell him no time left to waste!

WiseGirl · Answer

Do not listen to any of the guys on here they are full of it!

He broke up with you, you had every right to move on, a week later, a month later, doesn't matter. For all you knew he was totally finished with you. But of course the guys on here are blaming you because they tend to put their needs first and this thread is proof... lol

Don't go chasing after this guy, he was in the wrong NOT you. If he wants you he needs to work for it.

jon-lefty · Answer

no don't give him a second chance he broke up with you. you found some one that does want to be with you. he had his chance and if he can't deal with it then his loss

Anonymous · Answer

if you want to talk to him, you have to say something that he wants to hear.  So if you do want to get back together with him you need to find a way to tell him that.  If you don't want to get back together then leave it alone.

Have I Hurt Him, Is This Why He Is Ignoring Me?

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