Why do I want a baby so bad?

Question

I'm 19...and I really want a baby. I love the responsibility I'd have and the idea of someone needing me all the time. It wouldn't bother me having to pay for everything, waking up all hours, and giving up a lot to raise a baby and everything else along with raising a baby. I know it's important to be in a really stable relationship or married before you have a baby, but I still want one. Babies are so adorable and being a mother is something I look forward to I really like kids. every time I see a baby I wish it were mine and a pregnant girl I wish I was her.

Standingpretty · Accepted Answer

There's nothing wrong with wanting a baby, the only thing you could do that's wrong is having a baby that you couldn't provide for. It's not a matter of age either, I have seen people be better parents at 18 then some who were in their 30's. Just recently, a friend of mine who was 19 and renting her own house had a baby and she's doing great. I also know a mom who is 26, has a one year old, unemployed because she decided to have a baby before finishing her degree(which, she was only one year away from completeing). Now, she has to get money from her cousin who's disabled and have her parents help to support her until she can get her house back. Now, out of those situations, I am pretty sure the 19 year old made the smarter of the two choices. Both are great mothers, but one can provide better financially for her child and she doesn't have to worry about ending up on the streets like the other one does. I am 20 and have wanted a baby for about two years but the reason I haven't had one is for financial reasons. I have the emotional and mental capacity for a child (plus, free daycare because I am friends with dozens of people in that industry), but financially I would never make it. I even got long term birth control so that I could finish my degree and save up. I also have a very loving and supportive fiance that I would like to spend some alone time with before anything happens. It's not about losing youth either, there's not much to do when your young even though everyone likes to think of it being that way. Wanting a child is natural instinct, but actually taking the time to decide on having one is a conscious effort. The four factors of having and raising a child successfully in my opinion are: Emotional stability, Financial stability, Mental stability and capacity, and a good support system.  Support is the main theme here. Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

SophieaWoods11 · Accepted Answer

I think you need to take care of a friends baby for a whole day and then think about babies at such a young age. Don't get me wrong I get those thoughts ever since my boyfriend brought it up one day and how he wants one with me one day. But iv'e babysat friends kids and it's never ending and really hard work. I'm glad I don't have a child cause that cutness dose not last. It takes more a lot to care for a baby. Money to get dipers and clothes, forumla, toys, crib, changing table, baby shampoo and conditioner and baby lotions, towels,blankets, and more. A good nannie or if you can't afford that good parents that can baby sit the kid for you when you need a break, Daycare so when you work you have a place to watch the child. Getting up durning the night and early mornings it wears a person out. Getting up to feed and change the baby every few hours or more often. Your going to have hospital bills and doctor bills to pay, incurance. If you don't have a partner to help then it's A LOT on your own. Potty traning, school and all the school supplies when they get older, and collage eventually. I know what your feeling iv'e had pregnacy scares and was kinda sad when I relized that I was not prego. Yes I am relived I wasent but it's sad cause I got thinking and picturing it in my head.

CatholicVirginia · Accepted Answer

Everyone wants a baby. *I* want a baby! Babeis are adorable and lovable and, quite frankly, I know I will be a spectacular mother.

But babies are expensive. Can you afford to give that child the life it DESERVES?

Babies are a lot of work. I assume you're a college tudent. Can you get your homework done AND feed, and bathe, and watch, and love a baby? I know I can't. I can hardly get my homework done, even when I skip my extracurriculars.

Are you ready to stay up all night for the next six months? Are you ready to find care for that child every single time you need to leave the house? Are you ready to give up all of your free time, because that belongs to the baby now?

Are you ready to forever have your heart walking around outside of your body, and the constant worry that comes with that?

It's completely natural to want a baby, but from the way you talk about wanting one, you are not mature enough to have one. There's plenty of time to have several, just not yet. And you need to be responsible, and take care of your future children by NOT HAVING THEM until you are ready.

11dog22 · Accepted Answer

I want one. I have two careers. House for now dogs. But not married and past two woman I probably could married can’t have kids.

Next woman I meet. I have to provide paperwork.
1. Can you get pregnant.
2. How many kids do you have now? If no child or children go go question 5.
3.
4.
5. Do you have goals and desires to get married and have family?
6. Do you have history or think your and alcoholic or drug dependency’s?

Well you get the picture

Lol but really. I know it be work and life isn’t easy. But I am way ready to settle. Last few women cheated, can’t, substance depending. So on.

Bradm01 · Accepted Answer

Im 19 and I think all the time how I would love a son/daughter..but also I still enjoy my Freedom..

and the only way having a Baby is going to work out is...you need to have a job, (like you said) a stable relationship, And Love For the Baby, because its not nothin you can have and then just Throw away..(which some people do...and in my eyes they deserve to be Shot)..

But from the sound of it: you already know all of that and I hope everything works out for ya...But I just say Don't RUSH into it..it will never work out if you do..

EngineeringStudent · Answer

There are a few questions you should ask yourself:

Can you afford taking care of the baby without help from mom and dad?

Are you willing to pretty much sacrifice your youth to ensure that the baby lives in a good stable household

Will you be able to find a guy your age who will stick around, adding to the stability of the household?

Are you sure you're ready to make this huge, 18 year investment just off of the spur of the moment?

If you answer no to any of these questions (which realistically, you should have), then don't have a baby!

bunnahies · Answer

i wanna be preggers and have a baby too! my boyfriend wants one too! and he said he won't be mad at if I got preggers by accident. but he asked me if I can wait till he gets a better job so we can take care of it :(
like I work and all but the money goes to transportation and food. if I had a baby I would have to drop out and most likey quit cause the baby should be with the parents for the first year or 2! I forgot why...
like its a bad idea to get one but theyre so goddamn cute! me and my boyfriend loves to point/look at kid. we like going to toy stores and baby sections! we'd end up saying "we're getting this for our baby one day" we smile at the thought of dressing up as a family on halloween. since we don't have a baby we're debating if we wanna be bunnies and take our build-a-bear bunny out with us and hold its hand lol
we give him Christmas presents :x this year he's gonna get a girlfriend :D

Apodyopsis · Answer

Having baby fever is like.. watching a TV show about, say ERs. Those shows made me wanna become a freakin' doctor. It looked so cool and exciting. But when you go through it in real life, it's actually exhausting. Nothing cool about it.

When you say you want babies, you don't see the bad sides, the downfalls, the freedom you'll lose. You only picture everything being sunshine and puppies and rainbows. Even if you took care of your baby's sister for a day, it's only a day. It's not a lifetime.

Phoenix1991 · Answer

I mean, nothing is wrong with having the idea and the fantasy of doing so. I fantasize of just getting in a hummer and driving through peoples house non stop while blasting a song that keeps saying " I don't give a ****"  *cough* anyways, I have the urge to do so, but I don't do it because I don't want the consequences. So its normal to feel that way, because my girlfriend is pressuring me with the idea of having one early...and I'm not ready.

naturaldisaster · Answer

Be careful what you wish for, cause it just might happen! But yeah I myself want a baby right now, but behind that cuteness and them being so precious they are annoying!
They don't let you sleep, they need their diaper changed every few hours, fed, clothed, well...lets just say I can't do any of those for myself very well, let alone a baby. I think ill kill my baby.

Suzieeperezz · Answer

Sweetiee I'm in tge aame situation as u..right now..i wish I can be pregnant right now too...but I'm 17...me and my boiifriend live together...and every time we have sex(everydaeee)i tell him I wanna have his babiee...he tells me...i want you to be my babiee mama too...then he has came inside me every time we have sex now(everydaee)...lol...i understand..

Anonymous · Answer

"It wouldn't bother me having to pay for everything"

Fifty bucks says that you couldn't physically pay for everything at age 19. You would either have to have some super awesome job (like a famous child actor or singer), have some crazy inheritance, or spend all of your waking hours working more than one job.

Anonymous · Answer

I think it's a selfish decision to make.

Babies are so adorable, yes, but they need things you can't offer right now. They need money, a house, a father, a well-educated mother, stability and a lot more.

Focus on yourself right now and keep that desire inside you until you're ready.

gummybear888 · Answer

omg work a day in retail at least. you get crying screaming misbehaving little devils running around driving their parents crazy. yeah I'm so not looking forward to it. good bye days of freedom...

MyNameIsJonas · Answer

Your a little bit crazy.  I think everyone is in their own way. Really I don't think you should have a baby at your age. Children are so exspensive and are a huge responsibility. Its not something to be taken lightly.

Asailum · Answer

ur idealizing all the hard work.. itl be great to have a kid but the honeymoon dream you got about it in your head right now will be nothing like it is when your changing smelly diapers and can't sleep, having to put up with tons of sh*t etc etc..

moloz · Answer

I saw many girls like you that had this "desire". Usually, they snapped out of it - either by being scared to death or just having hormones wearing out...

I want to have a descendent too, but not so "bad".

urmama · Answer

You just want to feel needed, appreciated, Loved, etc Or you just can't find a job and think that having a kid will get you some government assistance.  Do us all a favor seek some counseling.

westman74 · Answer

You want unconditional love... Babys give you that... But you need to love your self first... Live a bit enjoy life... Think about kids in seven or eight years...

Anonymous · Answer

Because you're dumb, that's why. Just like my ex was madly in love with me at 22, wanted to marry me and all that and then dumps me in a text. Don't make any rational decisions until you're at least 25, because your brain might actually work then.

Anonymous · Answer

I know what you mean. I went clothes shopping for my niece, and I was struck by a really strong need to be 10 years older and with a baby on the way. It went away in a couple days though, maybe it'll be the same for you?

Misty_04 · Answer

I find it so hard to understand this.  We're around the same age and a baby is the last thing I want, they give me panic attacks :/

cjwright79 · Answer

Yeah, but how do you think the baby's gonna feel when he ends up age 25 with no job and no future?

Hyped_up_on_coffee · Answer

Uh wait till you find a guy you like, babies aren't like dolls you can dress up or something.

cjwright79 · Answer

Why do I want a slice of cheesecake so bad? I just do, that's why.

Why do I want a baby so bad?

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