This is a question that has been lingering in my mind for a while.
How come so many people are obsessed with the man being taller than the woman in a relationship? Some people even go as far as to make fun of tall women and short men, and often they outright refuse to date these people. I just don't understand.
Why is it so important for the guy to be taller than the girl?
I've been hearing "protection" a lot, but is this true? And if this is true, why is protection so important?
As @Mesonfielde pointed out, why don't you take self-defense classes or carry pepper spray?
And how come a taller man makes you feel protected? After all, tall does not automatically mean strong. I'm genuinely curious.
That's actually quite simple, it's cultural indoctrination. People rationalize it saying "they want to feel protected", but that doesn't really make sense in today's context. In fact, if they truly wanted to feel protected, they'd take self-defense classes and buy pepper spray.
In reality, these girls also tend to claim that the "guy should be tall enough so that she can wear high heels and still stay shorter so that she will feel like a woman next to him". That is obviously not a biological concept, women aren't biologically designed to wear high heels (or in general, ever, at all; high heels are terrible for your feet).
So technically there seems to be some kind of sense of self-validation of an ideal that one learns to expect from a relationship. If that makes any sense. I don't know if that makes sense, I'm high on caffeine right now.
I think it's completely ridiculous that society puts so much emphasis on this. I like tall guys and I like short guys too. The whole protection thing is fine but #1 just because a guy is small doesn't mean he can't protect you and #2 protection ultimately falls upon yourself. I brought up this concept of short guys with taller girls to a group of my friends and they all flipped out. They wouldn't even consider it. I think That's a really great way to pass up on lots of amazing men.
I think it's natural instinct. There are certain easily recognizable traits associated with males and females, and we are instinctively attracted to those traits.
There are some traits that are learned, like hair length for example. In most cultures short hair or long hair are a very quick initial clue to the person's gender. From a distance we can recognize that even faster than height and overall size.
Height, breasts, facial hair, hips, overall size, pitch of voice. These are all natural traits associated with gender. Hair length, makeup, clothes, maybe mannerisms, are learned traits. Both the natural and learned traits combine to identify the gender. We are attracted to the opposite gender, and so we are attracted to some combination of those traits, both learned and natural traits.
1) Tallness in men is so ingrained into our society as a desirable trait that it has became a status symbol that men strive to achieve and women strive to be with. It's almost identical to how the Western standard of beauty in females is based off of European features, which makes men gravitate to women with such features while at the same time making women desire to be as such. Humans apparently have a knack to either want to be the status symbol or at least be associated with it.
2. Tallness is a masculine trait that gives off the appearance of dominance which I guess is an appearance that makes many women's panties wet. This goes hand in hand with the "Bad Boy" image. The bad boy and the tall guy both possess traits that makes them come off as very dominating which some women loves.
3. Society has conditioned everyone to automatically think that the man MUST be taller then the women at ALL TIMES. This is so ingrained in us that it has become the status quo or the standard. Since deviating from the standard will result in mockery and judgement from others; people just simply follow it. That's why you see so many questions online from girls asking whether they should date this particular short guy or not, as if they need the consent of society (us) in order to deviate from the norm
Height is associated with with power and strength. not saying it is true by any means, but I think this is how many women see it- and even the professional world.
My old flatmate always hated going out with me to meet ladies because he was 5'6 and I am 6'3. Even though he could beat my ass- not that I was not stronger than him, or he was really buff- but he actually knew how to fight and I am a pretty gentle guy lol anyway, almost every time girls would go after me over him, even though I think if you were to just look at us without knowing our heights, he was waaaaaay more classically handsome than I am! Girls have always told me they feel safe with me and like feeling little. Sure it is wrong and all, but who are we to say girls can't have preferences?
Just as guys usually prefer not to date fat girls? Is it mean or wrong? absolutely- but they are entitled to their preferences in the end
Just to clarify, I actually usually date taller girls 5'6ish and up (another thing my flatmate was always ticked about, the girls I dated and hence came around were always taller than him lol) so I don't really fall in with guys who like having a smaller, petite girl around.
Probably an egoism thing where a man needs to feel like as if he's bringing something to the relationship. Think about it. Traditionally , men had been the breadwinner , the homemaker , the "protector of the house". However , with the rise of the women's right movement. Women also bring bread to the house. Men are no longer the sole breadwinner or the homemaker. Now the last feature that a man traditionally can bring to the house is being the "protector". Remove that , what unique feature can a man bring that a woman can't?
Ergo the "emasculating" feeling and the whole "feel like a man" sensation. It's probably on the way out tho.
Humans as a species is walking away from the animalistic brute that is defined but elements that is beyond the consciousness's control. Less so biological determinism of... oh you're born so and so , therefore you must act so and so but more so defined by what you want to be. Some people may find that freedom scary or... "unnatural". However , I say those people are just slaves to their flesh instead of being master of it. Cos after all , that's what being human is about. Control.
Seriously though, I think it is just because the average height of men is taller than the average height of women. So if you throw people together randomly, the average couple would have the guy taller than the girls. so that is what we are used to and expect.
It's to do with protection. As a short man into lifting weights, boxing, MMA etc. I know that tall doesn't automatically = strong, everyone I've fought has been taller than me and while I'm no superman I've won more than I've lost. The same goes for big muscles, plenty of bodybuilders look tough but couldn't fight their way out of a wet paper bag. It's probably a subconscious thing.
As for the importance of protection, again I think it's subconscious. We don't choose things we find attractive based entirely on logic. Society has advanced a lot faster than we've evolved, in more dangerous times protection especially by men was necessary for survival, and I'd even argue that it still is. You can't rely on police all the time, they aren't always there to protect you. I encourage all women to learn self-defence, however a trained woman 99.9% of the time is no match for a trained man since we generally have the size and strength advantage as well as denser bone structure giving us the advantage of being less likely to sustain injury.
Evolutionary psychology. A tall guy makes a girl feel safer than a shorter guy, just on a purely biological level. The same way that big tits and birthing hips is associated with fertility. Even if the guy doesn't want kids, we still have that internal response because of the psychology of our ancestors. It's not right or wrong. It just IS
The Netherlands has one of the highest distributions of tall people. Your country would be obsessed. If the woman is secure with herself, she shouldn't HAVE to date men taller than her.
Nevertheless, it should not matter. I've known short dudes who are successful who only date women taller than them. It's seen around all the time. Yes, it can be striking and it's awesome. Some women just have to make due with the other components for what they want in a mate.
The small, frigid dames who want to paint the guy they date as a knight and then inflame a situation because they want them to be their protector can do harm at times.
From heart problems, the body having to work harder to pump blood. Or bone density, where limbs can be over strained when too long. Being tall isn't always practical. The human body is slowly adapting when presented with inching either up or out from obesity, our species is what we make of it.
I haven't know many men who have insisted that their woman be shorter than they are. I've known many men who get upset when women claim to like tall men, but I haven't personally known any men who insist their girl be shorter.
I have personally known a few women who say they prefer taller men. Usually the answer they give is they feel he is more manly and they feel protected.
I think it's something in the biological imperative that men must protect women. We're talking deep mind, subconscious stuff this need men have to protect women and women to feel "safe". I've dated a woman taller than me, but then again I'm 6 foot even she stood at least 5 inches over me, but would also wear heels so she towered over everyone. I certainly don't think about how tall a potential mate is, but I know a lot of women ask about height in online profiles.
It's cultural conditioning. The "protection" thing is complete horseshit. Ed Coan was probably one of the strongest men alive, and he was 5'6. Louis Cyr was the strongest man in history, and he was 5'9. Paul Anderson was only 5'10 when he squatted 1,200 lbs. Hell, Lamar Gant was 5'2 and 135 lbs when he deadlifted 688 lbs in training.
I'm 5'7, and I very rarely see other men lifting more than me at my university gym.
well, i am a regular sized guy at 5'11'' and i personally know guys much shorter than me who can kick my ass real bad and those at 6'3'' whom i can easily beat up. The correlation of size and strength is absolutely bs. Its an overrated thing, look at tom cruise, he was 5'6'' or sth and he probably looks younger than me at 55 lol. We generally have a knack of pulling down others to uplift our own egos, its sick but thats how we work.
Another generalization done by people! Like why do you even think that the guy you're with will get into you or himself in trouble and you'd want him to protect you? Its clearly stating that women are weak? To what I've seen here, guys with short height are dating taller girls because they seem to be smart, intellectual type or possibly rich so women don't mind dating these men. But yeah for me I'd definitely want a taller girl to break this stereotyping or whatever this is :p
I'm 5'6 and would feel like i'm the shortest guy at the bar. I used to be concerned by my height, but now I just don't give one single fuck, cause that's me and that's how i am. I don't have to be tall to "protect" my girl.
I do not see it from the "feel secure" perspective. In my mind, it just looks much more romantic if the girl looks UP to the guy when standing up. It is just so much more romantic when you hug and her head rests on your chest. It is so much more romantic when she has to tippy-toe to reach the guys lips to kiss him.
I think it has to do with how we view ourselves. Some women do not feel right dating a man who is shorter than she is. Men feel like they are less of a man, because the woman is viewed as the alpha in the relationship. Personally I do not care if the woman is taller than me. Love comes in all shapes and sizes.
For some reason a part of me as a male wants to be able to look after the girl. And her being physically shorter sort of adds to that and you feel more like you are needed to protect her from whatever. But that's just me anyways, I seem to fall for shorter girls anyways. Even though tall is kinda hot
Why is it so important for the guy to be taller than the girl? In my opinion it is most likely attraction with taller bodies being more appealing. Little different from how it is so important for the gal to be younger than the guy due to attraction. Many guys will give bs rationalizations for their shallowness like fertility despite the no to low inclination to procreate. Just like many gals will give the bs rationalization of protection despite modern society staggering decline in physical threats.
ve been hearing "protection" a lot, but is this true? It is likely a true aspect but not the core reason. No different than fertility is a true aspect of preferring younger but the core reason is younger gals being more attractive.
And if this is true, why is protection so important? Probably because of traditional gender roles viewing males as protectors. Plus gals probably want to feel safe and secure arounnd their partner.
As @Mesonfielde pointed out, why don't you take self-defense classes or carry pepper spray? Because such gals want their partner to protect them. Protection is a trait sought in the partner. Mesonfielde rationale for me is like a gal saying 'I want attractiveness in a partner because it gets me wet' and his response is 'why do you get yourself wet'.
And how come a taller man makes you feel protected? After all, tall does not automatically mean strong. Perception. No different than how young does not automatically mean fertile yet guys cling to that as a bs rationalization for picking younger gals.
I know that the height of a man or even his muscle mass doesn't mean he is capable of protecting someone but it does give that impression. If you're on the street & an attacker sees you by yourself looking vulnerable he might take that opportunity to approach you now if a man comes along much bigger than him & looks much stronger he might back down, if a man comes along & looks scrawny & weak then he might take that risk. So if you have a bigger guy it's natural to feel safer with him because he's quite intimidating. I've had creepy men stare me down & my 6ft 300lb dad scares them off. Now for me I'm very short. I'm 5'1" and only weigh 105 lbs. Most people I run into on the street are taller than me even if they're shorter than the average height. So I've just developed a taste for taller guys but that doesn't mean they have to necessarily be tall they just need to be bigger than I am because I enjoy the contrast in height.
My reason is... it makes me feel feminine when the guy is taller. Naturally I also just feel more attracted and drawn to it. Similarly as to how I'm more drawn to guys with brunette hair and brown eyes. But I guess if I had to target a specific reason it would be cause I feel feminine having the guy be taller than me.
Funny thing about "protection, " it is a perceived thing.
I went into a series of haunted houses at a theme park with my 6'3" boyfriend, and if I was near him or touching him the "ghouls" left me alone. When I wandered away, they jumped at me. They never even approached him at all. Like it or not, the perception is that taller guys are not to be messed with.
The truth is, he hates those things and only went in to make me happy. He wouldn't hurt a fly.
Increased height is a sign of increased dominance. It is a primitive instinct for females to search for the mate who can defend her and/or the clan and produce viable offspring. When early humans were still evolving in the grasslands of Africa, predators often preyed upon them. It was essential for humans to be taller than the grass for visibility and to have longer legs for faster running. However, increased height is not only a large factor in dating - it is a significant detail in leaders and executives. The majority of all global leaders and those in important executive positions tend to be above 6'0
Just as men want a woman with a great face and a porn-star quality body (large breasts are a sign of fertility) to produce healthy offspring, women want a man who can defend and protect her and/or the tribe. Height on a man is like breasts on a woman, essentially.
I don't fucking know. Honestly, I'm short myself so I'm usually attracted to guys near my height, not towering above me. As for the protection thing, shorter height does not mean a guy is incapable of "protecting" his girl or whatever. Sexual attraction isn't exactly logical.
The reason I am attracted to tall and large guys it s because they are the complete opposite of what I am (1.62 and 49kg). So yea I guess i am drawn to what I don t have (opposites attract anw no?). Also, I guess for me it s a dominance thing. It s overwhelming when he s all over you. You get the feeling he can do whatever he wants with you.
Well, having just read a couple of studies it does appear, as I suspected, to be a mix of cultural and instinctual reasoning and influence. We have to take into account though that preferences are dependent on your own height and that there is a cut off whereby a man will be too tall. There has been evidence to suggest that taller men are healthier and on average experience more sexual success than men who are shorter (although it's average height men who are making the babies, not the tall ones). It has been shown that men prefer an average height woman but that "short" is not a preference, only shorter than them.
There was an interesting side study which I think is worth mentioning. There was a study done with regards to gay men and height preference. With a gay relationship it suggests that for the most part one partner will be the dominant and the other the submissive, and that these traits were manifested in the preference for a tall or shorter partner. With the case of an egalitarian preference toward the relationship dynamic there seemed to be little height preference, showing it wasn't important. So... this leads me to conclude that a woman who wants a more traditional dynamic of a dominant man and more submissive partner (this is with regards to interactions and not necessarily sex) will find taller men attractive and a man who prefers a more submissive female will prefer a shorter woman. Of course, there are a whole host of other avenues which we could go into, but I just thought these were worth mentioning.
I respect everyone : Race, Young, Old, Short and Tall. For me personally I like a guy who is either has the same height as I or a bit taller. My reasons though are because I wanna be looking on the same level or upwards , never below. Its more of a preference really.
For me it makes me feel secure, knowing that my partner is taller. If I wear footwear that is high I expect the guy to be taller than me still. As I'm 5.6" and wear minimum height of shoes of 2". As well as this I find men who are tall attractive anyway.
It's funny, because guys like to say that girls are the reason that they don't date us tall girls, (I'm 6'0 tall) but I have never had an issue with being attracted to shorter guys. They are always the ones saying they couldn't date someone taller than them.