What do I do if my boyfriend wants to have sex?

Im not ready im 14 going on 15 he is 15 going on 16 i have been dating my boyfriend for 1 year but i have known him my whole life our parents went to middle school together and it so happened we grow up together and liked each other im in 9th grade he is in 11th grade and we have never talked about sex tell now but he is been kinda of a push push kinda guy and he is never like this what do i do i want to but i want to talk more about it and have protection and not jump right in to something i will regret What do i do if my boyfriend wants to have sex???


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Nope! Nope nope nope nope nope.

    DON'T let him bully you into sex. You want to have sex with a MAN. A MAN doesn't pressure his girlfriend into having sex, he EARNS it by respecting you when you say you don't want it.

    14 is WAY too young for a guy or girl to be having sex. Wait until you're 20 and in college, have more privacy, have a better body, and can make better decisions for yourself... you'll be surrounded by more mature guys then too!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I wouldn't do it sweetheart, I know sometimes it's hard to constantly tell someone you love no but he needs to respect that you are not ready. He's 16 he has lots of time he dosent need to rush it because if you force things it will end up hurting you both in the end.
    If you two are spending time together and he keeps asking and making you uncomfortable it's okay to make an excuse to leave and let him cool down.
    You can love someone without having sex (especially at such a young age) so when he says "you love me don't you?" Don't feel guilty.
    Stand your ground and know when it's time to walk away from the situation to avoid you both getting hurt

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What Guys Said 12

  • Just tell him very clearly "no." Beating around the bush and letting him think he has a chance of doing it if he pushes enough will only exacerbate things and make him more pushy on it. Even saying that you can talk about it may make it worse... prepare for him to try and convince you and get pushy.

    Since you aren't interested (and you are only 14 for one thing), draw the line in the relationship. If you don't draw the line clearly and instead try compromising with this stuff, it can easily lead to a slippery slope. Rather, if you do things like say "we can just do oral since that isn't as bad," that can easily escalate to something more like penetration. Right now, he is trying to escalate from kissing to sex.

    As a boyfriend, he shouldn't be doing something manipulative like that... the if-you-love-me-you'll-do-what-I-want speech. Love doesn't work like that. That isn't love. That's manipulation. I've had friends like that in the past with the if-you-are-my-friend speeches. Those are toxic.
    If he tries to go on that route and pressure you into something you don't want to do (i. e. sex), you can first talk to him about it and tell him he is becoming manipulative. And, if he doesn't stop after that and realize how much he is screwing up, there is the option of breaking up.

    You should do it when YOU are ready. Don't tell/lie to yourself that you are ready for the sake of your boyfriend either. Tell him directly, tell him clearly, tell him no.

    While relationships may have compromise in them, this is one of the things you DON'T compromise with.

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  • It's simple. You tell him no and stick to your guns. But don't be a tease and let him finger you and such either

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    • Omg we haven't made any sorta of sex contact with one another the only thing we have done is kiss and alittle of making out thats it

    • Then just say no

  • Not ready = don't do it. First times leave an impact on you for the rest of your life, consciously or subconsciously.

    Don't let him pressure you. Assure him that you want to lose it to him one day, but you are just not ready for that at the moment. Don't feel guilty at all. I would be upset if a girl pressured me into having sex with her.

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  • If you're not ready, you're not ready, but at the same time, if he's ready, he's ready.

    You need to accept that it's possible that you two may need to break up over this. It's not right for him to pressure you into something you're not ready to do, and it's not right for you to make him hold back on progressing in life.

    You need to make a decision on it, and it is your responsibility to tell him your decision within a reasonable amount of time. Whether it's yes or no, there is no wrong answer.

    Well... having sex without a condom would be the wrong answer. So whatever you do, don't do that.

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  • You stick to your guns honey... He can choke his chicken if he has to and, if he respects you, then he will wait. Right now, he sounds like a standard horny teenage boy.

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    • I will... and what if i dont? Think he will leave me for someone who will fill his needs

    • If he does leave you, good! That just then proves he's an immature douche with no self-discipline. Believe me, you want to know that ASAP because you would have had other problems with him later.

  • You're right. You're too young. You have to summon up your willpower and just say NO! He may threaten to stop seeing you but most likely he'll be bluffing. Sex is not a good idea for you yet.

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  • Don't let him play that fucking card! Don't let him play the "Don't you love me? Let's do it!" NO! If you want to talk about it, you better make sure he's going to as well, don't you dare have sex before thouroughly analyzing. Pertection, remember!

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  • Have sex. Or don't. It's up to you, really.

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  • Just say no. :)
    If he pushes you for it after that he's not worth your time. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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  • Hmm hadjobs and blow jobs are out of the question? 1 year is quite awhile

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    • Dude, wtf? She's a kid.

    • Show All
    • Sex ed is something required to be taught in the U. S. You speak of maturity and how different cultures maturity levels vary, yet you know so little about the one you're calling immature. Oh, and it's not a new emoji.

    • @xXiTacoXx No it is not, i graduated from a US high school and sex ed was never required.

      22 states and the District of Columbia require public schools teach sex education (20 of which mandate sex education and HIV education).
      33 states and the District of Columbia require students receive instruction about HIV/AIDS.
      ref, www.ncsl.org/.../...-sex-education-in-schools.aspx

      Anyways im not bashing you and i never called you nor your culture immature. Just because another culture has a set of beliefs does not mean anyone must hate or despise them. Anyways im done, have a good night :)
      thanks for the lesson in emoji by the way

  • don't do it now you are just 15

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  • Don't do it if YOU are not yet ready to loose your virginity.

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What Girls Said 7

  • You are 14. You aren't ready for sex, it comes with a lot of emotion. Like, the things you get mad about now.. You'll blow up about once you guys have sex. Let's say he was texting some girl from school saying they were just "friends" you probably wouldn't appreciate it but after you give him your virginity. It's a different level, the things that you use to shake off will drive you nuts. I'm 20 now, I lost my virginity at 16 and the guy I'm with now.. who I have been with for 2 years, I wish I would have saved mysellf for him. I took his virginity but he didn't get a chance to take mine. You should wait until you find someone or have been with someone longer. These guys wake up and feel completely different that yesterday. Don't do it

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  • DUMP HIM.

    "You love me don't you" NO NO NONONONONONONONO

    He is *manipulating* you and that means he does not respect you. This is not a good situation and a HUGE red flag.

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  • Don't let him pressure you into anything. I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 3 years and were both still virgins. Definitely don't if you're not comfortable and don't let his "you love me don't you?" Get to you because if he loves you then he'll wait until you're ready for it. Guys can be really convincing but until you talk about it and have sufficient forms of birth control (condoms or the pill or the plan B pill) don't give in. My mom put it in a way that really helped me. If you wouldn't tell her that you lost it then you aren't ready to lose it yet. It can be tricky especially with all the teenage hormones but saving it until you're 100% sure will be worth it. I'm sorry if this is confusing it's basically just me rambling.

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  • Don't do it girl. DON'T DO IT!

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  • 14 seems a bit young anyway.

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  • He might just be jealous of his friends that are having sex. Don't just fuck to please him.

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  • If you are not ready don't let him have sex with you! NEVER.

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