Why do girls wait for guys to text them all the time?

[Anonymous]

Sometimes guys like to feel important too. Most of the time girls just resort to letting the guy do everything for them like text messages, asking for phone number, breaking the ice. But staying on topic, i myself don't like to be the only one texting back asking "hey what's up" or "hey do you wanna go out" it just becomes bothersome and hopefully I speak for us guys in general and it's not just a personal thought. It would be nice if for once a girl breaks off protocol and texts you first. And it doesn't need to be for the first time either. It can be for a conversation starter as well.

Guys and girls it doesn't matter. What do you think of this? Should the guy always make the first move when texting a new girl? If so, why?

[Anonymous]

Why? Because if I like a girl I reach ouy first. If I am not really into her I don't. Most women realize this is how most us regular guys are. We go after what we wantm if they dont hear from us they definitely start to wonder if we are still interested, and ususlly rightfully so.

At that point if she starts messaging first when the guy isn't that interested, she is setting herself up for rejection. It is a lot like how guys look for flirting signs that the girl is giving him a go ahead to make a move. If we see the signs, we proceed. If we don't see the signs, we avoid a probably rejection by aborting. Guys not initiating is the woman version of "warning, you're not getting the signs he's interested"

[devilish-cutie]

yes, this is true, i text guys first or initiate and mostly its them not interested enough, althought effort should be mutual and its totally understandable that some guys wonder if a woman is interested enough if she never seems to do anything and leaves it to him, and if he wonders this and feels like he is only one putting an effort its probably true, and i dont mean just initiating text but also keeping the conversation and such, you can feel it

[Spongebobssocks]

This!! He is right..

[Argus14]

It usually isn't so bad but it gets to be a pain in the ass after awhile to be honest. A lot of the time I'll just stop doing it just to see if she's even willing to make an effort or not.

[Asker]

That's right dude.

[TylerTee06]

Yeah, it be like that :/

[existing_not_living]

Because it shows that he is actually interested in us. We want to know that you are actually thinking about us. If a girl likes you she is probably thinking about you at least 2-3 times a day, probably more. We just don't think a guy likes us unless he texts us first. I hate it when guys these days are making girls do things first. Just be a gentleman and text a girl first and do it often.

[Asker]

When I text too often wondering what she is doing, I too feel desperate and obsessive. And it's lame for us because guys can easily come off as creepy and scare the girl off for texting too much. Girls? Well if they text too much to me, I feel like they're thinking they want a relationship and at times can feel intimidating. Sometimes that's not all what guys want. Sometimes we just want to be friends or have a girl to speak to because well...guy friends can get dull. You cannot have deep meaningful conversations all the time with em lol.

[existing_not_living]

Texting is not for deep and meaningful conversations. It's for light conversation or telling someone information.

[Vegasrunner]

@existing_not_living If a guy has to always reach out first the girl is not interested honestly for a relationship to work a woman needs to be doing about 80% of the pursuing.

[CheeseLoveWhiz]

The last 2 times I tried the guys both started ignoring me and never answered back. It wasn't like I was texting every day or all day. I was literally waiting days in between. When the both started talking to me in the first few weeks they both texted me a lot or sometimes everyday.

I got the impression that guys get annoyed with you texting first.

[meowcatwoman]

They don't want to seem obsessive or clingy (even if they are) so therefore, they want the amount of text messages first send to each other to be even or mainly from the guy, as they don't mind him sending many texts (unless he starts to become clingy)! I don't have a phone and talk to my boy in person anyway.

[FictionalCharacter]

I learned the hard way in high school and so did some of my friends. As a millennial, back in the early 2000s guys tried to play it cool. By hanging out with group of guys and put on a front, like they never had a time for a relationship. Also, guys secretly passed notes 📝 to girls and give them their phone number. But never ever wanted to be seen with her in public. Guys didn’t want to make it official with girls until they tested the waters with her through phone calls, texting, MySpace and emails. But if a girl ever calls 📞 a guy three times a day. Or chat with him through long hours, he’ll get annoyed and break up with her on the spot during the phone conversation. Not because she was aggressive or angry or anything. No, just because she was talking too much. That I had guys tell me or to my friends “OH MY GOD, SHUT UP ALREADY!” They hang up and become angry the next day. Meanwhile the girls bawl and cry for a whole week. That during that time, guys are coming up with stories to their buddies like they are the victim because the girls had the audacity to call them.

Also, lots of guys have admitted they don’t like clingy attached girls.

[varan69]

Love your answer but no not all true or not all true for some guys. Those guys were dick to you guys if they did that. I guess we're from the same 2000s yey lol

[Rei13]

It comes down to if the other person actually likes you or not on either side when it comes to texting back and forth or breaking the ice. You put more effort into the things that you want and as far as messaging goes I am pretty indifferent to who messages first. There should be effort on both sides when it comes to talking whether it’s through text or in person. Whenever it comes to dating however I do think it should be the guy asking out the girl on either the first date itself or to be in a relationship. I like men with initiative and it shows that he is interested in pursuing me. It isn’t like I can’t, or that I never have, it’s just better that way

[Steelcore5280]

Women think it's the man's role to be pursuing all the time (which is absolutely ridiculous). They think that they're the prize (which they are not), and so expect the man to initiate the conversation with them all the time.

Little do they know (and likely don't care enough to understand) that eventually the guy is gonna think she isn't as interested in him as he thought. It's gonna get tiresome for him, and eventually he's gonna not bother as much. I'd think I was wasting my time, and possibly being a bit off putting, if I had to initiate chats all the time. It's not fun being in that position.

[TheIrishWolf]

Text if you want to text. Don't be childish. Don't be playing games.

I'd move on to someone who's mature and is serious.

If I suspect someone's being like that, I just wouldn't engage. End of. Ironically, thatd probably make her want you more. It's true, from experience. Because women always get attention, until they dont and they start thinkjng about you more lol. Others have also said it. It piques there curiosity. Strange concept. A "want what you can't have" kinda thing.

[Jay3344]

I like when there is like a mutual back and forth. Like she texts good morning one day cause she woke up early and the next day I text want to get some coffee cause I woke up early. That type of thing is nice. It does get a little bothersome having to carry a texting cross for like a week or two during staler parts of a relationship but commitment is powerful and some girls like it more than just spice all the time. Just my take but it’s definitely hard on the psyche to be holding someone’s hand at times, I’m sure it’s hard on those girls to do the same for us guys at times.

[Anonymous]

Pure silliness. Women will make up excuses like, "we don't want to appear desperate". Or "we don't want to seem annoying". Or "shyness". The simple truth is women want to feel wanted. It's just simply part of thier ego's. They know as a woman they'll be pursued. So why would they pursue a man? Why would they text a man? And then they get angry when the guy isn't falling in line and doing what she feels his should. When the reality is that 90% of time she's given him no indication she even wants that.😆😆😆 women are subtle. So subtle in fact that a majority of the time she's the only person who realizes she ever did anything. 😆

[arodriguez664]

I know for me personally I don't like texting first because I don't want to be annoying. Especially if I can't get a read on the guy. If I know he likes me and wants to talk to me then I'll definitely text him first. Or I'll make the first moves. But if I can't get a read and I don't know if he likes me. Yeah I'm going to wait.

[Genie23]

I don't know about others but I'm really shy and awkward when it comes to imitating messages, calls or something even if I don't like them as more than friends. I'm an overthinker so I wait for them to contact me instead, once they do. I'm pretty talkative

[strateguy632]

i failed to comprehended question about "text" like s. m. s. because my experience gals dont like text messages with guys they wanna hear voice. this idea also was preserved in a pop song "if u text me i'll delete it"... only one exception in watsap generation liked text but she texted me also not waited for guy.

[AlexisDiani]

Traditionally guys have been the initiators and I know times have changed but there is still that hangover that's hard to shake. Then there is the possibility of rejection, and as a few others have said, being labeled ad needy or clingy. You make a valid point though that it should be more equatable. I know that when I feel comfortable in the relationship I am fine with starting the conversation.

[ShadezMcgee]

Because as the man it is your job to initiate the courtship and lead the interaction to where you would like it to go.

Women do text and initiate conversations so long as you do everything right and built her attraction properly and maintained it by acting like a man. When women like you, they reach out.

[Guccigabbana18]

We want to feel like the guy likes us. And there's that unspoken rule/saying that if he wants to, he will. So if a guy isn't texting you first all the time, he's not that into you. That's why we wait for them, it's to make sure they're interested.

[XRabbitHeartX]

Some guys seem to lose interest when the girl does all the work. I've seen this happen all the time now. Girl makes effort and guy takes her for granted and loses interest. I'm not saying all guys do this but from personal experience and from friends, this seems to happen a lot. So this fear of the guy losing interest is what keeps most of us away. Guys are quick to label a girl as clingy or desperate and the only way to avoid that is to let them do most of the initiating.

[Anonymous]

Guys get bothered after a while when girls show too much interest and initiate conversation too much. This guy I was talking to text me good morning beautiful every morning. Then one day he didn't so I assumed he wanted me to text him first. After a week he said he needed space. I asked what happened (because he texted me back every single time I texted him in like 5 minutes) he said I smother him with my good morning texts. we never ever bounced back from that. I was too mad.

[AnusNdaPainus]

I refuse to play stupid games with women

and they respond well to it

i never text even if they text me

just because you can text me and have my number doesn’t make you entitled to my time

YES! I did see you text me then I continued doing wtf I was doing before you sent it because my life doesn’t stop for you

[icantwait]

It does get so old. Always trying to keep their interest and making things exciting. Guys like girls that have confidence too! Its very sexy and nothing says that better then when the girl breaks the ice

[sassymoon]

We are trained to let the guy take the lead and told if they’re interested they would pursue no matter what. It can also differ in cultures but Mexican culture we are trained as stated above 👆

[Anemone978]

Its because when a girl does it, more often then not.. the guy starts to text less, ignore her texts, lose interest..
So it is just easier to have the guy come to us so we know you actually like us..

[RangerBlue22]

Women assume guys like challenge because they themselves are often turned on by it. They also often make a very bad assumption dating is the same for guys and it is for them.

[melissa2]

I think it's because society says that guys are the ones who break the ice, ask for numbers, and contact first so we think "if he liked me, he would, right?" Which is messed up but that's how we think