Things that go through our heads when we get rejected

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

We've all experienced rejection, some more than others. Well I bet we all think about the same shit when we do. If I forget any, feel free to add.

1. Am I not good enough?

We always feel as if we weren't good enough. Is it because we don't look like someone else? Are we too loud or too shy?

2. Was there someone else?

Of course if they don't choose us, there must be someone else. Is it a romantic interest? Is it a friend that's keeping them from dating?

3. Why not me?

We all think this. What's wrong with us? Are we not good enough for that person?

4. Who do they think they are?

We all go through this little stage after being rejected. Who do they think they are to reject us? We will think along the lines of "I am who I am, I guess they can't handle me."

5. I want to curl up in a ball for a while.

We all get a little depressed after being rejected. Some cry, others just sit in silence.

6. I don't want to talk.

Some of us just want to sit down and not talk to anyone. Maybe headphones in volume up or we want to curl up with a good book.

7. Fuck them, they don't know what they're missing on!

We all get to this stage too, some earlier than others. They don't know what fun, amazing people they're missing out on by rejecting us!

8. I understand I guess.

Finally, the stage of acceptance. We understand they might have said no for a valid reason (sometimes people can just be too shallow). Acceptance is imporant and if we accept that they rejected us then we're one step closer to loving ourselves.

Rejection is a natural part of being human. Everyone is going to get rejected. If it's for a relationship or a college, it'll happen. It's inevetible. So accept who you are and love yourself. You'll find what/who you need to accept you.

[RJGraveyTrain]

Another reason for me is: "I'm obviously too awesome for you" and "You're clearly slow in the head."

In truth though I have definitely thought a lot of these things, and have felt truly very bad. But I have come to tell myself that the biggest turn off anybody can feel towards another is knowing they don't like you back. So, I can get over people a bit easier now.

[OlderAndWiser]

9. What could I do to win them over?
10. What could I do to screw up their life permanently?
11. I wonder if I could kill them and get away with murder?
12. No one will ever love me!
13. Thank God my hand can't leave me!
14. I'm gonna get someone else to make them jealous.
15. I hope they die a very painful death!

[JRICHARDS1996]

For me it is usually a combination of #1 and wondering if I did something wrong with my approach. I can become very self conscious afterwards, but otherwise cope pretty well. To be honest, if a girl actually said yes I'm not even sure what I'd so since I've never gotten that far.

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

Haha same here though.
I've asked out 3 people in my life and they all said no.
Well guess I'm not trying that again till next year.

[KDA20]

I probably have extended stages of 5,6 and 8 rather than all 8 - As you know I am very logical while it is hard to accept, I do accept rejection sometimes it takes a long time and is sad but I never think the was it me, am I not good enough or can I change stages - I may not have been happy but I was happy with who I was/am over the years - As I said before emotions like who do they think they are and fuck them, they don't know what they are missing serve no purpose to me, they are just lashing out blindly at someone who is not there, if you are not careful the metaphorical strike might swing through the empty air to come back to hit you.
Do you know what rejection is, it is the first step on the path to meeting the next great love of your life.

[indie_rock_chick]

As a person that has been rejected a lot of times I agree with your take a lot. We feel like we're not enough, like we did something wrong and something is not right about us. The thing to remember is to always be ourselves and someone will fall back in love with us just because we are who we are. Love is tricky but it's everywhere and it's inevitable for it to reach us one day. And it will be beautiful

[QuestionMan]

In my experience girls rejecting me was a way of telling me that I'm approaching the wrong girls. It took me a while to figure that one out. I always thought there was something wrong with the girls for them not liking me. Turns out I was partially right. They were doing me a favour by showing me that I'm wasting my time.

It's still sad that very few women are compatible with me, be it for friendship or relationship.

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

Aw I'm sorry.

[QuestionMan]

Don't be it's not your fault.

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

But still, you seem interesting and kind.

[QuestionMan]

Thanks 😃
I'm kind only to those that deserve it.

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

You're welcome and well I believe in this quote I found.
I am kind to everyone, regardless if they are kind to me or not.
Something like this;
bryantmcgill.com/.../...nkind-brave-world-5x8h.jpg
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/.../...6e9973d178.jpg
wellnesslisa.com/.../bekind.png

So I am only mean to those who are hurting someone I care about and that's just in defense.

[QuestionMan]

I tried living by the golden rule it didn't work out to well. I decided to treat people the way they deserve to be treated. This way I'm not trying to change people into something better I just get them to gtfo.

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

I understand. :)

[bloodmountain1990]

Rejection isn't that bad. I mean it sucks but you move on to the next one as it's a numbers game. Now what does suck is being led on.

You feel like an idiot when the person you thought was interested in you really wasn't and you start to question someone who's showing interest as if they're genuine or not. It's also a waste of both parties time. I'd rather know where I stand with a person as opposed to being strung along only to find out I could have used that time to talk to someone who actually was interested.

[redeyemindtricks]

I'm kinda just like la la la la la. Def capable of denying that any interest was even expressed in the first place. What, 0 for 0? LOL

I'm not sure my man has ever been rejected. Well, not by a woman. Only by his "family" and by the rest of the world. SMH

[Tromba]

I've been rejected twice. The first time I was simply curious why. The second time I was also curious but I never got any sort of explanation because she just disappeared and cut me off completely.

In the first case it was because the guy she dumped me for was just male underwear model drop dead gorgeous. I did have the satisfaction of her trying to get back with me after the initial charm of beauty wore off but I was with someone else by then.

[peachblossomluck]

Maybe the ones who reject are doing us a favor in the long run? It feels awful being rejected but now that I look back, I think how glad I am not to be with those guys:)

[d3adn1nja]

What goes truth my head when I get rejected online or in real life.

Well fuck me, here we go again. Ehhhhhhhhhhh, well I guess it's time to try again.

I don't obsess or care about being rejected, but I'm not a very emotional person if hardly. Upside of being a loner no fear of rejection and then you get so used to being a loner you reject others without even giving it a thought.

[MusicMayhem]

They're say they're too busy to hang out with me because of work? What a load of crap, they still have time to hang out with their friends all the time! Why can't they make time for me too? They were lying to me and clearly weren't as interested as they led me to believe! They were just too scared to be honest and reject me properly.

[Azara]

I just think we are not compatible.

unless i know I've been misunderstood., then i will try to clear up misapprehensions. after that i know I've done what i can.

[Dipsy]

For some reason I feel really motivated after rejection and not depressed at all. I also feel a relief.
Kinda weird, but it's better than being sad all time :P

[ThisDudeHere]

Yup I have had every single one of these except for curling up in a ball. I don't think there's a need to overreact so I just move onward faster but with all the other thoughts in my mind.

[dudeman]

I've been rejected twice. once in first grade and once as a sophomore in college. the second time I didn't know what was happening I just stood there like a jack ass waiting for a different answer because she couldn't possibly have just rejected me.

[NightmareNeal]

cool story bro, tell it again 😂

[dudeman]

@NightmareNeal I've been rejected twice. once in first grade and once as a sophomore in college. the second time I didn't know what was happening I just stood there like a jack ass waiting for a different answer because she couldn't possibly have just rejected me.

[NightmareNeal]

that sounds like a movie script

[dudeman]

@NightmareNeal lol no its just real life. i thought it was funny because i was obviously being creepy without knowing.

[NightmareNeal]

like a deer in headlights lol

[dudeman]

@NightmareNeal pretty much. i was handing her my phone to put her number in it and i just stood their with my arm extended blinking like why is she not taking the phone.

[NightmareNeal]

thats even worse.. follow 4 follow?

[dudeman]

@NightmareNeal sure lol

[Phoenix98]

I honestly don't care all that much, o well life goes on, always another fish, it's very rare if I ever get that upset about being rejected.

[Heyyakkk]

I have made the error of asking ALL of these questions to him after rejection.

It got so bad he had to tell me not to be so hard on myself.

Embarrassing

[Bluemax]

Out of curiosity, how did they react at your asking those questions?

[Heyyakkk]

Indifferent and kept lying. Never saying the truth.

[ArtDent]

I will not tell someone why I rejected them, because ultimately it doesn't matter.

[Heyyakkk]

@ArtDent it does matter. You just make them feel like they don't matter and aren't worth anything to deserve an explanation

[ArtDent]

It doesn't matter because whatever turned ME off has nothing to do with what another person may think of her.

[Heyyakkk]

@ArtDent you think it doesn't matter but as a person who has been there, I am telling you IT DOES. Knowing what you did to turn them off will at least give them closure. Keeping the person guessing makes them criticize every aspect of their being. Making them think less and less of themselves, making them feel incompetent and worthless.

You may think it won't make a difference but it does.

[ArtDent]

I understand what you are saying.

[Heyyakkk]

@ArtDent I also get where you're coming from. The problem is not everyone is as emotionally mature or logical as you.

[Bluemax]

I only do 5, 6, and 8.

I guess that's a blessing, except that in my youth 5 and 6 tended to last rather long.

[theegreat017]

I don't think 'fuck them' but it's pretty sad to get rejected time and again, and i have always been rejected before, like 5-6 times and it now feels pretty desperate tbh.

[SuperOzgurX2]

The main thing i experience is that, they're still not over their ex and hence thought they could move on. Has happened to me more then once. Main reason i get rejected.

[The_Empty]

First off, as a girl, I don't know what you could possibly understand about rejection. Secondly, my reaction is usually "Fuck you, just fucking fuck you, I want to burn this shitty world and perish in the flames".

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

LOL
so I don't know what rejection is like since I'm a girl? Dude I literally just got rejected the day I wrote this.

[The_Empty]

Yeah, well, ain't you a special snowflake, let's be honest, you could get laid any time you want. Whereas me? I'm a black man, a disgusting black man, not only that, I'm one with mental illness too. So, while you can get rejected but laid whenever you want, I can get rejected and convince myself not to hurt myself.

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

Oooo someone seems butthurt. I am a virgin actually and every guy I asked out the past 3 years has said no xD so yea.
I don't want to get laid as 1. I am only 16, I don't want sex and 2. I want a relationship based on common interest and trust/communication.
I too have a mental illness, so maybe the special snowflake remark also goes towards you.
You shouldn't ever hurt yourself over anyone else.
Also, you being black has nothing to do with anything. If you're getting rejected because you're black then you're asking the wrong people out.
I'm sorry you've been hurt so much to feel the need to be so negative towards someone you don't even know.

[The_Empty]

I'm not being negative, I was saying you didn't know what really rejection is, guess I was wrong. And, it's different for you, saying you don't want to carries with it the implication that you could get it if you wanted to, whereas me? I cannot. And, they never directly say it's because I'm black, but, you know it is. What is there to LIKE about black guys, honestly? And, I have real mental issues, as in, I've been diagnosed with them, but my parents wouldn't let me get medication

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

Yes you were wrong. If I asked for sex from a dude, he'd say yes because VAGINA and I'm not that bad looking. That's the only reason I'd get laid without being in a relationship.
Hey, there's nothing wrong with black guys in my opinion, or any race really. I'd date a black dude if we mutually liked each other.
Once more, I too have REAL mental issues.
As stated in a myTake I wrote, I have anxiety and mild depression. I was diagnosed with anxiety but not depression because my father was abusive and didn't want to believe I had it. He said it was made up so he wouldn't let me get any medications for it either.
You're not alone honey, trust me.

[The_Empty]

Believe me, I wish I had severe depression (my diagnosis) but it's pretty clear that I have BPD, which is somewhat worse

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

Oh yea I know :/ I have a lot of family and friends with BPD and/or depression