i was talking to this guy for 5 months, we were really close but then whenever I asked what we were he flipped out. I know he cared about me because his friends told me and his actions as well. we ended things a month ago because I wanted more and he said he was too emotionally attached and didn't wanna be attached. I know his last girlfriend hurt him bad. we hooked up last week and then I didn't hear from him, I said something to him about it and he said we shouldn't hang out anymore because its just a booty call. I can tell by the way he looks at me that he still likes me. is he acting this way and calling it a booty call because he doesn't wanna get hurt, and get attached? he's NOT the kind of guy to use a girl in any way, he was brought up very well. why is he acting like this?
Most Helpful Girl
I think there are people that will just say "I'm too attached" as an excuse but I believe there are both men and women who sincerely mean it.
But I do have to say, in my experience, these people have had some severe trauma in their lives. Enough where they don't respond the typical way. It's not always true but people who are molested, beaten, abused in some way as children, can have severe problems with attachment because they simply do not trust anyone.
But what is important to see is that even if he is one of the people who was traumatized severely in life, then he does sincerely mean 'I am too attached.' He does mean, 'I don't want to be attached'. He may go back and forth about it. Because he is human and still wants love. But what that means is, if he is one of the people who struggles with being attached, then your life is going to be a rollercoaster. One day he will call you up and then he won't call you for 2 months. He may really want to be with you but it doesn't mean he is going to treat you in any way that is going to make you feel loved. You might have a really bumpy road of intense pain when one day he stops calling completely.
So whether he really feels too attached or not, there is going to be a lot of pain for you because you want to be attached. I know sometimes we want to help fix people of their problems but if you want to help him get over attachment issues you have to dedicate yourself to many painful years of this kind of thing till he feels comfortable. Telling him you love him every now and then doesn't do it.
So for the sake of your heart, I think it's probably best to take him at his word that he just wants sex.