A 40 year old man with no children and never married?

I am currently dating a man in his early 40's, handsome, great career, seems like a sweet guy but he has not children and never been married. Some people are telling me that it's a red flag. Should I be concerned?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It would depend why. There are a ton of reasons why a guy may never have had kids. Some would be flags, some would not. Best bet would be to ask him about it, if it is a concern for you.

    He might not have found the right woman, or at least a woman he wanted to have a child with.

    He might have been focused on building a career first, hoping that he could find love later in life after he had put in the late nights that can kill a relationship.

    He might have tried to have a relationship and build a career at the same time, only to have late nights and tight deadlines constantly get in the way. Maybe this is something that is no longer the case. Maybe it is something you'll have to watch for.

    He might be unable to have children.

    He might not want children.

    He might have had a lot of confidence issues with the opposite sex, and found women his own age intimidating. You might be young enough that he felt safe to harmlessly flirt a bit, and then was pleasantly surprised when it actually worked.

    He might have moved around a lot, making it hard to build something long term enough to result in kids.

    He might have had parents that divorced, and then promised himself never to get married unless he was sure the girl was the one and only (this reason kind of pushed me and both of my brothers into being mid-30s with no kids and no wife, though we found what we were looking for in our 30s). And if he was only willing to have kids with someone he was married to, it's not surprising that it hasn't happened yet.

    There could even be more outrageous ideas. Maybe he was struggling with his sexuality, before finally deciding he was straight after all. Maybe he has a very particular fetish, or is only attracted to people with a very specific set of criteria, that you happen to have.

    Could be tons of reasons. As I say... if you are worried about it, ask him. He would be expecting the questions, I'm sure.

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    • Well his parents have been married for 40 years. Still going strong. He grew up in a very strict household. I did wonder if he ever struggled with his sexuality. That would be a big concern for me. I would rather not be with a man that has ever struggled with his sexuality. I also can see it being self confidence issues. An older woman I know met him maybe 20 years ago and said he was very shy and nervous around her.

    • The confidence problems could have had a lot to do with it. Someone that was really awkward in their 20s, but whose success in business eventually made them feel more confident as they got older... that would fit.

What Guys Said 10

  • Really depends, I mean everything is seen as a red flag. Same guy, 40 and never married having a bunch of kids seems like a red flag to me.

    Does he only date girls half his age? maybe he doesn't want to be in a serious long term, relationship that's why he dates so young.

    If he's that old just ask him whats up. He's long passed beating around bush when it comes to women.

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  • Depends why, if he's been focusing on his career and is now secure enough in his profession to date it might be ideal. On the other hand it might be that he's just not husband material.

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  • Don't worry. Just be with him if he makes you happy. It seems he focused on his career rather than dating. If you flip the genders a woman like this would be a hero.

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  • Yep absolutely. Something must have kept him single and unattached for that long

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  • By the time George Clooney was 40 he didn't have kids and wasn't married. Would it be a red flag if you dated him? I'm assuming here that most girls fancy him.

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  • 20 years does seem like quite a lot... 😕

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  • Well not everyone wants kids, or marriage, also MGTOW FTW

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  • It is possible he never wanted children and had no immediate desire to marry. Some people just do their own thing and do not follow social norms, that shouldn't be a red flag.

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  • Your friends saying that's a red flag is itself a red flag to me about your friends...

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  • Maybe he has a small penis? I was single into my 30s because of one.

    That or he's just too nice for most women.

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    • but he is very handsome and some what rich. You think a small penis would stop women from marrying him?

    • It might stop him from asking, especially if he's been burned before.

What Girls Said 1

  • No! Don't even give a shit to what people say.

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