Why do men act so jealous?

Not saying women don't, but, really, it's a little off-putting. Girls get like that too, but I've noticed guys get possessive over small things and start getting on edge if you so much as talk to another guy. What's the deal? It's not like I'm sleeping with him or something...

 

What's Your Opinion?

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What Girls Said 7

What Guys Said 16

  • Only the immature guys get like that. Tell him to go away and not to come back till he's grown up...

  • Jealousy stems from insecurity. And jealousy is just one indicator that he isn't confident with himself. When someone gets possessive and aggressive, that's overstepping a boundary and unhealthy. I wouldn't take that kind of behavior.

    • Probably just some bitter males flaming every girl who agrees with me.

    • LOL. I wish people would say WHY they disagree, instead of just down rating. But oh well. :)

    • Who down-rated her? WTF.

  • Obviously jealousy is not limited to just men.


    Jealousy is a tricky thing. We see or hear about something that causes a horrible emotional reaction inside of us. Generally that emotion stems from fear, anger, and insecurity and it's often overwhelming and difficult to control.


    in my opinion, there are two kinds of jealousy: rational and irrational jealousy.


    I think rational jealousy is okay. It tells us that there's actually something wrong occurring---your partner is actually neglecting your needs or your relationship. If your jealousy is for rational reasons, then its something you need to talk about and work out with your partner.


    Irrational jealousy is when you get these feelings, but they aren't really warranted. Like your partner is talking to another person, or another person hits on him/her but he/she politely declines their advances. If none of your partner's actions suggest that he/she's going to cheat or is neglecting your relationship, then it's usually just you projecting your own feelings of insecurity on your partner.


    People have some weird ideas about jealousy. People think that its okay to be jealous and that its expected, and if someone isn't jealous, it means that they don't care about their partner. In reality, lack of jealousy generally means that you TRUST your partner. In my opinion, jealousy is a sign of insecurity and mistrust, and NOT a sign of love.


    I think that the difference in jealousy between men and women is that men have the additional pressure to be dominant, territorial, and to "be a man". They see another man talking to their girl as undermining their manliness, and perhaps, since they "know how guys think" assume that he has shady intentions concerning his girl. This is probably compounded by comments that his guy friends may make if they see his girl talking to another guy. He doesn't want his friends to think that he's getting "played" or that his girl has "wandering eyes" because he doesn't satisfy her.


    Girls experience this too, however. Many feel the need to be territorial of their man, feel mistrustful of other girls, and don't want other people to think that she doesn't satisfy him; also, I think girls feel the need to protect their guy's reputation amongst their friends---they don't want their girl friends to see him talking to another girl and assume he's an asshole who doesn't care about her.

  • it's human nature

  • Now I HATE when guys get too carried away but when they get like all offensive but they are just playin its a turn ON but when they get serious its a turn off… its kinda like a dog with its bone the dog feels its his because he had it first and doesn't want anyone to touch it and or bite it if you don't get what I mean he likes being the alpha male and thinks you are his and only HIS!

    • Your welcome and men (most) are like that

    • I liked that comparison. I guess I do get it..a little. Thanks for your answer :P

  • Alejandro, being a sociopath may be pretty cool for a 16yo, but after you've seen the inside of a jail cell a few times perhaps you'll think that one through again.

  • Controlling guys are usually the jealous type. They focus in on small details and try to make them more important than the are. They also have that aggressive approach to everything that should set off some alarms in your head. I am most suspicious of that type of guy and I say that not out of cynicism but genuine concern for the girls that get involved with them.

    • I concur with this answer to the question. This is the only likelihood that can really be drawn from the information given. It's one thing to be jealous; everyone is occasionally jealous. It's entirely another thing to make a a big, important deal out of jealousy. As for "wearing the pants," et cetera? That kind of control is disgusting. I am a confident guy, and I will be G*d d***ed if I need to ACT controlling, coercively dominate, or actively jealous to prove that I am in control.

    • I agree. Guys need confidence but not to the point where it gets to their head and they feel they need to be in control of every aspect of a girl's life. Really, come on now. How would you feel if your girl got so possessive she didn't even allow you to speak to anyone of the opposite sex without throwing a fit?

    • Thanx helpingjesse. That's exactly what I meant

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  • Selected as most helpful

    Jealousy, possession, territorial. It all roots from the same thing. It's not this insecurity bullsh*t, or what have you. We don't like anyone else even remotely getting close to what's ours. Why? Because we're guys. And most of us know what guys are capable of. Even though majority of you women decide to play a completely annoying naive role at times when you're not THAT stupid about the situation. You want to be happy? Keep him happy. Then you're both happy. Because otherwise it will only develop to petty bickering.

  • hey its as simple as that ...If a Boy goes aroung offering his dik ...chances are he ll get his ass beaten up ..and on the other hand if a girl starts putting out ,there ll be 100 guys throwing themselves on her ..thing is ,getting attention is easy for gals ...so ,when a man senses that his woman is sending even the slightest of the signals , his alarm goes off ..

  • It's still the pattern that guys are paying for women's company, so they tend to want it exclusively...women aren't investing, directly, in a guy in the same way.

    • generally it's still men that are paying for dates, no? Not women? So men think they're entitled to some extent to be exclusive.

    • what do you mean? how do men invest in a girl in a way that is different or "more"..?

  • You wanna know why men get jealous? Ask yourself the same question about women.


    I had a girlfriend who used to flip out if a girl evenso much as looked in my general direction. A girlfriend who would accuse me of cheating on her with people who I JUST MET! I once even dated a girl who flipped out at me over a dream she had. She had a dream that she caught me having anal sex with a girl who sounds like nobody I even knew. Seriously women make up half the population of humans on the planet, why the hell can't most the girls I date stop flipping out on me over the most retarded of things?


    You wanna know why men get jealous and posessive? Tell me something. Why do women get jealous and posessive? Chances are, it's the same sh!t.


    Now after your 24 hr question feature is run out from this site, kindly stop posting sexist sh*t talking like men are the only offenders. Sure you start off saying women do it too but you just continue to push past that and act like men are worst, if not only offenders. So kindly go go to hell lady.


    Adios.

    • So what IS the "other side"? Enlighten me. What leads you to act this way, since you're a male.

    • If you are going by your personal experience, you aren't stating facts, are you? What leads you to believe that men are generally more jealous of things than women? Of couse you two would say that, because you are women and you date men, right? You don't really see it from the other side. But if you come up with real evidence, I guess you would have us beat.

    • I'm sorry, but I had to laugh at this. Yeah, girls like that exist but really now. This behavior is more common in guys. Not sexist at all, just a stating a fact. From MY personal experience.

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  • Yeah most guys will get jealous and no it's not always an insecurity thing either. I think we have that "reptile" part of the brain that still is with us even after 10000 years of advances. We are territorial and want to protect and keep what is "ours" (not saying women are our possessions more like the relationship belongs to us and who is this other guy trying to mess with it). Guys also like to be in control, which is something most women also want at least more often than not.

    I always felt that some jealousy is a good thing for both sexes, I've joked with my girl before that if she wouldn't get jealous it would mean she didn't care. The same I think is true for me. I think it only should become an issue when it leads to someone becoming too controlling or it crosses over to being insecure to the point where if a guy asks you for the time it leads to a full on fight.


    other than that what can I say? us guys might play it cool and collected but we can have our hot mess moments just like you women :D

  • Men typically like to feel that they can't be replaced (hence getting on you when talking to another guy), and also want to be in control.


    One way to look at it:

    "He's on his Man-period."

    • Man Period LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL. sorry ... agreed though :)

  • The main aim of all male species is to populate his genes all over. He likes to mate with as many women as he can, and spread his seed. When the girl/ woman he likes is close to some other male, he naturally feels threatened. After food, sex is made the second most sought after for all species, to inculcate this urge to spread he's genes. The urge is a must for survival of that specie.

    • i hate no clue why your getting thumbs down...its funny how people will deny the truth if it conflicts with how they want to see things.


      ill thumbs you up for telling the basic truth.

  • because soon or later he's gonna make a move all lads have done it . so we no what's gonna happen next lads

  • ya...we get insanly jelous...and besides you don't our friends make a big deal out of it, for EX:"damn bruh that dude's takin your chick you just got swagga jacked"



    and you look over and it looks like their flirting well no sh*t your going to act extremely jelous

  • Because were men...and we know how other men think. Sooner or later the he may try to make a move on our girl or take advantage of her. Moreover, every person whether man or woman is going to get jealous if their significant other is spending more time with a friend of the opposite sex, than they are with you.

  • First, I would like to say that some guys are jealous and some are NOT. The same for Girls some of them are very jealous and other are NOT too.


    The point here is that small things like you said get your guy Jealous and this is a problem, that he care so much about you and that's why he don't want anyone to talk to you or even to know you. you have to talk to him directly in a very respectful way and try to tell him that what he is doing is pissing you off but you do care about him. in addition to, you have to appreciate him from time to time.


    Guys think like this: " BEING WITH YOU IS NOT ENOUGH?", this is what jealous people will think :D and they want to own you.


    My advice to you is to talk to him frankly and ask him having friends is normal, and if he have friends (Girls I mean) you have to ask him that we have to be EQUAL. what you can do, I can, just don't be mean and trust me that I could handle my limits with my friends(Guys).


    i hope my answer helped you.

  • How would you feel If I started talking up other girls in front you while being in a relationship with you? Exactly.

    • Maybe you're just overly paranoid because most of the time that isn't the case.

    • The issue is when you start to seem less important than the friends.

    • I wouldn't mind because being in a relationship with me doesn't mean you can't have friends.

  • Well, not all of us are that way. I think a lot of guys show their insecurity when it comes to girls. I've seen a lot of stupid behavior over this. And usually it's over nothing such as a "hello" or something. Another thing I've noticed is that the lower functioning guys tend to be the most severely jealous. The girls who are attracted to them are even worse. They need their worth verified by their boyfriend acting like a jerk. Sometimes I think that the few of us who are single by choice are the smart ones!

  • Why, why? I'll tell you why. It's because a guy has to go throw hell and back to flirt, build rapport, bond, and finally have a girl as his girlfriend. You're his achievement, his most proud accomplishment. So, when some asshole prick tries to take you away from him over nothing, just a little smooth sweet-talking, he's going to get mad, and he's going to be jealous.

  • Lol if a guy flirts with my girl ill kick his ass, in the most creative enviromentale way =p like jabbing a guy with a spork in school XD

  • Well what...a little jealousy is healthy in every relationship and proves that he still cares. If he wasn't jealous then you'd have to question how much he really liked you.

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