Breaking up with my live in boyfriend of 3 years. Am I doing the right thing?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. Living together for 2 1/2. I adore him. I was originally attracted to his amazing sense of humor. He could make me laugh like no other. I was not thinking how hot he was. I was thinking how funny he was. And that made me begin to fall for him.

I want to be with him forever. BUT, I am going to break up with him. That sounds so crazy. Breaking up with someone I am madly deeply in love with. All day today I have been going over things in my head and I keep coming back to the same thing.

Deep down. I am not fully happy. I used to do everything for him. Cook, clean, do his laundry, plan fancy dinners out. I am a really sexual person and being I was so attracted to my boyfriend I did things for him I have never done for anyone else. I have had 3 sexy photo shoots during our time together to have photographs taken of me just for him. Maxim like photos. He loved them. It would not be out of the unusual for him to come home to me cooking him dinner in lingerie and heels. I let him videotape us. I honestly think we have had sex every day that we have been together except for very rare occasions. I fufill him. I know I do. He is happy as a clam.

He is good to me. He tells me I am beautiful, For the most part he is respectful and I know he thinks I am hot. He is always drooling over me. But the problem is, and I have talked to him about this so many times in these past 3 years I can't count. He has never taken me on a date. NEVER. He never takes me out to eat or anywhere. He never buys me gifts for special occasions. He does not even celebrate our anniversary. He never calls or texts out of the blue. Never reciprocates. Besides telling me I am hot I can't really think of anything he does for me.

I am not materialistic at all. I just want a boyfriend to take me out to eat chinese from time to time. Maybe to see a movie. Maybe buy me a gift. He works. He CAN. He just WON'T. And it makes me feel I am not important enough. He used to do such romantic things for other girls and when I asked why he told me because he was "chasing a girl and that's what you do when you chase a girl". He filled a girls car with helium balloons that said I love you once. He has it in him. Just not for me it seems.

I had pulled back some these last few months. Not doing so much for him.The only thing that changed was an extra text or two my way. Still no date. Still no romance. The final straw for me happened the other night. He came home and I was all decked out for him in a sexy lingerie outfit. Had cooked him dinner. The next day I didn't get so much as a thank you. I felt used. And stupid. I could be doing these things for a man who might take me out for dinner. Or give me a card for my birthday. I being silly? Would you give up a guy who thought you were the hottest thing to walk the earth and basically treated you good but never did ANYTHING for you? I am scared of regret. But I feel like a roomate. Not a girlfriend.


Most Helpful Girl

  • UGHHHH I've been 1 year with my boyfriend and I can't take it...ive tried all I can and tried to be nice and suck it up.

    then I explode and tell him that I feel like he doesn't love me like he said he did cause I never once got a small gift..even if it was worth a dollar. excuse was he had no job...okay I understand but he had enough money to buy games that were over 50$. like getting gifts from someone is like saying I was thinking about you. we stay home all day and he just wants to sleep or lay in bed all day. he won't walk up till 2 and then makes a stupid excuse like BUT WE HAVE NO TIME TO GO OUT! well whose fault is that right?

    i left gifts and surprises in his room and I listen to what he likes and ill buy it for him. but he never listens to me, he doesn't know what color I like and what my size is...i have clothes in his closet.

    give up on him...its been 3 yrs! how did you manageee?!? took you for granted.but what if he did it cause you never complained and fought about it. maybe he thought it was okay :(

    in a way you can't expect him to treat you the same way he did when he first met you. they usually run out :(

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      I can't say leave him because I'm on the same boat. 4 years and still nothing, bipolar relationship.. never once talked about our future, never once included me in any plan he makes, never has money to buy me anything not even a f***ing rose... but has money to spend on his car, his drugs and himself ONLY. and it sucks I am really unhappy its eating me up inside but I can't seem to leave him because I don't want to be alone, always cancelled my plans to be with him... I hope one day we all figure i

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      @Madam Rivera. You need to get some self esteeem and independence. Do not stick by this douche bag. There are a million single men waiting to plan a life with you

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      why do we girls always have to pick guys that only cares about themselves BLAHH I deal with it the immature way of course! treat him the same way and if he leaves...oh well! I only stay with people like that cause I have this feeling that every deserves a second chance or maybe it'd get better. if I left now id never know if he wouldve been a good boyfriend or not cause I didn't give him the chance. if I went to someone else ...same thing couldve happened.