Why is my new boyfriend ignoring me when he is sick in the hospital?

I just recently became exclusive with my new boyfriend after a lot of dating other men. I don't know how to explain it, but we both just really clicked it was love at first sight, literally for both of us. We haven't been able to get enough of each other and we constantly communicate sometimes well into the night. Recently he is gotten some pretty bad news about his health and is in the hospital and has shut me out. It's hard after all of our communication to be ignored and be out of the loop as far as what's really going on. I don't understand why he would not want me to be there to support him or why he can't even talk to me about it. He's talked about everything else under the sun with me, so this is very confusing sad and I'm really emotionally worried and upset...


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, when i was sick in the hospital with bowel blockage
    it changes your mood, you rather be dead than alive I
    couldn't talk much to anyone and was so depressed
    so your boyfriend might be going through the same issues

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    • Sickness makes you feel horrible and he has lot worry

    • My mother was sick with cancer she shut all people out of her life
      this is common to happen i know your boyfriend should contact you
      but when your sick it's horrible one day your happy next day sad

    • Thank you for Most Helpful:)
      I really do hope you can come to some conclusion what's
      going on with boyfriend and his health you deserve a answer
      i really feel sorry cause I know what your going through from
      my late mom being sick she shut all her friends off from
      communicating with her and she never contacted family
      course i always had dysfunctional family i wish you the best
      of luck and when you love someone it might be too hard for
      him to contact you cause he loves you so much sorry for
      making this sound so sad ! XD

What Guys Said 11

  • He has a lot on his plate. I would chalk it up to his concern over his health issues, nothing to do with you.

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  • He probably doesn't want you to see him in such a weaken state, but its good enough that you've at least tried to get a hold of him and showed him you care.

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  • Selfish! You made his current tragedy all about you. Maybe he can't have you at the hospital while his wife is visiting.

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  • because he is busy fucking a nurse lol

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  • You aren't that important to him... yet.

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  • Do you know where he is hospitalized?

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    • No, he barely tells me anything. He won't tell me where he is or if he's in the hospital or if he's at home or what is happening.

    • This is exclusive situation. Contact his friends and try to know. May be he doesn't wanna let you know about his health condition or disease or he doesn't wanna introduce you to his family or something via this meet?

  • Maybe he knows his days are numbered and he doesn't want you to see him in such weakened states

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  • Umm, he's in the hospital and is dealing with all of that? As the other anon mentioned, men don't sit around and gossip about their issues to feel better. That is annoying more often than not and he'd rather not add to the discomfort and/or pain he might be feeling currently.

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  • don't know if he is in hospital or not or whatever. thing is i shut down when i have problems and would rather solve my shit and then get back with my life instead of dragging other along.
    i hated for people to visit me at hospital, i hate it when i had other issues and people were more worried than i was and asking endless questions. it feels like it's taking my focus from the problem which i want to get rid of, when i also have to reassure everyone that i'm ok, i know what i need to do, bla bla. Give me some time and i'll be good, that's all i need.
    That's how i am. don't know about others. was in hospital once and in the same room with me was this other guy who'd call EVERYONE, especially girls, to bitch about his situation. That guy was such an attention whore and it made me sick.

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  • How selfish and self-centred are you?

    He's in hospital. Believe it or not he has OTHER things on his mind, than you.

    " I don't understand why he would not want me to be there to support him or why he can't even talk to me about it."

    Because guys do not gain anything by talking about their problems. Women do, which is why they love to talk about their problems. Endlessly and over and over. But guys don't. It does nothing to help the situation, it doesn't make us feel better, and can actually make us feel worse.

    Guys handle bad news differently to how women handle bad news.

    In any case, this isn't about you - stop trying to make it about you. I wonder how much support you think you'd actually be when your first set of questions would be all about you.

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    • I'm not asking him to talk in detail about his problems, I just want to know if he's alive or if he is going to be okay or what his diagnosis is. I am strictly worried about him, this has nothing to do with me needing attention. It is all about him and how he is doing.

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    • I'm just wondering and curious to understand your point, so guys you wouldn't want your girlfriends to visit you or should they visit you but just not ask you anything then? Should they just come and see that you're okay but not ask anything then?

    • Don't visit, unless asked to come by. And then, we may have a list of things for you to bring with you.

  • Sometimes, some things are meant not to be talked about

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    • I can understand that, I just really want to know truthfully if he's going to live or not because his disease is pretty advanced.

What Girls Said 5

  • The few times I've been sick around my boyfriend (puking and not being able to do a whole lot due to bed rest) while I was glad he was there because it showed me he really cares I hated him seeing me like that, it's much the same when he's been sick, He's pleased that i'm there to help him but I can tell he wishes I didn't have to, it could be he more then likely is either scared or just doesn't want you to have to deal with his problems

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    • I am the same way, I would have him there with me. But I am now learning that men can be completely different and just want to be left alone and it has nothing to do with me.

  • Some guys don't like to show their weakness before people. Maybe even he views his health issue as something that can distort his image before you. Also, if he is depressed or stressed, he may prefer distance over emotional support. Give him some space, and show him that you care whenever possible.

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  • I'd be mad if I were you. Just pop in and see how he is.

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  • God, give him a break. He's in the hospital taking care of himself, don't be so clingy.

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  • Is he literally too sick to contact you?

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    • He has a pretty advanced where disease and I know he can contact me, i'm just not sure why he won't update me or let me know what's going on because I'm so extremely worried.

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    • well guys usually don't want anyone near them when they are sick and he is just doing that so as a lover she should give him some self space and stop complaining

    • It's fine to want space. I think it's polite to ask for it if you want it though. He could have simply texted/said something like, "hey, I just need a break for a while to rest and recover"

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