I can't stand my boyfriend's female friend?

I really dislike one of my boyfriend's friends, and I don't know what to do about it.

She lied about health problems (probably for attention) which really pissed me off. I've been struggling with various health problems and crappy ignorant doctors, many of whom think I'm making my symptoms up, for the past 2 years, so I take lying about this very seriously. She and people like her are the reason people with real conditions are never taken seriously and given inadequate treatment.

Needless to say, we got off on the wrong foot, and I can't stand her lying, manipulative behavior.

To make matters worse, she has some sort of weird jealous thing for him (I don't even think she likes him romantically, just likes the male attention) and will make up lies about me and has tried to make me a running joke between them. She also completely disrespects our relationship and acts very sexually flirty with him.

It makes me really uncomfortable and puts a strain on our relationship.

She's not his best friend or anything, just someone a year younger than him that he went to high school with.

I just don't know how to deal with her. I can't handle her abuse, it's so catty and immature, and she refuses to talk to me about it.

My boyfriend and I ended up taking a break for a bit because of this strain on our relationship, plus we secretly met for a while as her abuse becomes worse when she knows we're together. Summer's coming to a close and soon we'll all be together again in college and I need some advice on how to deal.

Thanks in advance!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • that sounds like just women being women. there are so many questions on here, mostly from women actually, asking why other women have to be so nasty to them. if i knew why girls get jealous, or bicker, or put each other down, and how to stop it, i'd probably write a book about it and get extremely rich. Two solutions i can think of. One is just being honest with your boyfriend about how you feel, and leaving the decision whether to cut her out up to him. Trust me when i say that giving him an ultimatum or being demanding on the matter will just come across as the jealous girlfriend thing, especially if she's already gotten into his head. The other option is to propose a threesome, and then revel in the awkward silence that ultimately comes between them when she inevitably turns it down. Even on the off chance she's bi (1 in 10), she's not going to fuck a girl she hates so damn much, and if she did, you could use it as an opportunity to get back at her for her manipulativeness with some fucked up S&M shit, make her YOUR bitch once and for all. True, its not very sportsmanlike, but neither is she. In the words of Huey from the boondocks... Being the bigger man is overrated.

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    • oh and the other option is just to kick her ass, which may or may not turn your boyfriend on, but i guarantee he's not gonna wanna fuck a girl with a swollen face hahahaha

What Guys Said 4

  • I think it's time to make ur boyfriend choose. Ik they say never make people choose, but this sounds like a very extreme case. And if he chooses her over you than he wasn't worth it to begin with.

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  • Tell your boyfriend to choose between the two of you. Issue an ultimatum. Of course, be prepared to sacrifice any guy friends you have that might hang around and flirt with you.

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  • pull her hair and push her down

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  • Damn, bitch is on your boy like a rash, girl.

    Tell her to back off.

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What Girls Said 3

  • I'd try really talking to your boyfriend about it as obviously you've stated you can't talk with her-let him know that. If her really respects you he'll tell her to leave you two alone once you've expressed that she's hurting your relationship-and you for that matter. If he's unwilling I'd question what his deal with her is and I'd begin to re-evaluate whether the stress and feelings imposed by her are really worth the relationship. Good luck and hope things turn out for the best for you! :)

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  • Same solution before and I had a bf in the past and he had a friend that like she made me sick!! To my stomach and so I just let like get to me and I paralyzed her for being a bitch and now she in a wheelchair to this day and I don't feel any regret but then my ex bf said why u hit her was like she talking dirty too u and u are my man not and I said im the only woman that has sex with u and talks dirty too u and ect... and I was so confused about the whole thing but I realized that I just let him chose because aleast he would feel like shit but he chose her the wheelchair accessible bitch!!! And so what im saying is do something about it for example tell him stop hanging out with her or else and talk to him about this as soon as possible because when I feel something isn't right I talk the direct person whomever it is and tell them we need too talk and like think about what would happened with us and its harsh u had to go through this but like I said talk it out with him im sure he'll listen and point out about the fact she acting flirty with him and destroying an awesome beautiful masterpiece relationship of both of u and also if he doesn't understand make him by repeating the following u need too open up your eyes and see what's going on she's flirting with you like sexual in a conversations and u need too realize by now and he'll listen and say the whole thing bothering you too the part when she flirting with you and in a conversation too and good luck on it girl (: I been through this before and I don't want too see a masterpiece fall apar
    in your life ): because it happened to me along time ago so good luck girl friend (:

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  • Call her out! be firm and confident and you will stump her, she'll fall somewhere. As for your bf, he really needs to think about what he wants. He can't think that he can keep you and let his friend disrespect you. He needs to put his foot down and set boundaries.

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    • This.

      "He can't think that he can keep you and let his friend disrespect you. He needs to put his foot down and set boundaries."

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    • I tried to call her out but she turned all around on me. All I did was ask her in person if what time we could talk and she basically acuused me of near assault. She messaged me over Facebook saying she was "confronted" and that my hand gestures, of all things, made her "severely uncomfortable". I am terribly unintimidating; she was being ridiculous. Typical manipulator trying to cast herself as a victim.
      And this was a day after she messaged me saying that she doesn't think " anything bad" of me, and that she "really thinks I'm a great person" and wants all of us to be friends :P which was a response to me asking what time would work for her to talk. I asked her in person if we could sometime, to which she said yes. I later had to contact her over message because our class was canceled so we couldn't meet afterwards. After her disgustingly fake message, I still thought it would be OK to talk to her in person, considering that's what friends do, but no. Instead I get accused of assaul

    • What a crazy bitch! I think its time he has to choose then. If she really doesn't want to try and make things work for everyone then she shouldn't be a part of what you guys have.

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