Female Myth Debunking #1: Women Like Jerks

SugaSpice09
I often hear men throwing out statements such as: "Women want guys who are jerks toward them". While our behavior may appear to show that, men who think this are missing the context of the situations where you see such behaviors displayed.

Most of the time, when you see females who seem to pine after jerks, there is a history there (however small or seemingly insignificant) which transpired before the guy reached this "jerk phase". What does this mean? It means that you are probably looking at a female who began talking to a guy (either romantically or merely on a platonic level) and he was showing all of the signs that we females think translates to a guy's interest.

He was flirting, probably making physical contact, acting like the all-around "good guy" and this lead the female to begin her interest in him and her fantasy of where it could possibly lead. Somewhere along the line, the male stopped showing such affections. Either he was flirting with her just for flirtation's sake or he was genuinely only trying to be a friendly guy.

The reason is irrelevant to the situation. The point is that the attention stops and the female is left wondering what happened, why and just how much of the attention was genuine and how much was merely convenience. By this time however, the guy is left in an awkward situation and probably cuts off contact with the female who at this point is just wondering what happened to the friendship and she begins her pattern of pining away for the guy who is completely blowing her off. She is pining for him NOT because she loved being treated like a discarded Kleenex, but because he did not end things appropriately (and probably didn't handle things appropriately in the first place) she is left holding out hope that whatever she thought was between them could start back up again.

Is it misguided? Perhaps. But it has nothing to do with liking the guys who show no interest, most of the time, it is wondering why guys who seemed to show an interest at one point are no longer doing so. Especially without the courtesy of an adult conversation.

This is not to say that there are not females who just genuinely have such low self-esteem that they want any attention from a guy however self-destructive it may be. But I guarantee you MOST females are NOT that way at all. I can also guarantee you that these are not total strangers who walk into a bar, flip us off and turn and walk out. I mean really, what female would go running after him? We'd call him an asshole to our group of girlfriends and turn our attentions back to the other guys in the bar.

This is meant to illustrate that when you see a female hung up on guy who does not want her and appears to be acting like a jerk toward her, it is not as simple as that. There is a history there and a deeper reason as to why that female is hanging on. Eventually we get the hint and most of the time it's when that genuine GOOD GUY comes along who has the right words and the behaviors to back them up.
Female Myth Debunking #1: Women Like Jerks
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