How long after a girl becomes single should you wait before asking her out? Is this a good idea?

[KainHighwind]

Ok, this girl I've been crazy about for months just became single recently. She really liked her boyfriend but he essentially got bored with her and just dumped her

I don't know how she's taking it right now (We haven't talked in like a month), but I have an idea. I have to call her for one of my teachers (taking a class she took, she left her stuff in it, teacher wants her to come get it). I was thinking of calling her tonight aobut it, and when she comes to get it, say that we need to like catch up (since its been months since we've hung out) and then ask her to like lunch or something. If we do that, I'd then ask her out on a date while we're out

It was just five days ago... Is this too soon? If so, what else can I do? Just be there for her? Tell her how I feel?

I sort of wanna tell her but I don't know if its a good idea. She means more to me than anyone else does. I care about her more than I do for anyone else, including most of my family. Just being around her puts me in a good mood and if I was having a bad day, hearing her voice was enough to cheer me up, she's made me happier than anyone else ever has

I've been with other girls and even when I was with them, I could admit that they were having a bad hair day or they didn't look great one day or something. Not her though... She's always been downright beautiful to me. She has an amazing personality and she's downright gorgeous.

She's the closest to heaven I've ever been and I'm pretty much constantly thinking of her all the time. I'd do anything for her to be happy and just seeing a smile on her face makes me happy...

[SourShoes]

sounds like you're really into her from what you say... but is she into you?

you'd be doing the right thing by just asking her to have lunch with you for now. that way you can check her level of interest. you can learn about how she feels and if you get the signals that she's ready to move on and she likes you, then ask her out.

everyone is different in how they react to a relationship ending. some people think that the best way to get over somebody is to get under them, and others like to take time to be single for a while for whatever reason they feel.

"too soon" to one person can be eternity to another.

[Trulyconfused]

I think it is a little too soon to ask her out because if you do, she might take you as a rebound rather than someone she is truly interested in being with. I think instead you should be there for her, while making it somewhat obvious that you are interested and see how she responds to your efforts at being there when she needs you.

She should really appreciate that, and once you notice that she's starting to get over her tough break-up, make your move- ask her out then. Good luck.

[KainHighwind]

Well.. Um... How do I be there for her while making it obvious without it being too obvious or whatever lol

Like we really haevn't talked at all these past few months and I have no idea how she's doing right now lol. I mean, I don't wanna be her emotional tampon but I don't know how to be there for her without becoming that

[Trulyconfused]

lol what I meant is that while being there for her, to make sure she knows you want to be more than just her friend. I say that because at times we interpret someone being there for us as a sign of friendship; and you need to make sure she knows that's not the case.

Yea, becoming her emotional tampon isn't so great either lol. I guess just hang out with her and try to become close to her again. Try to make her see that this other douche isn't worth it; because YOU'RE there.

[KainHighwind]

lol I just don't kow how to do that without asking her out

Before she got with him, I tried to do that but she like never got the hint even though she apparently liked me too.

Basically.. Just ask if she's like OK and then sa I'd never do that to her or something?

[Trulyconfused]

Just ask her if she wants to go grab a bite to eat and then if SHE brings him up, then you say that. But if not, don't bring him up and just try to rekindle what was once there between you guys.

[KainHighwind]

k

so no asking her on a date at the lunch...

[Trulyconfused]

No don't do that, its too soon. But make sure you stay in touch with her and after a few times of talking you ask her out. Good luck, and let me know how it goes :)

[abbxify]

I'd personally let her have some time. She needs to be completely over her last break up before she starts dating you. You don't want to feel like a second choice, someone she just starts dating to try to get over her ex. I think you should just be there for her, but don't over step your boundaries.

she'll be glad to have you soon enough. :) Good luck!

[KainHighwind]

Um... How do I be there for her without overstepping my boundaries/letting her know that I like her?

Like I don't wanna become her emotional tampon or whatever lol

[abbxify]

Like, you don't wanna act like one of her girlfriends. Leave her boy problems to them. I think you should just comfort her and stay "hey, everything's gonna be all right."

[KainHighwind]

hm

oh, about how long do you think I should let her have?

[kaseykahneno1]

everyone take break ups differently. I would friendly as to show you care. but it depends on how serious the relationship was. so I would let her take a breather.

[Anonymous]

try just casually texting or calling her up and seeing if she'd like to grab lunch or coffee and hang out. Then maybe arrange a few more of these and then ask her out on a date