It can go both ways. Some guys REALLY want a girlfriend and they'll push for that from pretty early on. Other guys really just want sex or FWB, and will say things like "just looking for some fun" or "I'm not looking for anything serious." Ultimately, most guys make their intentions pretty clear, it's just that girls are often reluctant or unwilling to accept what the guy is saying. Girls, on the other hand, half the time don't even know what they want, or lie to themselves about what they want, so guys tend to want to know what she's thinking before they take a stand.
I recommend that girls be EXTREMELY up-front about what they are looking for, or what their rules about sex are. Meaning, if you only want a serious relationship, he should know that before you even go on the first date. And if you don't have sex outside of relationships, then he should know that before you even make out. Girls mostly set the rules here, and guys can either agree, ask for concessions, or look elsewhere. the biggest mistake a girl can make is to let things move in the wrong direction and not say anything about it.
And because girls tend to get so emotionally attached so quickly, it's in their best interests to make their requirements known, because if the guy is going to break up with them or otherwise move on, it's much better if he does that at the very beginning, than to put it off until after she's totally hooked on him. Girls make that mistake all the time, and pay dearly for it in many ways.
The guy typically does, but I think what you also meant to ask was who "should" typically initiate the exclusivity or a relationship. The answer to that question would be either one. A girl doesn't have to wait around for the guy to make all the moves. If she's ready to take the next step, what ever that might be, there is no reason she can't be the one put things into motion.
To the second part of the question, exclusivity has usually been implied by our new relationship status (not talking about Facebook). Once we recognize we are BF/GF, its assumed we are exclusive. Usually when I'm asking a girl to be exclusive, aka be my GF, I'll simply just bring attention to the fact that things are going well between us and will ask her about "making things official". To which she will say yes or no, or in one case ask what I mean, in which I will respond with "as in be my GF".
i don't think there's any way in hell I'd bring up exclusivity. I've gotten shot down and hurt really badly by telling guys I had feelings for them, (not necessarily asking for relationship, just telling them I had a crush on them) and it happened with every single guy. I still have no problem showing affection and interest or initiating stuff, but the guy's gonna have to be the one to put a ring on it when the time comes.
The best way to go about it is to be up front from the beginning. When you're dating to say you're not looking for something casual and you aren't intimate with men unless you're exclusive. That way you're inviting HIM not convincing him or forcing him. If he's just interested in sex he'll back off. If he likes you, he'll keep pursuing you and have "the talk" just don't ever initiate that conversation. Men are hunters.
My boyfriend asked me if I considered him my boyfriend and if it was OK for him to tell people that I was a girlfriend. It was really sweet.
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I brought it up in my current relationship, but I do know that guys tend to initiate it more.
My current boyfriend was happy being unofficial and then I asked if he ever thought of us just being official, and he was like, "Nah, I like it how it is. We know what we mean to each other, why label it?"
I then pulled a bit of a bitch move (I admit it) and started talking to this other guy (just talking, mind you) and happened to mention it to my boyfriend (before we were official, remember) and he freaked out. I then played stupid and innocent and was like, "Well if we're not officially together, I don't see anything wrong with what I did."
We were official after that. :)
Is this a joke? It's the guy. Almost always. Guys are the ones who initiate the entire freaking relationship. Even science will back me up on that one.
while guys are the ones to do it, you do have to consider this to be a lot in part due to most "dating advice" speculating that the girl should not bring the topic up unless she's ready to pull an ultimatum, so most women tend to avoid that topic in hopes of stringing a relationship along. (sorry ladies... just broke out our dirty little secret... ). Men tend to run away when a woman brings up this conversation too soon, so most of the time they keep quiet.
I think its a mutual discussion, from what I see with friends.
When I was single, FWB was extremely rare. There were one night stands, or there was boyfriend/girlfriend sex. So if you started hanging out and fooling around on an ongoing basis, you were just a couple and that was it.
I'm lead to believe it still works this way in some parts of the world, just not so much in north America.
the guy does - ALWAYS! if woman do it could back fire on them - let HIM do it he IS the man! that usually works BEST!
I honestly think it's natural for a guy to initiate having the exclusivity conversation. Simply because I think it's a natural instinct for a guy to want to "claim his girl" so to speak. I know that sounds primitive, but I honestly think it's a natural instinct. It's like marking his territory, meaning he'd be willing to fight if another male tried to move in and take his mate.
Of course it's the guy! Afterall, you don't see girls proposing to their man for marriage, therefore, it's often the guy that initiates the exclusivity. It just seems like the natural way to go
I usually leave it to the guy, just because I am afraid of making him feel like I am pushing him before he is ready.
i've never brought it up actually.
last time I was gonna have a FWB, she said she wanted to be my only one.
so, the girl.
i say more often...the guy initiates it, because buy these "gender roles", the guy is usually expected to initiate every step of the relationship.
In my experience, exclusivity has always been a mutual agreement.
this similar to the ? I asked except I want to know when. I would think Guys because girls never want to seem to pushy on that subject
From my experience it's the guy. They always ask "Are you talking to any other guys?" then say they don't like it if I am.
I said the guy (me) usually initiates it when I ask I rarely get dates when girls ask me I usually get a date. so in my experience girls tend to have more success when they ask than guys.
I voted "A" because, if a guy really likes a female, does he not want her all to himself..usually?
I think its the girl because when we like someone we tend to want to know if it will go anywhere. Whereas I think men will only bring up the topic if they want you to be with them and only them.
I would think the guy would initiate it. But times have changed,so..
i would have thought the girl because we like knowing 'where this relationship is going'
first boyfriend - he initiated it
same with the 2nd - 4th
the guy since almost all girls expect the guy to do the approaching, starting conversations, asking out
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