What does it mean when a guy breaks up with you and says you can be friends, but won't talk to you or see you?

My now ex boyfriend broke up with me on Wednesday and told me that we could still be friends and hang out, but he won't talk to me or text me. He obviously doesn't want to hang out. What does that mean? I have been out of the dating scene for so long that I just don't know what to think or do.

 

What's Your Opinion?

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Most Helpful Opinion

  • I actually told my ex that I still wanted to be friends even though she dumped me. Though I later found out that she lied to me about "not being able to be in a relationship right now", and actually dumped me for another guy. The reason she agreed to be friends is because she knew that I would suspect some foul play if she didn't, because "not being able to be in a relationship right now" isn't really something you would not want to even be friends with an ex for. So as soon as I found out there was actually another guy she actually told me that she didn't want me to be upset with her. HA! It is a way to avoid the hurt you are putting on the other person, that way you don't have to have all of the guilt that goes along with a break up. The thing you have to realize is that he doesn't want to be with you right now, for whatever reason, so you should return the favor. Don't even try to be friends with him, go completely no contact and if he calls you then don't answer for at least 30 days. After 30 days I'd say it is okay to call him and ask if you are ready to be friends, but don't have high expectations, prepare for the worst that way you won't be too disappointed if he doesn't want to be friends.

What Guys Said 9

  • hes trying not to make you feel as bad, yes it still hurts but he's trying to be as nice as he can about it, guys after a relationship feel like it odd to talk or hang out with their ex for awhile, just time and small conversations will bring a friendship back together after a break-up...hope I helped

  • That means only one thing... and only one thing! It means he dumped you, and thinks by telling you that you guys could still remain friends you'd think that was so sweet of him when in fact he was an ass because he was a coward to NOT tell you the real reason why. Your best bet is to put him behind you know and try the best you can to move on with your life. If by chance he enters your life again and you still like him then decide then how you want to handle that. Right now my advice is to relish the love you had for each other and try to figure what went wrong so that you can prevent the same circumstances from happening again.

  • Give him time, he is proving the point that the boyfriend girlfriend thing is over and wants to drive the point home. Then after about 2 weeks or so he will return your calls or text, take it slow guys hate when they feel like they are still in a relationship even though they have ended it.

  • Your idea of being friends and his idea of being friends is totally different. You think that friends hang out together and talk to each other. His idea is that you and he will at least be civil when you do run into each other somewhere.

    You guys are now exes. Exes don't hang out.

  • It means when he dumped you, he tried to let you down easy. Sorry!

    But he might still start missing you whether he expected to or not...

  • Honestly, he's not being mean at all. Believe it or not, he's being nice. You obviously still want him, and if he still talks to you it's going to be harder for both of you. I always put in place a no-contact rule when I brake up, even if I'm getting dumped. The only time I don't is when I'm not sure if I made the right decision. Give him at least two weeks.

  • lol Hey girls...he broke up with you. If I broke up with my girlfriend, I wouldn't want to talk to her really. I would need to get my mind off of her and move on. We aren't trying to be mean or anything, we're just trying to cope with the break up just like you. Sidenote: If I was REALLY attracted to the girl that I/she broke up with then I probably would never talk to her again. That sounds weird but if she just wants to be friends and I had more feelings for her then every time I saw her I would hate it because I would want her back, and I'm not the type of guy that wants his ex back...to me that's...well unmanly...lol anywho don't take it personal, if it wasn't meant to be then it's not meant to be.

    • Lol....hmmm....which part...i'm interested in understanding your perpective better...

    • A part of your answer sounds a bit ridiculous though it does kinda make sense and explains some things in my life right now...

  • I`m kind of in the same sit. right now. We split up last week on saturday. I guess he wouldn`t know what to say. You just broke up a few days ago and you can`t just be friends instantly. Try not to call or text him for at least a week. You will both need some time appart. When you think you are ready to handle the situation, and you still want to keep him as a friend you can call him. If he then still doesn`t want to see or talk to you, he didn`t really mean it. Try to understand (just like I have to) that he might feel bad for you at the moment, and having contact with you might give him a guilty conscience. So he tries to avoid contact with you right now. Sucks, I know - but that`s how people are, I guess

  • It sounds to me like he wasn't sincere when he said that he still wanted to be friends - it's probably what I'd do if I was uncomfortable with breaking up. Either that, or he's having a hard time getting over you, or he is embarrased that he broke up with you and is regreting it.

What Girls Said 9

  • im in the exact same situation. hopefully he did contact you... as for me I'm still waiting unfortunately. =(

  • Samething happened to me recently girl! My boyfriend broke up with me 5 days ago and said we'll still be friends, and if time comes, maybe more. But, he does not talk, call or texts me. This does mean that he's guilty for breaking up with you for whatever reason, and if you guys will be in contact again, it will be hard for both of you and the feeling of getting back together comes again this way. So, he wants himself and you to have some time getting over the breaking up fact. Wait few weeks, then see if He contacts you on his own. If he does not, then you should just move on girl, I know how difficult it is since I'm going thru the same, but I told myself samething as I'm telling you. Goodluck!

  • Most likely he just said you could be friends to lessen the pain of the break up. He doesn't intend on being your friend but just said it so you wouldn't be so upset.

  • sometimes when people say they will be friends, they mean they aren't going to be your enemy. It means they aren't going to hang out with you, chit chat, etc. They just aren't going to run the other way when they see you on the street. It's not good to be friends with an ex that you still haven't gotten over anyways.

  • No contact is the best after breaking up because you can't be friends with someone you still have strong feelings towards.. give it a time

  • He is giving himself and you some time to heal. You do need time to heal, even after a short relationship. You need time to transition from romance to friendship. No one can be friends that quick after breaking up. It hasn't even been a week. Give it a while.

    Try not to contact him for a few weeks, Give yourself time to get over him.

  • Since the breakup is recent, chances are he needs some time to heal. I know my ex said the same thing when I broke up with him (I know, weird that I broke his heart and he still wanted to be friends), and we talked for a while, but that abruptly ended. He had asked me to hang out, but I said no. Then he moved away, and wanted to talk again. All of this ended when he got into a new relationship, which is fine by me, I really wasn't interested in a friendship with him anyway.

    He probably said that you could still be friends so as not to hurt you to the extent of saying that he hated you. Basically, he probably didn't mean it, he just didn't want to hurt you too badly.

  • when people are breaking up and say "we can still be friends" is bullsh*t and a copout. they say that so you won't b as upset

  • "We can still be friends" is a brush off especially if he doesn't call you or anything. It is an an insincere statement made to get out of an uncomfortable situation. Usually the person doing the dumping is the one who says that you can still be friends.

    If the person still wanted to be your friend, they would follow through. If you dumped him, then he may just be angry and wanted to hurt your feelings by saying that you could still be friends and then not doing it.

    Maybe you should just move on. There are tons of guys out there to meet. So don't be too broken-hearted over this. KRL

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