How to respond to a girl flaking on a date?

Question

I don't understand why these girls act like they're intrested asking me questions, flirting and telling me they want to meet up only to end up flaking. they usually come up with a valid excuse say they wanted to meet up lets reschedule so I give them the benefit of the doubt. I feel frustrated but I think if I tell them off or give them the silent treatment that's just showing them they got the best of my emotions.
that I'm more invested in them and calling her a bitch really won't accomplish anything. so I tell them it's ok we can meet up at xdate instead they agree but the same shit ends up happening. what am I doing wrong I get that life happens but if they liked me wouldn't they make more of an effort to meet?

lucasnabizada · Accepted Answer

Act with principles to begin with... Like I always say even if it may sound stupid... Act like you are doing business and you have ethics... Write texts like a professional. And most of all be honest
ex: "We set up a date, and I can understand if you had an impeachment but if you are not ready to be upfront about what we do just know I am not the kind of person who commits with someone who is disgenuine about what they want, so if you don't want to meet you could tell me because it is wasting my time. I just need a yes or a no."
Keep in mind that if a girl likes you, she will make time for you alright... There is no excuse, and rightfully it's just like you would make time for her. If there was a hot chick you like and she wanted to set up a date you would accept to meet her and you best believe you would FREACKING be there regardless of outside factors. There's always a way... I don't see why the opposite shouldn't be true.. And if she believes that then she's a waste of time. I personally take education and principle importantly. Girl who tease you are just a wast of time and you better not get involved with them in the first place... For more please check out my mytake "Girls who are just teases and how to spot them" www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a33936-girls-who-are-just-teases-5-tips-on-how-to-spot-them

coachTanthony · Accepted Answer

Dude... why not just say.. hey I am going to be at (said place) on Thursday night.. you should come hang out... would love to see you there. Then be done with it.. don't have so many expectations of them saying YES or NO... You are putting too much pressure on them... let them know its no big deal and they will come.

btbc92 · Accepted Answer

Did you say to them that it's a date, or just hanging out? What are her intentions for doing all of that stuff to you? That is what you need to figure out and ask her before you even think about letting her go. Don't be a jerk and ghost her. And don't be nasty by cursing her. Regardless, Be respectful or you'll give her a reason to never date you. Or maybe she is unsure if your worth giving a shot in getting to know romantically and is nervioud or conflicted, besides an emergency. Either way, set your boundaries and be prepared to find somebody else.

infinitize · Accepted Answer

There are so many variables and I'm pretty sure each girl was/is different.
Some might genuinely had to cancel and had nothing to do with not being interested enough or not valuing the opportunity to get to know you
and decided that your reaction to her cancelling sounded like you didn't care much about wanting to make the effort and reschedule to make it happen.

some others might've met better options - could be them being more attractive, but it also could be them being more interested and available to her.

TacosRAwesome · Accepted Answer

If its once let her reschedule. If its constant, cut her off. Honestly I had a friend like that who cancelled plans a number of times so I don't talk to her anymore.

Peskyn3gr0 · Answer

It might be a valid reason, but if they come up with an excuse just say "Alright, well... if you ever want to go together just hit me up" Don't flip out, it sucks, I've dealt with it many times but honestly, you shouldn't chase some girl who is going to be like that, you deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you, not some flake.

frozenhorizon · Answer

If you want to ruin your chances with her but you're feeling down and need to make yourself feel better, then call her out on it and tell her it's lame.

I think the best option is "act like it's ok but let her reschedule" - I accidentally voted for the wrong thing but this one is best. Just put the same amount of effort in that she is putting in. Since she flaked it's her turn to put in some effort to fix it, and if she doesn't then you shouldn't. But "reward" her if she does by showing up and trying to have a good time with her.

torken · Answer

Put the ball in their court. If the interest was genuine, they'll plan something to make up for flaking. Could be she's not interested. Either way, it takes the stress off you

ThatOneGuy007 · Answer

I hate flakes. However, if I like the girl enough, I use the "three strike" rule. Sometimes life really does get hectic, and I try to accommodate it.

Flakes on me once, and if she has a reasonable excuse, no big deal. Stuff happens, and we can reschedule.

Flakes on me twice, we reschedule on MY terms.

Flakes on me a third time, I call her out, and she's gone.

zagor · Answer

Sometimes things come up and you have to change plans. If she has a legit reason she can't make it, just reschedule. I've had to do that with girls, and they were OK with changing dates.

SimplySuperb · Answer

If they cancel and let me know ahead of time that something more important popped up, I get it, and I'm down with having us reschedule the date. If she flakes and doesn't let me know before hand, I'll be pissed, so she better tell me why she didn't show up, and reschedule the date again or I'm cutting it off.

ProjectBaby1K · Answer

Someone wastes your time and you're willing to just let it? Man... The amount of shit nutless guys tolerate from bitches is amazing to me.

Here's the best advice you can follow: Cut her off. No explanation. Just cut her off and move on to someone that respects you enough to value your time.

Deadfish · Answer

Ask them straight forward for their repeated excuses

You can't be a time pass for someone...
If the girl is a nice person then just be her friend and see what happens further
She might give more importance to u in future

mrschelc · Answer

Don't even waste your breath because really it won't change anything. Honestly in that situation you can't do much but move on or let HER show YOU she's interested.

LesterJester · Answer

Twice in a row? I'd move on. I wouldn't have time for that crap. If I did that twice in a row, the girl would never talk to me again.

Anonymous · Answer

Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, she has to be a bitch!! Forget her. delete her from your phone, and don't bother. She wouldn't care anyway, if you called her out. just ignore the whore, and find a better one

WalterRadio · Answer

Some women are flakes. What you do is never, ever give them a second chance.

Russduck · Answer

Your time is precious. If they stand you up, move on. There is someone out there that will never stand you up! Don't put up with disrespect.

Omega_brie · Answer

If she flakes, she doesn't like you, so stop talking to her.

Marinepilot · Answer

Call her out, read her the riot act and humiliate the shit out of her.

cooper1dog · Answer

Don't ask again after explaining why.

Bassmate · Answer

Kick her to the curb

Anonymous · Answer

It's over

How to respond to a girl flaking on a date?

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