Does she really like me but is embarrassed?

[Anonymous]

A few months ago a girl in my class suddenly started talking to me. We kind of hit it off but both of us were too shy/scared to do anything about it. We talked about how silly it was and we eventually did something about it. However, she said that she just wants a friends with benefits deal. Part of that deal is that no one else finds out. And thats how it has been for months now. Things have been great and we have both said how we like each other and enjoy being together.. but she still doesn't want a relationship. From time to time she is paranoid that our classmates will find out what we are doing. She says its because she doesn't want people to get the wrong idea about us but I think she is embarrassed of me. Even her closest friends aren't aware of me. Possible reasons are that I am very overweight (but tall so its bad but not very bad) or that I am quite a bit older than her. Maybe something else.
Embarrassment and/or just not interested in me?

[Michelle892]

She isn't interested. If she says she only wants friends with benefits and you agreed then that is all you can expect from her. You should not have began this sort of relationship with her if you harboured feelings as the whole point of friends with benefits if that it is no strings attached and no feelings developed. If you are no longer interested in a friends with benefits relationship or believe that this could somehow develop into something more, it's best that you let her go. I also believe that you should work on improving your self esteem, your physical characteristics do not define you and this girl is not helping you to see that. Sorry if this was blunt but I hope it was beneficial nevertheless.

[Asker]

Thank you :)
I didn't harbour feelings going into it but I think we both developed them in our conversations during cuddling- she's said she does have feelings for me too but she's not interested in pursuing them. I can accept that. Just curious if its because she's embarrassed to admit to others she likes me or.. ?

[Michelle892]

I think it's more important to ask yourself if it's really important to know the answer to that question. If it turns out she is, wouldn't that only wound your self esteem? If you don't want to take this route, then feel free to ask her, it could be for a range of reasons: she is busy, holding feelings for another to name a few but you're right, she COULD be embarrassed of you (which would say far more of her character then of yours!) I think the best way to deal with this situation is without knowing the true answer and instead focus on finding someone who will proudly show you off to the world. All the best friend :)

[Asker]

Thanks again :)
I suppose its a self-improvement thing. If its embarrassment thats her problem, if its something I need to do/improve on as a person then maybe I should consider doing so

[MJas16]

She must be interested in you to want to be friends with benefits. Usually do those type of things when they are attracted to the other person. I guess she doesn't want people to think bad about her. Usually the girls are called the sluts and the guys are considered legends or whatever for having those type of relationships. If you really want something more than just that, be straightforward with her and tell her. You shouldn't have to be anyones secret. You deserve better than that :)

[Asker]

Thanks :)

[MJas16]

No problem :)