My boyfriend likes his video games more than me?

[gatorgirl12]

We are doing a long distance relationship and he won't call me ever because he is too busy playing COD... Like I don't mind him playing because I like video games too but it's a daily thing and he just texts me but texting won't cut it because the conversations are too slow and boring.

[Orion1084]

I've been reading your responses to some of the other posters, and I'm sorry to say that his priorities are wildly screwed up. I've been a gamer all my life, but there are so many things more important the blowing the virtual heads off of strangers.

Girlfriends/wives should never take a backseat to a video game, ever. I could understand the rare instance of "Hey, I'll call you back after this round" IF he actually followed through, but that doesn't seem to be the case.

I really hate to say it, but it sounds like he needs the wake up call of losing a girlfriend. You deserve to be the most important thing in a guy's life, not some stupid leaderboard or gamerscore. If he's unwilling, or unable, to reassess his priorities, you may want to consider finding a guy who puts you before a virtual battlefield.

[gatorgirl12]

I like this a lot. Thanks... He never really was a good boyfriend anyways. He used to be abusive.

[Orion1084]

Oh wow, really? I'm sorry to hear that. I always hate suggesting that a relationship should end, but knowing that makes me believe even more strongly that you deserve to be with someone better.

I know that ending a relationship is always difficult, but I think that's your best course of action. He doesn't seem to value you as a girlfriend, and so he doesn't deserve you.

I wish you all the best, whatever you decide to do. :-)

[gatorgirl12]

Thanks so much <3 I was thinking the same thing.

[Therealist]

Hey I agree

[Haru-Izo]

Talk to him about it, ask to make up a time of day when u can talk, it could be each night at, say 10pm till you guys fall asleep. Let him game when he wants, trust me, its his passion, But don't think he likes it more then you. Cause thats not true, he might just think ur being unfair. so try and work something out, like a time for u guys to call. I strongly recommend before u go to sleep, cause then talking till one falls asleep is the best, you never know how long its gonna last. And i know LD relationships and REALLY hard, but good luck, and i hope you two can be happy for a while. :)

[gatorgirl12]

The thing is I have talked about it several times he just says he is doing really good and can't stop. Then he says he will call me tomorrow and he never does.

[Haru-Izo]

But do u ever say something like "Babe, i know u love gaming and stuff, but i miss you. i know its important to you, and im not gonna make u chose between me or the game. But im just asking you to give me a little of ur time to. Do you think we could call at like 10 tonight?" cause that should explain everything plus set up a time for u 2 to call

[gatorgirl12]

Yes to all of that. We said 9 pm because I have late classes and 9 is the best time. We went over this he just doesn't call. -_-

[Haru-Izo]

Then if he doesn't call, or want to call, then yes, it is time to end things, cause it gets to point where enough is enough

[wölfin-fräulein]

"we are doing a long distance relationship"

long distance relationships are not relationships. not slightly are and can be as serious as an actual relationship, unless/until the two meet each other.

you say he prefers COD over sex, what sex? video sex? that is jerking off. he can prefer COD over jerking off. that is normal.

you act like you're all over him in front of him and he still doesn't pay attention. let him play his game, and when he was horny enough to leave COD you can masturbate together.

take the whole situation easier.

[gatorgirl12]

We've been dating for 2 and a half years and we went to high school together. We didn't meet online or anything and I visit him like twice a month.

[gatorgirl12]

This is the most irrelevant opinion because you read something I was joking about instead of the actual serious things. We don't even have sex and if we do its when I visit. And I let him play his game but we set up a time every night where we talk for a few minutes about our day and whatnot and he never calls and when I call him he yells at me. So yeah I'm not gonna masturbate with anyone and I've been through this before with him but when I was actually in the same town with him and he chose video games over me every single time. He is just addicted and needs to get his priorities straight. I'm not a bad girlfriend or a bitchy needy one he and his family say I'm amazing but he is too lazy to try which is what he said and that's all.

[Gemstone2411]

I had a long distance relationship 3 years ago, but he would be on phone to me whilst he was playing. Plus he would add me to the game online.

If he really wants to talk to you, he would make an effort.

[misscoffeehead]

He should either call you when his not playing COD, or just don't message him..

[MrOracle]

Let me make this VERY simple for you: dump him and find a new boyfriend, one who is LOCAL to you.

LDRs never work, and relationships with video game addicts almost never work either.

Smarten up and start taking charge of your life. You're WAY too young to start settling for such lousy relationships already, but it's up to YOU to demand better. if you don't, then you'll get what you settle for.

[rjroy3]

Designate a time to have a phone call or a skype/facetime date so he knows way early that for 1 to 3 hours he is yours. As a guy who plays/played world of warcraft, a way more addictive game I know that real life always takes precedence over gametime. But to be fair to him, just being upset he won't get off the "stupid" game to talk to you doesn't sound like much fun when he thinks the conversation is gonna be same old same old. You have to plan ahead so he doesn't have to choose. And you can make it better, by making him feel like talking on the phone with you will be fun. Like phonesex. Sexting, video calls are great for this. Something that makes it more interesting than talking about what was for lunch.
I'm currently long distance myself, so I get what you're going through. But you can't pass off things he enjoys doing as a waste of time and get mad that he doesn't want to stop having fun to talk to you about your day.

[gatorgirl12]

We set up 9 pm every night because it fits my schedule and he is free too. but he never calls and when I call he gets pissed because "i make him lose"

[rjroy3]

Well that's a dick move on his part.

[gatorgirl12]

Yeah I should of been clearer in my question.

[rjroy3]

Was that a one time thing or is that common?

[gatorgirl12]

Its an every night thing unless I bitch which I don't wanna do to have him do something. I have a feeling he is only nice to me right now because he knows he is losing me because the past 3 and a half years he hasn't tried for the life of him and I would break up with him and he'd be nice for like 2 months then go back.

[rjroy3]

Why do you stay with him?

[gatorgirl12]

Maybe I'm just afraid to be alone

[rjroy3]

Do you have friends that you can rely on?

[gatorgirl12]

Not yet I just moved to a new place and I've had a lot going on like school and my moms wedding and my cousins wedding and visiting my boyfriend I haven't had time for myself.

[rjroy3]

I would, if I were you. Take the time you've been saving for that phone call with your boyfriend. Go out on the town and meet people. Find people you can spend time with that you don't feel like crap around and focus on them/you. Establish yourself and break up with your boyfriend. Because if this is his normal behavior, he's not going to change for you. No ultimatum in the world will work. And honestly, ultimatum are a bad idea anyways

[gatorgirl12]

Yeah I wouldn't ever give an ultimatum. but thanks for the advice I mean I live in gainesville where the University of florida is how hard is it to meet anyone?

[rjroy3]

I actually have friends there lol. It's not hard at all.

[rjroy3]

Pretty sure there are still KKK around tho. Careful lol

[gatorgirl12]

I live in the ghetto if a KKK member goes anywhere within the area they're gone. Where I live for sure makes it hard to meet anyone because it's away from UF and more near an area where the antisocial mix with late night walmart addicts.

[rjroy3]

You could always go into town. They have some nice spots during the day. I'm not sure if there is much a nightlife tho

[gatorgirl12]

Have you been there?

[rjroy3]

2 times, but both were for events. My friend was going to the university and everything was planned during the day

[rjroy3]

Footbaaallllll!

[gatorgirl12]

True. well bet you had a lot of fun. My grandparents want me to go to frat parties because my cousin is in a frat house but I know what happens in frat houses and I'm not interested in it.

[rjroy3]

Yeaa, I'd say don't go unless you know people that you can trust that you could go with. Preferably a guy

[gatorgirl12]

My cousin sure as hell wouldn't watch over me he would be busy drinking and talking to girls.

[rjroy3]

You can make friends at school : )

[gatorgirl12]

see that's a problem lol I'm shy. Like I'd have a better chance meeting people in social gatherings than in school. I feel awkward especially since everyone is so quiet and doesn't talk to eachother. I go to community college

[Cid102]

Is he the introvert type? If so that could be what is happening here, and the fact that it is long distance means this side of him maybe coming out again. Folks like to use labels like "video game addiction" or point the finger at something that everyone else demonizes. The solution maybe that this is just what he is normally like.

Also, long distance stuff is hard... it is very easy to lose sight of a relationship at this stage. The two of you may just be starting to drift apart.

[gatorgirl12]

He is an extravert

[gatorgirl12]

But I'm a huge introvert lol

[Cid102]

Ha ha, well then it seems like the two of you are just hitting the bump lots of couples hit in the long distance relationship phase. My suggestion is try it out and hopefully it works out, but don't force it to keep going on if the two of you start drifting apart.

[gatorgirl12]

The thing is when I moved to dallas and I broke up with him for like 6 months for the one week before i moved back home would call me and Skype me and do everything for me but now he just doesn't do any of that. He texts me but never about anything important just random 4-7 letter shit.

[Cid102]

literally the way you describe him, he sounds more like a fling and less like a boyfriend.

[Cid102]

i might be reading your message incorrectly though

[gatorgirl12]

I wish it was that simple. Its been 3 and a half years you'd think it would sound like a real relationship by now

[CommieKiller]

I'm a pretty hardcore nerd and a gamer, but honestly I can't see myself ignoring a girl for very long over a game. I might spend a couple of hours playing Minecraft or the new Borderlands game every now and then. But a lot of days I don't even play anything. So yeah, I think he's got a problem playing too many hours, has his priorities mixed up, and has shitty taste in games.

[gatorgirl12]

How is the new borderlands?

[gatorgirl12]

and for sure

[CommieKiller]

Well I haven't beat the new Borderlands yet but so far it's been pretty fun. It basically follows the story of Handsome Jack.

[gatorgirl12]

I wanna play it so bad but I was an idiot and sold my ps3 to get my ps4

[zaclark375]

When did a new borderlands come out? I got too deep into dark souls and haven't paid attention to another game in forever... On topic, I agree with what he says. I love playing video games but not to the point where I'd let them be a more important part of my day than my GF

[CommieKiller]

Yep, those latest consoles really screwed anyone who bought all the hype about them. It's been a year, hardly any games have released for them, and the best games this year are all releasing on last gen consoles. I'm glad I knew better than to buy one of those things soon as they came out.

[gatorgirl12]

I didn't buy it as soon as it came out. My boyfriend had the ps3 and I bought the ps4 but I ended up moving to gainesville. I'll probably get my games back from him and buy a new ps3 though.

[CommieKiller]

One of my best friends pre-ordered one, he regrets it now. Between Borderlands and the new Dragon Age game coming out next month, I'm still happy with my 360..

[gatorgirl12]

I don't regret it because it's really nice and the games look so good on it just I wish it was backwards compatible.

[CommieKiller]

I'm just waiting for them to get some games I actually want to play.

[gatorgirl12]

True mine was kinda an impulse with bad judgement.

[CommieKiller]

I play Minecraft on my laptop more than anything.. no other games really offer that kind of creative outlet.

[gatorgirl12]

I've never played that and It's about building things right? I saw a south park episode about it.

[CommieKiller]

Yeah, the South Park episode was fairly accurate. I love that series. :3

[gatorgirl12]

Me too lol it's the only show that hasn't lost its humor.

[CommieKiller]

I agree, all that Seth MacFarlane crap has become so stale...

[gatorgirl12]

Everything is just so annoying and gay.

[CommieKiller]

Yeah, it is. I'm not too crazy about most of that Adult Swim crap either. Attack on Titan was epic though.

[gatorgirl12]

Ever since I started college and moved I said goodbye to cable.

[CommieKiller]

I don't even watch TV, I just watch the shows I want to on my laptop. Don't feel like sitting through 100 pill commercials only to miss the best part because someone had to distract me.

[gatorgirl12]

I watch it on my laptop too. Same with every other show but I haven't really watched much lately besides the primetime shows.

[CommieKiller]

I mostly just watch cartoons..

[gatorgirl12]

Like what?

[CommieKiller]

Lately just South Park, Clarence, Uncle Grandpa, and Steven Universe.. Just finished Space Dandy and Attack on Titan a few weeks back. I like a lot of older cartoons too.

[BEatenyou]

Keepig a long dostamce relationship is always difficult. Especially if both individuals are in college or working.
My advice to you, let it happen dont tell him anything. at least for a week or two. If he doesn't reply to you or ask about the lack of talk. Then you hae our real
Answer for your relationship. And from there you can look towards your future and see if its worth being with him.

[Khakishro]

Video games are my solace from life. Video games would never reject you, cheat on you, or dump you. I would learn to except that. The issue I think is the long distance thing. I've learned from experience that they never work...

[gatorgirl12]

Yeah long distance definitely grows people apart. And there is nothing wrong with loving video games it's just when you can't find time for your significant other then that's a problem.

[Khakishro]

If he can't set a specific time when you guys will do something together, then yeah he has a problem though. Sounds like he can't be bothered to have a girlfriend if that is the case

[Axel101]

Just make him call with you everyday, It doesn't have to be a 30 minutes convo but I'm sure he can spend 10 minutes of his 14 hours (24 minus the sleep or something like that) to call his girlfriend..

[gatorgirl12]

Yeah but he doesn't understand that. I tried everything and nothing works besides calling him but he gets mad when I call him.

[Axel101]

I was like your BF a while too, I was busy on school and my GF wanted to call a lot whilst I was middle in a game haha. It was childish from me to say no just because I was "busy". He shouldn't get mad at you, you should get mad at him.. let him know that you are not going to be #3/#4 on his most important list, you should always be #1!

[gatorgirl12]

I always tell him that :( he puts his friends and video games before me though. He dropped out of high school and doesn't even have his license at 21 he should be happy to be with a smart and pretty person like me.

[Axel101]

Well you don't know what you've got untill it's gone, I sure as hell can relate to that haha. I'm not trying to say you need to break up but you do have to make him clear that if he doesn't even can spend 10 minutes of his day on you that you might need to do some drastic things to get him to change his mind.

[gatorgirl12]

yeah definitely i read a lot of these posts and you guys know guys better than I do.

[Mesonfielde]

I am always surprised the option of "playing the multiplayer game with him" is not an option whenever these questions come up.

[gatorgirl12]

We have different consoles. :/

[Mesonfielde]

PC master race

[FlyingTurtle]

I tried doing that with my ex with League of Legends. I didn't enjoy it and he often got annoyed with me for being a really sucky player lol. Not always the best idea.

[Mesonfielde]

@FlyingTurtle yeah LoL is basically a perfect way to grow to hate all of your friends, but we were doing this with Mass Effect 3 coop and vanguarding everything and it was fun

[gatorgirl12]

Lol guys get too wrapped up in these things. Like why would you get mad at your girlfriend for being a sucky player at a game they don't even like? I'm really good at Call of duty though

[Mesonfielde]

In league, you hate everyone

[Theguyoverthere]

He's probably an addict. This is a problem I've seen many guys and girls face when their S/O is addcted to MMO's like WoW.

[gatorgirl12]

Well what should I do?

[Theguyoverthere]

Give him an ultimatum. That's what they always come down to unfortunately. Check olganon. org for stories of people being addicted to MMORPGs who suffer your scenarios.

[Mooooo]

Dump him 100% it's you always first, then what ever he does when your busy if he can't deal with it then dump him

[PhiOmega]

this is one situation when I'd say you should tell him to just get the hell off his games and talk, there's no arguing or debating on which is more important,

I mean just let him know this is something that has to change

[Nochielo]

Shitty priorities say a lot about someone. I love gaming myself, but geez... he isn't being very smart.

[gatorgirl12]

Yeah I love it too but I don't have it take over my life It's like a side hobby. My relationship and school come before it.

[SomeoneImportant]

COD is lame. If it was Madden or NBA2K, I'd say give him a pass.

[gatorgirl12]

NBA2K is good :)

[SomeoneImportant]

Yes it is. Stresses me out, but still a great game.

[Klaatu51]

let him enjoy his video-games why should he call you everyday? i'd feel the same.

[Anonymous]

1st world problems... honest to god, there are children starving in Africa, and this is what you're complaining about... should be happy you even have a boyfriend, even if it is long distance

[gatorgirl12]

Apples and oranges

[Opinion Owner]

Bananas and Grapes? I mean what kind of response is that, seriously...

[gatorgirl12]

they are two completely different things you can't compare this to children starving in africa. If you were to compare it to that then everyone on here is unworthy in your eyes. If you are so cynical then why are you even on here?

[Opinion Owner]

To be fair, every one of these peoples problems, are first world problems... I just looked at your problem, read it and was like, really? This is what you're going to complain about...

[gatorgirl12]

There is more to my situation than this I just didn't want to make it long. My problem is a lot worse than mentioned.

[Opinion Owner]

Oh, really, tell me about it then, oh wise one... what other "problems" are there?

[Anonymous]

Do you know how fun COD is?

[gatorgirl12]

Would you choose COD over sex?

[Opinion Owner]

I was joking haha no I wouldn't

[gatorgirl12]

Oh lol

[Anonymous]

ur just not that important to him