Are Shy Men Capable of Being "Real" Men?

If he is shy in his youth, he can break out of it by his adulthood. But if he is still that shy by 20 or 22, chances are good that he'll be that way for a long time, if not all his life.
If you don't have a problem with that, that's fine. But if you don't like it, you may want to keep your options open when it comes to guys.

Another thing to keep in mind is the question of authenticity. When dealing with personal relationships, most people wish to be able to be themselves, with the good and the bad included. This creates an extra vulnerability that makes a shy person even more frightened of rejection.

In "real life" most of us have little plastic characters that we use to do our jobs, argue with our mechanics, etc. One's emotional core is rarely on the line so people who are timid in one domain may be quite assertive in another. I worked as a bank teller in my younger and more poverty stricken days. I spent about a year working in a rich community and about a half year in a middle class community. The men from the rich community were, nearly to the lost one, softer, quieter, and more considerate compared to the middle class group.

As for sexwiseman's comments, I see his point, but you, as the woman, are in a position to determine how you act in a relationship and what you value. Some women view getting their way as a man's weakness, others perceive the relationship as emotionally fulfilling. My guess is that difference is largely related to where the girl is at in her life and what she wants or needs from the relationship.

And what's a "real man" anyway? Where did that idea come from? Is it coming from human nature (which is full of gentle men and aggressive women as well as aggressive men and gentle women)? From the Fox Network? (:

I suppose the answer to your question lies in what your definition of a "real" man is... Many individuals are at first awkward in social settings or one on one meetings. Does it make them any less of a man? I doubt it. Does it mean they can't handle real life situations? Doubt that as well.

You'll find seemingly confident people who would falter at the first sign of an emergency or any stressful situation.

As for you running all over him in a relationship... Your sister and boyfriend may be right if he is particularly shy around you as he may be afraid to stand up to you or worried to hurt your feelings hence he'll repress his own.

Question, are you dating this guy or you are just both admiring each other from afar for the time being?

This is a tough question because everybody is different.
Example 1: Eli Manning, QB/ NY Giants-people were saying up until the last football game of the season, if Eli would ever come out of his shy shell of letting his teammates speak for him, when was he going to be like his big brother Peyton? Then in the last game of the regular season, he faced the patriots, and damn near beat them, and in watching that game - you saw Eli take over the team with his body language, his tenacity, and his courage, he wasn't giving up. And he went on to win the Super bowl. This was because he was faced with a choice of "do something about losing, or just lay down for the NE Patriots, who were undefeated. Now, it took two tries to gain the glory that Eli Deserved, because if he didn't win the super bowl, he would still greatly be compared to his older brother, instead of making a name for himself, and sitting in his brother's shadows.

So, I can't come up with any non-sport related examples, but mainly I think it comes when a person is faced with putting themself in an uncomfortable situation and rising to the occasion, or just settling for being content with being uncomfortable. *Oh I got it! , say you got a wallflower at a dance, and the next dance, he can either learn how to dance (so he can, with a girl) or remain a wallflower. It's really how comfortable he wants to feel, if it makes him really uncomfortable, he may not go to the next dance.

I think it depends on the guy, but I don't think being "shy" have anything to do with how you handle real life situations. there are outgoing guys that messes up just as much if not more, and they are probably more blatant about it.

If the guy is only shy around a certain girl, it just means he likes her but is afraid of being rejected. If the guy is shy in general, then that's something he needs to work on if he wants to have a "normal" life experience, but it doesn't mean he is incapable of handling his business. "Strong, silent type" or even "mysterious" could be associated with the shy persona.

No, I stick up for myself just fine in situations. Approaching women is just a situation of being afraid of rejection.

As a painfully shy guy, I feel fairly qualified to answer this question.

Shy guys are not always, or even often, incompetent at dealing with real life situations. This is an image problem. By being shy around women, we project the image that we are equally timid in all areas of life. Not true. While I have a great deal of trouble with people, I am extremely competent around systems. I'm known as "Mr. Fix-it" around the house. Computers, plumbing, you name it. If you're willing to pick up the slack in social situations (or teach him how to handle them himself), this really isn't an issue.

As for letting you run all over him in a relationship, I don't think this is really predictable right now. How a guy behaves in a relationship can be totally different from how he behaves outside of one. If you want to find out what this particular guy is like, you'll just have to ask him out!

Hope this helps.

There is an old saying: If pushing does not work, try pulling. Meaning: if he won't come to you, go to him instead.

Easy for me to say, I have been known to be overaggressive with women. *sob*

For sure you would run all over him cause shy guys don't understand how women function; if they did, then they would come up and talk to you. I used to be one of the shy ones, and yea, when I was shy, women ran all over me, and that's what finally led me to come out of that shy shell. As far as handling real life situations, it depends. If they are only shy with women, then I don't think is a problem; but if they are shy over all, then yea, they might not handle certain situations well. And yes, with 'training' shy men can be real men, but they must wake up and smell the coffee as they say!

Do agree with you! Some times a real man can be shy not only certain shy guys. Some times a man is shy because he is so polite or so confused because of the girl. I believe in the effect of the first look and believe me some times it makes the bravest men unable to say any thing :-)

Cheers

I think that you are right because they just nervous around people. It does not mean that he can't handle situations.