I was seeing this guy for about a month, I know it isn't long at all but we spent all our time together. We got along so well right from the start,... Show More
Most Helpful Opinion
Sounds like you need to make a choice here. You can either wait for him to go out there and have some experiences with other girls that will help him decide what he wants, or you can move on. The simple fact is, sometimes when we get out of long relationships we think the answer is to go out and "meet" different people. It's natural curiosity, but if he's telling you that sexual curiosity has no part in that, then he's not telling the truth. If you go out and date other people, sex will become an issue at some point. It's only natural to want to have sexual experiences with other people, especially if you've only really been with one or two people. So, his primary reason may not be motivated by sex, but sex does figure into it. I've been around long enough to know when someone is telling you something when they're trying to save your feelings and that is exactly what this guy is doing.
Does this make him a bad person? Certainly not. It sucks that he let things get taken this far, knowing from the beginning that he was not looking for a serious attachment. Did you do something wrong? No, I don't think that you did. You sound like that type of person that prefers having a relationship with some longevity as opposed to entertaining brief, pointless flirtations with multiple people---and there is NOTHING wrong with that. You want something that will last and he wants to go out and have a few experiences hoping that that will show him what he's been missing and point him in the right direction. But, to be honest, no one else is going to be able to give him what he's looking for. He's not going to find peace of mind from someone else, the only person that can give that to him is him.
Now, should you wait for him? Honestly, that is a question only you can answer. Who knows how long it will take for him to figure out what he wants. My advice? Don't hinge your happiness on this guy. There are plenty of other men out there that truly do know how to treat a lady and I don't think that you should wait around when you could be with someone who knows what he wants. Granted, at 19 years old, you still have a bit of growing up to do, but there is no reason for you to put your life on hold for this guy. Wipe away your tears and bring that chin up. You've been through a lot and you have so much to offer a man who is ready for it. Don't let pessimistic thinking get you down. Because if you do, this will only be one more experience that will make you think all men treat you badly. You need to break that circle of thinking. Once you let those feelings go, it will open the door for the right guy. You get what you put out. You create your reality. Change the way you think about men, and you will find that men approach you in relationships will change.
I know, this probably seems like cold comfort now, but just give it a little time and thought. Things will change and good things will happen, if you let them.