If you've never had a boyfriend are you most probably ugly?

[Anonymous]

let's say a shy 22 year old girl has never had a boyfriend, she has had some guys approach her, but not really the most physically appealing ones (any guy below decent). would you assume she's probably an uggo?

Updates

+1 y

also, is it true that guys have become more "feminine" throughout the recent years? As in they prefer more aggressive women?

Updates

+1 y

honest answers, please, no sugarcoating

[sarcasticbella]

that does happen a lot to unattractive people but it can also happen to pretty people too, mostly the ones who are so insecure that its like repellent men. If you told me that you've never had a boyfriend (and not by choice) then I would probably assume your not attractive but that doesn't mean its true, there could be many reasons for it...

And yes with women are liberated, its more acceptable for women to approach men and be active in the search for companionship but most men don't expect women to make the first move and prefer an even mix of passiveness and aggressiveness.

[Asker]

guys have asked me out, but all of them were "below average in looks" by societal standards and I was not in the least bit attracted to them (not to sound shallow).

[sarcasticbella]

That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with your looks. I think most people generally know if their attractive to the masses or not even without the opinions of outsiders. Ultimately its not important that other people see you as beautiful, its important to see yourself as such, that makes other people believe it. It could have nothing to do with your looks at all, but with your personality and demeanor, even your culture and location plays a part.

[sourpatchchik2]

I have a couple friends who have never had a boyfriend. Heck, I've only had one boyfriend..and that wasn't even 3 months. I don't think any of us are ugly. I'd say the vibe you give off is more likely the "problem" than your looks. If a girl doesn't look interested most guys aren't going to risk approaching-getting shot down isn't the greatest feeling. I know that's my "problem", although I don't want a boyfriend so when I don't look interested it really means I'm not interested.

[rachellyjean13]

Never assume. And honestly this is total bs. I'm 20, about to be 21 and I've never had a boyfriend either...and not to sound conceded or anything but I'm not bad looking. Also, I've seen some ugly mofos with boyfriends. Guess its just a mixed bag...

[psm357]

No, there are a lot of other reasons for not getting a boyfriend or girlfriend. One of the main (and most important) reason is they have not found the correct person to be in a relationship with. There is not much point to rush into a relationship that does not last. stay happy and be confident!

Not necessarily, the thing that change is girl can play a more 'man' role such as taking the initiative to talk to the guy she likes, taking the initiative to ask the guy out etc. Not necessarily means guys like more violent/rude women.

[Asker]

by aggressive, I did not mean violent/rude, I meant guys who pursue all the women they like, as in having the courage to approach the women they attracted to- love the old fashioned way.

[jeremy20]

No, that does not make that 22 year old shy girl ugly. I myself, at the age of 24 am really shy and I've only had one relationship stemming from high school into my young adulthood. Just because you're shy, that doesn't mean you're ugly.

As far as guys becoming feminine, not sure on that one. What exactly do you mean by "aggressive?"

[Asker]

not really taking on expected gender roles...like less guys are apt to be old fashioned in their ways

[jeremy20]

The one gender role I hate is that its acceptable for only guys to make the first moves...such as the approach, asking out, kissing, etc. I think it should be completely acceptable for a girl to approach a guy for once. On the other hand, I think its the role of the guy to take care of the girl, protect her, and do things for her best interest...that is if she's faithful to him

[Asker]

but don't guys usually approach and initiate contact with a girl if he's REALLY interested?

it seems like when you guys say you'd welcome a girl approaching you, you mean it's welcome if it's a girl that is somewhat attractive to you

[jeremy20]

That may be the case...of course we'd only wanna be approached by the girls we find suitable as a mate...in a perfect world...but it works both ways. You said it yourself in your question...that you have been approached by less average guys. Would you wanna be approached by a less average guy or one you find suitable to date?

[Little-Hippie]

Some girls just suck at sh*t.

I have chick friends who are gorgeous but have never had a boyfriend because they just don't know how to interact with men.

That said, if hot guys never hit on you, you MIGHT be unattractive.

[Asker]

Hot guys don't need to hit on girls

[Little-Hippie]

No, A-list celebrities don't need to hit on girls.

Even if a guy is hot, he still have to put forth some flirtation. He can't always expect a girl to do it.

The difference is that a hot guy definitely has a better chance with more women.

[Anonymous]

Not at all! Many people have their reasons for never dating.

[Asker]

like?

[Moloch]

To be honest, yeah maybe. But it also depends how shy she is too, and the signs she sends men whether positive or negative. Yes, men have become more feminine.

[kdizzleforizzle91]

I'm 21 and have never had a boyfriend. I've also been told I'm attractive by a few guys. Maybe most of the guys she's been interested in are taken or just not her type or are better as friends, maybe she's too shy. There are many possible reasons. The attractiveness of the guys who approach her doesn't tell much about how attractive she is.

[kdizzleforizzle91]

What reason did you have to disagree with my answer? I answered your question.

[Asker]

i didn't disagree with your answer

[kdizzleforizzle91]

Sorry then. I'm still curious why it deserved a down arrow, whoever it was.

[kenrs64]

As in feminine,do you mean being nice and not saying things like"Give me a beer bitch and what's for dinner"? Like a real man.

[Asker]

yes, and abandoning some of the traditional gender roles like approaching women, instead of waiting for girls to approach him, opening the doors...etc.

[kenrs64]

Opening doors and many other traditions are now considered sexist. So guys are damned if they do and damned if they don't. It's the new world of feminism.

[Anonymous]

I would consider it as a possibility but never make that assumption. I would have to see a picture of her or see her in real life to determine whether or not she's physically unattractive to me.

[Anonymous]

i'm 24 and never had a girlfriend, I wonder the same thing about me as a guy

[Asker]

:(

[Opinion Owner]

yeah I've thought about suicide before

[Opinion Owner]

i have Asperger Syndrome that's why

[Anonymous]

I am 23 and never dated

[99PROBLEMS]

Yes.