This is a synthesis of my main ideas since joining the site. The focus is on the logistics and psychology of dating and how men can overcome the inequalities of a dating economy that is biased in favour of women. First, I describe the nature of the existing gynocentric dating economy. Second, I detail the machiavellian nature of female dating strategy. Third, I outline the male mating strategy required to overcome this. This will be my final article.
1. Gynocentric Dating
The 80/20 theory is a percentile representation of the aversion women have towards hypergamous polygyny. What this means is that 80% of women are more selective on the whole about their sexual and romantic partners than men, favouring high status individuals in a small minority (20% of men). The remaining men either have to downgrade
What makes these high status men so attractive? Some people attribute this to looks and physicality. Some people argue instead that these men have the greatest socioeconomic status and wealth. Others argue that these men are simply more confident. What constitutes female attraction is an essentially irrational phenomena however: researchers found over 200 reasons why women might find a man sexually attractive, and for the most part women were not even consciously aware that they were attracted. This means that any theory of what 'turns a woman on' should be taken with a grain of salt.
I believe confidence is the common trait we can apply to all men that are successful with women? Why? Because not only is confidence an attractive quality, but men with more confidence have the stomach to sift through potentially thousands of women rejecting them before they find a woman that is attracted to them (and vice versa). So in other words, confidence negates the fact that female attraction is irrational. In light of this, I highlighted some of the attributes in confident men or 'alpha males' that women find the most attractive in separate takes.
As a separate note, I also explained in much detail in one article that men at the very least have equal gender issues compared to women in society.
2. Machiavellian Female Dating Strategy
There is plenty of evidence that women are hypergamous and polygynous, therefore validating the 80/20 theory (but don't quote me on the exact percentages because it might not be as extreme as 80% and 20%). This is favoured to the ethical alternatives women have of non-hypergamous promiscuity and demisexuality which I highlighted in a separated take. For example, a study by Clark and Hatfield and another study replicated in 2009 proved that women were less responsive to casual sex requests than men. This proves greater selectivity amongst women, hence validifying hypergamous polygyny. Other studies which prove women prefer to 'date up' include evidence of selectiveness when it comes to physical attractiveness as well as wealth and status:
In a world where women have so much sexual bargaining power, men are left with the same old traditional dating advice:
- Buy her drinks
- Pay for dates
- Just wait and eventually the right woman will come along
- Pick a girl and commit to her
- Just be yourself
Typically this is advice that keeps the 80% men that can't get laid on a short leash while the high status men have their pick of women who have sex in their 20s then settle down in their 30s. When the lies and deceit covering this up get called into question, women know how to conduct psychological warfare through ideology. They will use every dirty tactic in the book, shaming men for their sexual desires, shaming 'nice guys', using slut-shaming as a defence (when nobody even knows about the woman's sexual history!), etc., etc. The harsh truth is, women just don't find these men sexually attractive and that they are significantly more selective than most men are, being inclined towards hypergamous polygyny.
3. Male Counter-Machiavellian Dating Strategies
Not everything is doom and gloom, however.
I already mentioned that it is largely unknown whether extrinsic factors are more attractive or intrinsic factors. That's why it's important to work on both, extrinsic being looks, money and socioeconomic status and intrinsic being a genuine, authentic confident mindset that is both attractive to women AND allows men to sift through larger pools of women in spite of rejection. @pavlove already wrote a fantastic take explaining why men should STILL try to be successful with women, even if only 1% of women find them attractive, but I can't find it, damn!
There are two books I recommend for physicality and confidence (specifically confidence for meeting and attracting women) respectively.
The first book is Mark Rippetoe's Starting Strength which emphasises the importance of building core strength and physical mass through the squat, bench, deadlift and overhead press, breaking down the form of each lifts in anatomical detail.
The second book is called Models and is written by Mark Manson. It highlights the importance of developing a genuinely confident mindset, meeting as many women as possible and attracting them by demonstrating vulnerability and pure honesty (stating attraction from the offset and never lying about one's intentions).
Also, take a look at some of the counter-traditional dating methods I highlighted in a separate take.
Conclusion: dating is objectively unfair for men, but can be overcome with a focus on self-improvement, meeting and attracting as many women as possible. It is important that men do not become deterred by the ugly fact of hypergamous polygyny while simultaneously acknowledging that the world does not owe them.