How to politely turn down a second date?

i went out on a date with a guy about a week ago, and I didn't think it went that well. he picked me up and we went out for breakfast. he was fidgeting the whole time and was a little bit weird. we had stuff to talk about but I don't think I want to see him again.

some of the things that make me not want to see him again

- he is super picky about food, and has never even eaten a tomato, and he picked at his pancakes like crazy. was kind of gross to watch him disect them

-he told me he has no friends

-he's covered in tattoos, don't think my parents would go for that if he were ever to meet them

he was a really nice guy, but I just wasn't feeling the chemistry. he has told me he wants to see me again, but I would rather not. how can I say no nicely? I don't want to be mean about it

Updates:
thanks guys, this is what I sent back to him (he asked to see me again over Facebook, so I sent him a fb message back)


"hey, I don't think I can say yes to a second date. I didn't feel like we clicked or had much in common when we went out last week. I had a nice time but I don't see this going any further. I hope you find someone nice soon"
i guess he got my response

went to check it and found out he deleted me off Facebook

i don't really blame him though

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Say, that you had a good time but you don't see the relationship going anywhere & you hope he finds a nice girl someday, which could be the hosent answer, or say your going through a tuff time, or your deeling with a crisis, or you just don't have the time, Good luck, lols

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What Guys Said 11

  • Wow, first time here I've seen someone take advice and use it just right.

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  • DON'T try to say it nicely. Women think it hurts men to be honest, but seriously, making up some bs to make us feel better is more hurtful.

    Just be honest to him, say you don't see things working out between you two.

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  • This is probably one of the most difficult things to do in life other than telling someone they lost a loved one in a horrible crime. Good luck, as I really have no advice on this.

    BTW, you are absolutely marvelous! Had I not been old enough to be your papa, I'd drive to Canada just for you! ;)

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  • take the word "nicely" out of the equation, whether you think your being nice or not the fact that you won't want to go on another date won't seem nice to him so don't try to be "nice" about it.

    Just tell him no! tell him sorry but I don't see this going anywhere, and DON'T add "your a nice guy but..." into your wording. You can say something like.."i appreciate your gesture but I have to say no, I just don't see this going anywhere, sorry"

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  • Honestly just be like "well I just didn't think we clicked the last time and I don't think we have a lot of things in common so I don't think we would work" but really its better to let a guy off quick and straightforward than to make him wonder and keep hoping, trust me.

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    • @update: not a big deal, if he can't take rejection like a man an understand that not everyone is gonna click with him then forget about him, he is obviously only after a hookup anyways

  • You did fine.

    You were very clear it wasn't happening, and that's what's key. If you can be nice AND say 'no chance' that's a plus, but the important thing is to be clear.

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  • How did you end up going on a FIRST date with him? How did you meet?

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    • um, online dating

      i only agreed to meet becase I couldn't think of a reason not too, and he seemed really excited about it

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    • yeah, he contacted me, and we talked for a few days and he seemed nice (was always nice). he seemed pretty normal when we were talking, and so he asked if he could take me out for breakfast, and I couldn't really think of a reason why not to go, so I said yes.

      youre right, we do get a lot (a looot) of messages, but I try to respond to most, unless they're really pervy ones

    • Interesting! So how many messages do you get in say, a week? I'd love to learn more about this from the girl's perspective.

  • Sounds good, :)

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  • Just say NO

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  • Just say No...or tell him he seemed like a nice guy but No Chemistry = No Date...(:

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  • frankly I feel bad for the guy, he has no friends, and now not only is he getting rejected, but you don't even want to see him again. he'll never gain confidence at this rate.

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    • i get what you're saying, but I don't want to lead him on

    • What are you talking about? You can't speak for him.. And she doesn't have to pity date him if she has no chemistry with him. No one should.

What Girls Said 1

  • just say you are busy or have plans with friends

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