What stops white guys from dating black girls?

I am a black female who is attracted to all races of men. I find it very interesting, though, that white men are most reluctant to date black girls. In fact, men in general are becoming more and more hesitant to court us. Why is that? Lack of attraction? Fear? Social stigmas?

Please respond :]

thanks for the input :]


Most Helpful Girl

  • A lot of white guys assume black girls want black guys and black guys only which isn't necessarily true. I'm black and I've always been more attracted to white guys, my friends are absolutely amazed on the rare occasion when I see a black guy and go, "Oh he's cute." But I've always been more attracted to white guys, couldn't tell you why. In pre-school I used to run around with some little blonde hair blue eyed boy and we'd tell people we were going to get married.

    Some white guys also assume that most black girls will act "ghetto" which isn't at all true. Then there's also the fear of random black guys getting mad for white guys dating "their women." The fear of meeting a black girls family can be in there too. With interracial relationships there's always the fear of people saying something but really your relationship is really none of their business.

    But it's not just the guys who'll wind up with rude comments it's the girls too. When I tell people I'm more attracted to white guys than black guys I've heard everything from, "What, you think you're too good to date a black guy," to being told that I'm a traitor to my race which is absolutely ridiculous. Some people ask me if it's just "ghetto" black guys that I don't like and are amazed when I tell them no. I know plenty of well educated black men and I just don't find them attractive, I'm just way more attracted to white guys than I am black guys, it's as simple as that


    • Though you can never say always, it is more common for black men to be attracted to white women than the converse. Look at the responses on average. I read somewhere that the worst race to be is a male asian. Usually the least desired by other races as well as within the race. It's horrible that people still argue a racial steriotype. There's ghetto blacks and white trash. All races have bad examples and good examples.

    • Show All
    • @Chris9471 It's not Black men's business whom you date. It's yours and that ladies. Ignore the living hell out of them and just be happy with your woman. Black men certainly don't own Black women and they need to mind their own business. They can't have me and I don't want them so there's nothing for them to do but go scratch and get glad.

    • @Georgiacarr totally agree

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What Guys Said 102

  • For one thing, it's quite dangerous since many black men won't tolerate us making a move on 'their' women. Of course, no one ever objects to them flirting with Caucasian women because then we'd be racist, etc., But of course they're not racist, just ask them, they'll tell you.

    Secondly, most of them, like their role models among wealthy Caucasian women, are simply for sale, and that's not really very attractive unless you're into that scene.

  • See, this kind of thing always amazes me. I was born and schooled in VA. And you'd think by now, We would ALL be past a question like this. But then, you turn on the TV, or you pick up the paper, and it's like it's 1860 all over again... (long elipse).

    The short answer is, I have seen my (great) share of extremely beautiful woman, of every race and color. Should this matter? Should I take this into account? If I find a woman sexy, should I disrespect her because she was not born of a certain race or creed or tribe?

    The ugly truth is, we ALL suffer from prejudicial behavior of some kind or another. It's just so very sad when this has to involve love (or at-least nice asses).

    I, for one, LOVE beautiful women of every (legal) age and color, regardless of status, wealth, heritage, etc. Just give me a woman with a nice, curvy, juicy ass. :)

    • look up the word preference...you don't come off as being very educated..MOST PEOPLE DATE BASED on a person's appearance and yes,one's color does or can have everything to do with it..look up the definitions of these words "preference" racism" and "discrimination" as it seems as though you equate preference to being the same as the last two I mentioned

  • I think that beautiful women come in all colors, shapes and sizes, as I have no major race issues. I must admit though I had an African American woman pursuing me some time back when I was in the service as she often commented on my fat behind, which she always said was a compliment and that she would really like to be with me. I didn't have a problem with this and was always friendly with her. However when we were supposed to "hook up" as it were I didn't do anything, not because I didn't like her, but because at the time I was still a virgin and was rather worried that my "junk" wouldn't be big enough for her or that I wouldn't please her, so this was more a confidence issue on my part than a racial issue. I feel today though that were I single again and an African American woman were to pursue me again I would be more confident than before and I would be a little more assertive, not because my dimensions have changed from before, but I have a little more experience and believe it is more how I treat a woman than how big or small my parts are. I hope this makes sense and that it isn't offensive to anyone, I'm just being honest.

  • I'm a white English man and I am not exclusively attracted to any race.

    The dating site OkCupid recently studied the trends of who their members chose to contact and compared their racial preferences.

    Black women were more likely to respond to messages regardless of the race of the sender than any other group.

    White men and women were the most popular groups to contact, but also the most likely to ignore other races.

    Here's the link if anyone wants to read the full article.


    • Well I think that article is really saying something... possibly the most open minded/desperate and most 'racist' races.

    • I don't think it's a case of being either desperate or racist. I was surprised by the results and wish people could just be open to meeting someone special without putting restrictions on who they'll let into their lives. But that doesn't seem to be the way most people work, which is their loss.

    • and there's nothing wrong with that..it's called preference

  • Perhaps it's not as much an issue of black or white, but other factors? If you're a really great person, some guys may just be intimidated by that. They may assume you have a boyfriend. You may just be bad at flirting. You might not be aware of how guys flirt and you send off a different vibe, it could be that your look isn't working for you, you could be an extreme pessimist, you may be a nasty cruel hearted girl, it could be that you're just so busy that a guy can recognize it and not want to date you because you're too busy for a relationship - I don't know. Point is to just be aware that there could be so many things other than race that can affect how the dating life goes.

    You could be right, though - it could be a race issue where you live, but I know that around me at least, there doesn't seem to be any problems with "interracial dating."

    I seem to be just as ugly to black girls as I am to the white girls, so ANY dating tends to be pretty limited for me. Lol.

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What Girls Said 36

  • i think that a lot of white males might find the stereotypical (loud, in your face, whatever else falls under there) black female intimidating and too much of a hassle, so they just stay away from all in general. obviously the stereotype doesn't apply to all, but I've seen this sort of question several times on this site now and a lot of answers always come back to the stereotype, with guys saying, "if she doesn't fit the stereotype and is nice and calm and etcetc, I would like to get to know her better"

  • I'm not a white GUY, but as a white GIRL I can tell you that most black women seem... not to sound racist, but rather stand-offish. I'm very intimidated by them because they don't appear to ME to be as receptive or as welcoming as my "usual crowd". I have plenty of black friends, however, our friendships were only started because THEY approached ME. I realize this is really backward thinking and I'm probably just acting insecure, but black women look like can kick my butt with a remarkable amount of ease. Then again, I avoid the overly-confident "cheerleader" type white girls as well.

    • lol your answer reminds me of the movie Mean Girls. Remember that clique, the "Unfriendly Black Hotties"?

  • My experience is they feel as though black females wouldn't give them the time of day so they don't bother.

  • Okay this goes back to the media and what we've been brainwashed to accept as beautiful and sexy. We've been bombarded with images all our lives, movies, commercials, shows, we are continuely being shown these images of what is "supposed" to look good. To be considered pretty or beautiful you have to either have eurocentric features or pretty close to it. Long hair, lighter skin, either blonde or brown, light colored eyes, and being thin is the "standard" beauty. We've been shown this all our lives till the point the majority believes this, notice how someone non black or black will be quicker to say beyonce or rihanna is hot rather than another other black person in the media. Why? because we've been shown their images over and over again and told over and over again they are sexy, they are beautiful ( not to say riihanna and beyonce aren't beautiful because that would be a lie) . It's more "acceptable" to date someone that would either look like beyonce or rihanna because they have "eurocentric" features.

    If you don't fit the bill most likely many won't be attracted as crazy and stupid as it sounds. Media has a hold on us, like someone's comment below, babies aren't taught to be racist, children aren't racist, it's taught. Honestly I think some white guys won't approach because of stereotypes, they believe black girls are loud, obnoxious, always having an attitude, and then they don't fit the media standard, and will probably not approach. I'm not saying all white guys are like that, but I'm sure there are a lot who may feel this way. Stereotypes gets no one any where, I'm a quiet, reserved black girl, who reads everyday, who is in no way "ghetto", and shy.

    Come on people this is 2010, we need to really get off these stereo types and actually get to know people.

    • Theres a reason they say that light skin blonde hair and light eyes are sexier...cuz they are, I love that look its sooo sexy

    • as a guy let me say that recent studies show that most people date exclisively within their own race.the interracial relationships on TV and in movies and among hollywood celebrities does NOT reflect the norm'..besides,preference is preference and shouldn't be blown into some huge issue.

  • The same thing that stops any guy...fear of rejection.

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