Just started dating a new guy. I don't want to mess it up!

Hi Guys,

I have just started dating a great guy and everything is going great, I don't want to do anything intentionally or un-intentionally to mess it up! How would a new girl you are dating mess it up for you? or girls, how would a man mess things up for you?

By this I mean certain things that one does, maybe not even realizing they are doing it, that may or may not put a guy/girl off from dating you.

This guy I have met, is lovely (or at least appears to be at the moment lol). We have been on 2 dates, only a couple of days apart and we are going on our 3rd date next week! We text quite a bit and I have asked him if this is a problem (as with some of my ex's it was), he has said no, he enjoys texting me its nice, but he doesn't want ,me to feel like I should text etc. He is being very sweet at the min and we get on great, & I really don't wanna mess it up! I'm not saying that I will, but some pointers would be a great help!

So come on, what would put you off? or what can you do to ensure this guy/girl is thinking about you? :-)


Most Helpful Girl

  • It's hard to say what can destroy a relationship cause everyone is different with different issues. One person is too clingy and someone else is too withdrawn. They can both kill a relationship.

    But I can tell you what can kill YOUR relationship, the fact that you aren't taking this guy at face value. One of the first things you said is that he is a great guy. In one of your responses to someone's answer, you said you think he is playing ill to get out of a date with you. So which is it? Is he a great guy or a sneaky guy? I assume he is probably "lovely" as you phrased it but, as ap110 phrased it, you are making him "pay for the sins of other guys you've dated".

    Everyone has baggage in a relationship. Everyone. Whether you saw your father sleep around or had a boyfriend act like you weren't important, we all get some queues in life that sometimes the opposite sex isn't going to treat you the way you want to be treated. This lovely guy of yours has baggage too. You know how I can tell? He said you should only text if you want to. In my experience, that means he probably hasn't had the most attentive girlfriends in the past. He probably can't for the life of him figure out why you are always texting him and is afraid that you are just doing it to be nice, not cause you like him.

    Have you ever played that game "What's the first thing that comes to your mind?" Where the person says "Apple pie or Cherry pie" and without thinking, you blurt out one? Then that is supposed to tell you subconsciously what you want? I suggest you do that with him. When he texts and says he is ill, instead of reading in to it, ask yourself "Is he a jerk or a good guy?" From your statements, I assume he is a good guy. Then go from there. Take him at his word cause he has proving himself to be a good guy. You are going to get bogged down with fears and worries that he is your past boyfriends. Maybe some of them said you pushed them away and that's why you are freaking out about pushing him away. When you get like that, remember that when you typed up this question the first things that came to your mind is "great guy" and "lovely" THEN came "(or at least appears to be)".

    Stop convincing yourself he is like the rest and take him for who he is.