He complains because I don't text him first?

Hi... so, there's this guy who's a player. We talk every now and then but most of the time he's the one who talks first. We've also hooked up before. So today he texts me only to say that I never write to him first and that he's the one who always has to initiate our conversations. What's that about?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • He's a player. He's complaining that he always has to text you first because he wants you to text him first. he wants to know he's on your mind more. it's a power thing for people like that. if you aren't texting much then in his eyes, you aren't that interested. he wants to know he has you in the palm of his hand. So don't listen to his complaints and continue letting him initiate everything. he wants to have all the power. he's a player so he doesn't need that lol

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What Guys Said 2



  • Normally that kind of complaint is from someone who feels the other isn't putting enough effort into the relationship.

    Of course, if you say he is a player... well... I don't know then.

    I would imagine a player wouldn't care about having to ring for booty call as long as he got it. The complaint seems out of character.

    The only hitch I could think of is maybe he is just using texting as an example: perhaps throughout the entirety of the relationship you just make him work for it more than he wants to.

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    • So if he doesn't want to work for it then why does he continue to contact me? We haven't hooked up since last November or kissed or anything for that matter. What should I do?

    • I think that will soon change (continuing to contact you).

      I can't advise you because you never actually stated your general intent. If you want to play the player then start cheating (strongly not recommended for anyone, but it would meet that goal). If you want a friendship, then make yourself friendly and call him more. If you're passed the point of caring, leave him. If you want to create nuclear weapons, get a uranium enrichment process going (easier said than done).

  • Well, if I was talking to a girl and I always had to message her first, eventually I'd bring it up to her just like he did. If she still never contacts me first, I'd assume she's not interested and move on.

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What Girls Said 3

  • If he's really a player it's just an ego thing, it hurts his ego that you're not tripping behind him blowing up his phone. He probably does what you do as a game to other girls but it bothers him you're not falling for him. And as soon as you DO start texting first hell pull away.

    For instance I was talking to this guy (got tired of his games do I stopped) but whenever I wouldn't text him or would get busy he'd start texting me, then when I'd respond and show the same interest back he'd disappear for days, expecting me to chase him, then come back when I didn't.

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  • Ok he showed his interest, why don't you do the same :) ? Guys are like us, they need to now that you like him, and texting first is a sing that you are thinking of him and that you miss him :) If you are not sure about your feelings, what can I say? You should make up your mind, but if you DO like him, why don't you text first? I don't think that what he said should annoy you, conversely, it should flattered you! It means that he needs to know that you are interested because he IS interested in you :)

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  • He's trying to make you look for him, if he is a player keep letting him do it don't sweat about it.

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