12 Thoughts I Have When I've Been Ghosted

The dating process is a roller coaster, and there's nothing worse than realizing the person you've been pursuing isn't feeling you anymore. Shooting over a text saying they've met someone else or letting the relationship slowly fizzle away from existence is never fun, but there's one method that burns more than any other: ghosting.

Whether you've been ghosted, or perhaps you ARE the one who ghosts (WHY do you do this?!), this one method of ending a fling is quite possibly the most frustrating way ever. As you sit there staring at your phone day after day wondering when their next text will come through, it's easy to get lost in a series of self-criticizing thoughts that go a little something like this:

1. Maybe his phone is broken

12 Thoughts I Have When I've Been Ghosted

2. Maybe my last message never sent. Should I resend it?

3. Maybe he accidentally blocked me

4. He hasn't viewed my Snapchat. Maybe he's swamped with work.

5. False alarm. He HAS viewed my Snapchat. Why hasn't he texted me?

6. I thought we had a connection. Maybe I imagined it and he didn't enjoy all of those dates with me.


7. Did I talk too much on our dates? Did he think I was annoying?

8. Did I sleep with him too early and now he thinks I am a slut?

9. Was I bad in bed?

10. Maybe it's because I was a brunette. Should I dye my hair blonde? Do all guys like blondes?

11. Will I be single forever?

12. I guess it's time to move on

Have you ever been ghosted? If so, how did you handle it?

If you've ever ghosted someone - Please tell us why!


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What Guys Said 30

  • To ghost someone is pretty lame, with all the communication tools we have at our disposal today, it speaks very poorly of someone if they "ghost" you.

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  • Yeah, I've been ghosted. She never said why. But all in all, ghosting is just the coward's way out.

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  • I've ghosted, hated myself for it, and have made efforts not to do it anymore.
    Didn't do it with bad intentions though.

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    • It happens - as long as you learned from it and won't do it again, it's ok!

    • What were your "good" intentions?

  • I use to be an accidental ghoster.. I'm a software engineer, and have my own projects outside of work that I work on quite a bit. Which takes up a lot of my time.

    My ghosting was mainly due to me getting caught up in projects, and working 15+ hour days on my own accord, and just being oblivious to my surroundings for the longest time. I'd go on dates with a girl. Then a buddy and I would start a new project, and I would lose track of time and then a week would pass by without me contacting them.

    I know now that that was never an excuse, but a reason. However, it's the honest truth, and building my career was the most important thing to me at that time in my life. When I finally got to the point of being content in my career. I stopped ghosting, and now im married.

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  • This only works because people think online conversations are different from real life, and they're really not, so it doesn't work.

    Imagine talking to someone IRL and then they just stop, and walk away. Nobody would do that because it would be rude, but online it's fine for NO REASON AT ALL

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    • I have the WORST CASE OF THIS AND I PROMISE YOU~~

      The girl who ghosted me lives right down the hall. One apartment down. Nobody knows this like I do

    • Exactly, people think it's easy to get away with things behind technology. A real man wouldn't leave a girl hanging - rejection is easier than waiting endlessly.

  • It's happened. The relationship fizzled slowly. It sucks because the way she acted around me at the beginning completely doesn't match the way she acted in the end. I wish she could be honest and say it up front, but it sounds like she was afraid of that or something.

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    • I am in the same situation as you! He clearly liked me and did weird, suspicious stuff until Christmas break. He even made plans for us to meet up, but he bailed without a word... For that reason, it doesn't make sense why he'd ghost because he doesn't like me anymore or whatever...
      Just saying that I understand you... Hopes up! =D

    • @s0PH5T3R sounds exactly like my situation he bailed right after Christmas break

  • i hope people realize that ghost or ghosting is a thing, before people started using it to reference other people suddenly disappearing, which made the title of this post so fucking confusing lol.

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  • I ghosted someone once. And reading this reminds me what an asshole move that was and re-commit to myself to never do it again!

    Great take :)

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  • I've never really ghosted anyone in the way you've described. The worst I've ever done is not called at all and that's mostly just because I get caught up in other stuff. Then a week later when I'm ready to get out there again I remember "Oh yeah I got that girls # last weekend, but then I feel like it's too late and then I go out and do it again...

    I feel like that's an expected pitfall for women just like getting a fake number is for dudes.

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  • I don't think I have ever ghosted anybody I try to be straight with people - Have I ever being ghosted - It is like you wrote that take just about me , I am exactly like that with a girl I like when things are going south and there is radio silence.

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  • I can admit that I once went dark with a girl I was chatting with. Since it has now been several months, I'm assuming she wasn't ever really interested since she hadn't made an attempt to contact again.

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    • Looking back i think a few guys did this to me before. i thought they had just moved on to other people or didn't see me as important enough, so I didn't message anymore!

    • Show All
    • As long as he is trying to get a job and is determined then its okay. There's a difference between a guy who dosen't have a job cause he just doesn't want one, and a guy who doesn't have one but he has been searching and handing out resumes and hoping to hear back from people and has plans and goals for his future.

    • @Ivanafoster1212 even if I am the later, I still don't think I'm desireable enough on the dating market. So I did her a favor in my opinion.

  • its a lot easier to do nothing than to inform her:

    "ill text u sometime within the next six months for sex"

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    • well maybe you could at least tell her you aren't looking for a relationship. Maybe she's down for a casual hookup, you never know.. but it's best to say something, otherwise she could start getting clingy and crazy (just sayin...)

    • i agree completely. however, people are reluctant to let others down explicitly.

    • Exactly why if you're smart you never reply to their text again... and then suddenly they're begging to have you back lol. Honestly the amount of guys that have tried disappearing on me when we hadn't even had sex yet only to come back months later like dude did you expect me to sit around waiting for you for two months.

  • After reading this... I'm still not sure I know what ghosting is.
    Is it when they don't contact you again?

    I have friends online who don't contact me, and I don't contact them, but if some certain thing is happening, or one of us happen to think of the other, we'll contact the other person.

    It's like that list of family members, you know they are there, but you have no actual reason to contact them unless there is a family reunion or someone has died or something.

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  • Ghosting is not an option for me. It's childish.

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  • Everybody ghosts now.

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    • Well hopefully someone can break this trend..

    • It's a product of instant gratification and short attention spans and the pervasiveness of social media and texting.

      It cannot be fixed. It's over.

  • Dating is not a rollercoaster it's a science, if you follow the rules you'll get your desired results.

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  • Been ghosted, but I already had my shields up so I was okay. If she ever cares to find out, she's been ghosted, too.

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  • Lol haha at 10 xD

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  • Guys get ghosted and sometimes kids are taken too.

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  • I don't even know what being "ghosted" means.

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What Girls Said 31

  • I literally just look at my phone, chuckle and say:

    Guess he's too much of a coward to just be upfront. Forget that guy.

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    • It's not always cowardice. He's waiting for a cue that you give a damn, before he sticks his neck out. Possibly he got burned really bad once before? It only takes a few double agents, cheaters, flakes, et al, before guys become very paranoid about giving away too many of their feelings at once.

  • I've been ghosted before but I don't do it. In fact, I don't think I'll ever do that. It's such a cowardly (and immature) thing to do, in my opinion. Seriously, what's so hard about being straightforward and direct? I've never had a problem with that.
    in my opinion, it's better to know the cold, hard truth and be hurt by it than to just suddenly disappear. It's so unfair to the other person because it leaves them hanging and wondering what's going on.

    Anyway, thoughts 2, 3, 4, and 5 have come across my mind when I got ghosted.

    And when I get ghosted, I give them a few days to see and confirm that I've been ghosted. After a certain time period (usually a few days up to a week... Depending on how frequently we communicate), I'd just sign them off and boot them out of my life... unless of course, they come back later and tell me that, oh, they were stuck on a deserted island during that time... Then, yea, ok... Second chance granted. Otherwise, nope!

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    • I agree! It's so much easier to hear the truth (no matter how harsh it may be), than sitting around waiting with no communication!

  • I think that if you are seeing someone even if it's not serious it's better to be honest and not waste anyone's time.
    I've been what I call semi ghosted where someone disappears and then reappears to then disappear again. The frustration for me was just having my time wasted especially as the guy I was seeing i later found out was getting his ex back at the same time as he was playing games.
    I would have respected him more if he had just text to say it was over.
    But your right before I knew about his ex all those things ran through my mind. Did I do something wrong? Did I sleep with him too early? In the end it wasn't to do with me, it was him.

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  • I have been ghosted, but it didn't really bother me, because it takes more than a few dates for me to get emotionally invested in someone.
    and because I had a very active dating and social life (dating, not necessarily sex) I basically always had stuff to do and people to meet. No biggie.
    I ghosted a few myself as well. when the chemistry just wasn't there at all and both knew that there will be no follow up. When a guy did follow up, I'd tell him that the spark didn't catch on and sorry.
    Others who I had been casually seeing for longer, I sent a text letting them know that I met someone and that it was getting serious. (when I met my now fiance) we wished each other all the best and that was it.

    So it really depends on the situation and the history with the person.

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  • LOL I'm quite certain I have thought all of these. I was ghosted in December of 2014, 2 weeks before my birthday. I met this guy in a bar, invited him to be my "date" at a wedding, and continue to hang out with him after that. He had plans for my birthday. Then one day, he stopped responding to my texts. Poof, bye bye. I ran into him a couple months later at the same bar, and wouldn't you know, he acted like nothing happened. He proceeded to kiss up to me, being all nice and shit. I blew him off, never acknowledged him. He left the bar with a stupid grin on his face. His roommate and brother's girlfriend, whom I totally clicked with, came up to me and told me she was so glad I never ended up with him, because everything he had told me about himself was a lie, just to impress me. I was saved that day. So sometimes being a "victim" of ghosting can be a good thing.

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  • I've ghosted people because I'm terrible at replying and I genuinely forget about texting someone back. I barely use my phone nowadays. People then are too afraid to text me again. BUT if I'm really into talking to you, I won't forget. ;)

    I've been ghosted too but by guys I've literally spoken to for less than ten minutes so it's not a huge deal.

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  • Yes I've been ghosted before. It felt pretty shitty and I was very upset at the other person because I did nothing to deserve that. I think someone with balls can at least explain to the other person what they did wrong or how they feel so the person being ghosted doesn't feel like shit after being ignored repetively.

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  • If I was ever ghosted I would just move on, and I would feel a bit lonely at first but I would have hope for a new person.

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  • Ok. I keep seeing this on my feed and I have to know.
    WTF IS GHOSTING

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    • Ghosting is when the person you are dating (or seeing) completely disappears - stops texting, stops responding, basically leaves forever. Rather than telling you they aren't interested in dating you, they stop contacting you all together. It's very frustrating!

    • I see.
      I've never really had that happen but I can image its frustrating

  • if you're getting ignored , i guess its time to move on. give yourself a time limit then decide its over. if ghosting means inning. im not exactly sure. is that it?

    I've done it unintentionally but i tried to straighten it out afterwards.. took years. jeez.

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    • oooh. its about being ignored online? pfft. i would never leave a relationship or potential relationship situation at the mercy of texting. i hate texting. so I've never been ghosted or ghosted. i do things in person. make the guy say he's not interested if thats the case.

  • Yeah, it happens.
    Any smart person would lower their expectations of what a person should look like and raise their expectations of what KIND of a person your next date should be.

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  • Omg, I love this take, I also have some thoughts like these sometimes lol

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  • I have been ghosted and have ghosted. It sucks all around but I take it in stride.. Tomorrow is another day 👍🏼

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  • Haahahaha this

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  • Yes I have been ghosted maaaaaaaaaaaany many times. I can't ghost anyone. It is so hurtful and rude. But when I get ghosted, I just roll my eyes and move on. Someone will love me... soon :( 24.media.tumblr.com/.../...2jFEvV1rwx83mo1_500.gif

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  • looooool

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  • This whole "ghosting" trend is effed up and now that there is a word for guys blowing off girls it somehow makes it even more acceptable! I met this cool guy out a couple weeks ago and we really hit it off then all of a sudden he just went MIA. It's so frustrating bc I see on Insta that he's out with other girls. I wish he at least had the decency to say he wasn't in to me rather than just continually blowing me off!

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  • hahah lol the gifs are so funny

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  • LOL I'm dealing with this as we speak.

    It hurts. Like why can't he be up front and say "leave me alone I don't want you"

    He has been ignoring my message all. day. I blame myself for being boring, a shitty lay, and unattractive.

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    • Most people are only boring in the beginning cause they're to embarrassed to show their true personality.

  • #6!!!
    I think we should all get behind this simple fact: when a person is interested in you, s/he will do something about it. The end. Everything else are just lame excuses.

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