12 Thoughts I Have When I've Been Ghosted

The dating process is a roller coaster, and there's nothing worse than realizing the person you've been pursuing isn't feeling you anymore. Shooting over a text saying they've met someone else or letting the relationship slowly fizzle away from existence is never fun, but there's one method that burns more than any other: ghosting.

Whether you've been ghosted, or perhaps you ARE the one who ghosts (WHY do you do this?!), this one method of ending a fling is quite possibly the most frustrating way ever. As you sit there staring at your phone day after day wondering when their next text will come through, it's easy to get lost in a series of self-criticizing thoughts that go a little something like this:

1. Maybe his phone is broken

12 Thoughts I Have When I've Been Ghosted

2. Maybe my last message never sent. Should I resend it?

3. Maybe he accidentally blocked me

4. He hasn't viewed my Snapchat. Maybe he's swamped with work.

5. False alarm. He HAS viewed my Snapchat. Why hasn't he texted me?

6. I thought we had a connection. Maybe I imagined it and he didn't enjoy all of those dates with me.


7. Did I talk too much on our dates? Did he think I was annoying?

8. Did I sleep with him too early and now he thinks I am a slut?

9. Was I bad in bed?

10. Maybe it's because I was a brunette. Should I dye my hair blonde? Do all guys like blondes?

11. Will I be single forever?

12. I guess it's time to move on

Have you ever been ghosted? If so, how did you handle it?

If you've ever ghosted someone - Please tell us why!


0|0
31|30

Join the discussion

0/2500

Submit

What Guys Said 30

  • I ghosted someone once. And reading this reminds me what an asshole move that was and re-commit to myself to never do it again!

    Great take :)

    1|0
    0|0
  • I've ghosted and been ghosted, but in my defense people do it to me more than I do it to them.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Well I guess that's a good way of looking at it. Hopefully now you won't ghost anyone again - trust me, it blows.

    • how is that a defense? unless the people who ignore you are the ones you ignore?

    • @Azara it's a vicious circle, haha. Girls ghost me and hurt my feelings, and I end up being spiteful and ghosting girls to hurt their feelings.

  • i hope people realize that ghost or ghosting is a thing, before people started using it to reference other people suddenly disappearing, which made the title of this post so fucking confusing lol.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I don't think I have ever ghosted anybody I try to be straight with people - Have I ever being ghosted - It is like you wrote that take just about me , I am exactly like that with a girl I like when things are going south and there is radio silence.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I can admit that I once went dark with a girl I was chatting with. Since it has now been several months, I'm assuming she wasn't ever really interested since she hadn't made an attempt to contact again.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Looking back i think a few guys did this to me before. i thought they had just moved on to other people or didn't see me as important enough, so I didn't message anymore!

    • Show All
    • As long as he is trying to get a job and is determined then its okay. There's a difference between a guy who dosen't have a job cause he just doesn't want one, and a guy who doesn't have one but he has been searching and handing out resumes and hoping to hear back from people and has plans and goals for his future.

    • @Ivanafoster1212 even if I am the later, I still don't think I'm desireable enough on the dating market. So I did her a favor in my opinion.

  • Been ghosted, but I already had my shields up so I was okay. If she ever cares to find out, she's been ghosted, too.

    0|0
    0|0
  • After reading this... I'm still not sure I know what ghosting is.
    Is it when they don't contact you again?

    I have friends online who don't contact me, and I don't contact them, but if some certain thing is happening, or one of us happen to think of the other, we'll contact the other person.

    It's like that list of family members, you know they are there, but you have no actual reason to contact them unless there is a family reunion or someone has died or something.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I don't even know what being "ghosted" means.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Dating is not a rollercoaster it's a science, if you follow the rules you'll get your desired results.

    0|0
    1|0
  • I've never really ghosted anyone in the way you've described. The worst I've ever done is not called at all and that's mostly just because I get caught up in other stuff. Then a week later when I'm ready to get out there again I remember "Oh yeah I got that girls # last weekend, but then I feel like it's too late and then I go out and do it again...

    I feel like that's an expected pitfall for women just like getting a fake number is for dudes.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I suffer from depression and ghosting for me is usually when I'm hitting a hard depressive cycle. Times when i just feel ugly and unlovable, and thus deeming anyone naive enough to find me worthy as too good for me.

    3|0
    0|0
    • Are you the ghoster or the ghostee? I have depression too, same ugly and unlovable feelings but I'd never ghost anyone but I've been ghosted more than enough :/ just confirms that I'm ugly and unlovable.

    • @Blonde401 I'm the ghoster. I cloister myself, avoid friends, ignore responsibilities and disappear from new romances. During those cycles i feel like I'm ruining everybody's lives i touch so i disengage.

    • @Blonde401

      don't you dare say you are ugly and unlovable...
      you;re anti that!

  • I use to be an accidental ghoster.. I'm a software engineer, and have my own projects outside of work that I work on quite a bit. Which takes up a lot of my time.

    My ghosting was mainly due to me getting caught up in projects, and working 15+ hour days on my own accord, and just being oblivious to my surroundings for the longest time. I'd go on dates with a girl. Then a buddy and I would start a new project, and I would lose track of time and then a week would pass by without me contacting them.

    I know now that that was never an excuse, but a reason. However, it's the honest truth, and building my career was the most important thing to me at that time in my life. When I finally got to the point of being content in my career. I stopped ghosting, and now im married.

    3|0
    2|0
  • Lol haha at 10 xD

    0|0
    0|0
  • when I was a teen I ghosted yes
    now I don't most women ghost on me cause I actually try to create something
    but when I don't try to do anything now they wanna pay attention to me god I hate women lol

    1|0
    1|0
  • Ghosting is not an option for me. It's childish.

    3|0
    0|0
  • I recently ghosted a girl - I found out she was fucking a mate of mine while I was taking her out on dates and worse of all she cheated on her ex-boyfriend with my mate. I ghosted on her straight away.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I've ghosted quite a few girls. Usually I just think they aren't interested so I quit contacting them before I become a nuisance. Usually it's because they've been consistently waiting hours to send text or only replying with a couple words. Or on dates they seem like they're not really eager to be there. So I just stop contacting them with the thought that any normal human being would notice when someone disappears and reach out to them if it's someone they like. The number of girls I've met who've complained about me disappearing out of nowhere who never once tried just simply contacting me first is ridiculous. So excluding those women and only focusing in on girls that actually did try to reconnect several times: I tend to ghost on those girls as a last resort. Like I've had subtle talks to them about not wanting to date them. I've dropped the friend bomb several times. Sometimes I even try to hook them up with other people. I've learned from experience that when faced with girls like this I have two options disappear or tell her straight to her face why I don't want to and will probably never want to be with them. The second one sucks because it's usually not their fault and it's usually nothing they can change but they always take it personally. So the weaker the relationship I have with that person the easier it is for me to ghost her instead of having to beat the idea that I don't like her into her ego until it shatters. I'd rather a girl think I was a cold disrespectful jerk then walk around beating herself up over the (most likely arbitrary) reason why I didn't feel comfortable pursuing a relationship with her. A lot of girls just want a decent boyfriend but I've never really craved or cared for a relationship. Usually the only time I even bother with it all is when I've met someone that I think is just awesome. So most of the time if I'm ghosting someone it's because they were pursuing me and I was never interested or something about them has shattered my previous belief about who they were. Either that or dating them makes me feel more like a filler for the guy in her mental storybook than a person she actually likes. In that case I ghost because I honestly doubt my presence will be missed for long and whatever I would've said would've been irrelevant anyways.

    1|0
    0|0
    • When a guy's stopped msging me, I assumed he was really busy or wasn't interested. It would never have occurred to me he wanted me to contact him. I did send a few more msgs that they didn't respond to, but I thought they saw me as annoying anyway.

      If someone stops msging isn't it totally normal to assume they don't want to speak with u? Like if this was all in person and a guy just flat out ignored me, I'd assume he didn't take me srsly.

    • It works both ways. I stop messaging girls only when it appears that they aren't really interested in having a conversation with me. Like they take hours to reply to every text message. Or don't try at all to keep the conversation going. So yes if someone stops messaging it is totally normal to assume they don't want to speak with you. The same can be said about someone who never attempts to contact you first.

  • I've ghosted, hated myself for it, and have made efforts not to do it anymore.
    Didn't do it with bad intentions though.

    1|0
    0|0
    • It happens - as long as you learned from it and won't do it again, it's ok!

  • When did "ghosting" become a thing?

    0|0
    0|0
    • I'm not sure, but it's not cool.

    • *sigh*

      This better not become the next, "friend zone", or ,"nice guy", thing.

      And yeah, for sure. It ain't cool.

      Ignoring someone is easy, but it's just cruel and flat out rude. Be an adult and speak your mind. It's just so easy to hide behind a screen and do nothing.

  • This only works because people think online conversations are different from real life, and they're really not, so it doesn't work.

    Imagine talking to someone IRL and then they just stop, and walk away. Nobody would do that because it would be rude, but online it's fine for NO REASON AT ALL

    5|0
    0|0
    • I have the WORST CASE OF THIS AND I PROMISE YOU~~

      The girl who ghosted me lives right down the hall. One apartment down. Nobody knows this like I do

    • Exactly, people think it's easy to get away with things behind technology. A real man wouldn't leave a girl hanging - rejection is easier than waiting endlessly.

  • More from Guys
    10

What Girls Said 31

  • Yes I have been ghosted maaaaaaaaaaaany many times. I can't ghost anyone. It is so hurtful and rude. But when I get ghosted, I just roll my eyes and move on. Someone will love me... soon :( 24.media.tumblr.com/.../...2jFEvV1rwx83mo1_500.gif

    0|1
    0|0
  • I've ghosted people because I'm terrible at replying and I genuinely forget about texting someone back. I barely use my phone nowadays. People then are too afraid to text me again. BUT if I'm really into talking to you, I won't forget. ;)

    I've been ghosted too but by guys I've literally spoken to for less than ten minutes so it's not a huge deal.

    1|0
    0|1
  • Yeah, it happens.
    Any smart person would lower their expectations of what a person should look like and raise their expectations of what KIND of a person your next date should be.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I literally just look at my phone, chuckle and say:

    Guess he's too much of a coward to just be upfront. Forget that guy.

    10|2
    0|1
    • It's not always cowardice. He's waiting for a cue that you give a damn, before he sticks his neck out. Possibly he got burned really bad once before? It only takes a few double agents, cheaters, flakes, et al, before guys become very paranoid about giving away too many of their feelings at once.

  • I have been ghosted and have ghosted. It sucks all around but I take it in stride.. Tomorrow is another day 👍🏼

    1|0
    0|2
  • If I was ever ghosted I would just move on, and I would feel a bit lonely at first but I would have hope for a new person.

    0|0
    0|0
  • #6!!!
    I think we should all get behind this simple fact: when a person is interested in you, s/he will do something about it. The end. Everything else are just lame excuses.

    2|0
    0|0
  • For me, being ghosted is less hurtful than the text saying he's not interested or with someone else.

    1|0
    1|0
  • It's happened to me. And it's usual when I say hey is this all this is? Because if so fine just tell me so I can limit my emotions, or remove myself from the situation. It sucks, then you over think and over analyze. And it hurts.

    0|0
    0|0
  • LOL I'm quite certain I have thought all of these. I was ghosted in December of 2014, 2 weeks before my birthday. I met this guy in a bar, invited him to be my "date" at a wedding, and continue to hang out with him after that. He had plans for my birthday. Then one day, he stopped responding to my texts. Poof, bye bye. I ran into him a couple months later at the same bar, and wouldn't you know, he acted like nothing happened. He proceeded to kiss up to me, being all nice and shit. I blew him off, never acknowledged him. He left the bar with a stupid grin on his face. His roommate and brother's girlfriend, whom I totally clicked with, came up to me and told me she was so glad I never ended up with him, because everything he had told me about himself was a lie, just to impress me. I was saved that day. So sometimes being a "victim" of ghosting can be a good thing.

    2|0
    0|0
  • if you're getting ignored , i guess its time to move on. give yourself a time limit then decide its over. if ghosting means inning. im not exactly sure. is that it?

    I've done it unintentionally but i tried to straighten it out afterwards.. took years. jeez.

    0|0
    0|1
    • oooh. its about being ignored online? pfft. i would never leave a relationship or potential relationship situation at the mercy of texting. i hate texting. so I've never been ghosted or ghosted. i do things in person. make the guy say he's not interested if thats the case.

  • Well atm a friend of the opposite gender is pursuing with asking me out and sending me hugs etc, I know he is on a look out for a girlfriend... but I am not ready and have let him know that going through tough time atm... he is a nice guy... but after telling him about my recent break up, and that I am trying to pull myself together by keeping busy and doing things for me... he stills pursuing... quite honestly... as much as I like him as a friend... Im not feeling like explaining myself every time he txts... and all of the things he is trying to get me out for are dating... I don't mean to be rude to him, but there is only so many times one can let the other know they are not ready... before stop replying to their txts... I don't feel bad for it

    1|0
    0|0
    • That's not ghosting. Ghosting is basically two people dating and for some reason (mostly lack of romantic interest) one person goes radio silent. From the sound of it, you never intended on dating this guy and he's just not taking no for an answer.

    • Show All
    • @Almostoverit

    • @Almostoverit I guess so.

  • I have been ghosted, but it didn't really bother me, because it takes more than a few dates for me to get emotionally invested in someone.
    and because I had a very active dating and social life (dating, not necessarily sex) I basically always had stuff to do and people to meet. No biggie.
    I ghosted a few myself as well. when the chemistry just wasn't there at all and both knew that there will be no follow up. When a guy did follow up, I'd tell him that the spark didn't catch on and sorry.
    Others who I had been casually seeing for longer, I sent a text letting them know that I met someone and that it was getting serious. (when I met my now fiance) we wished each other all the best and that was it.

    So it really depends on the situation and the history with the person.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Ok. I keep seeing this on my feed and I have to know.
    WTF IS GHOSTING

    2|1
    0|0
    • Ghosting is when the person you are dating (or seeing) completely disappears - stops texting, stops responding, basically leaves forever. Rather than telling you they aren't interested in dating you, they stop contacting you all together. It's very frustrating!

    • I see.
      I've never really had that happen but I can image its frustrating

  • I've been ghosted before but I don't do it. In fact, I don't think I'll ever do that. It's such a cowardly (and immature) thing to do, in my opinion. Seriously, what's so hard about being straightforward and direct? I've never had a problem with that.
    in my opinion, it's better to know the cold, hard truth and be hurt by it than to just suddenly disappear. It's so unfair to the other person because it leaves them hanging and wondering what's going on.

    Anyway, thoughts 2, 3, 4, and 5 have come across my mind when I got ghosted.

    And when I get ghosted, I give them a few days to see and confirm that I've been ghosted. After a certain time period (usually a few days up to a week... Depending on how frequently we communicate), I'd just sign them off and boot them out of my life... unless of course, they come back later and tell me that, oh, they were stuck on a deserted island during that time... Then, yea, ok... Second chance granted. Otherwise, nope!

    3|1
    0|0
    • I agree! It's so much easier to hear the truth (no matter how harsh it may be), than sitting around waiting with no communication!

  • I think I have. My Last contact with him Was because of his birthday. We were talking of many things, in the end, I asked him if everything Was ok, he told me That yes, he Was ok.

    I stopped the contact for five days, and on Friday night, I decided to call him. He didn't answered. Next Day i sent him a message, he didn't answered, then in the afternoon i called him once more, he didn't answered. I sent him crying my Last message, saying That i release him, That i accept That he can't give me a stable relationship, That maybe in the future we can rekindle our friendship.

    I am still mourning for it, but he hasn't called or contacted me yet, so he just ghosted.

    I think I am still in thoughts 7 and 8. I am overthinking if I did something wrong in the relationship.

    1|0
    0|1
    • I completely understand how you feel. I have been there so many times, and it really is the WORST feeling! Trust me though - you did NOT do anything wrong. Any type of guy that "ghosts" a girl is immature and a coward. You deserve better than that, and I believe you will find a great guy :)

  • hahah lol the gifs are so funny

    1|0
    0|0
  • I was ghosted recently by a shy nerd guy. Which is funny because aren't shy nerdy guys the guys who men claim women friend zone? And who claim they are the nice guys?

    Anyways I called him and he agreed to hang out He was out of town and I contacted him a week later because I already texted him and I just met the guy so of course I gave him the benefit of the doubt. But he next responded so I called him again and I texted him some days later, no response.

    So I deleted his number

    1|0
    0|2
    • Seriously, I always think a shy, nerdy guy will be a nice guy - which makes it even more frustrating when he doesn't reply :( Deleting his number was a smart move. What a jerk.

    • *but he never responded

  • Haahahaha this

    1|0
    0|0
  • looooool

    1|0
    0|0
  • More from Girls
    11
Loading...