Why do women have so much pressure to look good?

I mean, I realize everyone should put effort into themselves, but it seems like the world defines a woman's worth based on her looks. Women with good looks are highly praised, & other women want to look like them. Not to mention, women are constantly getting plastic surgery to improve their looks, while you don't see men doing cosmetic procedures like this. While men may try to look good, they don't have quite the high pressure on them to be attractive. But most of things women are supposed to be focused on is related to their looks: hair, clothing, make-up, etc. You don't hear men talking about these things, just women. Women also fear getting older because their looks will fade. Why can't our lives be more than just looks, we have more to offer to the world.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I kind of feel like I'm the exception because I don't spend much time worrying about my hair or make-up or clothes. My hair is either up in a pony tail or I just brush it and leave it down. To me, taking my time to do my hair involves blow drying it before I go to bed so it's a little bit straighter the next day or if someone offers to do it for me I might take them up on the offer. Anything else takes too long and I consider it to be too much work...it's just hair. I hardly ever wear make-up because I think it's a waste of time and money...you just wash it off at the end of the day anyways. I'm not saying I never wear make-up but I think it's been about 2-3 months since I last wore it. On to clothing...I make sure I'm dressed for the occasion. If I can get away with shorts and a t-shirt then that's what I will wear. If I'm going to work, I'll make sure to dress up and wear nicer clothes. I just don't care much about how other people view the way I look. As long as I look clean and I'm happy with the way I look, then anyone who doesn't like the way I look can just go jump off a bridge for all I care.

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What Guys Said 6

  • I think this is a common complaint but men also have pressures to look good as well and I think that this pressure is for the competition for "mates."

    If a guy wants to get a girl he has to look good, and although that doesn' t mean doing his hair and looking for the latest fashion, he has to work out, groom all excess hair that girls don't have to deal with, and get turned down a dozen times before he gets a girl that will give him the time of day (no matter how good looking he is, it's hard to approach girls).

    And unlike girls who can look good at a much higher body fat percentage, guys have to get incredibly low body fat to have the abs that are crucial to being considered attractive.

    So I think it goes both ways. Though you've only experienced what girls go through, remember the grass is always greener on the other side.

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    • Yes, I think men have pressure too. But men can often attract women without looks. Women are attracted to many things. Usually, a woman has to be attractive to the man in order for him to want her. And I'm not complaining, I'm just stating a fact.

    • Generally correct, but not a fact.

  • haha if that is the biggest pressure on your life, consider yourself blessed

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    • I don't think you get it, and I feel sorry for you.

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    • thats true, but now look back at my initial comment. you don't feel blessed that you have to worry about looking good rather than your next meal, someone literally USING you for sex, or finding shelter?! that was my only point before you got all condescending and "feeling sorry for me". don't feel sorry for me, I love my life, feel sorry for those whose families are killed in genocides. I really don't think I need your sympathy as much as they do. just a little perspective for ya

    • Well, I understand that. But I felt like you were saying my problem was no big deal, and that is why I felt attacked. I understand your point now.

  • The media. Plain and simple. And men and women get caught up in all of it. We would all be healthier(mind and spirit) if we didn't have all this media showing us what is important when in reality living your own life, being healthy and good to people is all that matters. Most people with good hearts are not looking for "plastic" people.

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    • Thanks for reminding me of this great jam from my youth.. link

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    • I agree. If you watch TV, you will always see a plastic surgery show, with 95% of patients being women who are trying to be more beautiful. What about loving yourself & not getting so caught up in your looks. There is more to people than their physical body. Yes, we should take care of our bodies, but we even more so, should take care of who we are on the inside.

    • gonna get you a cane on your b-day

  • Just because you don't hear men talking about these things doesn't mean we don't think about it. Why do you think there's a gym every five feet in suburbia?

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    • I think men feel some pressure too, but I think it's much worse for women. And I say this because a woman's value is actualy measured by her looks. Men may have pressure to look good, but if a man is intelligence, wealthy, talented, etc, his value is based on those things. But the world seems to think if a woman isn't beautiful, who cares what else she can do. They consider her a failure & that is ridiculous. My value should be based on my personality & abilities, not physical beauty.

    • Then how come some of the richest, wealthiest people in the world (men) are still single. Looks are just as important on both ends. Men just do not complain about it as much as women do

    • Those men generally don't go out or don't have time to meet people. Trust me, those guys could have millions of women because there are tons of women who want money alone. It's not because women don't want them, it's because they don't make effort. Women do not just appear on your front porch, you have to go find them.

  • Because of other women.

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    • I think there is a little more to it than that. If you look at the past, women have actually always had pressure to look good on them. Feminism has made the world a much better place for women, but nothing has been done about a woman's value being beyond her looks. People are still obsessed with it, & women are constantly insecure about how they look. I wonder if people ever realize how serious of an issue this really is until they really think about it.

    • I still think it's other women that women are dressing up for. It's other women who's standards you feel compelled to meet, by and large.

  • Who cares? Do whatever you like that makes you happy. If you'd like to focus on your looks, do it. If you want to focus on something else instead, do that. If a bunch of other women are focusing on being hotter, that's really their business/problem, isn't it?

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    • No not really. This issue is very important to me, & it is something I focus on. I want to help women because I see how much they put through. I want to help other women develop their self esteem & know there is more to them than just looking good. When all a woman cares about is looking good, she will eventually get very depressed because there will always be another woman who is prettier & man who doesn't find her attractive. I want to help other women, & consider one of my life purposes.

What Girls Said 4

  • Apparently in the last few years, there has been almost as many men getting plastic surgery as women. Most common surgeries for men are liposuction, tummy tucks and chest reduction. What about all these steroid cases that are constantly on the news? Obviously, the meathead community has been doing it for decades, but steroid use is very widespread nowadays, amongst regular gym-goers, who 'just want to get bigger faster'. Especially for men who were twigs before they started working out. What about all these adverts for men's cosmetics, hair dye to diguise grey, stuff to encourage hair growth and reduce balding, anti-ageing creams? Men over 40 running to the doctor straight away after it took them 3 minutes to get hard instead of 2 for Viagra, to keep the woman in their lives satisfied? Men dread growing old just as much as women do.

    Basically, the media instead of letting us forget about our looks for a while, they're trying to level out the playing field for women. They trying to encourage men too to make sure they don't sag, flop, bald, and whatnot. Instead of embracing what we are, we should just keep improving ourselves until we die, non-stop. Both men and women. No way we should accept how we look. Then we'd have to deal with real problems.

    Then again, you're only part of this, if you choose to be.

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    • Yes, it personally makes me sick how much pressure everyone is put under to "look good." And you're right, men do feel a lot of pressure as well. But I still think women have it worse because unattractive men can find a partner much easier than unattractive women. That is because women are attracted to different things in men, while men seem to put a great deal value on looks. If you've ever watched the show, "Millionair Matchmaker," you'll see how rich old men get young beautiful women...

    • left & right. But if a millionaire woman comes on the show, she can only get men her own age. Which, I don't think there is anything wrong with that, but it really says something. Men can get the young & beautiful girl, but women have to settle for what they can get.

  • Men.

    Guys may go for a less attractive girl but after they hit & miss with a more attractive girl or because they fear rejection with the attractive girl.

    The media.

    Other women.

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  • I've always been pretty confused why so many people seem obsessed with outer appearance. My parents and the rest of my family put the least emphasis on looks and the most emphasis on giving back to the community and doing "the right thing" so I've always been pretty lax about my appearance and don't put much effort into it. And none of the people I interact with a lot seem to care too much about theirs or my appearance...or if they do I'm completely oblivious to it, ha ha.

    I think it's pretty awesome that you're willing to address this issue and help women ^_^ I tend to admire the women who give so much back to the community the most (Jane Goodall, Temple Grandin, and other people just in my community) so it's nice to see other people do the same (or at least want to do the same) thing too.

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  • Blame the media and other women because to be honest men don't want a girl that is too caught up on their appearance to be in to them, however it never hurt anyone to look good.

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    • I agree with what you said about men, but I still think men find looks very important. I think they'd just rather assume a woman is naturally pretty than have a woman who has to put make up on & do her hair for hours.

    • true, but even when it comes to that they won't mind a little make up except they hate lip gloss

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