How to respond to canceled blind date?

I had a blind date that was supposed to happen this weekend, set up by a mutual friend. The day before the date, our mutual friend messaged me to tell me that the girl "probably wasn't down for the blind date anymore" and got "cold feet".

Talking to a different set of friends about the situation, they advised me to contact her and say something to the effect of, "Hi, I'm [insert mutual friend's name here] friend - sorry we didn't get a chance to meet this weekend, but..." and leave some kind of open invitation to her.

In a way I can see their rationale, but my instinct was to just leave the situation alone and move on, since the girl canceled on rather short notice and didn't seem to make the date a priority. (And why should I chase someone who didn't want to meet me?)


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Most Helpful Girl

  • yeah, get to know her first before seeing if you guys can try again

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What Girls Said 2

  • Blind dates can be terrifying! I think you're reading too much into the situation. She was probably just real nervous, give her a quick message and see what happens! Life is about taking risks. What's the worst that happens? She says no again? After that then just move on! At least you tried it!

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  • Don't contact her. You'll just come off as desperate. And sending that message won't tell her anything more about you that might potentially change her mind.

    If she doesn't want to meet you, it's her loss and she should've never agreed to it in the first place just to appease her friends.

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    • Yeah, those were my thoughts too.

    • Thought so. Better luck next time!

What Guys Said 2

  • No! Don't even try to contact her, you did your part and if she changes her mind she will contact you. And more importantly do not apologize when you didn't do anything wrong in the first place(or you did and you didn't mention it)..it will also make you look weak which is really not the message you want to transmit. Id advice you to move on and find someone really worth your time and effort.

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    • one of the reason why I asked not to contact her is because youve been setup by a "mutual friend" chances are this friend showed a picture of you to her and gave her some sort of a description about you.There's not much you can do if this was the case.

    • Yeah if that's the case, there's really not more to be done.

  • There is something to be said for the fact that chasing an unwilling girl is never the right thing to do. But she may have just got very nervous, since Blind Dates are still something of a stigma for some people.

    You could help her get over the "Blind" part, and send her a pic of yourself with a message which simply says something like "Hi, I'm 'name', friend of 'name' who tried to set us up. I happen to think he's a good judge of character, so even though you got cold feet, I'd still be interested in meeting you just to see if there's anything there." I don't think it comes across as desperate, and it it is open ended and leaves it up to her.

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    • It's possible she could just have gotten nervous beforehand (I've been on some particularly disastrous blind dates myself, so I can understand some hesitation on her part.) As far as the other suggestion, I'm not sure that I agree, but I respect your opinion and thank you for taking the time to put your $0.02 in to my question.

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