My mother let my little sister spank my bullying brother. Do you find this punishment inappropriate?

[Anonymous]

My brother is 14 and is a bully at school and with our little sister (she's 10). My mother is really upset and some months ago decided to start spanking him again like when he was younger, this time using a belt to be more effective. Last time he bullied my sister and she asked to spank him by herself. He objected and complained but my mother agreed because she said humiliation is a good way to correct him, so forced my brother to bend over the sofa and while holding him down let my sister spank him. She hit him with the belt really hard (I didn't expect so much strength) and my mother had to stop her after a while because it was too painful and my brother yelled and almost cried and now he almost can't stay seated.
I find this punishment really inappropriate, but talking with my friends everyone seems to agree with my mother because it's a good way to change his behaviour (in fact at the moment he's behaving really well). What do you think?

[alexin]

Probably i’m going against the tide, but i think your mom did the right thing. You can’t change a bully just having a talk with him or removing his privilegies: he’ll look at the punishment as a challene (you can do what you want but i’m not changing). A bully is very proud of himself so you have to destroy his pride humiliating him. Now getting spanked by his little sister he used to bully, groaning and crying because of the pain is really embarrassing and humiliating for him. This time he’s the victim and feels how terrible it is, he’ll do everything to avoid this humiliation in the future, so it’s a good motivation to change his behaviour. And also for the little sister is good, now she won’t be scared of him because she knows she can make him cry if he bullies her again.

[Devourtheuniverse]

I agree. A boy who bullies girls deserves this punishment at the least.

[Mattkruz]

@Devourtheuniverse tbh I’m the other way around but I’m weaker than my older younger and twin sisters one time my younger sister Ellen spanked me bare bottom with a spatula until I was crying I couldn’t sit down for weeks it hurt so bad we’re only a year apart I’m 19 she’s 18 but she’s taller

[Vesuvius87]

To be honest, if she had to spank him when he was younger and is bully at school then something is not working at home. All hitting does is increase bullying behaviors.
Have you try talking to her about other alternatives such as removing privileges from him or removing his Internet usuages and him only having limited access to school assignments only?

[Anonymous]

Hmm, this is interesting. I usually think it's terrible that adults hit kids, but a 10 year old hitting an older sibling? That's actually pretty funny. I think it's terrible your MOM hit him, but if I were in the little sister's place, I'd have liked to hit him too. You might want to consider telling your mom not to use a belt anymore though.

[Mattkruz]

It sucks I have a ton of sisters and cousins and one time my twin sister Zoe and my older sister Sam spanked me bare bottom in the middle of the school hallway with a cane I was crying you have no idea how much that hurts

[Neondragon]

It might foster distrust in your brothers heart towards your mother. a mother is trusted by their children as completely loving. any other kind of violence would have been forgotten sooner. but spanking? . forgive my presumption. but it will look sexual harrasment. its basically saying your younger sister is lower than you but its because its a girl doing it your ruined sexually by some third person and that your mom won't care about it. three women ganging up on a 14 year old boy and spanking him with a belt until he cries. seems like a scene from some weirdos femdom p*rn scene fantasy. only a mother is allowed to spank her children not someone else.

[BubaHuru]

Really no one should, but this is exceptionally twisted

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

Well, spanking doesn't get a child no where and really makes things worse
your mom is best to get him counseling, have someone talk to you like police officer
i know a woman who had a kid who wouldn't listen she took him to the police and
that's the only thing that helped him but spanking is not the answer to the problem.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

So your mom uses violence to try to convince your brother not to be violent? A little ironic, eh?

[IronSword]

Your mother has shifted the hierarchical power balance of the family indefinitely and she can throw away any hope of wanting a meaningful parental and child relationship with her bully son. There is a reason kids become bullies and most of the time that reason lies at home, the way that this was dealt with as described by this post shows that the reason most likely lied at home. Has the little sister ever been spanked, if not the bully brother probably believes that he is unloved as he used to be and still is punished a lot harsher. Spanking is never a solution, it's like brushing the rubbish under the carpet where it is not visible, it is still there and one day he will either look for vengance or cut all ties with his mother as soon as legally possible.

[Mattkruz]

Tbh it sucks but I’ve been spanked bare bottom with a belt by all of my sisters at once it hurts so bad I was literally crying I’m not even a bully they just do it as enjoyment to make me miserable in the house

[greycadillacs]

Studies show that changing behavior through positive reinforcement works miles and miles better than through negative reinforcement. He's learning to not misbehave for fear of the pain. Instead he should learn to act like a good person and learn that good behavior begets rewards.

[Mesonfielde]

This. Although I'm surprised they had to analyze this through scientific studies, considering it's kinda obvious.

[jacquesvol]

Spanking is violence.
Educating children by spanking learns them violence is an accepted way to reach an aim.

[abzence]

That sounds like a really loving and nurturing family. Or maybe not.
It's clearly insanity.

[Keyspirits]

Lol @ all these opinions seriously? U rather not spank him and teach him a lesson about not doing it again? Sumtimes word isn't enough to scare him so u need actions. Whip dat mudda effort so he knows not to do it next time cuz if he does, he will definitely feel extreme pain baby ;3

[Vesuvius87]

Don't agree. The fact that he has already been spanked in the past and is right now a bully... doesn't that tells you something? I fail to see how does hitting a teen with a belt (yes, that's hitting to me) gets them to learn that hitting is not ok? That seems so ironic and a twisted way of teaching you not to do something but the person that's supposely ''teaching you'' is not only hitting you but humiliating you.

[Vesuvius87]

More than likely he's going to bully someone else at school behind this mother and sister's back.

[Keyspirits]

@Vesuvius87 look, I've been spank all ma life as a kid and have it even worse. Been spank with belts, fly swatter, sticks, broom stick and what not. That definitely teaches me sum real good lessons to behave more. The reason why i dont have bad behaviour as before is cuz i dont wanna get ma ass spank so i behave in a good manner. Getting spank is definitely a way to get ur act together. Lecturing isn't enough to scare him of not doing it again. I always do it again if ma parents juz lecture thats why they whoop ma azz and i stop doing it cuz that scares me. The pain that they inflict on me.. so i stop behaving badly cuz i dont wanna get ma ass spank. U get it?

[Vesuvius87]

Basically you're just scared of getting hit otherwise but deep inside you do want to do it again elsewhere, just not get caught. That would be enough to tell me you haven't actually learned at all nor actually feel guilty due to your own conscious; you're just obeying out of fear not because you feel it yourself it's wrong and know why besides getting hit.

[Vesuvius87]

For instance I'll give you an example: I've lied to my father long ago about failing 3-4 classes in college. Had I told him, he would have stopped paying for my education. Now I'm studying a different major but yes till this day do still feel guilty about it and it has nothing to do with getting hit. I feel bad I did that because lying and esp to your parents and on something important is wrong.

[Vesuvius87]

Off course this time I'm paying it myself but when I finish this major, do plan on returning to the previous one, pay it myself as well too and finish it.

[Keyspirits]

@Vesuvius87 Thats why spanking teach u a life long lessons of not doing it again. U will get use to the behavior that u have been spanking for. And no i dont feel guilty at all. What they do is right cuz i deserve to get ma azz soank for the horrible things i have commited. If ma dad wasn't their to spank ma azz and let meh running lose, i wouldve gone wild out there. For example if u dont have anyone like a father to keep u in chk and its juz ur mum taken care of her son, he won't be scare of his mum cuz he know his mum can't do shiat right? Thats why we have a father to keep us in chk. Words isn't enough to teach sumone a lesson but action does. See why criminals go to jail instead of being lectured? Jail is their punishment so they'll be afraid of going to jail again so they won't commit another crime cuz jail is a horrible place to be in. Lecture isn't enough to keep those criminals in chk but action does ;3

[Vesuvius87]

Well being charged for a crime you commit and jail is a natural consequence (just like getting fired for coming late all the time to work or talking back to your manager). Getting hit isn't. Another factor to come to mind, don't you think there are kids that actually are of a mild, docile temper that can deal with in another way? What about the shy, quiet kids that can easily get scared of a slightly raised voice? After all not every child will be just like you.

[Vesuvius87]

going to

[Vesuvius87]

And exactly you don't feel guilt at all; that was my point; you haven't actually really learned and it's all about just obeying out of fear (respect isn't the same as fear). I do feel guilt about lying to my father and as mentioned, do plan on making up for it.

[Keyspirits]

The shy and quiet kids be causing trouble really? LOL! I dont think someone who is shy have the guts to put themself out there.-.
Yas kids under the 5yrs of age shouldn't be whoop with objects but juz gentle hit to scold them but kids above the age of 6 is different. They can take hits and they should get teach sum lessons by spanking them so they won't do it again. If they are not scare, they will continue to commit such horrible act am i correct? Since there's no one to keep him in chk so he will continue on his bad behavior. If ur not scared of anything, u will continue ur relentless behavior. Simple as that. Getting yo azz spank will put u in chk for good ;3

[Keyspirits]

@Vesuvius87 u just dont get it do u? I said dat with time, u will get use to the behavior that ur parent is spanking u for. It is both outta fear and and obedience. That fear is what makes u become obedient. What would u do to ur son if ur lectures doesn't work on him? What else will u refer to? I dont think lying has anything to do with this. I feel guilty too if i did lie to my parents but this isn't the same as lying. Its a whole different story if u ask. And why do u think i haven't learned? I learned it from my parents by spanking ma azz. Even without them, ill still live the same respectable lifethe way ma parents taught meh by spanking ma azz cuz i got use to the behavior. Without ma parents spanking ma azz and i have no fear of ma parents spanking ma azz, i wouldve still been oit there running wild but its all thanks to those azz whooping dat i have become a good boi. Believe it or not, don't know if u have experience what i have experience but its true story of ma life.

[HeartsBloodDupre]

My parents have never hit me in my life, and I'm not horrible. I've never done drugs, alcohol, or have ever been sexual with a boy, although I'm a senior in highschool. I don't do dangerous things because of common sense, not because I'm scared of my own family hitting me... I don't agree with you at all. I'm shy when I first meet people, but otherwise I'm totally social and I don't like it when people try impose what they think I should do on me, especially from kids my own age. I never did the things you did because there are just really basic and logical reasons, NOT to do them.

[HeartsBloodDupre]

And LOL, I really doubt that someone who had pink kitty ears in their profile pic was 'running wild' :p

[Keyspirits]

@heartsblooddupre yas sum have commn sense and sum dont. i see kids misbehave all the time cuz their parents doesn't give them sum good azz whoopin'. i agree my dad as well. extreme decipline can make even the baddest person become a good person. my nephews is also like that cuz the are spoil little bratz who doesn't get spank for their behaviors and when they came to our house, they always mess shiat up and i see kids like that everywhere. at that age more more mature than any of them cuz of my father strict decipline. i admit i hate the azz wbooping and the things he has done on me... well thats life u can say. i dont think i wouldn't be the person i am today without the strict decipline from ma father.

[Keyspirits]

I've nvr done any drugs or none of that either. even partying and get drunk and laid.
im a good boi and i want a good gurl like u :3
good gurls are really rare these days :c

[Vesuvius87]

All I know is if I were to have a child and you hit him with a belt or an object because he/she has to learn through fear, I wouldn't hesitate on reporting you. Like I'm going to just stand there and agree to a guy with a limited vocabulary usage and obviously terrible grammar is going to just hit my child and I'm going to be happy about it!

[Keyspirits]

@Vesuvius87 lel do u even have to question ma intelligence mummy? ;P
no i wouldn't spank ma kids either unless he if is stubborn and done sumthing really terrible. they spank us cuzthey luv us and want us to behave instead of misbehaving. they spank us out of luv. i have seen countless times that through lecturing isn't enough to stop them from wha they are doing and i have come to believe my fathers decipline. its usually depend on the individual and how unerstanding u taught him but sumtimes that doesn't work. worse case scenario is to refer to sum azz kickin' babay! ;D

[HeartsBloodDupre]

@KeySpirits If I ever have kids, I would want them to not do dangerous things because they logically understand that it's harmful, not because they're scared... What if they're in a dangerous situation and they don't know how to get out of it because they're so used to being in fear or listening to whoever dominating them? Being in fear isn't good at all when you're dealing with a bully, or a dangerous adult.

I have cousins that act like the kids in your family. My cousins act the way they do because of the situation they're living in, which isn't what I would even remotely call healthy or safe. Even if they acted perfectly, it wouldn't solve anything. I'm not saying acting psycho solves anything, but at least it's honest.

[Keyspirits]

@heartsblooddupre it is not sumthing dangerous that will cost them their life.. its the bad things that they do like bothering ppl, gets in fight, stubborn/argues back a lot etc. those kids really need sum serious decipline cuz talken it ut will juz make it worse and it will go on and on forever. being fear outta obedient is the best possible way when they dont listen to u nicely and kept doinv the same shiat overand ove again right? whatever u say won't get intotheir mind thats why u gottavshow ur dominance by whoopin their azz and make them more obedience. i myself believe that the cruel a person is, the more u can control everything and the mor respect u will have. im talken all from my experinces. got any experinces on this field?

[HeartsBloodDupre]

It was really hard to read what you wrote :p Yeah, I've seen plenty of kids who act that way, and quite a few in my own family, like I said. I'm really surprised you like cruelty and controlling attitudes in people... you don't look like that kind of person. And you proved my point: Kids will submit themselves to dangerous people and situations MORE, if you're cruel to them, because they'll be used to it already.

Anyway, if you honestly think it's pointless to NOT hit or dominate them, then what if you just took away all of the cellphones and electronic stuff? And if their behavior is so terrible, why not just remove them from the house temporarily, or tell them not to visit? My cousins do 90% of their bad behavior via texting and online, and they don't visit my house :p

[Keyspirits]

@heartsblooddupre glad i prove ur point :*
and no.. its not about electronic devices and all that. u dont read my sentences carefully do u. its usuallyvinvolve in crime, thefts, fights, arguments, persistent and stubborn to change their behviors etc. it doesn't involve anything dangerous as risking their life. i dont spank their azz for every lik mistake that they make. if its really sumthing really horrible like i mention up there, than were gonna have problem. i dont hate them for spanking meh while growing up and being yelled at and spank. infact when its done and over, i still luv them the same and with the great decipline that they taughtvmeh. without ma father to keep me in chk, i wouldve become a bad boi with no oneto teach me right from wrong and i admitted that i hate what my arents does to me but at this age, i think it was really well worth it. i wouldn't have this manners if it wasn't for ma azz kickin'.

[HeartsBloodDupre]

LOL, I can barely read your 'sentences' :p Anyway, if they're participating in crime, thefts, and fights, they must be getting there somehow right? So I figured they were texting their friends to meet them in different places, like how my cousins do. So if you stop them from getting there in the 1st place, how would they cause any problems?

[Keyspirits]

@heartsblooddupre how could we stop our kids from doing all that? do u expect them to tell us that they are doing it? i dont think they will ever tell u. i admit i have done that a few times and got ma ass whoop which i fear of doing it again or else ill get ma ass beat again. thats how spanking comeshand to hand when lecturing isn't woeking. u need to give them sum real life lesson u know. the only thing that can really stop them from doing so is make them feel pain.
honestly my religion, my pride and ma father decipline plays an impotant role in my respectable behavior so u can say chivalry is stilling living inside of meh :P

[HeartsBloodDupre]

No, of course they wouldn't tell me. But, if I caught them doing any of that stuff one time, I'd PERMANENTLY get rids of their cellphones/videogames/ipads etc. Make them delete all of their online accounts/only bare minimum computer access, and throw away or donate all of their weird clothes (like my cousins), and force them to just wear jeans and tshirts... If they were in their teens, they'd be old enough to get a part time job, so if they didn't like it, they could save up and move out when they hit 18. If they still found some way to go to other people's houses (like my cousins, that's why they're not allowed over where I live), then I'd lock them out for the night. I realize that sounds dangerous, but it can't be anymore dangerous than the extreme stuff they'd be doing or being miles away from home.

[HeartsBloodDupre]

I guess... I'd leave them no choice but to act like adults, and if they can't or won't then they won't live there anymore (or at least not for a night or two). They'd be totally on their own, just like how adults are supposed to be. I've heard of kids who try to get their parents arrested for no reason, so they might try and complain about it, but I would have evidence of what they did... Not that I would WANT my own kid to be arrested, I'm just saying for only really extreme crazy situations (semi my cousins, which is also why that side of the family is not allowed to visit).

[Keyspirits]

@heartsblooddupre lol we do do grounding stuffs and all that. ma dad teach us real life lesson and to be honest and respectable in every situation. in order to achieve it, we have to be obedience and listen to what he tells us to do. by slanking ur kids, u will have them more obedience to u sk its easier to lecture and teach them verbally from there on out. and i dont think getting dat taken away will stop meh as much as getting ma azz spank. kicking them outta the house seems abit too harsh honestly.. my parents have always mention that to us as well so were afraid of doing things regarging to getting our ass kicked out of the house. but dont kick them outta the house :E
juz spank them out of luv that u want them to behave properly and not misbehave..

[Keyspirits]

i also wanna leave and get outta that house as well cuz of my strict father. i hate getting my ass spanked all the time even for little mistakes. i seriously hated and wanna move out to my cousins house. but at this age, i realize what al the spanking really means but i still hated for sspanking us with little mistakes that we've done. calling the cops is a nono..

[HeartsBloodDupre]

But that's my whole point: I don't WANT my kids to do stuff because it's what they're told to do, I want them to not do bad or dangerous things because they understand how harmful it is. If they can't, then I would take away all of the things they could use to get into dangerous situations and tell them to use their own money. If that didn't work, then I'd totally lock them out the house. I wouldn't threaten anything either; I'd tell them that if you can't act human, you can't live here (for a night or two).

[HeartsBloodDupre]

Also, I don't think kids calling the police is bad, so long as they have their own place to live and transportation... It'd be pointless to get someone arrested, destroy the family dynamics, and not even have a place to live or a job. Otherwise, if my father did that stuff to me I'd be willing to sue him, if I was an adult and had all those things first. You shouldn't do bad things when there can be evidence, child or adult.

[Keyspirits]

@heartsblooddupre lemme tell u sumthing. im so exhuasted explaining the story my life and my experiences. let stick with ur opinion and lemme stick with mine since we grew up differently andis raised differently so we dont really have the same views on this subject. also the right time when u should get ur parents arrest is if one is phyically abusing the other or have committed really terrible crime otherwise there's no point in callen the cops or u may regret ur decision.

[HeartsBloodDupre]

Yes, which is why you should move out first. Anyway, I agree that we won't agree!

[Keyspirits]

@heartsblooddupre lol we keep on coming to a disgreement even if we keep this up. it will never end while saying the same thing over and over again ;P
i have my experiences and my lessons so ill keep that to myself while u keep ur logic. deal baby?

[HeartsBloodDupre]

Nope, we could never date in a million years.

[Keyspirits]

@heartsblooddupre tee hee why would u say that

[HeartsBloodDupre]

--_-- Cute.

[Keyspirits]

@heartsblooddupre u havet even take a chance on so while even started maken assumptions ;P

[Mesonfielde]

I'm pretty sure it's because you advocate violence as a solution to the problem. Never trust people whose primary choice of conflict resolution is violence.

[BertMacklinFBI]

holy fuck I can't read all this. hahaa. someone gimme a TLDR: description.

[Keyspirits]

@Mesonfielde who said i do? have u ever see meh going around GaG flaring up violence or even curse da "L" outta sumone? im sure im not short tempered am i? if i am, i wouldve been berserk in here all along >.>

[Keyspirits]

@BertMacklinFBI yeah juz letting u know were having a HAWT date soon ;P

[HeartsBloodDupre]

You can date him or whoever you want, but NOT me EVER. lol your silliness is cute I guess.

[Keyspirits]

@heartsblooddupre ma heart is brking to pieces </3

[Mattkruz]

@Vesuvius87 it sucks I’ve been wedgied and spanked by my older sisters every day since I was 5 and they do it to be jerks instead of protecting me like normal sisters literally if they see me being bullied in the school hallway instead of sticking up for me they just laugh

[Mattkruz]

it sucks I’ve been wedgied and spanked by my older sisters every day since I was 5 and they do it to be jerks instead of protecting me like normal sisters literally if they see me being bullied in the school hallway instead of sticking up for me they just laugh I don’t even misbehave they’re just bullies

[higherthanaveragejoe]

I believe it should be the parents doing not the sibling because it throws the heirarchal chain out of balance and in taming one child she could make the other worse because she now says it's ok for her to hit people.

[Mattkruz]

It sucks I’ve been caned my older sisters and my twin sister bare bottom it hurt like crazy I was literally crying for 2 days and I couldn’t sleep it hurt to much I don’t agree my sisters are bitches and my sisters are jerks the next day they literally stole my clothes and replaced them with a bra a diaper a tank top and lipstick and nail polish while I was looking for my clothes out of nowhere they tackle me and put the stuff on me and make me go to school and at school they pantsed the diaper and everyone saw my red butt

[Luv2BRealExotic13]

You've must've not been in a black, latin, or Italian household lol. I say it's good your mother is introducing some get right to your little brother.

[rjroy3]

Eh. Inappropriate.
Humiliation works, but what she did to their relationship is cruel. He's going to have problems being friends with his sister when she's older.

[Mattkruz]

It sucks I’ve been wedgied and spanked by all of my sisters numerous times you have no idea how much it hurts I literally cry They’ve done it to me since I was 5 we’ve never been friends as of today always rivals them way more than me though I want to have a good relationship but apparently they don’t

[Maudeib]

Simply child abuse, there's no mention of a father, but if it's like 70% of households there is no father. And as the house is matriarchal I suspect is also misandristic.
Child Protective Services should be notified. Teaching the younger child that it's okay, and/or encouraged to hit her brother is abuse on too many levels to count.

Glad this was posted anonymously, cause I'd track it down and CPS would visit. This mother needs prison time!!!

[kittykatg]

Psychology would say that her idea is the worst idea and will lead to your brother having a greater chance of having mental health problems, violent outbursts and substance abuse issues.

[Mesonfielde]

I think anyone who uses a belt to cause pain to their children is at least partly inhumane and somewhat insane.

[Mattkruz]

Well than my older sisters and younger sisters are inhumane and insane

[Diego9O]

What you mother is doing is something she learned from her family. It`s a circle of violence she is passing to you and your brother and sister.

[Special11]

He'll probably end up liking bending over for others... especially men... your mother is sick.

[Anonymous]

My little sister also punishes me in the same way since she was 11years old and I was 15 years old but she does this only when I made a mistake and I think that is alright. Because of her I am not addicted to alcohol or smoking. Just because of her I am able to focus on my studies otherwise I would be wasting my time on smoking alcohol and porn. We should obey our little sisters and respect them.

[wethepeople87]

Oh please this is the reasons Teens don't have respect anyone nowadays. Whoop that Ass Girl way to go Mom!!!

[Mattkruz]

It sucks I’ve been caned by my stepmom and my stepsisters and my older sisters it hurt like crazy I was literally crying for 2 days and I couldn’t sleep it hurt to much I don’t agree my sisters are bitches

[jakeofalltrades]

I agree with spanking, but I don't know about letting your sister do it. if stuff like that happens too much it could lead to all kinds of issues

[Mattkruz]

I don’t agree with getting spanked mainly because I’ve been spanked by my sisters before for pulling a harmless prank on them I put mayonnaise in there toothpaste and they came into my room put me in an atomic Wedgie and knee bend and spanked me bare bottom with my belt I was sobbing it hurt so bad you have no idea

[Pete671]

No if it did the job, ie the boy has learnt to behave himself it's entirely ok,,,

[Mattkruz]

Tbh one time my younger sister Ellen got home from school and I went into her room and stole money from her room because I’m stronger she can’t fight back being the older brother and everything but I didn’t know my older sisters and my twin sister were home I thought they were out doing stuff and they saw me steal money from our younger sister once I saw them I knew I was screamed my older sisters and my twin sisters literally grabbed me by my underwear and dragged me out of Ellen’s room and they wedgied me stretched my underwear over my shoulders held me down and spanked me bare butt as they wedgied the shit out of me it hurt so bad

[redhot3969]

I find it odd that she would let your little sister spank him. That's something she needs to do.

[jacquesvol]

I suppose she chooses the little sister to humiliate him.

[spankedbnywife101]

I think in this instance, if it worked, then it worked. Good Job mom, thinking outside the spanking box.