Because you are looking for something more than a guy to just like you back, and come onto you. When they come onto you, it seems too simple...so maybe they aren't as special as you thought they were. The bigger the challenge, you feel the better the outcome will come of it. I think maybe you might like the mystery of a guy, and once this is gone you feel disappointed...almost as if you don't want to figure him out. You like that heat, and the rush you get from being around him. When you have no clue whether or not he likes you. You would rather him perhaps hint at it slightly rather than come out and say it. You want that passion you see in movies. But, the truth of it is that a lot of the mystery will go away once you start to get to know someone. Being around him might make you realize disgusting habits he has: like chewing too loud when he eats, interrupting you when you talk, etc. haha. But, there are also some good benefits to this! When he learns more about you he will grow to care for you in ways that aren't as possible when there is too much mystery. So, don't be afraid to let a guy get to know you because it might actually help the passion come back. There is a different kind of feeling that you get from the rush of the long glance you share with someone you like vs. a guy that knows exactly what you want when you are feeling sick. The deeper feeling of knowing he truly cares is a really great feeling. Good luck!
I definitely have this problem too. I push and push and chase and the second they admit to liking me I freak out and push them away. I honestly think it's cause I'm afraid and I do think I'm missing out on some great guys with this behavior but it's something I'm working on changing about myself. I read somewhere that it can connect to our childhoods and I can see a relation in my life to that. I'm just gonna put this out there, it's like how my parents separated when I was little and I only got to see my dad a couple times a year. I would push and drive for more time and attention with him but as the time grew progressively longer between visits, it got more awkward and I didn't like what I was getting. I was longing for a father figure but was unhappy with what I got. And when I look back, I can see it correlated with the way I reacted to boys around me. At least that's my problem. Maybe you have a different story or nothing relating to it at all but that was just an example :) I just hope we can get over it.
I do the same. Love the chase or fear of commitment . Either way you don't want or aren't ready for a relationship.
I'm trying to change but I just don't take guys too serious anymore like I guard myself from false hope or getting hurt so I try to distance myself
because you like the challenge or you're afraid of commitment.
i'm the same way.
BUT it'll change once you meet the perfect guy, I promise ;)
then you'll just feel incredibly lucky!
Several possible reasons:
1) You enjoy the thrill of the case (like you've stated)
2) You may subconsciously or consciously worry about commitment going wrong
3) They don't resist you enough to make the chase thrilling.
etc and so forth.
If you enjoy what you are doing, keep it up but realize that at the same time you are breaking a lot of men's hearts and leaving them with jaded mentalities. If you are displeased with this situation maybe you should "up" the quality of men you pursue, they will provide a better resistance for your approach and it may be a little more fulfilling.
~ ArtistBBoy
In my own opinion, I think its because at first sight, you are really interested in them and see them as challenging if you get them interested in chasing you but when they do, either they were not much of a challenge as you would've expected . You wanted them to chase you and you them but they just went for it and didn't play the little game that all girls & boys play where one chases the other, but once one of them loses interest, the other one backs off and tries to spark that interest again which leads us back to square one. Where you have feelings for them again.
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Seems like you crave the attention or the chase more. It's actually very common that many girls are like this. There is such a thing as karma though, so I think you could be voiding yourself of a great guy or a great relationship. The only one who can change this, is you.
I have kinda experienced this too. Its part of the power cycle. Humans need to set goals and attain them in order to feel powerful. Then they move on to another goal. It sounds like you may want what you can't have but once you have gotten what you think you want it is not as appealing as you thought. I have done this to a few girls. It always leaves some bad blood between them and I so I try to avoid it.
Because you don't actually like them as a person, or individual; you don't find them valuable as people.. Which is sort of sad... Appreciation and admiration would give them worth, and then you'd be happy that they want to "come onto you".
I feel the same way! At first I see a guy and I just drool over them and once they give me their attention I loose interest and feel uncomfortable around them and when they talk to me. I feel like I'm wasting good relationships but this always happens someone please help
I do the same thing!!! It's weird!! I think personally I'm just scared of getting attached and then getting my heart broken..
Well I wish it wasn't like that but it is, I honestly have no logical reason besides the fact that some girls minds work like that
Oh my goshhh I do this too and its honestly so frustrating, I have never been able to full on get into a relationship with anyone because of this, it's honestly really frustrating. Oh well...
its because your narcissistic, its a very serous mental disorder
I'm the same way. I feel like maybe it's our brains telling us maybe we shouldn't be with them after all. Maybe if we really love someone then we will realize we won't feel that way towards them. I don't know I just hope that's what it is ahah
because-you're-an-asshole?
Ask yourself
Do you like them or do you like the idea of them
you are a daddy issues masochist. abusive father i suppose? you lose respect for a guy when he becomes lovey dovey for you.. .
I'm a bit like this as well... I hate it :(
just cause
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