Why does my boyfriend spend more time with his best friend rather than me?

For example he will invite his friend to stay over for a week. and I will come over and he acts like he doesn't want me there. he will make up excuses for me to leave, like I haven't hung out with my dad in awhile. I will stay the night but he doesn't want me to stay the whole day with him. but his friend is always over there. I don't understand why he doesn't want to hang out with me. its like he only invites me over just to have sex. we will hang out but not for very long. he tells me he loves me but its seems as if he gets annoyed by me when we hang out.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Sounds to me like he only wants you when he's horny. Otherwise, he wants you to get lost until he's ready to get some. Not trying to be harsh but it sounds like a FWB relationship just where you have the title of his girlfriend.

    It's normal for guys to want time away from their girlfriends where they can hang out with their own friends and just be a guy. It's not normal for him to be happy to have you over all night for sex just to try to make up reasons to get rid of you in the morning. Sounds like he doesn't want you around for more than just the sex. As long as you keep quiet about the arrangement, he'll keep up the behavior. If you don't like it (as you obviously don't), speak up.

    Before launching into a conversation about it with him try this:

    1: Do not contact him. No calls/texts/showing up at his place etc. See how long it takes for him to come looking for you. If it takes him too long, that will give you an idea of how much he's thinking of you.

    2: When you do spend time together, DO NOT have sex.

    3: Don't be willing to just spend time at his place. Make him take you out. Not to just spend up his money but make him actually put forth some effort.

    4: Start spending time with other people instead of him. Make plans with friends/family and DO NOT cancel them should he decide at the last second he wants to see you.

    Essentially: demand in a non-verbal way that he must put forth the effort. If he's not willing to do it, dump him as he's not worth it. If he's just in there for the sex, he'll think you're too difficult and dump you.

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      This is the best response.