Girlfriend says hurtful things when we fight?

[Anonymous]

We have been together for 2 years now and we are in uni. She is the first person I've ever really trusted, so I tell her things I've never told anyone before. When we fight she says things that she knows will hurt me. I'm fine with her calling me an asshole/pussy/etc. or saying I have a small dick, because I know that it's not true. But she says things that I have told her (in confidence, that) I am insecure about, and it's not fair for her to try to use it against me in a fight.
There are some things you can say and some you can't. I mean, I would never use things she tells me against her.

I don't really know what to do. I have told her that I don't like it and she said she wouldn't do it, but last night she did it again.

[justbanANNAz]

i hav a mate like that.
every time we have an argument, he sits there talking about my past and shit. its really annoying and hurtful as u said.

i totally agree, there are limits.
ok this is what you do. youv said here that youv confronted her before about it, and she's still continued doing it. this indicates that she's taking slight advantage of u.

now i know youv been together 2 years and thats wonderful but how long do u want to keep living with that? i suggest u start getting a little firm and using some threats.

something like 'listen babe... iv told you about this before. just because i trust you, doesn't mean that gives u the permission to take advantage of the deepest parts of me. I'm not gonna allow it anymore. if u feel that you can't stop yourself from bringing those things up every time we argue... then i really think i won't b able to do this anymore...'

ur being nice, but firm at the same time. if she's that thick headed to still not get the message... u know what u need to do. dont ignore ur conscience if its trying to do u good. best of luck man

[passionforprince]

Seems like she doesn't really want to resolve the fight but win the fight. If she can make you feel bad or perhaps even mad then she has won. She must have learn that fighting this way is effective and gets results. Only thing you could really do since talking to her has not made her realize is to make her feel she is going to lose you when it happens. Perhaps leaving for a day if she calls you names or if you don't live together than ignore her calls or stop doing something you normally do special. Make her realize you will not accept that behavior from her or else she is going to lose you and your trust.

[523206720]

Stop confiding in her and find a best friend that you can confide in instead. This might take time and patience but I don't ever believe it's ever a good idea to assume that somebody loves you and cares about you simply because you guys are dating. I find that often times these are the most dangerous and most unstable relationships ever - to trust a romantic partner instead of a reliable and honest friend.

[rthomas43]

Do not stand for this. Stop it now, or it will continue forever.
Tell her it stops or you leave.

[rthomas43]

Thanks for MH :)

[CommieDearest]

She really shouldn't even be calling you names out of anger. People don't seem to understand that the health of a relationship is not only contingent on the frequency of arguments but what takes place during.

She's verbally abusive, and childish. Not cool dude, my instincts would be to tell her you're ready to gtfo if she doesn't learn to watch her mouth. Anger is not a get out of jail free card to say mean things to someone you care about.

[matrix124]

When she does this during a fight, say to her that you're not okay with her saying such rude things or going there. Correct her when it happens. Just because you're fighting with someone, doesn't mean they have to rude or disrespectful. They are supposed to love & support you, not berate & insult you.

[Estelita]

Peoples true colors come out when they are drunk and or angry. Would youallow someone else to treat you like that? She shouldn't belittle you, use personal things that you told her in confidence against you, and or call you derogatory and demeaning names. That is horrible. But if she really loved and cared for you, no matter how angry she is with you. That's just unacceptable. Don't allow her to continue to do that. Either she stops or you should leave.

[basicallychrista]

i do that too, except to my sister, so I can understand how she's feeling. There's just anger. Pure anger, and us natural women bitches CANNOT control it. Well, we can but it's a lot harder than you'd think..

[Jerusha]

I think she only wants to provoke u cuz she's angry.

[abundantlyrich]

Tell her it hurts

welcome to the world, where liars love to fuck with the truth literally..