Can an attractive guy get away with not asking girls out and having them approach him?

Bottom line I am 20 years old, very attractive (8/10 according to most girls I talk to), never had a girlfriend, and I really just want girls to ask me out and initiate things. I have tried the initiation thing and it really isn't for me. Everything about it is basically conflicting with my personality, its extremely difficult for me to take risks, I am not good at communicating with other people outside of an environment where I understand the topic (I dont understand women or relationships), and I dont understand ques of any kind (whether they are verbal, physical, or whatever), and all of these things are pretty important when initiating. I figured most girls are way better at all of these things then I am so they should be approaching me. Unfortunately since I adopted this philosophy I have had zero interest from girls, being an attractive guy I've had a couple girls try to have sex with me but I am looking for a relationship NOT sex, and girls looking for serious relationships just never approach me. Whats the deal here I thought this should be a viable thing for me to do right? I mean what kind of girl doesn't want a good looking guy who will treat her right? Will girls start initiating things with me eventually or am I doomed to fail?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think you're doomed to fail. You just have to put yourself in the right environment. If you're in college you can join a fraternity, a club, or play a sport. If you have a job in a retail or restaurant environment you can meet people there. I don't think the bar scene is what you're looking for, but I do have friends who are in a relationship that started as a hook up. They are the exception though.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well... I actually used to be a fat, unattractive slob during my teens and early 20s, yet some girls asked me out. Both my previous relationships happened during that period, and the girls themselves initiated things in both cases.

    It's strange that after I shed the extra pounds, got a make over and often get complimented for being more attractive, I hardly get female attention!

    So you see, it's not about looks here. It can depend on several factors. But a lot more girls these days are open to initiate, than what we are made to believe.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Well get a little comfortable to invoke a girl to believe you have interest in her but don't just sit quietly

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  • You need to at least show them you're interested. Give them a smile or something. I won't approach a guy unless he looks approachable and open.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Got ya pegged for a troll but I'll humor it.

    Guys whom are indeed good looking can expect the following:

    - Mothers/aunts suggesting you either know their daughter or niece and suggest that you talk to her or go to the park to walk their dogs with them.

    - Girls from work suggest you go out for sushi or give them rides to their place just because.

    - Gym attendants needing to say goodbye to you when you could care less whether or not they do.

    - Girls smile at you when you make eye contact but only really need her to throw some thrash away because they're headed in that direction.

    All these situations definitely involve almost little to no effort on your part, good luck.

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    • -I have had mothers (and fathers) tell me I could date their daughter (usually because I am really studious around them, and they like that), they were serious about it, but when I said "I would be open to it" they didn't make any attempts to start the relationship (I guess assuming I would do it, which I didn't, cause thats not my thing)
      -Girls from work only hang out with me when I suggest it, and or initiate the hangout
      -I dont go to the gym.
      -Girls smile at me all the time, but they never come talk to me.

      Thats the problem, all of these situations require effort because the girl never just asks me herself. Maybe she is intimidated by my looks? I really dont know.

  • Who cares. Start a business so that you'll have a Gulfstream by 30.

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  • Most girls, like over 95 percent of them, will never approach a guy or ask a guy out first, unfortunately

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  • very rarely

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