I've heard that its good to 'agree with the breakup' if you want to get your ex back.... is this true?

[kristen_k7]

There are some people who say a good way to get your ex who broke up with you to actually want you back is to tell them you think it was a good idea that you broke up. Apparently it in some ways itmakes them feel rejected and guys always want what they can't have or it makes them jealous/curious. Do you guys think that's true or think its a good strategy? I'm really unsure about it... any advice would be appreciated!

[finallyelaine]

I guess it's a sort of reverse psychology thing. I did this recently, with no intent of getting back together---and got four messages on my phone and she had not called me IN MONths. It depends on what you want. It doesn't hurt either way because you MUST move on anyway. Agreeing to the break-up helps you move on. Ask yourself if you want her back, but don't reject her just to get her back. Reject her foR YOU so that you are better able to move on. The way I look at it, why be with someone that doesn't think you're the best thing that has ever happened to them? If you get them back, so what? It's like pressing pause while watching a movie only to continue where you left off. Move on, work on YOU, and time will tell if you are meant to be together. Whether this strategy works or not, either way it's the best choice...Reject her, move on, and live your life to the fullest.

[BirdofParadise]

Yes, because when they break up with you they are expecting you to be crushed and that you just can't live without them. If you say "yeah, you're right... breaking up is better for both of us"

and calmly walk away they will start to think "oh no, she doesn't need me". And if you're not a huge crying mess after the split, it will bother them even more. They want you to be upset about losing them, they want to feel needed.

[Letsbereal]

Yeah it is a good idea. When you do it, stay strong. Don't contact him. only respond to him when he says he WANTS TO GET BACK?

[kristen_k7]

Some people say that you should actually contact them first to say that though... but you think that's a bad idea? I should just wait for him to contact me?

[Letsbereal]

How long have you been apart? because he will expect you to blow up his phone and cry. Don't do that. He will panic and contact you. When he does, ignore him a couple times. He will try and find out why you seem to be fine with it. That's when you tell him that you've been thinking about breaking up with him but could not work up the courage to do it. You're happy he did it because you didn't want to hurt him. Then tell you gotta finish what you were doing. Trust me he ll never be able to sleep

[kristen_k7]

Well we kind of went through two weeks of him saying he needed to think and he didn't know what he wanted. And then we pretty much officially broke up last week (even though he didn't come out and say he wanted to break up that's what I took it as). So it's been a week since then. He contacted me on Friday night and was kinda weird... he said that our situation was tragic... whatever that means. So should I just wait til he contacts me next then to say I think it was a good idea?

[Letsbereal]

yeah don't contact him. Let him contact you. Then you say it to him. Even when he calls he says he want to get back, he may still be not sure of what he wants and play games with you. Still tell him its the best thing ,make it seem like you dumping him. That's going to get him to get his head straight.

[kristen_k7]

Okay thanks for the advice :)

[Letsbereal]

no prob